Co-ed Naked Philosophy

by Forest, Will

  “But don’t uniforms come and go over time, like a fad?” another student wanted to know.

  “Yes. School uniforms were popular in the 1950s, less so in the 60s and 70s, and started a comeback in the 80s into the 90s. But that’s just in United States public schools. Private schools are always more likely to require uniforms. In Latin America, Africa, and Asia, public school uniforms have been ubiquitous now for decades. In Europe they are very common as well.

  “But there are other kinds of school-related uniforms, like the ones Jacob mentioned, that have always been popular. These are sports uniforms, like the ones worn by the football team and cheerleading squad; concert uniforms, such as marching band outfits or choir robes; special activity uniforms, like scouting insignia or club t-shirts; and ceremonial uniforms: the cap and gown at graduation. What’s the difference? Why do these uniforms retain popularity?”

  “In sports you have to be able to know who’s on your team.”

  “If you have a sports uniform it means you’re part of the team, but you also have a number on your jersey that’s unique to you.”

  “Concerts and commencements are formal events. So uniforms seem appropriate.”

  “Sometimes uniforms indicate your level, like a pin in scouting or a varsity letter on your jacket.”

  “Very good. These reasons, either practical or ceremonial, support the popularity of such uniforms, even, you may be surprised to learn, among nudists. Now, why would nudists approve of uniforms?”

  “For the same reasons anybody else would.”

  “Of course you’re right, Jacob,” Dr. Saucedo laughed. “Let me rephrase that: Other than these same reasons, would nudists have any special reasons, given their endorsement of social nudity, to approve of uniforms?”

  A few moments passed before Lisa’s hand went up. “I don’t know, but isn’t nudism already a kind of uniform?”

  Angela smiled. “What do you think, class? Is it?”

  “The anthology introduction specified that uniforms are different than dress codes,” said Jacob. “I’d say nudism would qualify more as a dress code.”

  “Definitely. Just as restrictive as a party invitation specifying “black-tie” or “semi-formal attire.”

  “Maybe even more restrictive, since at least there’s a little leeway for color and style when it’s a clothing dress code, but there’s not much to do with a nude dress code. And some nudist places even ban piercings and tattoos. That’s actually a very strict code, now that I think about it.”

  “But nude bodies can experiment with color through body-painting, don’t forget.”

  Dr. Saucedo waited her turn, enthused by the students’ responses. “The results of my comparative research in the US and Sweden show that school uniforms do indeed help lower student’s anxieties about areas of concern such as their bodies, their grades, and their peer relationships, but that nudity does so even more. Nudity, more than uniforms or semi-strict dress codes, helps students feel better about themselves and their school-related environment and work, even though, paradoxically, there can be significant initial discomfort to school-mandated nudity on the part of students, parents, teachers, staff, and administrators.

  “When the Fri Skola ran its first nude year, some of the greatest supporters turned out to be teachers who had made the switch to required nudity while continuing to cover the same grade and subject. All agreed that students were more cooperative, more attentive, and more productive after the change. At least one reason for which this seems to be the case, as I’ve been able to show, is that the students perceive themselves less as collections of body parts, and more as whole persons in an organic and open collectivity.”

  “I’m convinced that this is a great system. But if it is so effective,” Lisa wanted to know, “why hasn’t it been more widely followed?”

  “The concept of nude education has been around in principle, if not in practice, for as long as human existence. So in a sense, it’s nothing new. But the Stockholm case is striking precisely because it’s contemporary. So recent, in fact, that my study, which will be out in print soon, is the first comprehensive analysis, quantitative and qualitative, of its productivity. The problem is that my study is also, inevitably, highly controversial in countries that tend toward fundamentalism in religion and politics, like the US, for example, or Iran, or Saudi Arabia. Even the Institute for the Study of Cognitive Development, which funded most of my research expenses and is going to help publish the results, has been extremely cautious regarding publicity.

  “What do you think? You are all senior education majors, about to graduate and enter into America’s schools as rookie teachers. Do you feel, from your experience in our own clothing-optional classroom environment, that nudity helps learning? Does it ultimately lower anxieties?”

  “I’d say the part about initial discomfort is certainly true, but now that we’re at the end of the course, I’d also say that the lowering anxieties part is true as well.”

  “Yeah, because by this point, the discomfort has shifted from how you feel when you take your clothes off, to how you feel when you have to put them back on again at the end of class!”

  “I don’t know if I can say that I’ve learned more in this course nude than I would have if clothed,” Jacob said, “but I do think that I’ve gotten to know my classmates better this way, which is its own reward, along with learning more about how my own body works. Appetite and exercise! And I also think the yoga, tai chi, and candles can play a large part in increasing students’ comfort levels, whether nude or not, because, like we’ve been saying, a greater or higher comfort level in the classroom leads to greater input absorption and processing.”

  “Fair enough,” said Dr. Saucedo. “Now, do you think that some US school or school system would be willing to accept the challenge of ‘nude body learning’?”

  “All we can do is try,” said Jacob. “You have tried, and Dr. Ross too, and so, at least we have your examples. Successful examples, I should say.”

  “That’s very kind of you, but think how controversial this has been on a college campus, where all students are adults,” said Dr. Saucedo. “Imagine the scandal if children were involved.”

  “It’d have to start with a few private schools here and there, and then maybe a public school system in a relatively liberal city or state, and keep growing out from there,” Lisa said.

  “You’re all going to get a copy of my report to arm yourselves with. There may be an agency willing to fund the testing of my results by setting up, somewhere in the US, a school like the Fri Skola. I hope that all of you, as students who have worked with me in this seminar, can have the opportunity to be involved in further research on nude body learning!”

  Stand on a Threshold

  “Today we’re going to discuss the portrayal of erections in art. There is no visual human physiological condition more indicative of sexual desire or excitement than an erect penis. Nipples become erect as well, it’s true, but they aren’t as big nor is the swelling as dramatic. Certain primates have visual cues to indicate female estrous, but these have long since disappeared in humans, if they ever existed at all. So the ability of the penis to change its size and angle is a visual indicator that, in combination with the newly upright posture of early humans, may have led to the desire to cover the groin in human societies, according to some historians. But this does not necessarily pan out in all historical contexts and depends largely on climate.”

  “Right, because aren’t there some groups, tropical tribes, who still wear very little clothing?” asked Alex.

  “This is true, although the concept of being clothed vs. being naked can still exist, because, for example, a man might feel naked without his penis string.”

  “His what?” asked Greg. “Is that like a jock strap?”

  “Good guess. Actually, I’ve got a picture of it here…let me just advance a few slides…Here, you can see it’s like a thin belt that holds the penis up against the abdome
n. Or a woman might feel naked without her dyes or body paint, as you can see in this next image.

  “Anyway, back to the erection. Let me go back a few slides…” The image of a sculpted satyr filled the screen. “The ancients, on both sides of the Atlantic and beyond, portrayed men, beasts, or other creatures with erect penises in statues and sometimes in paintings. Erections were thought to bring good luck, fertility, and prosperity. Sometimes it was enough to set up a cylindrical stone as a disembodied erection, something that came to be known as a phallus, which then applied to any erection in general.

  “In Hindu belief the phallus is called the lingam, and is always shown to be protruding from, not penetrating into, the yoni, or vulva, as you can see in this photo from central India. Its worship has been associated with the god Shiva. In modern psychoanalytical thought, the phallus came to represent the most important signifier, or meaning-bearer, since it can so generally and dramatically represent desire.”

  Dr. Ross advanced through a montage of various sizes of phallus-type stone monuments from Europe, India and southern Africa, and a pair of images of figurines—one sculpted in clay from the Andean region, the other carved from African ebony—with pronounced erections. Both cases showed bright red glans exaggerated in size.

  “Today, the photographic visual representation of a real erection qualifies as pornography for many people. As it is, and as we all know, the visual representation of a penis in its relaxed state is enough to upset many conservative, power-holding groups in this nation. Even an image such as this one, which as you can see is just a nude man walking outside with no erection, is wrongfully considered pornographic in many people’s estimation of the term. But pornography, of which I will not show you any example here, is not the same as nudity, I think we all know quite well by now. Nor is it the same as eroticism. Pornography is merely the graphic depiction of a displaced—or in other words faraway—sexual act, most often in some kind of violent context or at the very least with some sort of imbalance of power, as in a forced or coerced participation. Eroticism is the more inclusive term, because it implies any context that incites sexual desire.”

  “So, all pornography is erotic, but not all eroticism is pornographic?” asked Brian.

  “Right, at least potentially anyway, because not everybody would agree that pornography is always erotic. But yes, that’s the idea. So, once again, back to the erection. If the erection is the human physiological condition most indicative of sexual desire, is it erotic or is it pornographic?”

  “Well, I think by itself it could be erotic, but at the same time, there wouldn’t be much pornography at all without it,” said Renee.

  “I think there’s a big problem, which is that we associate erections only with sex,” said Terrence. “The fact is you can get an erection with the breeze, or with the waves at the ocean…you know, contexts that aren’t sexual.”

  “But do those contexts become erotic when an erection happens?” asked Dr. Ross. “What do you think, class?”

  “Potentially,” said Daphne. “An erection displays the potential for eroticism, like the way that desire indicates a want to be fulfilled.”

  “Well put! Oh, sorry, I didn’t see your hand, Heather. Did you have a comment?”

  “Yeah, I was going to say that I imagine if you get a hard-on with the waves, or whatever, you probably still want a release.”

  “That could be,” answered Dr. Ross, “although most of the time erections don’t end in orgasm or ejaculation. An erection presents a heightened sensibility that has its own purpose, energy, and pleasure.”

  “Yeah, erections can have other uses beside just sex,” said Alex. “For example, I had a girlfriend once who told me that if she woke up next to me at night, she would read me for time and temperature.”

  “How’s that?” asked Heather.

  “The more erect my, uh, penis, the closer it is to morning. And my balls, uh, I mean my scrotum, the tighter it is the colder it is. Of course, if her hand was cold that would throw everything out of whack!”

  “Breasts do the same thing,” retorted Heather. “Time and temperature, plus time of the month, if you know how to read them. I had a boyfriend who claimed he could tell if I was ovulating by my breath. Well, but that’s not all he was smelling…”

  Dr. Ross interrupted the general laughter. “That is a truly marvelous observation. How much have we ignored senses like smell and touch? Both Heather and Alex talked about ‘reading’ bodies. Maybe many of us are functionally illiterate in that sense. Now, speaking of reading, I have here your requested thoughts regarding erections, and I’m going to read from a few of them anonymously. Here’s the first one:

  ‘An erection is like flying. Well, there are many kinds of erections. Sometimes it’s like your penis is flying. Other times it feels like your whole body is flying, like a bird. And sometimes it feels like your body rises up into the air, as if your penis were a hot-air balloon lifting up the rest of your body. Now that I think of it, sometimes it really looks like that, for example when you’re lying down and your penis is flaccid and it starts to get hard, it can kind of flop or jerk around by itself as if it were inflating. But if you get an erection when you’re wearing pants, or underwear or a swimsuit, then obviously it’s not like flying. It feels like you want to fly and can’t until you take your clothes off. Oh yeah and your testicles move around, too. All the time. The scrotum contracts and expands with temperature change or emotional change.’

  Comments?”

  “That sounds awesome! I mean, about flying,” said Heather. “As a woman, I know what I feel like when I become aroused, and I think it feels like flying too, or swimming, or some kind of submersion and movement, you know?”

  “The word erection has always made me think of erector sets, or, you know, building something,” said Paul. “And now it makes me think of building some kind of flying contraption, something maybe a little fragile, maybe cumbersome, but when it works there’s nothing like it.”

  “Good, class, good discussion. Here’s another written comment:

  ‘An erection floats out away from your body, like it’s out there picking up an electric charge, like when you rub a balloon on your head and your hair stands on end. Maybe that’s why it feels so great when someone touches it, because then you feel exactly how far out into space you’ve grown, and you feel almost a jolt of electricity, like when you put your fingers on one of those lightning balls they sell at novelty stores.’

  “Wow! That’s really perceptive!” somebody said.

  “It’s true! Well, I mean, I think so,” Brian said. “It really does feel like that. I mean, I didn’t write that, but I agree. And I like that the person said an electric charge, you know? Because, well, like sometimes it just happens, out of the blue.”

  “What do you mean?” asked Dr. Ross.

  “You know, you get a hard-on, like, for no reason. Maybe even at the wrong time. And then, it’s just like someone flipped the switch and you can’t stop the current.”

  “Yeah, you can say that again,” said Terrence. “I’m sure every man in the room could tell a story about being uncomfortable or embarrassed because of a poorly timed boner.”

  “But the switch can go the other way, too, you know,” Greg added, “like when the phone rings or the baby cries, all the juice just runs right out of the machinery.”

  The students, male and female, were laughing in a seemingly comfortable way.

  “More comments?” asked Christopher. “Okay, here’s another:

  ‘An erection is beautiful, I think, but also dangerous, like a loaded gun, as if it’s just ready to go off, with all the consequences that the explosion might bring – like an unwanted child, an adulterous relationship, or an STD. I think that’s why a lot of people are uncomfortable with erections at nudist venues: not because men are worried about size per se but because they’re worried about potency and its primal embodiment of desire in an erection.’”

  “Like a loaded
gun! That makes me think of that old line, ‘Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?’” said Renee.

  The class laughed.

  “In Hebrew,” Dr. Ross pointed out, “the word zayin means weapon, but also penis. Pretty obvious, huh?”

  “Look, I’m just gonna say this,” started Alex. “It makes me think of times when I’ve had an erection, you know with a partner or potential partner, and it’s like it’s this big question mark coming out of my legs, like, okay I’m loaded now what?”

  “Question mark? More like an exclamation point!” said Brian.

  “Yes, exactly, this is the moment of possibility, the framing of the threshold,” said Dr. Ross as he searched back through the slideshow images. “The African and Afro-Brazilian orixá Exu is often portrayed with an erection. Here’s the slide we saw a few minutes ago: Exu is represented by the carved ebony figure here. He is the messenger deity of communication across barriers, but also of mischief. Erotic and communicative, he resides at the genitals and the throat, those places where our trunk bifurcates to our limbs. His realm is the crossroads: the moment of decision regarding direction, even if that decision is to stay put or to not decide; the moment in which a message sent could be lost or received, understood or misinterpreted; that moment often called a ‘pregnant pause’ in which the outcome might go either way, heads or tails, trick…or treat. Here’s a question for the men, and let me clarify that this is only a question. No demonstration is needed or even allowed, understood?”

  The male students nodded.

  “If you’re standing nude in a doorframe with an erection, would the tip of your penis pass beyond the frame?”