Skull Screw Up: A Halloween Helper's Cozy Mystery

by Linnea West

  With one more throat-clearing cough, Francine launched into a dramatic retelling of the note, complete with arm gestures.

  "My dearest Francine," she said in a deep, throaty voice. Vinnie wasn't sure if she was trying to imitate Bram or if this was her unfortunate actress voice. "I confess to you that I, myself, Bram took the skull and hid it. You are such a beautiful woman who doesn't need to use the skull as often as you think and I, as a lowly vampire man, couldn't think of another way to let you know. I hope you will not be upset with me. You know I love you more than the moon and stars and that we will be together through all of eternity. Bram."

  Francine folded her hands back into her lap and looked expectantly at Vinnie, who sat staring back at her. After a moment, she realized that the vampire expected applause. Vinnie clapped her hands together politely a few times while Francine dipped her head towards her in acknowledgment. It was becoming clear why Francine was a hard person to live with.

  "So that was exactly what the note said?" Vinnie asked.

  "Well, not exactly," Francine said with a giggle. "You have to allow me a little artistic license with it. That was basically what it said and then I made it a bit more interesting."

  "Can you tell me which parts were straight from the actual note at least?" Vinnie asked.

  Francine clicked her tongue at Vinnie a few times, a large smile still plastered on her face. It was almost as if she were chastising Vinnie for not realizing the great, artistic beauty who sat before her and instead simply wanted to pick apart her work to lambaste it. Really, Vinnie was just an investigator looking for the facts, but try telling Francine that.

  "The part about him hiding the skull was in the original note," Francine finally said. "But the rest of that stuff is true. He just didn't write it down this time."

  "I see," Vinnie said.

  Vinnie cleared her throat, wishing Diggy was here to make a beverage appear in front of her. Hopefully her niece would be back soon. But another question popped into her mind.

  "Someone said you left the library the other day and came back with this note," Vinnie said. "That would have been around the time that Bram was murdered. Can you tell me exactly what you were doing?"

  "I left because this library is utterly boring and I wanted my movie magazines to read," Francine said. "I went to my room to get them and found the note on my bed. I read it and I got so mad. I stomped down the stairs just in time to see Bram go into the ceremony room, so I followed him in there."

  Vinnie swallowed hard. Was Francine going to admit to murdering Bram?

  "He was there staring at the shelf," Francine said. "So I said 'Are you going to put the skull back now and stop this silly charade?' and I accidentally scared him because I kind of yelled it, so he whirled around and got mad when he saw me. I yelled at him about the note and he told me to go back to the library and we could talk more about it a little later."

  "And then what did you do?" Vinnie asked. She realized she'd been holding her breath. Was this going to turn into a confession?

  "Then I turned around and stomped back to the library," Francine said. "I hate being blindsided by a fight and I wanted to make sure I knew exactly what I wanted to say to that twerp. So I came back here and cried about it and then about fifteen minutes later, we heard you yell. That's when we ran out and figured out that Bram was dead."

  "Why didn't you tell me this before?" Vinnie asked, already knowing the answer to the question.

  "You would have believed that I had just gotten upset at Bram and walked away fifteen minutes before he was found dead?" Francine said, one eyebrow cocked. "Look, I may not be a good actress, but I'm no dummy."

  Vinnie was starting to like Francine a little more, but as it stood, she looked like their best suspect. She admitted to being with Bram around the time he was killed, she had a motive, she even said she was mad at him and she had dropped her earring, which gave physical evidence that she had been at the scene of the crime.

  It was looking rather grim for Francine, but Vinnie wasn't sure what to do. At this point, it would be nice to get the Magical Impression Sensor back and see if that can somehow make their case more rock solid.

  The door to the library slowly opened and Diggy walked back in. It did not seem like an hour had passed, but checking her watch, Vinnie was surprised to see that it had. Apparently all of the theatrics had been a real time sink. Her head was hanging down and she wouldn't make eye contact with Vinnie.

  "Good, you're back," Vinnie said, hopping out of her chair. "Let's go try out the Magical Impression Sensor."

  "It turns out that I will need a little more time to get it to work," Diggy said. Her face was red and she looked embarrassed. Tears were forming in her eyes. "I'll need a few more hours to tweak it."

  "Oh, that's alright sweetheart," Vinnie said.

  She rushed over and wrapped Diggy in a hug. She gave Diggy the most motherly squeeze that she possibly could, hoping to make things a bit better for the poor girl. With her mother gone, Diggy's emotions seemed to be a bit more on the fritz than a normal teenager.

  "Let's head home and I can make dinner while you keep working," Vinnie said. "I don't really have anything else to do here right now anyways."

  Vinnie turned and faced Francine, who was already slowly rising out of the chair. She had a big, fake smile pasted on her face again and Vinnie wondered if she was trying to deflect suspicion from herself.

  "You two go on home," Francine said. "We will all still be here tomorrow."

  She walked past the witches and out of the library. Diggy shot a look at Vinnie, who whispered back to her.

  "I'll tell you everything once we get home."

  They walked together to the entrance hall where the travel orb was waiting. As Vinnie put her hand on it, she braced herself for impact upon landing. She hated using this stupid thing.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Once they were home and Vinnie had gotten herself up off of the floor, Diggy had headed straight back to the workshop while Vinnie went to the kitchen where she was currently making a delicious batch of chili using homemade tomato sauce. She had grown the tomatoes during the summer and then processed them into batches of sauce to use for nights like tonight.

  As she walked through the entryway, she got the odd feeling that someone else had been there. But who would have come to their house? Glancing around, Vinnie couldn't find anything missing. She chalked it up to one of those feelings that just happened sometimes in a haunted sort of house. Perhaps a ghost had checked out their house to move in.

  Vinnie started cooking with the piece of parchment with the poem written on it was sitting on the counter next to her. It now had a few small splatters of tomato sauce, which Vinnie felt gave it character. She had read and reread this thing so many times that it almost seemed like a completely different language. It was actually quite hard for Vinnie to get past the terrible rhymes.

  Then an idea popped into Vinnie's head. Norhand didn't seem to be a very accomplished poet, so maybe most of his clues were very similar. Maybe if they compared this poem to the last one, they would see some similarities and since they knew the answer to the first poem, they would have a standard to go by.

  Vinnie knew that it was a bit of a stretch, but at this point, she was willing to try almost anything short of cheating to solve these clues and get Lavender home. She called Diggy up to watch the chili while she ran to her bedroom to find the poem.

  Her bedroom was a mostly tidy place that just happened to have a few, well-hidden messes. The biggest one and the location of the last clue was her nightstand drawer. It was a junk drawer in disguise and it held everything from extra knitting needles to her favorite book and more.

  She rummaged around, finally deciding to take everything out of the drawer and lay it on her bed. Vinnie thought about just dumping it all, but with her luck there would be an open container of ink or something and then she'd be in a terrible mess. So instead, she took things out one at a time.


  Vinnie took out some cough drops, some rubber bands, a pair of binoculars to watch birds out of her bedroom window, and a small book full of daily positive affirmations. She also pulled out an agate, a bluejay feather, and a plain old stick that she wondered where exactly it had come from. Last of all, she pulled out a whole stack of papers.

  One by one, she opened the wrinkled, folded scraps of paper containing everything from the title of a book she wanted to read to the record she was keeping an eye out for at the second hand store. She ran across a recipe she wanted to try for raspberry coffee cake, which she stuck in the big pocket of her sweater. The very last piece of paper she opened was the poem.

  Returning to the kitchen, Vinnie reread the latest poem and the first poem out loud to Diggy as the girl continued to stir supper. Once they felt like both poems were firmly in their mind, Vinnie got to work setting the table as they puzzled it out. She recited the newest poem again, almost having it memorized by now. She did skip the last word, however, wishing Norhand would've thought of something besides vulgar language to end the poem.

  Now that you can brew the potion so well

  You have no need to stop and yell.

  This is something that you cannot sell

  Or you will be put through a living h....

  The first poem's answer had been the base potion. All of the answers were magical things that would help them with their job as the Halloween Helper. That meant it was particularly difficult for Vinnie to help because she had no clue what kinds of things would help them.

  This poem, every single one of the lines rhymed. Usually in a poem, only two of the lines would rhyme, not all of them. That may be significant. Vinnie started to brainstorm other rhymes out loud.

  "Dell, bell, fell," she said. She hoped that maybe something would click in Diggy's head as she rhymed. "Gel, nell, tell."

  "None of those seem to make much sense," Diggy said.

  She was ladling the hot chili into Vinnie's favorite soup bowls. It was a set of three blue pottery bowls with little handles. Vinnie had found them at the New to You Boutique. Obviously they used to be a set of four, but she assumed one had broken so the original owners had donated them. That was alright because three was all they needed, even if they were only using two right now.

  "That's alright," Vinnie said. "We're trying. Let's get a little food in our stomachs while we think about it. I should also tell you about Francine and what I discovered."

  The two witches sat down at the table and for a while, the only sounds were the fire crackling in the fireplace and the sounds of contented eating. Vinnie crushed up a few crackers to put on top of her chili while she tried to just let her mind wander. Sometimes the best ideas came when she wasn't really thinking about anything in particular.

  "Okay, I want to hear what Francine told you," Diggy said once she had finished half of her bowl of chili in record time.

  Vinnie went through the entire story that Francine had told her, from the note that she no longer had to her confrontation of Bram which put her at the scene of the crime right around the time the vampire was murdered. Diggy was spellbound as Vinnie told her everything that Francine had admitted to.

  "Did she realize that she was basically skirting around a confession?" Diggy asked. "I mean, I'm a little surprised she didn't try to say that she had touched the wooden stake too."

  "No, Francine said she was angry with Bram, but she said he was alive when she left the ceremony room," Vinnie said. "Of course we can't prove that."

  "This drama is just too good," Diggy said. "I thought I was making up a super dramatic story for my next book, but it can't even compare with this."

  "Tell me about your book instead," Vinnie said. "I could use a break from all of this."

  Vinnie and Lavender didn't really understand Diggy's obsession with writing what amounted to fan fiction, but the girl loved it and it was a hobby that kept her out of trouble. The weirdest thing about it was that she would set it in paranormal stories with witches, vampires, and werewolves which just seemed odd considering those were all very normal things for the young witch.

  Diggy was waving her hands around, gesturing wildly as she forgot about her dinner and focused on telling the story. Anything that could take them both out of their current problems was a welcome distraction. Diggy was weaving a complicated story that she was trying to write concerning time travel. It was more complicated than usual because while the book would be written with the story twice in a row, once the way the characters experienced it first and then what they did once they went back in time, the retelling of the story was both storylines simultaneously.

  "So then like the two werewolves are howling at the moon because they are announcing that they are going to go hunt down the villain," Diggy said. "But the two werewolves from the future are also in the bushes, trying to figure out how to stop them since they know it's going to be a trap because they've already been caught in the trap even though they escaped, but I'm not up to that part yet."

  Vinnie's head spun with all of the threads of Diggy's story. Once it was down on paper, she was sure it would make more sense but right now it was giving her a headache.

  "Anyway, the villain's name is Frantowickers," Diggy said. "And he is half vampire, half werewolf. He has a very complicated backstory that I'll get to in a moment."

  "Wait a minute, what is his name?" Vinnie couldn't help but ask.

  "Frantowickers," Diggy said. Her face was completely serious, like she didn't get what Vinnie didn't understand.

  "Did you make that up?" Vinnie asked. "It's very unusual and creative. How do you even spell that?"

  Diggy's eyebrows furrowed together like she was thinking very hard before her eyes slowly started to widen. Her mouth dropped open and she seemed to freeze, except for her eyes, which were darting all around the kitchen.

  "Wait a minute, what did you say?" Diggy asked breathlessly.

  "I asked if you made up the Fatowick name or whatever," Vinnie said.

  "No, no, no, after that," Diggy said.

  She waved her hands like she was trying to beckon Vinnie to hurry up even though Vinnie wasn't quite sure what the rush was.

  "I said 'how do you spell that?'" Vinnie said.

  A big smile appeared on Diggy's face as she stood up, knocking over her chair as she did a little dance. Maybe the poor girl was sick and delusional. They had been working awfully hard ever since they became Halloween Helpers. Maybe Diggy needed to go rest in bed.

  "Are you okay sweetie?" Vinnie asked. "Why don't I help you upstairs to bed?"

  "No way!" Diggy squealed. "You're going to want me to stay down here because I just solved the clue!"

  Chapter Fifteen

  "You what?" Vinnie asked. "How did you solve the clue when we were talking about your character Frankers or whatever his name is."

  "I will reveal all soon," Diggy said.

  She waved her hands around like she was casting a fake spell. Vinnie had no idea what had gotten into the girl, but she decided she should finish the last few bites of her chili. Obviously Diggy was enjoying the suspense, although now she was getting out plates and digging around in the pantry for something.

  Vinnie tried not to feel annoyed at the girl. After all, Diggy had just solved the clue even if she wasn't telling Vinnie the actual answer and even if she was currently emptying out half of the pantry which Vinnie was sure she wouldn't put back.

  Shutting her eyes, Vinnie rubbed her temples, wondering if that would relax her enough while she waited for the reveal. Maybe she would fall asleep and awake to the answer. Or maybe if she thought hard enough about it, maybe she would somehow discover that she did indeed have magic and it was time-travel magic. Or she would just spend so much time thinking about all of this stuff that it would feel like time travel.

  She opened her eyes and a piece of vanilla cake with strawberry frosting had appeared on a plate in front of her along with a glass half full of milk. The sudden appearance of desserts would
be a great magical power to have. Vinnie put a piece of the cake in her mouth and chewed it up before she asked Diggy what in the world was going on.

  "Well something you said just clicked in my head and I thought we could use some celebration cake," Diggy said.

  "I get that," Vinnie said. "But what clicked? What is the answer to the puzzle?"

  "You said the word that rhymed with the poem and was the answer to the puzzle!" Diggy exclaimed. "It's a celebration!"

  Vinnie took a deep, calming breath to counteract the annoying teenage tendencies of her niece. Diggy was just excited and Vinnie needed to remember the fact that teenagers can sometimes act like overgrown toddlers. They tended to run with their emotions and instead of getting mad, Vinnie needed to just flow right along with it.

  "Can you please back up and be very clear about exactly what I said and what the exact answer for the puzzle is?" Vinnie said. "I just want to make sure that we are actually on the same page."

  Diggy finished up her little danced and plopped back down into her seat. She giggled a few times before she cleared her throat.

  "You said 'spell,'" Diggy said. "The answer is the family spell!"

  "And what exactly is that?" Vinnie asked.

  "OH yeah, I forget you wouldn't know these things since you aren't magical," Diggy said matter-of-factly. "The family spell is a spell that each family can use to bond their powers together and become more powerful while casting a spell. You have to...oh."

  Diggy's face fell. She bit her lip and mumbled the end of the sentence.

  "What?" Vinnie asked. "You have to what?"

  "You have to use the family wand," Diggy said. "That's the other part of the puzzle. The extra two lines at the end are about the family wand."

  "Great!" Vinnie said. "You solved it, so why are you so glum, chum?"

  Vinnie couldn't help but giggle at her rhyme. It was almost as bad as Norhand's rhymes in the puzzle which is why it was so funny. But her laughter abruptly stopped when she noticed that tears were falling down Diggy's cheeks.