Bridge to Nowhere

by Yvonne Whittal

  Dear heaven! Megan thought despairingly. It's no wonder he has such a disgusting opinion of women!

  'Perhaps your sister has simply been unfortunate in her choice of men,' she suggested charitably, but Chad's short bark of cynical laughter dispelled her theory.

  'I'm more inclined to think that the men were unfortunate in choosing Matty, and I mentioned something to that effect when she phoned me yesterday afternoon.'

  He had, without realising it, assuaged Megan's curiosity about the woman who had called the day before, but at the same time she recoiled inwardly from his statement.

  'Have I shocked you?' he questioned her as if he had sensed her withdrawal, and she shook her head.

  'I think you and your sister must be two very unhappy people, and I feel sorry for you.'

  'I don't need your pity, Megan.' His face was a forbidding mask as he glanced at the slim gold watch strapped to his lean wrist and signalled the waiter. 'It's ten-thirty, and you wanted to have an early night.'

  Megan's mind was in an unhappy turmoil when they left the restaurant a few minutes later, but the night air washed over her, cool and refreshing, and she tried to relax in the blessed silence of the bushveld which was disturbed only by the chirping of the crickets in the undergrowth.

  She had angered Chad, she knew that, but his anger seemed to desert him as swiftly as it had risen when they walked along the path which led to their bungalows. They did not speak, nor did Chad make an attempt to touch her, but there was a subtle change in the atmosphere between them which was making her intensely aware of his tall, muscular presence beside her. It was odd, but it was as if every part of her body had suddenly been alerted to his maleness, and this strong physical attraction between them unnerved her. The woman in her had never responded like this to any other man before, and… please God… she did not want to waste her feelings on a man like Chad McAdam.

  She had left the reading lamp switched on in her lounge, and Chad stood directly in the shaft of dim light that shone out on to the stoep through the parting between the partially drawn curtains. His eyes glittered with something suspiciously close to laughter when he took her key from her to unlock the door, and Megan had a horrible suspicion that he had cut in on her thoughts in much the same way he so often cut in on her telephone calls.

  'Are you going to invite me in?' he asked, and she was still searching for a polite way to say 'no' when his hand in the hollow of her back propelled her inside.

  Don't panic! she warned herself, feeling as if Chad had isolated them from the rest of the world as she heard him close the door behind them. She had felt safe with him in the restaurant, but to be alone with him like this was quite a different matter. She had been alone with him before in this very room, and…!

  'I must thank you for a pleasant evening,' she said, thrusting aside the memory of the havoc he had created with her emotions, and trying desperately to appear calm and natural, but her voice sounded as awkward as she felt at that moment.

  'I'm glad you enjoyed it.'

  Megan turned her back on his smiling appraisal to put her evening purse down on the low, circular table. Her mind was searching frantically for something to say which would ease this odd tension in the air between them, but the words seemed to remain lodged in her throat when she turned to face him again.

  His eyes were lit with a strange fire, and they were raking a slow, sensual path down the length of her slender body, lingering on the hollows and soft mounds that stamped her a woman until she had the curious sensation that she was standing naked before him.

  'Don't look at me like that!' she rebuked him, her heart beating so hard and fast in her throat that her voice sounded choked.

  'I think you have a beautiful body,' he smiled sensuously.

  'Stop it!' she hissed furiously, walking away from him, but he was beside her in an instant, his hands on her shoulders spinning her round to face him.

  'You're blushing,' he murmured incredulously, raising one hand to brush the back of his fingers against her flaming cheeks.

  'I don't know why that should surprise you,' she retorted stiffly, his touch igniting a new kind of fire inside her.

  'I thought blushing was a forgotten art.'

  Her blue gaze held his accusingly. 'You say that as if you think it's a practised art!'

  'Isn't it, Megan?' he demanded cynically, his fingers trailing lightly across her throat, seeking and finding sensitive areas which, until then, she had not known existed and sending little shivers of pleasure cascading through her. 'Isn't it all part of that game of sexual intrigue between a man and a woman?'

  'I don't know what you're talking about,' she replied, trying to ignore the sensations he was arousing by focusing her attention on the collar opening of his white shirt, but it did not help her much when she found herself staring at the start of that dark mat of hair on his chest.

  'Don't pretend with me, Megan,' he laughed harshly, releasing her, and allowing her to breathe a little easier. 'The game you're playing is familiar to me, I've played it too often not to recognise it, but you're playing it by a complete new set of rules, and I admit that I'm intrigued.'

  Megan was convinced that she must look as confused as she felt at that moment, but through the mist of her confusion came the knowledge that Chad was blind to everything except his own arrogant convictions.

  'I don't play games, Chad,' she assured him with a calmness she was not experiencing at that moment. 'I don't play games, but I do try to pattern my life according to a certain set of rules, of which honesty is the most important.'

  'You weren't honest with me the other night.'

  'No, I wasn't,' she admitted readily, lowering herself into a chair when her legs threatened to cave in beneath her and clasping her hands nervously in her lap. 'I was afraid to admit the truth, and I acted out of character in a moment of panic.'

  'What were you afraid of?'

  'I was afraid of you, but mainly I was afraid for myself,' she confessed, watching him through lowered lashes as he seated himself in a chair close to hers and stretched his long legs out in front of him. 'I've never met anyone like you before,' she added with inherent honesty, 'and I'm finding it rather overwhelming.'

  Chad's eyes were stabbing chips of steel beneath the sardonic lift of his eyebrows. 'Would you care to clarify that statement?'

  'Do I really have to spell it out for you?'

  'I would appreciate it.'

  Megan's insides were knotting with anxiety, and she wished she had had the good sense to keep her mouth shut, but it was too late now.

  'I admit that, from the first moment I saw you, there's been an undeniable attraction—an awareness—if you like, but I'm also repelled by your contemptuous opinion of women,' she explained, her colour deepening, and her glance wavering from his to settle for a moment on her tightly clenched hands in her lap. 'I'd like to spend more time with you to get to know you, but I also consider that unwise when I think of where it might eventually lead.'

  'It can only lead to a better understanding between us, and what's wrong with that?'

  Chad's mockery did not escape her, and anger rose like a hot tide inside her which she had difficulty in suppressing. It was obvious that he wanted to make this as awkward as possible for her, but she was equally determined to bring one very important matter to his attention. Her heart was beating out a nervous tattoo against her ribs, but her expression was controlled and her glance was cool when it met his.

  'By your own admission you have only one use for a woman, and that's in your bed, but I'm not going to bed with you, Chad,' she said quietly. 'Not now, and not in the foreseeable future.'

  He observed her in silence for a moment, his eyes narrowed and piercingly intent, then he smiled derisively. 'This is certainly a new angle, but I think I might enjoy the novelty of a chase.'

  'You simply don't understand, do you?' She rose agitatedly to her feet and walked a few paces away from him before she turned to look at him with a spark of
helpless anger in her wide blue eyes. 'It's totally inconceivable to you that there could be women in this world who need to love and know that they're loved in return before they'll go to bed with a man.'

  'Love!' His lips curled back in a snarl against sharp, white teeth. 'Love is a disease of the mind, Megan, and if you're weak enough to succumb to it, then it makes you vulnerable to whatever pain the object of your love wishes to inflict upon you.'

  'Love is a two-way commitment, Chad. It involves fidelity and trust, and—'

  'Fidelity! Trust!' His expression was contemptuous as he drew in his feet and stood up. 'To expect those two qualities from a woman would be as foolish as to come between a hungry lion and its prey.'

  If Megan had not been so angry she might have sensed the underlying bitterness to his scathing remarks, but her compassionate nature was stunted in this instance by a strong desire to shake him physically.

  'I really do feel sorry for you, Chad,' she said coldly, facing him across the width of the small coffee-table with her hands clenched so tightly at her sides that her nails bit painfully into her soft palms. 'You've incarcerated yourself behind an impenetrable barrier of misguided notions. You've shut yourself off emotionally, allowing life itself to pass you by, but take care that you don't wake up years from now to the discovery that you can add loneliness to your long list of grievances.'

  'That's a very pretty speech.' He applauded her mockingly as he stepped around the table towards her. 'You forget, however, that while there's money in the bank there'll always be women who'll be willing enough to sell themselves in order to get their slice.'

  'You're speaking to the wrong customer, Chad,' she retorted distastefully. 'I don't need a slice of your bank balance, and I can't be bought.'

  'Life has taught me that everyone has their price.' His mouth was curved in that twisted, cynical smile she hated so much, and, taking her unexpectedly but firmly by the wrists, he applied a tugging pressure that made her stagger up against his hard body. 'What's yours, sweet Megan?'

  She stiffened against him, his body heat and the clean male smell of him an assault on her senses that left her temporarily without the power of speech, but it was anger that finally loosened her tongue.

  'Find someone else!' she instructed coldly, making a futile attempt to free herself from those steely fingers while she stared up at him with eyes that were stormy with the mixture of unfamiliar emotions stirring inside her. 'Find someone who'll play your game of sexual intrigue to the rules you're accustomed to, and leave me out of it in future!'

  'It's too late for that.' Chad lowered his head to hers, but in turning her face away to avoid his kiss she exposed her throat, and his warm mouth trailed fire across her sensitive skin, arousing a spate of unwanted sensations which seemed to snatch her breath away. 'The more I see you, the more I want you, and I know that, given the opportunity, I could make you want me too.'

  His tongue sought and found the sensitive hollow behind her ear, and the shivers of pleasure cascading through her made her realise just how vulnerable she actually was. It was a shattering discovery, and one which she was determined to keep to herself.

  'No, I could never want—'

  'Don't deny it, Megan,' he interrupted her throatily, nibbling at her earlobe before his mouth shifted lower to that little pulse which was beating so wildly at the base of her throat. 'Be honest with yourself, and with me, by admitting that it's true.'

  His fingers had slackened their punishing grip on her wrists, giving her the opportunity to jerk herself free, and she backed a few hasty paces away from him, but there was no escape from the burning intensity of those pale, probing eyes. They were making a mockery of her denial while that erratic pulse at the base of her throat was making it only too obvious that she was not physically immune.

  'Oh, yes, Megan, I could make you want me as much as I want you at this moment,' he repeated, his gaze resting on the agitated rise and fall of her breasts beneath the soft silk of her evening dress. 'I know you're finding this difficult to accept under the present circumstances, but at some future date I'm going to take a great delight in proving it to you.'

  His confidence frightened her into immobility, and she stared at him, her facial muscles as achingly rigid as her body when he raised his fingers to his forehead in a mocking salute and left.

  Megan was not sure whether it had taken minutes or hours before she became aware of the fact that she was shaking from head to foot as if she had a raging fever. She was shaking to such an extent that her teeth were chattering, and she sat down heavily in a chair, wrapping her arms about herself until she could control the tremors, but she could not stop the frantic thoughts racing through her mind.

  It was true! There was no sense in denying to herself that the feelings Chad had aroused in her were the first stirrings of desire. She had never experienced anything like this before, and it drove her into a state of panic knowing that she could have these strong physical yearnings for a man whom she was not even sure she liked.

  'What am I going to do?' she cried out aloud, but the only answer she received was that of an owl hooting eerily into the stillness of the night.

  The fashion show the following day was a resounding success which rocketed Megan's sales and left her with a batch of orders for more. The models were still mingling with the guests on the green, sloping lawn surrounding the pool when Megan and Alexa helped them-selves to a glass of wine and a snack. They sought refuge from the afternoon sun beneath a thatched shelter and, sinking wearily into vacant chairs, they quietly congratulated each other on their joint effort.

  'I'm so relieved that it all went off so smoothly,' Megan sighed, catching sight of her parents chatting to Bryon and Frances where Bill Hadley's staff were discreetly clearing away the ramp which they had erected for the fashion show.

  'The credit is yours for all the hard work and planning you'd put into it before the time.' Alexa smiled at Megan over the rim of her long-stemmed glass. 'I could do with someone like you in Johannesburg.'

  'Are you offering me a job?' Megan demanded with amusement dancing in her eyes, and Alexa shook her head ruefully.

  'I could never offer you the scope you have here for your creative abilities, but I do need an assistant who would be capable of taking over the reins when I'm not there,' she explained in her soft, clear voice. 'I'm twenty-six, Megan, and I can't afford to wait much longer to have the children both Revil and I want so badly, but that means I shall have to find someone to take most of the work load off my shoulders, or I might be faced with the unpleasant task of having to sell the modelling agency.'

  'You'll find someone suitable, I'm sure.'

  'I think that's one of the things I like most about you, Megan. You're always so reassuringly positive.' Alexa's smile faded a moment later, and there was an unmistakable flicker of concern in her eyes as her glance met Megan's. 'You're one of the nicest people I know. You're loyal, sincere, and trusting, and you always give so generously of yourself. Don't let anything—or anyone—ever change you.'

  Alexa was being subtle, but Megan did not need to be psychic to know that her relationship with Chad formed the basis of Alexa's concern, and it was not simply curiosity that spurred Megan to make use of this opportunity in an attempt to find out more about this man who had disturbed her so intensely since their first meeting.

  'How well do you know Chad McAdam?' she questioned Alexa, holding her breath in anticipation, but a veiled look shifted across Alexa's expressive face.

  'He's one of Bradstone Promotions' most valued clients,' she replied, being deliberately evasive, and amusement lifted the corners of Megan's mouth.

  'I was speaking from a personal point of view.'

  'Well, I…' Alexa gestured vaguely with one slender hand and looked away. 'I'm afraid I don't know him very well at all.'

  A burst of jovial laughter drifted across the pool towards them, but Megan was only vaguely aware of her surroundings and the people milling about them. She was
studying Alexa's averted face intently, and she knew somehow that her friend was not telling her the truth.

  'You know something, but you don't want to tell me,' she voiced her convictions quietly, and Alexa sagged in her chair with a faint but audible sigh of resignation on her lips.

  'Your powers of perception are still as sharp as ever, Megan,' she remarked, her smile tinged with guilt, but her expression sobered the next instant, and a look of distaste flashed across her beautiful face. 'News about Chad McAdam has reached me through a myriad grapevines, and I have as little faith in gossip as I have in certain newspaper reports. They can become twisted and distorted along their way to whatever medium they intend to reach.'

  Nervous anxiety gripped Megan's insides and ignited a spark of doubt as to the wisdom of what she had instigated. 'Is it as bad as that?' she asked hesitantly. 'What you've heard about Chad, I mean?'

  'That depends on what you want to believe.'

  Those words had an ominous ring to them, and an unfamiliar tightness settled in Megan's chest. It was as if a giant hand was gripping her lungs, making it difficult for her to breathe, and she was suddenly afraid of what she was going to hear when she realised that she had finally broken through that barrier of resistance which Alexa had erected the moment Chad's name had been mentioned.

  'Chad has been labelled something of a womaniser in certain circles,' Alexa began, crossing one shapely leg over the other and frowning down at her hands which she had laced together in her lap. 'His good looks and his wealth have women falling all over themselves to get his attention. He can have his pick, but he's reputed to have nothing but contempt for the women who were foolish enough to fall in love with him, and there are whispers that some of them became suicidal after they were rejected.'