The Undead Day Nineteen

by Haywood, RR

  ‘We need a time out and somewhere safe to stay…’ Paula starts to say.

  ‘Safe? The fort?’ Blowers scoffs, ‘that’s the least safe place in the…shit, sorry, Nick.’

  ‘You fucking twat, Blowers’ Cookey mutters, ‘she’ll be fine, Nick.’

  ‘I didn’t mean it like that,’ Blowers says, ‘Lilly will be fine but it’s still a cunt filled place of cu…’

  ‘Blowers,’ Paula says with a huff, ‘it’s not that bad.’

  ‘It is,’ Cookey says, ‘I’m with cockbreath…we should ditch the survivors and go…or,’ he adds quickly, ‘we should ditch the survivors, grab Lilly and her brother and then go…’

  ‘Yes!’ Blowers says, ‘we should do that. Grab Lilly and get the fuck out of it.’

  ‘And Billy,’ Cookey says.

  ‘And Billy,’ Blowers adds, ‘and Milly.’

  ‘Hold the fuck on,’ Blinky cuts in, ‘Lilly and Billy and Milly? You taking the piss?’

  ‘Nope,’ Nick laughs, ‘you’ll love Milly…’

  ‘I don’t like children,’ Blinky says.

  ‘You’ve not met Milly,’ Cookey says.

  ‘I don’t want to go back,’ Mo’s voice suddenly joins the conversation bringing it to a sudden silence.

  ‘We have to go back,’ Paula says, her tone soft but firm.

  ‘What for?’ Blowers asks.

  ‘Hold the wheel,’ I say to Marcy and twist round.

  ‘Fucking hell, Howie,’ she launches over me to grab the wheel.

  ‘I had no idea you felt like that,’ I say to Blowers.

  ‘Howie, slide out,’ Marcy says, digging her elbow into my ribs.

  ‘We all do,’ he says, dropping his head to look down.

  ‘Howie,’ Marcy snaps, ‘slide out before we crash into the fucking hedge…’

  ‘Cookey? You the same?’ I ask.

  He looks at Blowers and nods, ‘we hate it.’

  ‘Clarence is the same,’ Blowers says.

  ‘We won’t get to the bloody fort if you don’t slide out,’ Marcy says.

  ‘Is he?’ I ask the lads, ‘why didn’t anyone say anything?’

  ‘Just…shit,’ Marcy says as the Saxon starts weaving down the road, ‘slow down…’

  ‘Howie, maybe let Marcy drive?’ Paula asks.

  ‘Eh?’ I look back out the windscreen to see us weaving down a country lane, ‘just hold it straight.’

  ‘I’ll hold you straight you bloody…right slow down and let me drive.’

  ‘What’s going on?’ Clarence’s worried voice asks through the radio.

  ‘We’re fine,’ Paula replies.

  I start sliding out as Marcy starts sliding in and my world fills with her arse as she twists and curses for me to shift my fat backside over.

  ‘That’s my boob,’ she announces to the world when her breast thrusts itself into my hand trying to hold the wheel.

  ‘You put your boob in my hand.’

  ‘No, your hand found my…right move over…go on…’

  ‘I’m going,’ I get free and plop to the side on the passenger seat as she sinks down to put her foot back on the accelerator. ‘There, all done…’

  ‘Don’t speak to me. I am irritated right now,’ she plucks at her bra strap under her shirt and shifts in the seat, ‘it almost fell out,’ she adds with a huff.

  ‘Shouldn’t be so big then,’ I mutter which just earns me a dark look. ‘Anyway, you really feel that strongly about it?’ I ask the lads. ‘Mo?’

  ‘Fuck yeah, I mean yes.’

  ‘Nick?’

  He shrugs, ‘Lilly is there so I’m happy to go back to see her but not the fort.’

  I don’t need to ask Cookey or Blowers and if truth be told I feel the same way. The fort meant something once. Everything we gave for it but that’s the problem, we kept on giving and it never ended.

  ‘You feel the same,’ Paula says, watching me closely.

  ‘Yeah, yeah I do,’ I say and look to Charlie, ‘Charlie needs to see the doctor though and we need more ammunition and rifles, pistols too…grenades…hang on, Clarence, you there?’

  ‘Go ahead.’

  ‘The lads just told me how they feel about the fort. You the same?’

  ‘Definitely, Boss.’

  ‘Roy?’

  ‘Whatever Paula wants.’

  ‘Reggie?’

  ‘I just need somewhere quiet to go through Neal’s books.’

  ‘Fair enough then,’ I say, ‘we’ll drop the survivors off, get Charlie checked over and grab what we need then go again.’

  ‘What about Lilly?’ Cookey asks on seeing the frown on Nick’s face.

  ‘We can’t run with children,’ I say, ‘Lilly yes but she won’t leave her brother. Nick?’

  ‘Yeah,’ he says quietly, ‘I know.’

  ‘Ah fuck it,’ Blowers says, ‘we can stay for the night…’

  ‘One night won’t hurt,’ Cookey says quickly.

  ‘Nah,’ Nick says, his face passive, ‘I…like…’

  ‘Go on,’ Paula says, prompting him gently.

  ‘Like, don’t take the piss but…’

  ‘We’ll always take the piss.’

  ‘Cookey shush,’ Paula says, ‘Nick, go on.’

  ‘Twat,’ Nick says looking at Cookey, ‘I want to see Lilly but I hate being there the same as everyone else.’

  ‘How about,’ Marcy calls out, ‘we see how everyone feels when we get there?’

  I look at Charlie then at Nick and finally at Marcy. ‘We’ll stay for the night,’ I say firmly.

  ‘Boss,’ Nick says.

  ‘Charlie needs to be checked and we all need a rest. We’re staying for the night.’

  ‘Or,’ Marcy says, ‘we wait and see how everyone feels when we get there.’

  ‘You just said that.’

  ‘I said it again,’ she says bluntly, ‘is that okay with you?’

  ‘Alright pissy…’

  ‘Don’t start, Howie.’

  ‘Mr Howie?’ Charlie calls out, ‘may I ask a question?’

  ‘Yeah what’s up?’

  ‘You said the fort is on an island…how will we transport Jess?’

  ‘Oh,’ I say.

  ‘Good question,’ Paula says.

  ‘Might not be staying then,’ Marcy mutters.

  ‘I know!’ Cookey announces.

  ‘Oh fuck,’ Blowers groans.

  ‘Can I get out now?’ Nick asks.

  ‘I’ll come with you,’ Mo says.

  ‘Fuck off,’ Cookey says, bursting at the seams with an idea buzzing in his mind.

  ‘Cookey,’ I say with a look, ‘we haven’t had coffee today…’

  ‘No no, it’s a proper idea,’ he says getting to his feet with such a grin it makes Charlie start laughing.

  ‘Fucking won’t be,’ Blowers says.

  ‘It is!’ Cookey says so excited it sets Charlie off even more.

  Paula looks at me. I lift my head. She tilts hers.

  ‘Don’t,’ Blowers pleads.

  ‘Fuck it,’ I groan, ‘go on then, Cookey…but, if it’s shit then Blinky can punch you in the leg.’

  ‘Fuck yes,’ Blinky sits up with a grin.

  ‘I will accept that challenge, Mr Howie,’ Cookey says, ‘because my idea is not shit. It is a good idea and in fact…’

  ‘Get on with it then,’ Blowers says.

  ‘Excuse me,’ Cookeys says with mock politeness at Blowers knowing he is making Charlie laugh, ‘I am so confident of my idea I shall transmit my idea over the radio network. Ahem…Clarence, it is Cookey. Are you receiving me?’

  ‘Are you pissing about, Cookey?’

  ‘I am not. I have an idea.’

  ‘Is it stupid?’

  ‘No. It is wise and learned and…stuff. Roy? Can you hear me?’

  ‘Unfortunately.’

  ‘Reg?’

  ‘I will not answer to that name.’

  ‘Sorry, Reginald? Can you hear me because I have a…�
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  ‘Fucking get on with it,’ Blowers groans.

  ‘Blinky, if he doesn’t tell us in thirty seconds you can…’ I call out.

  ‘One Two Three,’ Blinky counts fast.

  ‘Fine, this is my idea…do you all remember those nice houses by the beach where we stayed the night when we left the fort? Well…’

  ‘You fucking genius,’ Blowers says, ‘mate…that’s brilliant…’

  ‘Cookey,’ I say in shock.

  ‘Cookey that’s a bloody good idea,’ Clarence says.

  ‘I haven’t said it yet,’ Cookey says plaintively, ‘Let me say it…well, why don’t we stay there instead of the fort? That way…Blowers I haven’t said the whole of my idea yet…that way Jess can be with us, Lilly can visit and…er…and oh yeah, we’re not in the fort.’

  ‘The lad’s got some smarts,’ Clarence says, clearly impressed.

  ‘Reggie?’ I ask through the radio.

  ‘As much as I hate to admit it, his idea is actually…’

  ‘FUCK YES,’ Cookey booms, ‘I impressed Reggie…the regmeister…old Reg…I am an intellectual fucking genius.’ He sits down proudly and nods round at everyone, ‘so me and Charlie will have one house and the rest of you can…what? Is that a bad idea?’

  Charlie doesn’t answer on account of the tears falling from her eyes at his performance. Her laugh is like a mini Clarence, all snorts and brays that makes us all grin.

  ‘Fine,’ he says glumly, ‘I’ll share with Blowers again….we ain’t spooning though.’

  ‘We are,’ Blowers says.

  ‘We ain’t.’

  ‘We are.’

  ‘I hate spooning Blowers,’ Cookey tells Charlie, ‘his willy digs in my back.’

  ‘Stop,’ she gasps, touching the cut on her face, ‘you’ll split my stitches…’

  ‘I said that to Blowers once but he didn’t stop,’ Cookey says with mock hurt, ‘just kept going the nasty brute.’

  ‘Switch on,’ Marcy calls out quickly.

  ‘What?’ I spin round to face the front as the laughing drops instantly, ‘arm up…Clarence, we’ve got someone in the road ahead holding an assault rifle…’

  ‘Roger, easing back. Reginald. Get the camera’s on at the back.’

  ‘They’re on, the back is clear.’

  ‘Stop the vehicle,’ I say to Marcy. We’re only half a mile from the bay and I don’t recognise the person holding the rifle. An adult male who lifts his arm in greeting then speaks into a radio. ‘Anyone recognise him?’

  ‘Let me see,’ Paula says leaning over the back of the seats, ‘yeah I do actually…he’s from the fort.’

  ‘You sure?’

  ‘Yeah definitely, ask Dave.’

  ‘Dave, get eyes on this bloke ahead. Is he from the fort?’

  ‘Stand by,’ I open the door and look back to see Dave jumping from the bus with his rifle up and aimed down past the Saxon, ‘he is, Mr Howie.’

  ‘He’s got a car,’ Marcy says, pointing past him to the back end of a blue mini parked round the bend in the road.

  ‘Roy, I’ll go forward. Get Kyle to drive…can you give me overwatch.’

  ‘Yep, getting out now.’

  ‘Blowers, your team protect the bus. Everyone stay here, I’ll go forward with Dave. Dave,’ I shout out as I drop down, ‘with me.’

  I wait for him to jog over then start down the road. My assault rifle held ready but lowered down.

  ‘Sure you recognise him?’ I ask quietly.

  ‘Yes, Mr Howie.’

  ‘Okay, chances are Maddox has trained him up but we don’t take chances. You see red eyes then shoot him and get back to the bus.’

  ‘Yes, Mr Howie.’

  ‘Clarence, if it goes bent then get that bus out of here.’

  ‘Will do.’

  ‘Overwatch on.’

  ‘Cheers, Roy,’ I turn back to see him standing on the roof of his van with an arrow already pulled back in the string.

  ‘No closer, Mr Howie,’ Dave says.

  ‘Okay,’ I stop about thirty metres from the man, ‘who are you?’ I call forward.

  ‘Brian,’ he shouts back, ‘it’s good to see you again, Mr Howie.’

  ‘Are you alone?’

  ‘I am,’ he shouts, ‘this is my point…’

  ‘We need to see your eyes,’ I cut him off, ‘put the weapon down and walk slowly towards us.’

  ‘I can’t do that, Mr Howie,’ he says with a genuine tone of apology.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘How do I know you’re not infected?’

  ‘Because I’m immune.’

  ‘Er…yeah I forgot about that…’

  ‘Lower the rifle and walk towards us.’

  ‘Ah don’t let Dave shoot me but I can’t…’ he’s shitting himself at the sight of Dave and even from this distance I can see him looking past us ‘…is that Roy up there?’

  ‘It is.’

  ‘Oh fuck…sorry, I’m really sorry, Mr Howie…I can’t put my gun down…’

  ‘Bit of an impasse then mate,’ I say, ‘which will end a bit sharply in about ten fucking seconds if you…’

  ‘NO,’ he shouts, ‘hang on…er…gonna use my radio…please don’t let Dave shoot me…’

  ‘Dave, if he touches that radio shoot him.’

  ‘Yes, Mr Howie.’

  ‘What? Hang on…no no no…oh shit…’

  ‘Calm down, Brian.’

  ‘Oh my god, Dave’s gonna shoot me…’

  ‘Fuck’s sake,’ I sigh at the sight of him turning to jelly, ‘get a grip, Dave won’t shoot you unless you do something stupid. Now what’s going on?’

  ‘I’m on guard,’ he blurts.

  ‘Clearly,’ I reply, ‘we’ll come to you but I really wouldn’t move if I were you.’

  ‘Oh fuck…fuck fuck fuck…’

  ‘Brian, calm down, mate,’ I say as we walk slowly towards him, ‘just need to see your eyes and then you can see ours, okay?’

  ‘Dave’s gonna shoot me.’

  ‘He’s not going to shoot you…well, no, he might shoot you if you…oh for fuck’s sake…stop shaking and open your eyes.’

  ‘Can’t. Dave’s gonna shoot me.’

  ‘Who the hell put you on guard?’

  ‘Can’t say,’ he whispers tightly, ‘gonna give you my radio…don’t shoot me…’ his voice comes out in static bursts of complete terror.

  ‘Okay,’ I say and glance at Dave who keeps his rifle locked on Brian.

  ‘Here,’ Brian holds it out with a hand that wavers in fear at the prospect of being shot by Dave.

  ‘I’m getting the radio,’ I tell Dave, ‘don’t shoot him for a minute.’

  ‘One minute, Mr Howie.’

  ‘No I meant don’t shoot him until I’ve got the radio.’

  ‘Oh fuck…’

  ‘Shoot him after you have the radio.’

  ‘No, no I mean…I’ll get the radio so don’t shoot him while I get the radio.’

  ‘Oh shit…’

  ‘Do I shoot him after you have the radio, Mr Howie?’

  ‘No,’ I groan, ‘not unless he does something.’

  ‘Roger. I will shoot you if you do something,’ he tells Brian.

  ‘Oh dear,’ Brian whimpers.

  I stride forward and take the radio which makes Brian flinch which makes Dave twitch which makes Brian yelp which makes me roll my eyes and get out of the way.

  ‘Hello? It’s Howie. Maddox?’

  ‘Mr Howie?’ A female voice asks, ‘Where are you?’

  ‘With some bloke called Brian who has just fainted…who is this?’

  ‘It’s Lilly, Mr Howie. Come straight through.’

  ‘Through? Through what? What’s happened? Why is this bloke out here with a rifle? Who gave it to him?’

  ‘Mr Howie, may I explain when I see you?’ She asks politely.

  ‘Lilly, are you okay? Are you free to speak?’

  ‘Everything is fine, Mr Howie. I promise.
Come straight through.’

  ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’

  ‘Honestly, Mr Howie. Come straight through.’

  I pause and glare at the handset gripped in my fist then glance down to Brian now lying on the ground, ‘This is Howie. If anyone touches Lilly or harms her I will fucking end you…are we clear?’

  ‘Mr Howie. I am fine. Honestly. There is nothing happening. I promise. Please, come straight through’

  ‘Maddox?’

  ‘Maddox is sick, Mr Howie.’

  ‘Lilly, wait there… NICK?’ I stride back towards the vehicles as Nick runs towards me.

  ‘What’s happened?’ He asks, ‘is she okay?’

  ‘What’s going on?’ Paula runs towards me.

  ‘Howie?’ Marcy asks.

  ‘Lilly is on the radio. She said everything is fine but that Maddox is sick. That bloke was guarding but I don’t like it…’

  ‘Want me to talk to her?’ Nick asks.

  ‘Check she’s okay,’ I hand him the radio.

  ‘Lilly, it’s Nick. You there?’

  ‘Nick! Oh god am I happy to hear your voice… Yes yes I am. Nick…come straight through…are you okay? Are you hurt or anything?’

  ‘I’m fine, are you okay?’

  ‘Yes! Yes I am fine, Nick. I promise. Please, tell Mr Howie everything is okay. Come down and I will explain everything that has happened…’

  ‘She sounds upset,’ Paula says at hearing the emotion in Lilly’s voice.

  ‘We could be walking into something,’ I say.

  Nick nods and thinks for a second, ‘Lilly, we need to be sure there ain’t, I mean there isn’t something going on…are you like held captive or something?’

  ‘No. I promise Nick. I am not…er…that day we met, you said something to me…if I tell you that you will believe me?’

  ‘Yeah go on,’ Nick says and I can see his knuckles turning white as he holds the radio.

  ‘You said that’s not our way. We do the right thing. Mr Howie said we have to do the right thing otherwise none of this is fucking worth it… you swore and you blushed then apologised for swearing. You said we do the right thing for the right reasons…you remember being in the field? Do you remember what I said to you?’

  ‘Yeah,’ He croaks, his eyes closed tight, ‘you er…you offered something.’

  ‘I did. Now do you believe me? I am fine, I promise you. I’d never lead you into danger, Nick.’

  Nick looks at me then at Paula, his eyes yearning for the answer. I nod and he presses the button back in, ‘we’re on our way.’