Fins 4 Ur Sins

by Naomi Fraser

  Why does the water feel so much like home and it’s the complete opposite of everything I once envisaged for myself?

  Wet hair plasters my shoulders and cheeks. A deep rumble vibrates the ground beneath me and I glance at the storm front rolling in, all the more alarming because of the contrasting white haze before it.

  “The wind’s picking up.” Lakyn stands, water streaming off his wetsuit clad body. He reaches under my arms and carries me up the shore, but warns in a stern whisper as he sets me down, “Don’t let your tail leave the water. Just stay right where you are.”

  I nod, keeping my tail hidden, allowing the entire weight of my body to sink into the sand. “Don’t need to tell me twice.”

  A silhouette on the rocks catches my attention, and Ralph slides out from behind a casuarina tree, a gun in his hands. Not a spear gun. A real gun. Two more men from the hostel step out from the cover of trees only metres away. They hike to the Hyundai at Lakyn’s call. I sit up slightly, wondering what’s going on.

  “You did good, girl,” Ralph says, climbing down the rocks. The way he leaps so effortlessly makes me envious. “I was about to call out to hurry you up. I don’t like the look of this one.” He gestures at the sky, then back to Lakyn. “I’m glad I don’t know anyone who would be out on the water tonight. I have a funny feeling about this storm.”

  I stiffen and grind my teeth. My tongue tastes of dry ash. Immediately, images of Bethany and Cal spring to my mind. “I have to get to my phone. Quick. Get me out.”

  Lakyn returns and adjusts the gear on his back. Some spears splash into the water. He plucks them out. “I heard you call out. What’s wrong?”

  A sick, twisting despair eats at my insides. One of those spears is in my windpipe. “I can’t . . . get me up, please.” I claw my way up the sand, sliding the heavy, glinting tail behind me. My arms wobble, elbows strain and wrists ache. My tail is a thousand pound weight. No legs. I have no legs. I’m going nowhere. Trying to suppress the panic squeezing my veins, I slow my breathing. I don’t have the upper body strength for this and plop down, my elbows and cheek squishing into the sand.

  “Lakyn! I never told her, she’s in danger.” My heart pumps until I feel it on my tongue. Sand grits between my teeth.

  His grasp is firm on my shoulder. “They’re coming with the towels. Who’s in danger? Don’t come out of the water yet, Ellie. If people see your tail . . .” His gaze is suddenly fierce and piercing. “That will not happen.”

  The others race to the sand and wade into the water, splashing as they go, holding towels together to form a wall. Lakyn slides one arm under my tail, another around my back and then lifts me as though I weigh no more than the leaf he let go in front of my face. The men bunny-wrap the towels around my tail and focus on my fin. I’m still clutching the spear gun, but I feel heavy and confined.

  I have my bikini top on, but at least when my tail disappears, I’ll have towels to cover myself.

  Lakyn stalks toward the Hyundai while my teeth chatter in nervous dread. He shoots me a sharp glance. “We’ll get you dry first. Then you can explain what you meant.”

  I don’t answer, fear twisting in my heart. The moment I’m in the car, I grab my schoolbag, palm my iPhone out and call Bethany. The dial tone rings out. No answer. The taste of acid coats my tongue. I call again. Nothing.

  Heart thumping, I text her: Where r u? Answer pls

  Lakyn has a concerned expression outside the door as he rubs my tail. “You’ve gone white. Who were you trying to contact?”

  “Bethany.” I can’t seem to breathe properly, but I don’t mind about my lungs now. “She’s been investigating what happened to me. Cal’s her cousin. He took us both out on the water the other day to search, but this afternoon before I left school, she made some type of comment about going to see Cal. She’s not answering. I went to a party of his the other night. I just met him.”

  Lakyn straightens, his actions with the towel obviously forgotten. “She’s been searching?” His voice rings hollow. “Out in the bay?”

  “Yes, yes. Oh God, why didn’t I tell her? Do you think the sirens will know Cal and Beth have been helping me?”

  “If they’ve been out on the water with you, yes. The sirens watch—”

  “Bethany doesn’t know. She has no idea. I mean she knows about my chest and that I leapt off the cliff and died. But I could’ve told her about you and she never would’ve gone out in a boat. I should’ve just been honest with her.”

  He rubs the tears from my cheek with the pad of this thumb. “These guys will go looking for them. It’s too dangerous for you out there right now, Ellie. The sirens will try to lure you out any way they can. Even by using your friends. I breathed into you, so some part of me is in you. They won’t let you live.”

  “That’s what Ralph meant.” I study Lakyn, the slant of his golden cheeks and his spiky hair dark from the water. “They’re using me to get to you.” I swallow at the implications and his gaze meets mine in surprise. “Why?”

  He opens his mouth to answer, but Ralph slides into the driver’s seat, squishes the peak of his cap and lights up a cigarette, puffing out a cloud of smoke that stinks after the salty cleanness of the bay. “Dry yet?”

  I shrug and my tail glints in the light, a tight matrix of multi-faceted colours, light champagne, pale purple pink, white and light yellow. Rainbows of light shimmer from the crystalline scales, overlapping each other. I stare down at my opalescent colours, dumbfounded. Is this who I am? A strange being in an even stranger world.

  Is it weird that I’m happy I have a tail? Maybe. I smooth a hand over the dry, slightly rough scales. Pain rockets up my legs, and I throw my head back with a cry. Fire churns in my veins. I clench the sides of the seat, bits of ripped leather curling under my palms. “I hate this part.”

  “Just about there,” Ralph mutters. A loud shout echoes at the shore, and he turns, then narrows his eyes on Lakyn. “We’ve got visitors.”

  Lakyn frowns and wraps my tail up as if I’m an Egyptian mummy. He can’t manage to cover all of my tail fin and shoots Ralph a look. “Start the car. Get her out of here.”

  Ralph shakes his head. “Won’t do any good. They say they know her. That fella is holding a gun on the others.”

  Lakyn rakes a hand through his hair, then lifts my tail fin inside the car completely, checking to make sure nothing hangs out. Once I have my seatbelt on, he slams the door. He looks up and toward the shore. “It’s Bethany.” A thread of unease fills his voice and his body stiffens, his hand clenching the roof of the car. He pushes himself off and stalks toward the water.

  I can barely twist to catch a glimpse of a silver tinny floating near the shore. A hard rap on the passenger’s side window makes me jump, and I hold a hand to my heart.

  Bethany stands there, her eyes unreadable.

  I wind down the window the rest of the way. “I was worried about you,” I say, relief in my voice. “Were you out with Cal? There’s a storm coming.”

  She nods. “I know. We followed you.”

  Ralph chokes and splutters smoke all over the steering wheel.

  Bethany leans against the window, pushing her face past the frame and into the car. “I heard you scream, Ellie, and then they came with towels and carried you off.” She nods to the other guys and continues: “We couldn’t see you then. What’s going on?”

  “Aahhh . . .” Tongue-tied and not wanting to lie, because I’m so sick of lies, I stare at my lap. “You know how I jumped off the cliff?”

  “Sure.”

  “Well,” I lick my lips, “I was l . . . lured into the water again the other night. Someone was holding my ankle and wouldn’t let go. Lakyn saved me.”

  “What?” She reefs open the door and then squats. “Who had you? Are you all right? You’re a bit paler than normal.” Her gaze promptly roams down my body, stopping at the pearly tail fin peeking through the wet towels.

  I move my legs and the tail fin flexes.

  She
gasps. “Ellie.” Her voice croaks in disbelief.

  “Yeah?”

  “You have a . . .” Beth swallows and tries again. “A . . .” Her eyes widen and then flash back up to my face. She stands, steps back and then clasps her hands. With an alarming wobble, her eyes roll to white, and then she crashes to the ground.

  30

  “NOT THE USUAL reaction,” Ralph murmurs. “Fainting dead away. How much does she know?” Concern tinges his voice, but then he says, “Maybe she hasn’t been eating. You teenage girls—”

  I sigh, shooting him a glance. “Ralph!”

  He shrugs. “What? I’m just saying—”

  “Hey, Beth?” I lean out the car. Exhaustion slurs my words. “Beth, can you hear me? Wake up. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

  “Since you only found out yesterday, I’m sure she will forgive you, but Lakyn’s not gonna like this. Watch. The more people who know, the more danger to you. That boy is not about to let anything happen to you.”

  “They were investigating for me. I didn’t know what happened that night I jumped off the cliff. And they’re my friends.” A snaking sensation of dread twists its way up my spine, even though I know this is Bethany and Cal, two people I trust. They must have my safety in mind to follow me and hold up the hostel guys at gunpoint simply because they heard me scream.

  “Bethany!” I shout again.

  “Beth?” The sound of Cal’s footsteps thump along the ground, and he drops to his knees beside the car, picks up Beth’s head, then looks down at her with a frown. “Cuz?” He sucks in a breath and drops the gun. “What’s wrong with her?” His eyes flash up to me in the car. “Ellie, wha . . . ?” His gaze stops, focuses.

  I wait. Ralph waits. The storm rumbles overhead, and the scent of clean ozone blasts us all. Apparently, it’s not in the mood to postpone anything. The shouts die down nearer the water’s edge, and the quiet has me shifting in the seat, nervous tingles shooting up my spine. The hard knot of the bikini top digs into my back. Ragged edges of the worn leather seat scrape my palms.

  Cal’s gaze drags along the same route as Bethany’s, though slower, from my waist, along my tail, zeroing in on the tail fin and then slowly climbing back up to my face. Wet towels only hide so much, especially when the outline is in the shape of a mermaid’s tail. The darkness of the storm closes in, filling the air with an atmospheric menace.

  A crack of thunder rumbles in the sky, and an electrical charge makes my fingertips tingle. My tail vibrates. I close my eyes, opening them again while longing for the depths throbs in my muscles. I flex my legs and the tail moves.

  I want to go back into the bay, to heed the warning to hide from impending doom, but I need to get away from here. Sometimes you say more by being quiet, though; it’s probably only because I’m holding my breath.

  Cal’s face scrunches up and his eyes narrow with obvious confusion. “Why are you dressed like a mermaid? Swimming out in the b—” He looks at the water and stops. “Ellie?” There’s no mistaking the tremor in his voice. “What’s going on?”

  Lakyn stalks around the bonnet, his jaw hard, hands clenching and eyes shining like blue topaz. “She cannot discuss that with you. Ellie, shut your door.”

  “Listen, I don’t know who the hell you are.” Cal glares at Lakyn and turns to me again. “But I do know Ellie, and I’m asking her the questions. Why isn’t Beth waking up?”

  “She fainted when she saw my tail. Bit of a shock. My tail is drying.” My voice is gravelly and I sit straighter. “It’s OK, Cal. I’m not in any trouble. This is Lakyn.”

  “But . . .” Cal swallows, obviously not wanting to finish that sentence. “Why did you scream?” He glares at Lakyn again. “He wouldn’t tell me. Beth thought you’d be in danger.”

  “No. No danger. My chest . . . remember . . . I get pain. Put Bethany in the back of the car and climb in,” I say gently. “I’ll tell you more. You’re safe with us. We have to get out of this storm.”

  “This isn’t a storm.” Ralph flicks ash into his palm and rubs his hands together. “This one’s gonna be rough. I just saw some tree limbs fall. I don’t know but this has a feel of magic to it. I’m thinking squall.”

  Lakyn nods in agreement.

  “I remember.” Cal doesn’t budge an inch. “You were having trouble breathing. Did it hurt when you went swimming? You held your breath for a long time underwater, but I thought you shared his oxygen. We watched you for a while.”

  “I know. Bethany said. But no, no I didn’t share his oxygen. And Cal, I didn’t hold my breath, either.” I meet Lakyn’s gaze through the gap between the door and the car, not exactly asking for permission to confess, but willing him to be OK while I tell Cal what he deserves to know. “I breathed water. I can breathe in water,” I say clearly all the while looking at Lakyn, and a frisson of dismay crosses his eyes. The towels almost fall down my waist, so I might as well finish the job. I take a deep breath, hook my thumb under a layer of wet cotton and push them down my tail. “I didn’t mean to scare Bethany.”

  “If you say one word about this to anyone, I will lead the sirens directly to you.” Lakyn’s smile is predatory. “If you tell a single soul . . .”

  Cal sets Bethany aside gently, his focus on me. The way he holds up his hands to his temples and stares can’t be good. He pinches the bridge of his nose, rubs his eyes and then looks again. A quick shake of his head and his eyes open wider. Nothing comes out of his mouth for a minute or two. Fat raindrops splash on his nose, forehead and dribble down his cheeks.

  “I had to warn you,” I say, my voice shaking. “If you go back out in the water, you’ll both be in danger. This way you’ll believe and stay alive.”

  Lakyn stares down at me in shock. “Is that what you think?”

  Cal glares at Lakyn and growls, “What did you do to her, you bastard?”

  Lakyn lunges for him, but at my shout, he stops, chest heaving in and out, hands clenching into fists. “I saved her life,” he spits, with blue chips for eyes.

  Disbelief etches the lines around Cal’s forehead. He taps his fingers against his knee, falling into silence again. Bethany moans, and he shrugs out of his flannelette shirt and places it under her body, then wraps it around her middle. He’s wearing a white singlet underneath, and the clear outline of his muscles makes it obvious he works out. I can feel the heat of eyes piercing the back of my skull and glance up to find Lakyn looking at me.

  Our gazes meet, hold, lose focus. He steps toward me, walks around the door as if in a dream and then crouches by my side. “I have to hide you again,” he says. “We have to be safe, Ellie.”

  “Explain.” Cal’s tone is hard.

  The answers should come from me. The downpour buckets, though I’m sure Cal hears my shout of, “Get in and I’ll tell you!”

  Attempting small talk in the tiny Hyundai is harder than I realise once Cal climbs into the back with Bethany in his arms. Ralph starts the car and gets the engine warm. Cal and Lakyn are both soaking wet, and I turn on the heaters, ensuring the vents blow their way. “Hopefully that warms you up. Is your boat going to be safe?”

  Cal presses his lips together and doesn’t reply. For a while I think he won’t until, “The anchor’s down. I’ll find out when I go to pick it up again.”

  I cringe at his brusque tone, hoping I haven’t lost his trust because of my deception. I should have told them earlier. My reflection catches in the side mirror. The white in my hair shines brighter than ever before, holding a natural wave. I lick my bottom lip, tasting dry saline. The skin around my eyes glows, as though lit from within. My normally grey, storm cloud eyes reflect the light around me, like a preternatural hue of clear water on a hot summer’s day.

  Alive. I smile. I might not be completely human, but I’m alive.

  “Explain about the tail,” Cal snaps again, his voice tight.

  I look to him over my shoulder, though he stares at Lakyn stonily.

  “I found out that I was a m
ermaid yesterday. The night I jumped off the cliff, I was lured by sirens. You know the mythical sea creatures?” I sigh. “Well, they’re real. Lakyn saved me.”

  “OK. Let’s say I believe you. You’re taking his word for it that’s how it happened?”

  “You doubt what’s in front of your eyes?” Lakyn asks silkily.

  The tension heightens in the car. “I know what happened to my body, Cal. I saw a siren myself when she tried to drag me down, and again, Lakyn saved me. So yes, I trust him.”

  I feel more than see Lakyn relax behind me as his hand releases the back of my seat. Ralph presses the accelerator, and the car moves, but I suddenly slide across the leather, banging my hip against the door.

  “Hell.” Ralph thumps the wheel, and the tyres slip across a patch of sand. Rain hits the windscreen so hard; it’s difficult to see through the glass, except for the odd flying tree limb and flash of green. “Who has magic this strong? The king?” He presses harder on the gas. The wheel spins out of his hands, but he doesn’t stall the car and drives up a patch of grass, forging a new path around sparse trees. “Lakyn?”

  I hang onto the handle above the window and tense all my muscles, praying we avoid impact.

  “Why would my uncle travel through? It can’t be him.” But Lakyn doesn’t sound sure. “Many others from strong families can control magic, just not as well. There have been political rumblings lately as to who is the strongest. Other secret factions have been formed. The king, my father and I were the strongest combined, but now my father’s gone.”

  Ralph shoots Lakyn a cynical look. “And so are you.”

  “Ralph, look out!” I scream.

  He swings the wheel back, narrowly avoiding another casuarina tree. The car bumps, and the hard jerk lifts me off my seat. My head bangs against the roof and I slam back down.

  “Sorry ‘bout that. Hold on, nearly at the road.” The windscreen wipers beat so fast they look like they might fly off and have no impact on the rain clouding the glass.