by Abigail Agar
Victoria could tell that she did not really have a choice in that. Her father wanted it; it was very clear that her mother wanted it, and Thomas did too. Her dream life in the countryside started to fade; she could feel it slipping through her fingers at a much too rapid pace.
“Of course.” Polite and graceful as always, Victoria answered in the way that a lady would. “That would be lovely. It is always nice to have guests.”
“I shall take you now,” the Duchess said. “We shall get dressed for lunch.”
Victoria was already dressed in an appropriate way for eating, but she allowed her mother to drag her away regardless. She wanted to see what was happening between her father and Thomas in the hope that she could control it, but it had not worked out that way. She felt more out of control than ever before. She hoped that some time apart would give her the chance to calm down.
“Oh, he is such a wonderful man.” The Duchess was much too pleased. She thought that Thomas seemed like a very nice gentleman, and she was happy for him to be the man that her daughter ended up with ... and not just for practical reasons. “I do like him very much.”
“You do?” Victoria whispered fearfully. She did not like the joy in her mother’s voice; it terrified her. The happier she was, the less likely Victoria was to get what she wanted. She needed that life alone in the countryside and had been daydreaming about it for a long time. She could not allow this obstacle to get in the way. “You like him?”
“I think that he is a very nice gentleman. Of course, it is obvious that he is more used to life in America than here, but he has the makings of a man who can be proudly seen in society.”
The idea of spending time with Thomas in the public eye left Victoria’s emotions everywhere. Half of her liked the idea of everyone seeing her on Thomas’s arm; she knew that people would be jealous, but at the same time, she did not want Thomas to change one bit. She did not want him to be like all the boring English gentlemen. Also, she did not want to get involved with any of the London society events because she wanted to live in the countryside.
“I suppose so.” Victoria could not deny her mother’s statement; she agreed with it, but that did not mean that he was right for her. “He will make a wonderful husband for someone one day.”
The Duchess span Victoria around and stared deeply into her eyes. She wanted her to understand that the next thing she was going to say would be very serious. “Victoria, the lady that he wants to marry, is you.”
“Has he said that?” Ice cold bolts of terror raced through her system.
“He has not said it, but he would not be here if that were not what he wanted. He will ask your father for your hand in marriage soon enough.”
Victoria felt dizzy, and it seemed that her mother could sense that. The Duchess grabbed onto her daughter’s arm and led her up to her bedroom where she would get her dressed into something even nicer than she was already wearing. She still clung tightly to the belief that while Victoria was hesitant now, she would soon thank her for pushing her into this. Once she had spent some time with Mr Jones and had gotten to know him better, Victoria would be happy that she had not subjected herself to a terribly lonely life.
“I believe that you should wear your lilac coloured dress.” She ploughed forwards, disregarding Victoria’s obvious shock. “And make sure you put on your best fitting corset. You always look wonderful when you get the hourglass figure.”
Victoria did not want to go along with this at all; all she wanted to do was collapse onto her bed and weep at the hopelessness of her situation, but she nodded and agreed regardless. As her mother dressed her, without asking for the assistance of a handmaiden, Victoria did her best to work out what she wanted to come from today. She did feel a lot of things for Thomas, and she did like him so much more than she ever had done anyone else, but was she really willing to give up her dreams for him? Could she be a society wife, attending events silently on her husband’s arm, popping out children until she had produced a suitable heir? Even with Thomas, none of those things sounded appealing. It just did not suit her personality at all.
I shall have to find a way to get him alone, she decided forcefully. Victoria thought that the best move for her was to speak to Thomas, to tell him how she felt so that he would finally understand. If she made him understand that it was not him she resented the idea of, but the idea of being a wife, if she told him of her plans to live in the countryside alone where she could spend her days free and writing, instead, then he would back off. He was a wonderful person; he would get what she meant. Even if he did not like it, he would help her, she felt certain. There was nothing that her father could say if Thomas decided that he did not wish to wed her after all, and even her mother could not be upset. It was the perfect plan. I shall get Thomas alone and get him on my side. Everything after that shall be easy.
By the time the Duchess had moved on to styling Victoria’s hair for lunch, she felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders; she felt freer and more in control. Even a smile burst onto her lips at the thoughts in her mind. Of course, it would not be easy to get some time with Thomas by herself because her parents were likely to hover and want to watch her every single move. Still, she would do it somehow. She was determined to make it work somehow. She would see how the afternoon progressed and find an excuse.
The Duchess stepped back and examined her handiwork. She had worked hard on Victoria to make her look her best, which had not been easy since it seemed that Victoria’s mind was somewhere else entirely, but she was pleased with what she had achieved. It would be impossible for Thomas not to fall head over heels in love with her daughter now ... or at the very least want to marry her.
“You look incredibly beautiful,” she insisted while gently rubbing Victoria’s arms. “Mr Jones will be very lucky if your father allows him to marry you.”
“Thank you very much, Mother,” Victoria replied calmly. “Thank you very much for your help. Shall we make our way downstairs to see how long our lunch shall be?”
“Yes.” The Duchess grew hopeful at Victoria’s change of mood. “Let us do that.”
Chapter Twelve
Sitting around the dining table felt really uncomfortable. Even as the chatter burst around her, Victoria felt nothing but awkward. She did not feel ready to join in with the chatter, and thankfully no one included her in the conversation. Her parents were so swept away by Thomas that they barely even noticed her. She could have not gone to the dinner at all.
The idea of getting Thomas alone was still at the forefront of her mind, but she was not sure how to make it happen. She assumed that once they were all back together, an idea would pop into her head, and the excuses would simply come rolling off her tongue. So far, her brain remained completely blank, which Victoria found incredibly frustrating.
Thankfully the opportunity came to her, making her life easy.
“You have a lovely home,” Thomas commented rather loudly, almost as if directly for her. “I would love to look around it. You have some wonderful artwork on the walls.”
“Oh, yes, I shall show you around once we are finished here,” the Duke replied happily. There was nothing he loved more than people complimenting his home, especially when it meant that they noticed his wealth. “I have some wonderful pieces upstairs ...”
“I could show him,” Victoria piped up. She knew that she was taking a risk being this brave, and she just hoped that things would go to plan. She was counting on her parents being so keen for her to spend time with Thomas that they would not question her motives. “If you would like?”
She gave Thomas a meaningful look, hoping desperately that he would pick up on her meaning. Victoria was not convinced that her message got across, but Thomas did agree with her which essentially was the same result. It helped her to breathe a lot easier at any rate.
“That sounds wonderful, Lady Victoria.”
Thomas was not sure if this was something deemed appropriate, but since it was not h
im who suggested it, he felt certain that it was fine. He glanced nervously towards Duke Turner to try and gauge his reaction, but the smile had not slipped from his mouth just yet.
“That is fine.” He clapped his hands together gleefully. “Why not? You two can take a tour of the home, and I will ensure that we have drinks waiting for us afterwards.”
Victoria and Thomas nodded in unison, neither of them trusting themselves enough to speak. The idea of being alone together made them both very anxious in different ways. Thomas feared he would not be able to keep himself back once he was alone with Victoria once more. He had lost her once and did not want to lose her again. For Victoria, this would be the second time in her entire life that she had been alone with a man, which was terrifying enough, but she also had a lot to tell him without anyone overhearing them. The idea made her tremble.
They ate the rest of the lunch in relative silence, each of the people around the table experiencing their own emotions, and by the time the meal was done, and the house staff had come to collect their plates, Victoria was almost bouncing off her seat she felt so ready to leave. The anticipation was simply too much. She needed to have this finished now.
“Would you like to go now, Mr Jones?” she asked, probably acting wrongly as she pushed to go. She just hoped that her father would assume that it did not matter since Thomas was American and did not understand English traditions. “I can take you for the tour ...”
“Yes.” Thomas rose rapidly too. “I would like that. Let us leave now.”
As they left the room, the Duke and Duchess shared a look. Both of them believed that this was Victoria starting to like Thomas. They assumed that both of them were getting exactly what they wanted. Duke Turner was surprised when he found himself almost as happy as his wife at the idea of his youngest daughter remaining living nearby. Of course, he wanted her to wed someone; it was the normal thing to do, and he did not want his family to stand out at all, but it was so much more than that. He also liked the idea of having his daughter close where he could continue to watch her growing up. He had not realised how much it would hurt him to have her out of reach until now.
Once Victoria felt that she was out of ear shot enough, she let out a very tense breath of air. She felt all of her senses return rapidly, whooshing over her, cooling her down.
“Oh, my goodness,” she gushed without thinking too much of it. The words simply fell out of her mouth. “I am sorry about that. It was terribly uncomfortable, was it not?”
“I do not know about that. I had a rather good time. Your parents are wonderful,” Thomas replied with a chuckle. “They are unlike anyone I have ever met before, but they have treated me well.”
Victoria panicked about this for just a moment, she was concerned that her family was strange ... but then she remembered that her parents were English which was probably strange enough.
“Well I am glad,” she said with a smile. Now it was time to move on with the plan, to progress her life in the way she wanted. “Now do you know what part of the house you would like to see first?”
“I do not mind; I am more happy to be spending some time with you. I am not concerned with where we are.” His words churned Victoria up all over again. She could hardly stand it. Why was he so lovely to her? It made all of this so much harder to deal with. It was already going to be challenging to say the things that she needed to. “You take me where you would like to go.”
Victoria figured that her safest option was to take Thomas out into the gardens where she could guarantee a lot more privacy. Without saying another word, she walked towards the back door with Thomas not far behind her. She could feel the heat of his body, which made her tremble.
Victoria moved through the lush, green grass, towards the centre of the garden before she could relax. There were flowers starting to bloom, emanating a fresh, welcoming scent which she inhaled deeply. When she turned around, she was shocked to see Thomas standing in front of her holding a folded piece of paper. Something about the sight sparked intense fear inside of her.
“What is that?” she asked while taking one small step nearer to him.
“It is something that I found in your home. Something that I believe belongs to you.”
Victoria’s heart hammered painfully against her ribcage; she gulped down the thick ball of emotion that lodged itself firmly in her throat and rubbed her hands together while she tried to work out how best to answer that question. “What do you mean it belongs to me?”
“This is a story.” Her heart dropped down low; that was not what she expected to hear at all. “I found it in your father’s office. I am terribly sorry that I picked it up; I just did not believe that it was something you wished him to have.” Thomas held it out to her, and with a shaking hand, Victoria took it. “I am sorry if that is presumptuous, I did not mean to overstep any boundaries ... I guess I sometimes get a little protective, even if it is not wanted.”
Victoria shook her head, trying to blink back her tears. She felt betrayed by absolutely everyone in her life. Not only had her father seen her writing, her mother probably had too, and now Thomas. It was supposed to be a secret; no one was supposed to know.
“Did you read this?” she asked with a tremble in her tone. “Did you look at it?”
“I did,” Thomas replied slowly as he sensed that this was clearly a sensitive subject. “It was wonderful; I did not know that it was possible to write so well. I mean, I have read some books in my time, but your work was wonderful.”
Even the compliments did not do anything to calm Victoria; she found herself in such a state of panic it was unreal. This had completely knocked her off her feet and made her forget everything that she was supposed to say. This was her private work, the words that she wrote only for herself. She did not intend for anyone ever to read them ... particularly without her knowledge. It felt awful that these people she thought she could trust had completely ruined her life.
“I do not wish you to be here any longer,” she told Thomas coldly, completely forgetting her plan. “I wish you to leave and never return.”
“But you cannot mean that.” Thomas was shocked. He did not understand it; he thought that Victoria had a real talent. He sensed that there was something special about this lady the very first time that he set eyes on her, and now he knew just what it was. She had a creative brain that was so exceptional he wished that he could share it with the rest of the world. “We have something special, Lady Victoria. I would not have sought you out otherwise.”
“I wish you had not.” Venom laced every single word. Without even meaning to, Victoria took her anger at her parents out on Thomas too. She knew that she could not confront them about it, not without having the challenging conversation that she truly did not want. “I do not want you here.”
She hoped that by repeating the point she would ensure that Thomas really understood how serious she was, but he still did not seem to get it. His expression remained searching as if he was looking for something in her that he could use to change her mind.
“You are not welcome here any longer, do I need to make myself any clearer?” One single tear trickled down her cheek, which only angered her further. The last thing she wanted was for Thomas to know how much he had upset her. “I do not know what you wish for me to say.”
“I do not want you to say anything.” Thomas moved dangerously close to Victoria, almost as if he was testing her. Simply to prove that she would not be pushed about, Victoria remained where she was. “I just wish for you to listen. I want to tell you how beautiful you are, how special you are, how talented I think that your writing is. I know that you do not wish to hear it, what I cannot understand is why.”
Victoria did not have a suitable answer for Thomas, and she knew it, so she spun on her heels and stormed off further into the gardens. A red rage had covered her, blurring her vision, so she did not realise that she was anywhere near the horse stables until she stood behind them.
“Victoria!” She
wanted to weep more when she realised that Thomas had followed her. Why would he not understand that she needed some space right now? “Victoria, please.”
As he caught up with her, he rested his hand on her hip as a way to build a connection with her once more. He knew that it was there, all he needed to do was find it ...
But that was not what happened, not exactly; instead, his touch transformed the heat between them. It turned from anger to passion in almost the blink of an eye. Victoria’s insides were stripped raw into something much more exciting, but just as dangerous.
Then, without waiting for her permission, Thomas dipped his head down, and he crashed his lips into Victoria’s all over again.
Chapter Thirteen
I should not be doing this, Victoria thought decidedly as she moulded into his body, this time reacting with her heart rather than her head. The last time that Thomas kissed her, she panicked, but now she had fallen against him and was kissing him back. The heat that surrounded them as they argued had changed for the better, and just for a second, she decided to enjoy that. I should not, but I am.
The question that flew through Victoria’s mind as she circled her hands around the back of Thomas’s neck was what that meant about her. She had never been one to break the rules before; she had always been a good girl. But ever since the concept of being married cropped up, she had done nothing but. It was not that she intended to break the rules; it just continued to happen anyway.
Now, she was kissing the man that she was supposed to be asking nicely to leave her alone.
Her heart raced, the butterflies flapped, and Victoria felt like she was floating on air. It was not fair that kissing Thomas felt so utterly wonderful, especially when it was something that could potentially ruin her plans and her reputation forevermore. Why did the danger never stop her?
“I am sorry,” Victoria gasped as she tugged herself away. “I did not mean to kiss you ...”
