Heart of the Nebula

by Joe Vasicek

  James thought about it for a couple moments. “I’m not sure, sir. I’d at least like to put another light-year behind us.”

  “Duly noted. We’ll give you another twenty-four hours.”

  It seemed strange to attend a meeting while sitting on a couch in Sara’s apartment. James glanced over at her and saw that she had pulled out a tablet to take notes. He wasn’t sure whether to feel embarrassed that he didn’t have one as well.

  “Now that we’ve reviewed the reports,” said the patrician, “let’s get down to business. We have only four or five weeks before we arrive at the rendezvous point outside of Zeta Nabat. We not only need to make sure that we can provide for the basic needs of our citizens during the voyage, but that we have the necessary resources to outfit the ramjets for the exodus. Do we have enough supplies on hand to follow through with the original designs?”

  “Unfortunately, no,” said one of the engineers. “When the Hameji attacked us, we were expecting a convoy carrying critical components. Without them, we won’t be able to build nano-smelters for industrial chemical synthesis, and our aquaponics units might take longer to bring online.”

  “How will that affect us?”

  “I don’t exactly know, sir, but—”

  “Then prepare a detailed report. The General Assembly should decide on colony ship captains within the week, so you can answer to them if I’m no longer in office. But the designs need to be finalized before we arrive.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “What a mess,” James muttered under his breath. Sara looked up at him quizzically, but he didn’t want to interrupt, so he pointed back at the screen.

  “How are our food stores?” the patrician asked. “Does anyone have an inventory?”

  “I do,” said a young woman wearing a warehouse worker’s uniform. “We have enough to comfortably feed the population for the next two months, but after that, our stores will probably start to run out.”

  “Two months!” someone interjected. “How did our food supplies get so low?”

  The woman held up her hands apologetically. “We were supposed to get more on that convoy.”

  “Then we’ll have to stretch it out,” said the patrician, the video feed returning to him as he retook control of the conversation. “As soon as we arrive, we should put as many people into cryostasis as possible. Towards that end, we’ll need to identify every citizen who is healthy enough to go into stasis, and distribute the population evenly for every ship.”

  “That’s something we can hand off to the General Assembly,” said Sara.

  “True,” said her father, “but we only have a few weeks until our plans need to be implemented. We need to prepare our recommendations now so that the General Assembly can consider each issue in a swift and orderly fashion.”

  “What about the ship captains?” James asked.

  “The General Assembly is considering that right now,” Sara answered him. “As of last hour, the leading plan is to randomly generate each colony ship roster, keeping families together, and have each group elect their own captain, who can then trade with the other captains for any specialists that they might need.”

  “It’s a good plan,” said the patrician, “but the captains will be too busy figuring out each ship’s personnel roster to prepare for every potential problem. Meanwhile, we need to make sure that when we leave the Colony, we have all the supplies and equipment that we’ll need.”

  It’s an even bigger mess than I’d thought, James realized. Just thinking about all the issues they’d have to work through was giving him a headache. What’s more, he was almost certain that he’d end up as a captain for one of the ships. The news broke yesterday that he was the one who had saved the Colony from the Hameji, and just as Sara and her father had predicted, the response had been overwhelming so far. Words like “hero,” “guardian,” and “savior” were popping up in almost every dispatch that mentioned his name.

  “Commander McCoy,” said the patrician, “I want you and Sara to prepare a database with the names of every citizen who is young and healthy enough to go into cryofreeze. Make those lists available to all the colony ship captains within a week of their elections, at most.”

  James frowned. “Uh, shouldn’t you put a nurse in charge of—”

  “We can handle it,” Sara said, cutting him short. She turned down the volume until he could barely hear what the patrician was saying.

  “What is it?”

  “Dad’s given us our assignment already,” she answered. “He won’t have anything more for us until after the meeting’s over.”

  “But—”

  “Trust me. I know how he operates.”

  James glanced at the nearly muted wallscreen, then back to her. “But what about the rest of the meeting? What if we miss something important?”

  She sighed. “Dad’s on the way out, James—can’t you see that? This is his last real act of authority before handing over the reins, and it doesn’t really count because it has no binding authority.”

  “What about the inner circle?”

  “Once we split up for our different ships, the office of patrician will be annulled and the shadow council will be meaningless. It will all be up to the captains then, until we arrive at Chira.”

  She reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently. Their eyes met, and he felt that she was trying to reassure him—or possibly herself.

  “Is this you wrapping me around your finger?” he asked.

  “No,” she said quickly. “I mean, it’s not what it looks like—not like how my father wanted it, anyway.”

  Still, she didn’t let go of his hand.

  “We’re going to be really busy over the next few weeks,” he remarked.

  “Yeah,” she said, smiling. “Busy together.”

  James’s cheeks blushed bright red. I suppose I should have seen that coming, he thought to himself.

  * * * * *

  Kyla woke up to the smell of freshly baked bread. In her semi-conscious state, it gave her a waking dream of wandering through a bakery. There were all sorts of breads and pastries there, of every size and type she could imagine. There were big round sweet rolls glazed in butter, braided rye bread with seeds all over the top, flaky fruit-filled croissants, kolaches with cream cheese and berries, and pigs-in-a-blanket with dark red sausage poking out at either end. Her mouth watered as she ran from display to display, trying to decide which ones to get or whether she should just eat them all. It was heavenly.

  Just before she came fully awake, though, she saw a girl standing outside the bakery window. She was small with black hair, dressed in rags, and looked unbearably hungry. Kyla tried to reach out to her, but the doors were closed, and the glass was too thick for the girl to hear her. The girl stared forlornly at the food that she would never get to eat, her lips quivering and her big, round, glassy eyes staring at the feast.

  Stars, Kyla realized. That girl is me.

  An instant later, she was lying in her bed, staring up at the blue-painted ceiling. She slipped out and followed her nose to the source of the delicious smell. Jessica was slicing a fresh loaf on the kitchen table, and the steam that rose out of it was absolutely heavenly.

  “Good upshift, dear,” said Jessica. “Why don’t you have a seat?”

  Kyla stepped into the kitchen and quietly took a seat across the table. Her pajamas clung a little, so she pulled them loose and kicked her feet absent-mindedly beneath her chair.

  “How did you sleep?” Jessica asked as she finished with the bread.

  “Good.”

  “I’m glad to hear it.” She pulled out a plate and placed two steaming hot slices on it. After buttering them generously, she handed the plate to Kyla, who all but snatched it out of her hand.

  “You’ve got a healthy appetite, I see. How about some eggs?”

  “Yes, please,” Kyla said between mouthfuls. The bread was every bit as soft and rich as the stuff from her dream. It was all she could do to keep
from stuffing it all in her mouth at once.

  As she ate, Jessica’s husband Adam came in. He was wearing the dark blue jumpsuit of a dockyard worker and seemed anxious, as if looking for something to do with his hands. He didn’t sit down, but instead walked straight to the food synthesizer and poured himself a cup of black coffee.

  “Hello, dear,” said Jessica as she hydrated the powdered eggs. “Any news on the colony ship rosters?”

  “The randomization measure passed the General Assembly just last night,” said Adam. “We should be getting our assignments anytime now.”

  “What assignments?” Kyla asked.

  Adam withdrew his coffee mug from the synthesizer and sat down at the table next to her. “The assignments telling us which ships we’ll be on. They’re keeping families together, so there’s no danger of us being separated, but it’s anyone’s guess as to who will be put with whom.”

  “How do they know how to do it?”

  “It’s simple,” he said after taking a long lip. “The computer pulls a list of names from the census database and organizes people into families. It uses a simple randomization algorithm to give each family their colony ship assignment. When the rosters have all been decided, each group will elect a captain, who can trade people off with the other ship captains until everyone is reasonably satisfied.”

  If I’d stayed in the lower decks, I probably wouldn’t be assigned anywhere, Kyla thought to herself. Even if she was in the census data, she doubted anyone would have come down to the lower decks to collect her, and even if they had, there was no way she would have come with them. She would have been stranded on the station long after everyone else had left.

  “Where is James going?” she asked.

  “Oh, he’ll be with us, dear,” said Jessica as she placed the hydrated eggs into the cooker. She keyed the machine to start and wiped her hands on her apron. “In fact, he’ll almost certainly be elected captain.”

  “That’s right,” said Adam, his face unreadable. “In every straw poll, James comes out on top.”

  Then we’ll be safe, Kyla thought to herself. James will see to that.

  She looked down at her plate and thought of the girl from her dream—the one who wanted into the bakery but couldn’t enter. How many people like her were starving while she had food on her plate? How many people were going to be left behind?

  Barely a moment later, Jessica pulled out the eggs and served a massive portion—almost half—onto Kyla’s plate. “There you are,” she said in her motherly voice. “Eat up!”

  Do I really deserve all this? Kyla wondered. She ate it, but her doubts weighed on her.

  Adam’s wrist console beeped. “Aha!” he said, his eyes lighting up almost immediately. “I’ll bet that’s our colony ship assignment.”

  “Put it up on the main screen, honey,” Jessica said, nearly as excited.

  Adam toggled his console, and the wallscreen above the table flickered into a list of names, organized alphabetically. Kyla skimmed over them, but nothing stood out to her. For Jessica and Adam, it was a very different story.

  “Look, dear!” said Adam. “The Nyes and the Hansens are up there!”

  “All of them?”

  “All except for their married daughters. And it looks like the Stewarts will be with us as well.”

  “Oh, that’s good. What about the McClaires?”

  Adam squinted. “I don’t see them. Do you?”

  “No, I don’t. I guess we’ll have to wish them well. So many people we won’t be seeing again.”

  They went back and forth for several moments, picking out the names of friends and paying even more attention to the names that weren’t there. Kyla finished her food and sat quietly, watching them.

  “What’s the big deal?” she eventually asked. “Aren’t we all going to the same place? Aren’t you going to see all these people again?”

  “Unfortunately no, dear,” Jessica answered. “We’re too old to undergo the cryofreezing process. But you’ll be able to go down, so don’t you worry, you’ll be able to see all these other people again.”

  “Is James going into cryo?” Kyla asked, ignoring Jessica’s attempt to reassure her.

  Jessica and Adam both looked at each other. The expressions on their faces turned suddenly serious.

  “James is young and healthy enough to go under,” said Adam. “Besides, the people are going to need him a lot more when they arrive at Chira than when we’re all sealed up on these colony ships. He’s probably going into cryo.”

  A sinking feeling grew in Kyla’s stomach as she looked them each in the eye. “But doesn’t that mean that you won’t see him again?”

  “It does, dear,” said Jessica. She sniffed and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. “But that’s just the way things go sometimes. We can’t control what life throws at us, only how we respond to it.”

  “But it hasn’t been decided yet, right? I mean, if we all get to vote on what we do next, that means we get to choose whether we stay awake or go into the long sleep.”

  “That’s right to some extent,” said Adam. “And for you, that choice is very much open. But for us, we can’t go into cryo—not when it would be better for someone younger and healthier to go down instead of us.”

  Just like someone else might deserve this food more than I do, Kyla thought. She tried to put it out of her mind, but it was too difficult.

  “I wonder if Lars will go into cryo or not,” Jessica mused.

  “Lars is coming with us?” Kyla asked.

  “That’s right, dear: Lars and all the rest of the Stewart family.”

  “And a good thing, too,” said Adam. “It looks like most of the centralists have been assigned to other ships. The patrician will be on the third ship—thank goodness for that.”

  “What does that mean?” Kyla asked.

  “It means that Adam won’t have to put up with politics he doesn’t agree with, dear,” said Jessica. “Now go get dressed—can’t wear pajamas all day.”

  Kyla rose from her seat and quietly returned to her bedroom. As she went, though, she couldn’t help but wonder whether she’d be going down in cryo—and whether someone else deserved it more than her.

  * * * * *

  “How’s your work coming along?” James asked

  “Pretty well,” said Sara, looking up from her terminal. “I’ve more or less got everyone ranked for cryo readiness, with two or three hundred special cases for the nurses to look at.”

  “So you can handle the rest, then?”

  “If you’re asking whether you can move on to your new duties as colony ship captain, then go ahead,” she said. “And congratulations on your election, by the way.”

  “Yeah,” James said absent-mindedly. The leadership position was looking to be a lot more difficult than he’d thought. Not only was he a captain of the ship in the military sense, but he was the highest ranking civilian leader on the ship as well—something like the patrician, but on a much smaller scale. Since he was supposed to be in charge of the civilian side, there were all sorts of things that he didn’t know how to handle. Sara had suggested that he focus instead on finding competent specialists and delegating most of the duties to them, but the randomization of the assignments had left several key areas where they just didn’t have anyone to fill the proper role. Consequently, he had to do a lot of personnel trading with the other captains, but that involved splitting families and causing headaches for everyone. Meanwhile, problems kept popping up left and right, faster than he could possibly solve them all. It was a mess.

  “James,” said Sara after a few moments of silence. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure,” said James, running over the names of the specialists on his roster one more time. If he traded Jackson for Sterling, he’d probably have to send Jackson’s wife and sister over as well. Sterling didn’t have any immediate family, so that meant he could ask Captain McClaire for one more—

  “James, are you listeni
ng?”

  He looked up from his terminal and saw that she was staring at him. “Uh, yeah, Sara. What is it?”

  She sighed and looked away. “I’m not sure how to say this, but—”

  “But what?”

  “You’re planning to go into cryo, right?”

  James frowned. “Yeah, of course. Didn’t you say the people would need me the most when we got to Chira?”

  “I did,” she said. “And I plan to go into cryo, too, but…”

  She bit her lip and looked straight at him, as if reading him for a sign that it was safe to continue.

  “What is it?” James asked. “Come on, Sara—you can tell me.”

  She took a deep breath. “Well, I know it’s silly, since we’ll both see each other when we wake up at the rendezvous, but just in case something happens, I’d like to be on the same ship as you.”

  “Why?” James asked, more than a little taken aback.

  “Because I don’t want us to be separated,” she said softly.

  He looked into her eyes and realized that this was a lot more than just a request for a personnel transfer. His stomach flipped, and he suddenly didn’t know what to say.

  “I understand if you don’t think it’s feasible,” she continued, looking away again. “You’ve got a lot of things to take care of that are more important than a personal request. But James—once we’re in the nebula, anything can happen. Who knows if we’ll all make it safely? And if I wake up and find you’re not there—”

  “Of course I can do it, Sara,” James heard himself say. “I’d be happy to do it.”

  Her eyes lit up. “You would?”

  “Definitely.”

  She leaned over and gave him a hug. James hugged her back, but he felt strangely distant, like a spectator in his own body. His heart was racing, and his stomach was doing flips, but his mind was strangely clear.

  “When all this is over,” he said, “when we’ve arrived at Chira and we’ve started the new Colony, do you have any plans?”