The Red and White 2 : Red, White and Beautiful

by Bec Botefuhr

  Shenodsandleavestheroom.Istareatthehangingsuitandfeelmy hearttwist.IamgoingtoSierra’suniversitytonight.IamgoingandI knowshe’lllikelybethere.She’spartofthestudentcouncilandmostof themhavetoattend.Ihavetriedtospeakwithherforfivedaysnow,with noluck.She’savoidingme.Ican’tblameher.Whywouldn’tshe?I fuckedup.Istandandwalkovertothesuit,runningmyfingersoverit.

  DoIhaveanychancewithhertonight?Anyatall?Willshetalktome?

  Atleastgivemeachancetoexplain?Thelastfewdaysofmylifehave beenhell.Iamthemeaningofthesaying‘youdon’tknowwhatyou’ve gotuntilit’sgone’I’veneverwantedanythinginmylifeasmuchasI wanther,andknowingIcouldhave,quitepossibly,lostherforever,does fuckedupthingstomyheart.

  “Marcus,thereyouare.”

  IstiffenatthesoundofChayne’svoicecomingthroughmydoor.I turnandfacethewomanIonceloved,butnowdespise.

  “Whatthehellareyoudoinghere,Chayne?”

  “YouknowwhyI’mhere.Ilivehere.”

  “Itoldyoutostayawayfromme.”

  Shesmilesandwalksin.Thewomanreallydoesn’tknowwhento stop.Iputahandup,stoppingherfromcominginfurther.

  “Ithoughtyoumightneedadatefortonight?”

  “Haveyouforgottenyourmeds,Chayne?”Isnap.

  Shefrownsandcrossesherarms.“Iamstillyourfiancé,Marcus.As farastheworldknows,atleast.Itwilllookbadforyoutogoalone.”

  “I’vegonetomanythingsalone,don’tpretendtocarenow.Weboth knowyouwanttocomebecauseyou’reworriedIwillseeSierra.”

  “Icouldn’tcarelessaboutthatlittlebrat,shewouldn’tdarecome betweenmylifeandme.”

  “Isthatathreat?”Igrowl.

  “No,it’sapromise.Don’tputherinmyway,Marcus.Ifyouleave meforherandIfindoutaboutit,you’llwishtogoditneverhappened.”

  “Wouldn’tdreamofit,”Igrateout,glaringather.

  EvenifIgotwithSierra,Iwouldnevertellher.NotuntilIgotridof herofficiallyandknewshecouldn’ttouchanythingthatismine.That includesmygirl.

  “Youwouldn’twantto.Icanmakeherlifealivinghell,Marcus.

  Youknowit.”

  “Believeme,woman.Iknowit.”

  “Don’tcallmewoman,showsomerespect.”

  “Leavemyoffice,Chayne,I’mnotinthemood.”

  “Youarewalkingafineline,MarcusHarrison.”

  “Yeah,backatyou.”

  Shehuffsatmeandthenturns,headingtowardsthedoor.Whenshe reachesit,sheturnsandgrowls,“Markmywords,Marcus.Iwilltakeher downifshegetsinmyway.”

  Thenshe’sgone.Igrowlandslammyfistagainstmythigh.Onmost women,thatwouldbenomorethanathreat,butwithChayne,Iknowit’s adamnpromise.Fuck.WhatamIgoingtodoaboutthis?

  ~*~*~*~*

  SIERRA

  “OhSierra,youlookstunning,”Rainebreathes,pinningthelast strandofhairtothetopofmyhead.

  Istareatmyselfinthemirror.Ihaven’tseenmyselflooksonicefor alittlewhilenow.Myreddressistightatthetop,withacorsettype bodice.Itflaresoutatthehipsandstopsjustabovemyknees.Mysilver heelsandsparklysilverclutchmatchitperfectly.Rainedidmymakeup, makingsuretoleavemeasnaturallookingaspossible.Shedidan amazingjob.Smokyeyes,lightredlipstickandmascara.Ireachupto fingerthesilverdiamondnecklacearoundmyneck.

  “Thankyou,Raine,Idon’tdeserveit,butthankyou.”

  Shespinsmearoundandfiddleswithmyhairatthefront.She’sdone itinanupstyle,looselysetatopmyheadwithlittlediamondclips holdingittogether.Littlebitsofhairdropdownthesidesofmyface, givingmeaverycasualbutelegantlook.

  “I’msorry,Sierra,forthewayIbehaved.Ididn’trealizehowmuch youcaredaboutMarcus.IfIdid,Iwouldn’thavebeensoquicktojudge.”

  Isigh.“Itwasn’tyourfault,youwereright.Iwasplayingwithfire.”

  “Itwasn’tmyplace,you’reabiggirlnow.”

  Ismileandpullherclose,wrappingmyarmsaroundher.“Thank you,Raine.”

  “Ah,don’tmessthemakeup,”shegiggles,huggingmetightlybefore lettingmego.

  “Knockthemdead,honey.Iknowyoucan.”

  Ibeamatherandhugheroncemorebeforeclutchingmypurseto mychestandwalkingout.Thedinnerisatthecampusfunctionroom,so wecanwalk.Quinnmeetsmeathisdoor,dressedinatux.Helooks gorgeous.Hetakesmyhand,pressinghislipsagainstmyskin.“Youlook gorgeous.”

  Igrin.“Youlookallrightyourself,hotstuff.”

  “Ahah,thatname’sreserved.Now,let’sgetthisoverwith.”

  IhookmyarmthroughQuinn’sandweleavethedormsandwalk throughthegardensuntilwereachthelargehall.Icanhearthemusic inside,it’spoundingoutthroughthedoorsandintothegarden.Ihesitate whenwegettothefrontdoor,deckedoutwithlittlefairylightsthatmake mefeelasthoughI’mbackatseniorprom.Quinntugsmyarmandpulls meinside.Istarearoundthelarge,openroom.Ithasastageupfront,a smallspacehasbeenleftforadancefloorandtherestistakenupwith roundtablesandchairs.Fancylightshangfromtheceilingsandpeople arescatteredabouteverywhere,alldressedtoperfectionandchatting awayhappily.Mychestclenches,butIturntoQuinn.

  “Looksgoodinhere.”

  “Headsup,thepartyisjustabouttostart.”

  IturntoQuinn,confused.“Huh?”

  “Yourmanjustspottedyou.”

  Ifeelmyspinestiffen.Marcusisherealready?Idon’tevengetfive minutestopreparemyself?Iswallowandmygazedartsdesperatelyover Quinn’sface.Hereachesout,takingmyhand.“It’sok,youcandothis.”

  “Ican’t,Ireallycan’t,”Ipanic,headingtowardsthedoor.

  “Youcan,andyouwill.Goodnews,Ican’tseethefiancé.Badnews, he’scomingover.”

  “Ineedthebathroom,”Istammer,feelingmyhearttakealeaptomy throat.

  “Sierra,”Quinnsays,butI’moffbeforehecanholdmeback.

  IhurrythroughthecrowdandwhenIreachthebathroom,Iquickly duckinside.Ipressmybacktothecooltiledwallandfocusonmy breathing.It’sok,youcandothis,youhavetodothis.Stopworrying aboutMarcusandjustfacehim,getitoverwithandmoveon.Ihurry towardsthesinkandstareatmyselfinthemirror,Ican’tevensplashmy facewithoutrunningmymakeup.Iclosemyeyes,gatheringmyself.I hearthedooropen,andIseeagroupofgirlscomingin.Magic.Ismile quicklyatthem,thenturnandpushmywaybackoutthedoor.Ican’t haveabreakdowninthebathroom,it’sso…typical.

  Iturnleft,insteadofgoingbacktowardstheparty.Iduckintoa nearbystorageroom,itisfullofspeakers,cords,andgymequipmentthat isusedwhenthehallisn’tbeingdeckedoutforfunctions.Iwalkin furtherandamabouttoclosethedoorbehindmewhenIhearthatsilky smoothvoicethatoncegotmybloodtoboilandmybodytocomealive inwaysIdidn’twanttoadmit.Thesadthingis,itstilldoesandIhate that.Ihatethathestillaffectsme,eventhoughI’mhurting.Idon’twant toturnaround,soforthemoment,Idon’t.Ijuststandthere,feelingthe skinonmybackprickleatthesoundofhissexyvoice.

  “Runningfromme,Sierra?”

  Iclosemyeyesandletoutalong,loudsigh.Turnaround,Sierra,you chicken.Withanotherdeepbreath,IturnandseeMarcusstandingatthe door,lookingdivineasalways.Hisperfectlyfittingsuitdoeswonderful thingstohislarge,muscledframe.Hisdarkbrownhairiswavyaround hisfaceandhisbrowneyesboreintomineasheletshisgazeslideslowly overmybody,beforefinallyreachingmyeyesandrestingonthem.I swallowandpressmyhandagainstthewalltosteadymyself.Marcus walksinandshutsthedoorbehindhim,the
nhishandreachesouttoflick thelighton.Whenwe’rebothinclearview,Ican’thelpbutletmyeyes linger.He’ssobreathtakinglybeautiful.Everygoddamnedpartofhimis perfect.

  “No,Iwasjust…Igotlost,”Ifinallymanage,toanswerhisquestion.

  Hislipscurlslowly.“Yougotlostinaschoolyou’vebeeninforhow long?”

  Yeah,allrightsmartass.

  “Ok,Iwasrunning,isthatwhatyouwanttohear?”Isnap,crossing myarmsovermychest.Ifeelsoexposedunderhisgaze.

  Hestepscloser,likeapredatorstalkinghisprey.“YouknowIdon’t likeitwhenyourun.”

  Iglareathim,ofcoursehehastobringuphisdominantsideright now.“Don’tstartyourdominantbullshitwithme,Marcus.I’mnot interestedinhearingit.”

  “Arewereallygoingtodothis,Sierra?Yellandscreamateach other?”

  “Whatdoyouwantmetodo?Justforgiveyou?Justgetoverit?You liedtome,Marcus,andyouchoseyourfiancéoverme.”

  HestepsevencloserandIbackupagainstthewall.“That’swhere you’rewrong,Sierra.Youmadethechoice.Youwalkedoutthedoor.I didn’tchooseanyone,Ididn’tendthings,thatwasyou.SoIbelieveitis youwhostartedthisdistancebetweenus,notme.”

  Damnmanhasapoint.Ididtellhimitwasoverandrunout,but that’sonlybecauseheliedtomeandhurtme.Ihadeveryright.Didn’tI?

  “Youlied,youhiredmejusttomakemeintoyourlittleproject.”I whisper,staringathischestinsteadofhiseyes.

  “That’sbullshitandyouknowit,”hegrowls.“Thatisnottheonly reasonIhiredyou.”

  “Ohreally?Whatwerethereasons,Marcus?Andsavethe‘you’reso smart,youhavegoodgrades’junk.”

  Hisliptwitches.“Formyprofessional,sweet,girltousethework junk,shemustbeangry.”

  “Canwegettothepoint?”Isnap.

  “Andwhatpointisthat?”hepurrs,pressinghishandtothewall besidemyheadandbringinghisbodyclose.Fuck,Iwishhewouldmove back.Hesmellssodamnedgoodwhenhe’sthisclose.

  “IknowChayneisstillthere.”

  “Whatwouldyouhavemedo,throwheroutandstartawar?”

  “See,thisiswhatImean.Youdon’twanttohurther,butshe continuallyhurtsyou.You’replayingwithme,Marcus,youneverreally wantedme.Younever…”

  Hecutsmeoffwithabarkofwordsthatcomesoloudlyandharshly, thatIflinch.“Don’tyoutellmewhatIfeel,Sierra.IknowwhatIwanted, IknowwhatIwantstill.Iwantedyou,Istillwantyou.Ican’tjustthrow Chayneoutbecauseshehasdonewrong,youandIbothknowthatwon’t work.It’snotasituationIcangetoutofeasily.”

  “Yourefusedtoleaveherinfearofhurtingher,Marcus,eventhough she’sawfultoyou.Ican’tbeexpectedtocomesecondtothat.Itwasa mistake,whatwedid,whatwe…”

  Hegripsthebackofmyneck,bringingmyfaceclosertohis.“It wasn’tafuckingmistakeforme.Itwaseverythingtome.Youranfrom me,youdidn’tgivemeachancetoexplainandyou’veignoredmycalls fordays.IkickedChayneoutofmysuite,Ikickedheroutandhavetold herwe’retakingabreak.ThereasonIhaven’tgottenridofher completelyisbecauseI’mtryingtofindproof.YouandIbothknowI can’tjustthrowheroutonthestreetwithouthertakingeverythingIhave workedfor.Soyes,fornowIamkeepingherarounduntilIcansortout whatitisIneedtodo.IhavetoprotectmyselfandwhatIcareabout.The bityoumissed,inallyourdramaticbullshit,isthatwhatIcareaboutis notjustmyjob,butit’syou.I’lldowhateverittakes.Ifyouanswered yourdamnedphone,youwouldknowthat.”

  Ifeelmyheartthudagainstmychestashiswordssinkin.Hewants me?He’sgoingtoleaveChayne?He.Wants.Me?

  “You…youwantme?”Iwhisper.

  “Howcouldyouevenaskthat?”hemurmurs,leaningsocloseIcan smellhisdivinebreath.

  “Ithought…yousaid…”

  “IwastryingtoprotectherbecauseIthoughtmaybetherewassome goodleftinher,butnowIseethereisn’t.Theminuteyouranoutthe door,IrealizedthemistakeIhadmade.Idon’twanttohurther,andI won’tleaveherwithnothing,butIwantoutofthiswithoutlosing everythingIhave.SoI’lldowhatIhaveto,tomakesurethathappens.”

  “Youcouldgetridofherbyshowingproofofhercheating,butyou won’tdothat.”

  “Idon’twantthistogetmessy,Sierra,I’mtryingtodotheright thing.Can’tyouunderstandthat?”

  “Idounderstand,butatthesametimeIreallydon’tknowwhyyou wouldtrytodoanythingtherightwaybyherafterwhatshedid.”

  “Look,ifitcomesdowntoitIwilldowhatIhavetodobutforright now,I’mtryingtomakethisassmoothaspossible.Notjustformebut foryoutoo,Sierra.Canyoujusttrustme,foramoment,andunderstand I’mdoingwhat’sbest?”

  “Andus?”Iwhisper.

  “Iwantyou,Sierra.Idon’tcareabouttherest.Youshouldhave neverrunfromme,youshouldhaveansweredyourphone,becauseifyou did,youwouldknowmychoicebynowandyouwouldhavesavedus boththeheartache.You’rewhatIwant,andit’syouIwantbymyside, nother.Sweetheart,youshouldknowthat.”

  BeforeIcananswer,hislipscloseovermine.Withadeep,long groan,Iwrapmyarmsaroundhisneckandpressmybodytohis.I’ve missedhim,godI’vemissedhim.Hegripsmyneckanduseshisother handtopushatmylowerbacksohiscockisridingagainstmystomach, showingmejusthowmuchhewantsme.Histongueslidesintomy mouth,tauntingandteasing,whilehishandslidesupanddownmyback.

  Myclittightens,desperateforhistouch.Ineedhistouch,sowhenhe pullsaway,allIcandoiswhimperhelplessly.

  “Youranfromme,”hesays,flickingmybottomlip.“Youdidn’t thinkyouwouldjustgetawaywiththat,didyou?”

  Ibitemylipandstareathis.Big,full,andwetfromourkiss.Iwant them.Iwantthemonmybody.Iwantthemonmypussy.Iwantthem insideme,aroundme,onme.Marcusgripsmychin,forcingmetomeet hiseyes.Hisbrowngazesearchesmyfaceamoment.“HowwillIpunish you,sweetgirl?”hemurmurs.

  “Don’tmakemewait,”Iwhimper,grippinghisshirt.“Please.”

  “Letmethinkaboutit,andwe’llseewhatIthinkoftopunishyoufor runningoffwiththatlittlehottemperofyours.”

  Ibitemylipagain.

  “Stopbitingyourlip,Sierra,orI’llhaveyouonyourknees,with themaroundmycockinseconds.”

  “Maybethat’swhatIwant.”

  Hegrowlsandit’salow,deepsound.Hetakesastepback,andhis fierygazeturnstome.

  “You’remine,doyouunderstand?Beforeweleavethisroom,Iwant usbothtounderstandsomething.Oncewestepoutthisdoor,youbelong tome.Thinklongandhardaboutthat,Sierra,becauseonceyou’remineI won’tletyougoagain.Iwillcherishyou,loveyou,fuckyouand pleasureyou,butIwon’tshareyou.Isthiswhatyouwant?”

  ImeethisgazeandIknowinthatmoment,it’sexactlywhatIwant.

  MarcushasalifeIwasfrightenedofandthoughtIcouldn’tlivewith, untilIwasforcedtolivewithouthim.Idon’twanttodothatagain.I steppedintothiswithhim,I’llstepoutofitwithhim.Heawakens somethingdeepinsidemethatIcan’tfindwithanyoneelse.Iwon’tgive itupforanyoneoranything.We’lldealwithChaynetogetherandI’ll stepintohisworldbesidehim,becausehe’sexactlywhatIwant.

  “Itis.”

  Hestepsforward.“YouknowwhatIam,Sierra.Iamadominant.I don’tliketoshare.Idon’tlikepeopletouchingwhat’smine.Ifyou’re withme,youneedtoacceptthat.”

  “Ican,butitgoesbothways.”

  Hestrokesafingerovermycheek.“I’monlyyours,Sierra.I’vebeen onlyyourssincethedayIlaideyesonyou.”

  “AndChayne?”

 
; “We’llsortitouttogether,butuntilthen,wecan’tbepublic.”

  “Iunderstand,”Iwhisper.

  “Now,gobackoutandenjoythatparty.I’llhavealimoreadytopick usupateightsharp.Ihopeyou’reready,sweetgirl,becauseI’mgoingto makeyouwishyouneverranfromme.”

  Theheatinhisgazefrightensmealmostasmuchasthethreatinhis voice.

  “Youwon’thurtme,willyou?”Iwhisper.

  Hestepsforward,cuppingmycheekinhishand.“HaveIeverhurt you?”

  Ishakemyhead,swallowing.“No.”

  “Thenyoualreadyhaveyouranswer.Now,shallwe?”

  Ihookmyarmthroughhisandinasmallvoice,Iwhisper.“We shall.”

  CHAPTER3

  SIERRA

  “Whathappened?”QuinnaskswhenMarcusandIwalkoutandhe goesbacktohisgroup,butnotbeforegivingmeaheatedlook.

  “We…ummm…”

  “Ohmygod,didyoufuckhiminthestorageroom?”Quinngasps.

  Iletoutanervous,loudgigglethathassomepeopleturning.Marcus turnshiseyesmywayandgivesmeadevastatingsmile.

  “No,”Iwhisper.“Wetalkedand…Ithink…Ithinkwegotback together.”

  “Youthink?”Quinnsays,hismouthclosetomyear,sonooneelse canhear.

  “Yeah,Ithink.HetoldmeI’mhisandthathedoesn’tliketoshare.

  Hetoldmehe’saskedChaynetoleaveandhe’sgatheringprooftomake surethingsdon’tgosourforhimandthenhetoldmeheneverleftme, thatitwasmewholefthim,beforeheevenhadachancetotellmehis choicewasmade.”

  “Awsee,youjumpedaheadofyourself.”

  “Yeah,anyway,wearekeepingitunderwrapsfornow.IfChayne findsoutwe’restillseeingeachother,itcouldmaketheprocessharder.”

  “Mylipsaresealed.”

  “I’mgoingwithhimtonight,hewantstoseeme.”

  Quinnwaggleshiseyebrows.“Oh?”

  “DoyouthinkI’mjumpingbackintoofast?”Isay,feelingmychest growheavy.

  “Onlyyouknowthatanswer,Sierra.Onlyyouknowifyoucandeal withthenextfewmonths,becausetheywon’tbeeasywithChayne.If youcandealwithit,thenno,Idon’tthinkyou’removingtoofast.I’ve seenyouinthepastfewdays,andI’veseenhowyou’vebeenwithout him.”