My Favorite Mistake

by Wendi Zwaduk

  “That’s business.”

  “You’d have to settle down with a woman in order for me to see the relationship side of you.”

  “You’re the longest relationship I’ve ever had.”

  “We aren’t really a couple.” She laughed and squeezed his hand. “You made up a story about me being your fiancée and we slept together three times. That’s not much of a relationship.”

  “We’ve had sex four times,” he corrected.

  “A day and a half of trying to be more than friends.”

  “Fine, but in this last day and a half, we’ve been through more than a lot of people. Besides, the thing about you being my fiancée wasn’t supposed to be a farce.” He pulled to a stop in front of her building complex. He might have lived in a fancier building, but he liked being able to park closer to her actual townhouse. “We’re here.”

  “Thanks. I’ll be a minute.” Molly climbed out of his car. “I need to stop by Remy’s first to grab my keys.”

  “I’m not sitting out here that whole time.” He killed the power to the engine and opened his door. The sunshine warmed his skin, but not like when Molly held him. He followed her into the building and to Remy’s door.

  Remy answered and eyeballed Austin. “Funny seeing both of you here. Come on in.”

  Austin started into Remy’s townhouse, but his phone buzzed. Christ. “I’ll be right there. Let me get this—whoever keeps calling won’t leave me alone.”

  Molly nodded. She and Remy disappeared into the apartment. Austin strode over to the short staircase and peered out of the window as he answered the call.

  “Hello?” He shoved his free hand into his pocket. “Who is this?”

  “You don’t recognize my number?”

  Austin gritted his teeth. Iris. He should’ve known she’d call—not once, but close to fifteen times. “I didn’t. I’m sorry.”

  “Well, now you know,” she said. “Seems you’re hard to reach.”

  “I am when I’m not at work.” He wouldn’t get nasty with her but he wasn’t up to being her buddy. “Did you need something?”

  “Other than your tight little ass in my penthouse? Yes. I have an offer for you,” she said. “One you can’t refuse.”

  “I’m not so sure about that.” He looked back at Remy’s door. Either he hadn’t seen Molly leave, or she was still in there. Fuck.

  “The more I look at your pictures, the more I agree with you about Ms. Neff’s work. It’s fantastic. Did she mention she’d talked to the models?”

  “No, I lied because I didn’t want to get into it with you.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn’t have time for this. “What’s your point?”

  “No need to get bitchy with me,” she snapped. “But she was rather engrossed in their mundane chat. She probably left with one of them. God knows those guys will fuck anything in a skirt.”

  He resisted the urge to correct her about Molly. Right now he just wanted to get off the damn phone. “You said something about Molly’s photos.” Maybe a little redirection would get the conversational ball rolling.

  “Yes. If I contract her as the principal photographer, are you interested in doing the modeling for the Aura fall campaign? She’d be photographing other models, in addition to you, and there would be other photographers there, as well. The financial gain for you would be substantial. Five thousand for each of the three sessions.”

  “Hold up.” He opened his eyes. Today wasn’t about business talk—he was supposed to be having fun down on the beach with Molly. “I can’t speak for Ms. Neff, but I would consider doing some modeling.” Fifteen grand would cover his bills for two months, with a little extra left over. “But only if she’s my photographer.”

  “Discuss things with her. I can’t seem to get in touch with her. Not good if she’s going to be a professional.” Iris sighed. “The faster you let me know, the faster we can get things going.”

  “Yes, ma’am. I’ll see what I can do.” He hung up on her, knowing full well he was being rude. Screw it. His heart hammered. Fifteen grand was more than three months’ salary at CDL. A thought occurred to him. If Molly was taking the photos, what would her cut be? She’d better be paid handsomely. He’d worry about that later.

  He turned on his heel and headed down the short hallway to her townhouse. If she wasn’t there, then he’d try Remy’s. He knocked. “Molls?”

  “It’s open,” she called.

  He tried the knob and opened the door. Molly stood in the middle of the living room with her back to him. She’d brushed and curled her hair but had gathered her tresses in another ponytail. Her jeans contoured to her frame like a second skin. When she bent over, his mouth watered. Damn, she had a nice ass.

  “Is your call finished?” She finished tying her tennis shoes and looked back at him. “Anything important?”

  “It was, but I don’t want to talk about it right now. We’re supposed to be going on a date.” He offered his arm. “A real date, not a contrived fancy dress bullshit thing.”

  “You’re so sweet.” She shook her head. “Let me grab my sweater and we can go.” She picked up the cardigan she’d slung over the back of the careworn couch and shoved her phone into her back pocket. She wound her hand around his arm. “I’m ready.”

  “Cool.” He didn’t say anything as they headed down to the parking lot. He had so much he wanted to tell her but needed to sort out how to say it. Christ. He could scare her away, make her hate him or bring them closer together—if he didn’t fuck things up.

  “I know you’re trying to be sweet so we can have a good weekend, but I can’t not say this. I keep expecting this sweeter side of you to disappear. I hope it sticks around, because I like it. But you’ve got a track record. You get close enough to build up emotion and then disappear when things get tight.” She allowed him to open the car door for her again. “That’s bad, though, isn’t it? I’m an awful friend.”

  “No. I deserve that.” He rounded the trunk and ended up behind the wheel. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a dick.”

  Molly toyed with the thick silver band she wore on her middle finger. “Since we graduated from college, you’ve only ever taken enough of a personal interest in me to keep tabs on me. Other than the times you’ve needed me to bail you out or to serve as a pick-me-up, I don’t seem to mean much to you. Now we’ve had a crazy fun night together that was like before. I’m not sure how to feel—happy or to expect it to all fall apart.”

  Jesus. He’d been a dick to her. A few of the times he’d called her to come to the bar because his then-date hadn’t worked out came to mind. He expected her to fix things, but she had no control over the situation. He wanted her to be his backup and available, but he’d treated her like crap. He clenched his fist tightly. Damn it. He’d fallen head over heels for her, but instead of saying how he felt, he screwed her over.

  “I hate feeling used, but I’m addicted to you.” She sighed. “God. I’m nuts. I’ve got to be. I know I’m going to get hurt but I keep happily snatching up the breadcrumbs you leave for me. I want things to be more but I know there’s a dead end coming. Always a dead end.” She didn’t look at him, but he could hear the cracking in her voice and knew she wasn’t far from coming apart. How she’d managed to stay strong all that time amazed him.

  He hated himself for stringing her along. Hated himself for not telling her how he felt a long time ago, and hoping she’d agree to the photo shoot. He wanted her to shine and wanted to be the man at her side. He also wanted to try his hand at modeling. A dull ache built behind his eyes. He was fucked up—not sure of what he wanted and unable to explain himself.

  “Sorry. I’m ruining our date and it hasn’t even started yet.” She wiped her face. “I’m even crying. I’m a mess.”

  She wasn’t the problem. He and his past decisions were the issue. He hated what he couldn’t change and wished he knew how to fix the future. First things first, he needed to get a few things out of his system.

 
“You never should’ve married Linc,” he blurted. He’d wanted to tell her that all along but hadn’t found the right time. Somehow, he doubted right now was the best moment, but the words tumbled out. He didn’t regret speaking his mind, though.

  “You could’ve mentioned that a whole lot earlier—like before I went through with it.” She faced him. Her cheeks were ruddy and her eyes a bit puffy from crying, but she still knocked his socks off. She folded her arms. “But that’s you. You don’t clue me in until after the fact.”

  She was right. The moment she’d married Linc, he had known she’d made a mistake, but he’d been so wrapped up in his own life that he’d kept his mouth shut. But part of him had been jealous of Linc. The guy hadn’t deserved Molly. Austin had known they’d never make it, but he wasn’t sure he’d be a good match for her either. What made him think now he could be what she needed?

  “Got any other bombshells you’d like to drop?” she asked. “I’m raw but I’m listening.”

  “I was always jealous of Linc. He had someone special—you.” Austin reached for her and laced his fingers with hers. He needed to touch her. Needed her reassurance. “He liked your free spirit but couldn’t handle it. You closed up because of him.”

  “It’s hard to let loose once you’re all tense like that,” she whispered. “But thanks for being honest.” Tears shimmered in her lashes and the blush on her cheeks accentuated the blue of her eyes. “I don’t know how to relax.”

  “You did pretty well with it last night.” He kissed her knuckles. “You allowed yourself to have fun and so did I. We made a good team—with the campaign and in bed.” Hell, having her around made his life brighter. She knew how to bring out the best in him. He’d work on relaxing her as long as she wanted because he needed her in his life.

  “True.” The corner of her mouth lifted in a smile. “You’ve ruined sex for me. You’re just that good.”

  “Nah. You’re pretty awesome already. I’m arm candy.” He drummed his fingers on the armrest. Although he’d made a breakthrough with her, he had a hundred questions and wanted answers. Did he deserve the answers? Not really, but wanting and deserving hadn’t stopped him before. “What did Linc have on you that you stuck around that long? You said he cheated. Why not leave his ass high and dry as soon as you found out?”

  “Well…he was my first—kind of.” She shrugged. “I’m serious. I had, like, no experience until him.”

  Austin frowned and held her hand again. “I thought Reyland was your first. You two were tight and he told everyone about you and him in your bedroom.”

  “Uh-uh. He chickened out and drove me home.”

  “But he told everyone—” Austin didn’t finish his statement. He knew what he’d been told, but as he gazed into her eyes, he knew the truth. Well, part of the truth anyway. “Then what happened?”

  “He lied and I didn’t correct him because I didn’t want to be mean.” She rested her other hand on top of his. “He seemed so proud of what he’d done—what everyone thought he’d done—and I didn’t want to steal his thunder. It worked out. The guys who wanted to get in my pants because they thought I was a virgin left me alone and the others simply ignored me because I wasn’t gorgeous like Joann.”

  He disagreed with her assessment. He’d kept most of those guys at bay and had refused to allow them to hit on her. He’d been a jerk, but he’d thought he’d known what had been best for her. Unfortunately he hadn’t been able to prevent the Linc fiasco.

  She pulled away from him and grabbed the door handle. “Let’s go for a walk. It’s a nice day and I need to move around.”

  “Sure.” Austin left the vehicle and locked it then fell into step beside her. He stuffed his hands into his pockets. He wanted to hold her, but she kept her arm between them. When she wanted to get closer, he’d be ready. He noticed a couple at the bus stop. The guy held on to his girlfriend and they were completely absorbed in each other. Austin wished he had the same with Molly. He glanced at Molly and a thought occurred to him.

  “Wait. Linc can’t be number one.” He paused. They’d slept together before she’d fucked Linc. He knew so and cherished the memory of their first time. “I came before Linc.” The sex had been frantic but good.

  “That’s true. You were my first time, but he was my first relationship. I thought when I was with Linc we were making love, not fucking. Then I was with you the first time. It was fumbling in the dark and awkward because I didn’t have any experience.” She covered her face with her hands. “I was so goofy back then.”

  “You were fine. I liked it.” Correction—he loved being with her. “Everyone needs to start somewhere.”

  “You started at perfect.” She patted his thigh. “I was so out of my league.”

  “Never.” He draped his arm around her and held her close. “You just needed to bloom.”

  Molly sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. “You asked why I stuck around with Linc. Truth? I thought I could love him enough to convince him to stop cheating. If I stayed strong and put up with his crap, maybe he’d see I was worthy of him. Looking back, I see he was the unworthy one, but I wanted my marriage to work.”

  “Molls.” He loved her tenacity. The odds could be stacked against her, but she always refused to give up.

  “Everything changed the moment he mentioned kids. I refused to bring a child into a situation where one parent can’t stand the other parent’s job and work partner, let alone the other parent can’t keep his dick in his pants.” She clutched Austin’s arm. “He hated you so much and wanted me to stay home. I like being a homebody but I need something to do.”

  “Sounds like a winner.” He gritted his teeth. The more he learned about Linc, the more he wanted to rearrange the bastard’s face. His heart bled for Molly and for his own stupidity. “Why didn’t you tell me all of this before? I’d have helped.” He liked to think he would’ve helped. He’d never cheated on his various girlfriends and couldn’t understand why anyone would, especially on Molly.

  Molly chuckled. “You sound so noble, but it’s a joke. I know you and you wouldn’t have done anything. It didn’t involve your dick or Joann and eventually Carole. Remember? And besides, if I spent time with you, Linc went ballistic.”

  He bit back another growl. He’d been the world’s worst friend. Not that her ex-husband had been any better. “He didn’t trust you.”

  “No kidding. I’ve only ever slept with three guys in my life, but he was convinced I’d been with way more. Christ.” She laughed and collided with him, stumbling forward. “Would you believe he hated you because you were competition?”

  “I believe it.” He steadied her and rubbed his cheek on the top of her head. “Who were the other two? Linc being one and me being another.”

  “Joe Handleman,” she whispered. “It was one time and not that good, but yeah, him.”

  “I’m in an elite group,” Austin said. He sounded like a prick but he rather liked knowing there hadn’t been many men in her bed.

  “You always were special.”

  He caught the snarky tone of her voice and didn’t mind. He’d take all the tongue-lashing she could give him in order to make up for the things he’d done in the past.

  “Special competition.” She tugged Austin forward. “Let’s head back.”

  He stopped walking and stared at her. “Wait. Linc knew us all in college. He knew I was involved with Joann then Carole. How’d he realistically think I was competition? Once you hooked up with him, I behaved. We didn’t flirt like we always had and I’m not a cheater.”

  She bridged the gap between them and grasped both of his hands. “You know that and so do I, but Linc thought he knew everything. When I wasn’t fucking you, he was convinced I was having sex with Remy.” She shook her head. “I’ll be honest. I never stopped hoping I’d get a chance to be your girl, but I never said anything like that to him.”

  “Molly?” He couldn’t believe what she’d said but desperately wanted her words to b
e true.

  “I never stopped thinking you could be the one.” Molly tried to pull away from him, but he refused to let go. Her cheeks tinged red again and her eyes sparkled. “Austin?”

  “Maybe I am the one.” He certainly wanted to be. He gazed into her eyes but he swore she saw straight through to his soul. He’d bare everything to her. No one else mattered—no jobs, no other women, nothing except Molly existed.

  Molly sighed and eased away from him. “As much as I want this to work, I know the truth. You’re a mistake and this was a mistake. All of the times we’ve had sex were—mistakes.” She shook her head. “I can’t do this.” She started away from him and threaded her fingers into her hair.

  “No.” As she put space between them, his heart sank. His world seemed to be falling apart. “No, babe. None of this was wrong.” Being with her was beautiful, peaceful…destined. The goddamn cosmos had finally lined up and allowed him to have the chance he’d always wanted with her. No fucking way he’d give up now.

  “I know you. You’ll get bored or hold out just to prove me wrong. You’ve done it before and told me about it—maybe not with me, but I know your track record.”

  “I could surprise you.” No ‘could’ about it—he’d shock the hell out of her.

  “I doubt it,” Molly said. “Ever since college you were the guy everyone wanted but I could never have. Being friends with you was good, but I wanted more. I saw all those other girls with you and wished I was them. Then Aiden reminded me I was one of the guys. That’s when I knew.”

  “Knew what? If you wanted to date me, you should’ve said something.” He pressed his lips together. He was getting her to talk and snapping at her wouldn’t help his cause.

  “You never saw me. I disappeared as soon as your girlfriends showed up.” Her voice cracked and she whipped around to face him. “I was the chunky friend who made you laugh and was willing to take you in after your date imploded, but I wasn’t good enough for you to ask me on a date.”