Fins 4 Ur Sins

by Naomi Fraser

  “Today?”

  “Why not?” This time I grin directly into his eyes. “Life’s too short to waste time when you know you want something. But it has to be after school. Mum will kill me if I cut class.”

  His thick eyebrows arch, mouth parts and the lights in his eyes dazzle me. “Thank you, Eloise . . . Oh, wait. Look—we’re here.”

  I stare out the window to the wide entry and gate with the sign Keeper’s Butterflies emblazoned in gold on an iron plaque. Little wooden butterflies in colours of fading blue and yellow offset the words.

  The bus roars getting up the curb. Gravel spits out from beneath the tyres, pinging against the underside of the bus. The fields are lush and green, stretching out in rolling hills. White and blue old Queenslanders come into view on a sprawling country estate with huge sheds. We drive alongside a circular garden, arbour, and creeping pink roses, then a wooden bench next to a myriad of flowers on thin stems.

  “It’s beautiful,” Lakyn says next to my left ear.

  His warm breath caresses my skin, and I shiver at the sensation. His body is oh-so-close to mine and my neck tingles. “Yes.”

  We go past what looks to be huge greenhouses with tall plants, but the walls are made of green nets and then the bus turns into another driveway. I glimpse diamond blue sea at the edge of the yard. Smaller habitats form a line of green netted boxes, and a worker traipses between them. Trees offer partial shade to the boxes, and the bus stops at the end of the dirt driveway, parking beneath an old gum tree.

  “Right, let’s get off,” Wacky calls. “Form a line everyone.”

  Lakyn grasps my hand before I can do anything, and his long fingers engulf mine. He gently squeezes and then touches my shoulder with his other hand. “Will you stay with me today? We can be research partners.”

  His voice slides across my ears in a daring invitation. I nod, unable to speak around the lump in my throat. I blink and rise from the seat, grabbing my backpack to stand in the aisle behind him. The space isn’t wide enough for two to stand side by side.

  Megan pushes me out of the way, and I nearly fall over my loose sole, but she stops when she sees my hand in Lakyn’s. Her gaze flashes up to my face and something unpleasant flits across her eyes. “Freak,” she mouths.

  I roll my eyes, turning away. “Whatever.”

  Lakyn immediately pivots to face Megan, blocking her with his body. He seems to grow two feet taller, towering over her. “I saw what you did in the window. Don’t ever talk to Ellie that way again,” he says firmly.

  Megan’s gaze flies above my shoulders to him, and her mouth drops open as her composure falters. She falls back a step and crosses her arms. “Fine.” She huffs and looks away. “No accounting for taste.”

  “Or lack of basic manners,” he returns.

  I giggle, trying to stifle the sound with my fist, but no luck. As we leave the bus single file, I stare at Lakyn’s tanned hand around mine and want to die of embarrassment. He’s cradling my hand like he never intends to let me go.

  16

  WE EXIT THE school bus, ready to investigate the butterflies, and the briny scent of the sea forces itself into my lungs in a wash of pleasurable pain. Somewhere in my memory, the fresh, salty stream lives, blasting against my face. Bubbles burst in my bloodstream. Excitable, tiny things, which curl my toes in my shoes and urge me to jump onto the sand and then allow the cool blue to sweep around my ankles.

  My feet move toward the edge of the rock wall, and the sand stretches white and pure, six feet below. I stall. Surely I can reach the bottom . . . but how?

  Lakyn touches my arm. “What’s wrong?”

  The cliff is not terribly high, just enough so that the fall will not kill me. I hope. The wind ruffles through my hair, caressing the strands from my shoulders.

  “Nothing,” I say in a low monotone, my hand snug in his warm grip.

  “Eloise,” he whispers, half serious, half a gentle reminder. “Be careful. Do not get too close to the edge.”

  I clench my bottom lip between my teeth and peer at our clasped hands and then back up to his face. Something terrible twists inside my stomach and my heart aches. “The sea.”

  Dark shadows flit across his face. “Yes, I know. It’s one of the reasons I tried to bring you along to the water in the first place. And now everyone else is here to witness your reaction, rather than just me. Drop your bag under the tree with the others and get your things,” he orders.

  I blink, and then turn back to the ocean, stunned by the blue before me. The wide, sweeping shoreline. A fly closes in on my ear, and I swat it away. Time and space are the same thing and freeze with startling clarity.

  “Eloise,” he barks. “You cannot swim today.” He releases my hand to palm my shoulder, holding me in place. “Maybe tomorrow. Especially, after the last boy drowned. Remember him . . . and I’ll need to get my gear. You can’t do it today. Please listen to me.”

  A ray of sunlight spills across the trees and the green leaves dance in ripples of gold. My heart swells. Cicadas burst into a frenetic buzz from the dry heat. Tingles in my bloodstream envelope my skin, causing an unremitting eagerness to shoot up my spine. A hand lifts something from my shoulder, plucking a weight from my back.

  I turn to look, dumbfounded.

  Lakyn grips the shoulder strap of my bag and pins me with his gaze. “You are not going in the sea without me,” he says. “I cannot risk it.” He points to the tree with all the other backpacks. “Follow me, I mean it.”

  I nod. He pulls open the zip and retrieves my science book and leaflet, then hands me a pen. I curl the items within my grasp, silently soaking up the scent of the sea. I don’t think he’ll help me get there. How can I get into the sea? Escape them all?

  “You don’t want to fail this class, right?” He grasps my hand again and tugs. “Follow me.”

  I stand there, unable to move.

  “OK.” He sighs, drops my bag and then stalks in front of me, blocking out the halo of warmth from the sun. His height overshadows the ocean, and instead of blue, all I see are black dots in front of my eyes.

  I blink and his warm musky scent wraps around me. He grips my shoulders and then bends his head toward mine. I shiver and focus in on his full bottom lip and his minty breath flowing across my lips. For a second, which feels like a lifetime, I don’t know what he’s doing, why he’s gazing at my mouth so intensely. Standing there for everyone to see, and I can’t even stop him.

  “Lakyn?” I murmur.

  “Hopefully, this works,” he whispers.

  Sunlight spills across his face, and then the light starbursts between our mouths. But just when I think he will kiss me, my heart hammers and he blows on my lips. His sweet, soft breath flows across my skin, and I stare into his eyes the moment his lashes flick open and the sunlight winks out between us.

  Fire bursts in my face. The sensation rushes up my skin, making every inch tingle. “What . . . are you doing?” I moan.

  He keeps blowing and I rear back, stumbling over my sole, pressing my fingers on my mouth to confuse the nerve endings. “Stop! What did you do?”

  He steadies me with an iron grip on my shoulders. “I snapped you out of it, Ellie.” Anger tosses in his blue eyes, like a stormy sea. “This is the part where you say thank you.”

  “Snapped me out of what?” I glare at him in irritation. “From looking at the sea? Are you mad? Why would you do that?” I ask incredulously, unable to help the hurt leaking into my tone.

  His sardonic blue eyes clash with mine. The colour reflects the clouds, forming a silvery sheen on top of the blue. He shakes his head and then pulls me over to the nets. “Forget about it. You’re supposed to be my research partner, remember?” He gestures to the small netted habitats. “I’ve never seen anything like this. Have a look and explain them to me.”

  I try to piece together what just happened and his reasoning, but I can’t. The water catches my gaze again and I stop. “I don’t want to look at the nets,” I m
utter, struggling to hide my bewilderment at his behaviour. His nearness is both exciting and disturbing. I think I’ll replay the moment his lips almost touched mine every night for the rest of my life.

  After a long pause, his voice barks firm and final. “This is not up for discussion.”

  “Says who? You?”

  A quirk of his lips morphs into a fully formed grin. He chuckles. “Don’t like that idea?”

  I fold my arms across my chest, levelling my gaze on him.

  The smile drops a little from his face and then he sucks in a breath. His eyes swim with an unspoken emotion, a darker blue, and the seriousness on his face speaks to the gravity of his plea. “Please. Come away from the water. Don’t go in there yet.”

  I blink at his expression and sigh, looking down at my shoes, wondering why I’m fighting so hard. Finally, I follow his lead and wander over to the habitat that holds caterpillars in the midst of forming cocoons. I squeeze past other students to get a glimpse of a wriggling black body. The puffy segments expand and then contract, rippling along the entire length of the caterpillar.

  I open my leaflet and begin to fill out the sections. I can’t figure out which end of the caterpillar is which. Head or tail? Then the blackness splits, the caterpillar jolts from side to side and a white opaque goo balloons out from the bottom. It looks like it’s vomiting a sac.

  “Oh, my God.” I moan a little.

  “Let’s move on to the next one.” Lakyn hurriedly pulls me along. “Write that bit in later.” He laughs again.

  In a clear bowl nearer the garden, large green leaves help hide greyish cocoons. There are heaps of them inside, all in various stages. Lakyn’s warm palm sends shivers up my arm and down my spine. A silly grin curves my lips, but I act cool, peering closer as part of the grey shell breaks. The green of the garden shines through the small diamond squares of net, and the leaves blur at corner of my eyes. Then thin legs push out from inside the hard shell, breaking free. Golden orange wings expand, and the cocoon snaps, releasing the butterfly.

  I suck in a breath. The wings flutter to the edge of the bowl, up to the roof. “Amazing.”

  Lakyn releases my hand and presses his palms against the net, his nose almost as close. “Ellie . . . what’s happening?”

  The butterfly pushes off and rests near his fingertips. His eyes widen and lips part. With all the other students laughing and talking in the background, Lakyn is utterly entranced. The leaves rustle in the trees around us, but his gaze never swerves from the butterfly.

  He suddenly pushes his fingers through the net. “Come here,” he croons.

  Wings flutter and thin legs push off, then the butterfly lands on his index finger. “I’ve never seen anything like this before.” His voice wobbles. “What do they do?”

  “Butterflies?” I ask, smiling. “Fly.”

  “Incredible.”

  “Yes.” I sigh at the mystery of life. “The butterfly was inside of the caterpillar the whole time. You just couldn’t see it.”

  He points to the other boxes of nets with black, furry caterpillars. “Inside of them? Then they transform into this.” He looks off into the distance, as though he’s looking at a memory from a faraway place.

  “Sometimes, I feel caught like that butterfly,” I say. “Like I’m stuck somewhere, and if I can get through that, the best part is yet to happen. Like this part is the dream.”

  “What will your best part look like?” he asks with a smile. The butterfly lifts up into the air and he follows it with his gaze.

  “It’s what it will feel like.” I stare at the rest of the butterflies trapped inside their cocoons. “It will feel incredible. Like what that butterfly must’ve felt bursting free.”

  “That day might come sooner than you think.”

  17

  THE BARBEQUE IS in full swing by the time Bethany and I jump out of Cal’s truck. His low-set house is lit up and yellow patches of light spill across the sloping lawn. Cheers and laughter echo along the street. Shouts ring out from the back and a screen door bangs. We wind our way past numerous cars along the street, the letter box with balloons tied to the post and then through the front door to the comfortable warmth inside.

  The aroma of grilled chicken and sausages permeate the air. Music videos play on the TV, although no one watches them. It’s background noise.

  Cal stops in the kitchen, reluctantly, to land a wet one on his mother’s cheek and then ropes a grumbling Bethany into chores.

  “It’s your party,” she says, with a deep scowl. “Do your own dirty work.” She huffs out a breath, getting all ready to do battle.

  There’s a guy at the party she wants to flirt with, and Cal’s just thrown an axe through her nefarious plans. Love that girl.

  “Please?” He rolls his eyes and laughs. “I would, but I have this cute little cousin who loves helping out. Beth?”

  She stalks off with a tray of olives, toothpicks, ham and a glare. He holds out his arm like a human forklift and takes everything his mother puts there. Marinated cocktail wieners, garlic bread, chicken wings and sausages.

  “I’ll help,” I say. “What can I do?”

  Cal’s mum turns to me with curious brown eyes. “Hello, you’re one of Bethany’s friends?”

  I nod. That’s me. Is this my new identity here? Who am I in this big world of ours?

  A friendly smile curves her over-wide mouth. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  “This is Eloise, Mum,” Cal pipes in on his way back inside. “Ellie to her friends.” He winks at me over another tray of steaming sausages and dances out the back door toward the buffet table.

  “I’m Meg.” Cal’s mum wipes her hands on her apron and grins at me. “That boy. Such a charmer. But yes, you can help. Thanks for offering. Grab the Pavlova out of the fridge, please. It’s cold enough tonight to have it sit on the table without the cream melting.”

  “Sure.” I don’t feel strange going into someone else’s fridge. What else does that say about me? The sight of food brings back wonderful memories. Family gatherings and my dad teaching me how to cook.

  The tablecloth outside is plastic and peppered with sunflower squares. Cal and Bethany do their snarky joke thing over the trays of hot food. People cluster by outside fires in steel barrels, and Cal’s mum is right, it is rather cold. But for the first time, I feel misgivings. I don’t know anyone here except Bethany and Cal. I’m wearing my blue jeans, black Vans and a light green jersey shirt. My hair flows around my shoulders, keeping my neck warm.

  Cal lives so close to the water, I’m sure I can smell the salty sea air. I place the Pavlova next to the dips.

  Will anyone notice if I take a walk to the water’s edge to investigate the bay?

  Carrie arrives then, and Bethany drags me over to a group of kids our age so she won’t have to do any more chores. “If Mum spots me, she’ll make me clean everything in the kitchen. Run,” Beth whispers in my ear.

  I laugh, but she quickly introduces me to her cousins and a few friends who are laughing, chatting, eating cocktail sausages and drinking around a fire. I ease into one of the spare seats, the cold night air to my back. Beth filches the seat next to mine. The flickering fire warms my knees, and Cal hands me and Bethany a Coke. I hug the icy can in my hands with a grin.

  “So what did you girls get up to today?” Cal grips the back of my chair.

  I jump. Just a little. Surprise must show on my face because Bethany stares at me. I shrug. Her gaze flicks to Cal’s hands, up to his face and then down to me.

  I can almost feel his hands; they’re so close to my shoulders. Heat seems to radiate off his skin. “We—” I swallow as a memory surfaces.

  “Need a smartphone,” Lakyn says during our shopping trip earlier today, adding a jump to his step. He pulls at his shirt collar, again and again. “A. Smart. Phone.”

  He hates anything restricting. How am I only noticing that now?

  A pop from the burning wood snaps me back to reality. “I went
shopping after school. Bethany came with.”

  Cal laughs and drags a fold-up chair closer to the flames. “What’s the damage?” He bites into the hotdog in his huge hand, and sauce oozes out. He chews thoughtfully.

  “Nothing. It wasn’t for us.” Bethany giggles because she’s already posted the photos online. “It was for this new guy at school, Lakyn. Mintest guy ever. He bought us lunch at the most dreamy restaurant, too.”

  Cal frowns, swallows. “A dreamy restaurant? Lakyn?”

  Of course, I rang Bethany the moment I got back to school, and we set up a time to meet Lakyn at the shopping centre. She’s my best friend. I will not do anything like that without her. The stop at the Indian restaurant surprised me as well. Lakyn told me he wants to try as many things as he can. But exactly why, he doesn’t say.

  There’s a lot I can tell Cal, but I don’t.

  “Who’s Lakyn?” Cal asks again.

  That’s what I want to know, too. Who is Lakyn? What is his story?

  “What can it do?” Lakyn sidles up to me as I enter my number and Bethany’s into his phone.

  She treks through the stands to find a proper case and a screen protector. Lakyn put five hundred dollars in her hand, and her eyes went wide for a split second, but then she disappeared. I didn’t expect her back until she spent it all on accessories.

  I hold out the phone in front of us and take a selfie. The picture zooms into the bottom, and I bring up the photo of our heads together.

  He sighs. “That’s incredibly clear. This technology is great.”

  “Watch this.”

  “Ellie. Elllliiieeee.”

  I look up at Bethany. “Yes? Sorry. What?”

  She frowns at me. “You’re off in La La Land. Been calling your name.” She shakes her head. “Cal wants to know why Lakyn was so excited about getting a smartphone.”

  Oh. “He’s an orphan,” I say. “Forgot you didn’t know. I guess he could never afford one before. Probably too embarrassed to admit it, you know?”

  Cal grumbles. “That’s tough. So you did your good deed for the day?” He grins.