Faith

by Lisa Helen Gray

  I’m also conflicted over him actually wanting to be with me. He’s given me no indication that he doesn’t want to be, so it’s not that. It’s because Noah is still a threat in my life. How do I pursue this thing between us when he hangs over our head like a stormy cloud?

  Still, I can’t not talk to him about it any longer. So, whilst Quinn talks Alex into opening for an act, I build up the courage.

  “Beau, I, um… Can we—I mean… can I talk to you for a moment?”

  He pulls his gaze away from the screen, giving me his full attention, something any other male I know wouldn’t do if something was on the television.

  It’s just another positive attribute to his charming personality.

  “Why do you look so nervous? Do I need to be nervous?”

  “No… Yes—no. Oh, God.” I groan, covering my face with my hands. “I’m not doing this right.”

  “Hey, look at me.” He waits until I’ve lifted my head to continue. “You can talk to me about anything. Are you in pain? Do you need help going the bathroom or something?”

  Just let me die.

  My face must be scarlet, because it feels like it’s on fire. “No. I’m good, thank you. It’s actually about us.”

  My eyes drift down to my hands, too scared to see the expression on his face.

  His finger presses under my chin, lifting my head until my gaze meets his. “What about us, baby?”

  Baby. I like it when he calls me that.

  “I’m not sure—okay, I’m a little… We kiss—well, you kiss me. I—I don’t know.” I want to throttle myself for how wrong this is coming out. I’m never this freaking shy, but I’ve discovered a lot of new things about myself when it comes to Beau.

  “Are you trying to ask if we’re in a relationship?” He asks so calmly, no clamming up and making a fool out of himself, unlike me. I want to throttle him now. His lips twitch into a smirk, and I have the urge to stomp my foot.

  “Yes!”

  He full-on smiles, showing all his straight, white teeth. God, he’s perfect.

  “For starters, I don’t kiss my friends, or fantasise about them either. What did you think was happening here?”

  He genuinely wants to know, I can see it in his eyes. He’s not asking to tease me or put me on the spot. He wants to know where I’m at. I kind of like that.

  And he fantasises about me? My belly tightens, wanting to ask him what kind of fantasies.

  “You heard my dad. He wasn’t lying when he blurted out about my lack of sexual experience. This is all new to me, so I’m going to need you to spell it out so I don’t get my hopes up.”

  His eyes heat at that. “Yeah, still have no fucking clue how a girl like you stays innocent. You could have anyone you wanted.”

  I scoff. “We’ll get back to that later. Much later. Answer.”

  His deep chuckle hits me all the way down to my toes. So does his smouldering gaze.

  “I’m hoping we can take things steady, see where this goes between us. I really like you, Faith. I’ve never felt instant chemistry—beyond sexual—with someone before. Before you were assaulted, I was drawn to you. I thought it was because you were different—you’re Faith. But after you were attacked, I knew for sure I was into you, like really into you.”

  My insides are going crazy at the knowledge he sees me as more than a quick dunk and roll. My belly flutters at the thought of him wanting to see where this goes. But I still feel like I’m back at the beginning, like he didn’t answer my questions.

  “You’re going to have to explain, Beau,” I whisper, unsure. “What is it you want from me? Are we in a relationship? Are we friends who kiss? Will you see other people? Expect me too? This really is all new to me.”

  His hands go around my waist and pull me onto his lap. “I’m sorry. I’m new to this too. I’ve only been in a few relationships, baby, and none of them were like this. We weren’t friends like how we are together. It’s one of the most important parts of a relationship and it was constantly missing in all of mine. To answer your questions, I don’t expect anything from you. I’m not even sure what you meant by the question. Do I expect you to have sex with me? No! Do I expect you to clean and cook? No! I don’t want anything from you. I just want to be with you.”

  I grow soft in his arms, dropping my head against his and closing my eyes. I’ve heard so many people ask their other halves that question, and not one of them answered like that. They always gave a list of demands; they wanted them to be there for them, to listen to them and love them. Beau, my handsome and rugged Beau, had just given the most perfect answer I’ve ever heard. It cuts deep into my heart, and I know it will stay with me forever.

  “Beau,” I whisper, feeling myself tear up.

  He kisses my lips once before looking intently into my eyes. “Are we in a relationship? Yes, we most certainly are, but only if that is something you want. I’m not going to be dating anyone else—hasn’t even crossed my mind since you screamed in my face the first time we met.” I laugh, remembering our first encounter, which feels like years ago. “I also don’t like the thought of you seeing someone else. But most of all, yes, we are friends who kiss, and in the future, we will be lovers who have sex.”

  A tingle spreads in my core at the mention of sex. All these years I’d presumed I was frigid, that something wrong with my lady bits, but from the moment I’d met Beau, it was like they awakened. But still…

  “I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”

  He smiles, his expression soft as he tucks my hair behind my ear. It’s been a pain to wear it down all the time—it still hurts to put it up.

  “We’re good, Faith. Never feel rushed, ever. But I do have to ask, can we do other stuff that isn’t sexual intercourse?”

  He looks at me hopefully, and his professor voice makes me giggle. “We can try, but I’ve never done that either.”

  His eyes heat and his smile falls. “You’ve never had a―”

  Blushing bright red, I place my hand over his mouth. “Nope. Nothing but kiss. Now shush, a good part is about to come on.”

  “But―”

  “Nope! Just shush, you’ll regret it if you miss this.”

  “Bossy,” he mutters, before turning to the screen. He keeps me on his lap and I stay there, resting my back against the arm of the sofa and leaning my head on his shoulder.

  Ten minutes later, I look away from the television to stare at Beau’s face, a smile nearly splitting my cheeks apart. His eyes are misty from what just played on screen.

  “Are you okay?” I ask, not able to hide the amusement from my voice.

  He snaps his head to me, like he forgot I was even there. “She’s having a baby.”

  I grin at the joy in his voice. “I know.”

  “She’s pregnant,” he cheers, squeezing me to death.

  “You do realise this is just a show, right?”

  I’m given a glare in answer. “This is not just a show. I can’t believe she’s pregnant. Imagine being Chase, though, getting a phone call to say he was pregnant. Wonder what his doctor thought at those results, or what he thought about Alex being pregnant.” He laughs as he continues to think on it.

  “As I said, you do realise this is a show? I doubt they thought anything.”

  “Nah, I bet the doctor was ready to admit him and perform science experiments. And that he wanted to pass the fuck out when he thought Alex was pregnant. But fuck, never has a show made me truly happy for its characters.

  I have to agree. “They are good actors and real-life story plots. Plus, Brooke crying? Always sets off the waterworks.”

  He nods, still smiling for the fictional couple on screen. It’s another side to Beau that I’ve come to love. He has so many sides to him, it’s hard to keep up. He’s caring, kind, thoughtful, protective, badass, outspoken, brave, funny, charming, sexy, and sensitive to those around him.

  And now this man is mine.

  Even Brooke Davis couldn’t be happier than I
am right now.

  Because I think I just found my future, my life. My prince.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Even though it’s been two and a half weeks since my attack, I’ve still not been cleared to go back to work, and won’t be until my cast comes off and the doctors are happy it’s healed properly. It still hasn’t stopped me coming in and looking things over. Buster is still in the kennels and today is the last day he’s allowed here.

  “And you’ve put up posters, posted on social network sites?” I ask Nina again as I run my fingers over his head. He’s getting better every day, healing quicker than I am.

  “Yes. We’ve had over twenty-five thousand shares, and still nothing. I’m sorry, Faith. I know you hate this part of your job.”

  I do. If we send Buster to our local dog home, he will be put down if he isn’t rehomed in time. Animals’ lives become a ticking time bomb the minute they are referred there. We only refer puppies, since they are rehomed right away, but older dogs, like Buster, are harder.

  I feel a connection to Buster. He was run over because of me; I feel like it’s my duty to take care of him. And he’s a really cute freaking dog.

  Nina brought him round to see me when she’d been on one of her daily dog walks. I had been staying at my parents’. Buster had comforted me, just like Roxy, and something would pass through me every time he stared into my eyes. Guilt and love on my part? Yes. But I felt the kinship between us.

  He didn’t make me feel helpless. I saw strength in him, and I fed off it.

  “I’m going to take him home with me.”

  Nina doesn’t look surprised, only doubtful. “Faith, you have a huge heart when it comes to animals, but you need to think about this. You live in a small two-bedroomed flat. You don’t have the space for two big dogs. And you work a lot.”

  She’s right, I do work a lot, but I won’t let him be passed through the system like he means nothing. He means something to me.

  “I’ve been saving to buy a house closer to my family. It means I’ll have to get a car to come to work, but it also means I’ll have a garden for them to run around in. I’m going to hire another surgeon to help with the caseload we seem to be accumulating here too. It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a while, but something always came up and I made excuses, waiting until the next time.”

  Her smile is radiant. “That’s amazing. You’ve always wanted a house closer to your parents. You Carter’s will own that neighbourhood soon.”

  I laugh and sit back in my desk chair. “Don’t be dramatic. We only own, like, five houses on that street.”

  “Yeah, that street. What about the one where Lake’s parents live? Don’t you own three on that one?”

  “What can I say, my dad is awesome at real estate. I’m gonna grab some things and head home with Buster.”

  Buster’s ears perk up and he makes a noise at the back of his throat, which makes me giggle.

  “I’ll come with you. I’m finished for the day.”

  I nod, knowing she would have called one of my brothers if she wasn’t. None of them will leave me alone for five minutes. The only peace and quiet I get nowadays is in the bathroom, where none of them can follow. Unless your name is Aiden and you just barge in, embarrassing us both.

  “Okay.”

  “Just give me five. Do you want to grab something to eat?”

  “Yeah, I’m a bit hungry. We can just order in though, right? I feel like being lazy.”

  She shrugs. “All right.”

  *** *** ***

  The two dogs seem to be getting on fine. Roxy is resting her head on Buster’s large belly, snoring lightly. Both are tuckered out after their walks around the park.

  It’s getting late. I’m expecting one of my cousins or brothers to turn up, but so far, nothing. My phone rings and I look down at the screen, seeing Hayden’s name.

  “Hey, sweets, what’s up?”

  “Just thought I’d ring you to let you know the plans for next week have changed. We’re going out for a meal first and then going clubbing. Immy is still demanding we go out in fancy dress.”

  Crap, I forgot it was the triplets’ nineteenth birthday.

  “It’s October, it’s freezing, especially if she wants us to wear skimpy outfits.”

  She laughs down the line. “Too right. I’ve shut her down for now, but she’ll keep trying. There’s no way I’m going to a restaurant dressed like that. Pissed up and out on the town, I don’t give a shit.”

  It’s my turn to laugh. Hayden drunk is hilarious. She gets us doing random shit. Even if the night starts out normal, it always ends up with one of us falling for something she’s conjured up.

  “Okay. I don’t mind either way, just keep me informed.”

  “Will do. How is that man of yours?”

  She’s been hassling me for a few days about what is going between me and Beau. I’ve not told my family anything, because the minute I tell them we’re in a relationship, they’ll start asking me if we’ve done it. And that is something I do not want to share with them.

  Just… no.

  It’s bad enough he stays almost every night to keep an eye on me. They think something has happened between us, but it hasn’t. We’ve done nothing but kiss, and it’s all I’m ready for at the moment.

  “He’s good.”

  A knock on the door startles me. I look over to Nina, who is flicking through the movies on Netflix.

  “Can you grab that? It’s the pizza.”

  She nods, getting up to answer the door.

  “Is that him?” Hayden booms down the phone excitedly.

  “Um, no, it’s Nina. I’m going to have to go, our food is here.”

  “Okay, I’ll call in tomorrow. I wanted to get your opinion on the dresses I’ve picked for my birthday.”

  “Sounds awesome. See you then.”

  We end the call and I turn to see Nina holding a shoe box and not the pizza I had hoped would be here. I’m starving. I sigh in disappointment.

  “What’s that?” I ask, noting she’s looking a little pale.

  “Um, I―”

  The door opens behind her and Beau steps in. “Hey, beautiful, I’m home,” Beau sings. “Did you cook dinner?”

  “Um, Beau…”

  He notices Nina and loses his smile. “Is everything okay?”

  “I don’t know. Nina opened the door thinking it was the pizza bloke, but she came in with that.” I point to the box in her hands. “I was on the phone.” Once I’ve finish explaining, I walk up to her. Her hands are shaking and she’s still looking down at the box. “Nina, girl, what is it?”

  “It’s a… it’s a―”

  Beau takes the box from her hands. “It’s okay, I got it.” He walks over to the counter. I tend to Nina, rubbing her arms, which are covered in goose bumps. I bite my lip, worried about what she saw.

  “Fuck!” Beau curses, running a hand through his hair.

  “What is it?”

  He looks over his shoulder at me, his eyes hard. “It’s nothing. I’ll deal with this.”

  Yeah, that isn’t going to happen.

  Stepping around Nina, I walk over to the counter with determination. “Beau, I can handle this. Trust me. I want to know—no, I need to know. It’s spooked Nina.”

  He sighs, looking conflicted, before flicking the box open. I peep inside and cringe at the sight. A dead rat lays on its side, blood pouring from a wound in his neck.

  I flip the lid closed again and close my eyes, counting to ten.

  “Are you okay? I knew I shouldn’t have let you look.”

  Beau pulls me into his arms and I go, resting my head on his shoulder. “No, I’m fine. I’m just fucking mad he killed an animal to prove something. Who does he think he is? Couldn’t he have just sent me a fucking picture of a rat instead of using a real, defenceless one?”

  “It was a real rat,” Nina whispers.

  Turning in her direction, I wince. She freaking hates rats. Out of all the
animals we deal with, she still hasn’t gotten over her fear of the disease-spreading rodents. They’re her worst nightmare. She constantly refuses to work on any that come in.

  “Are you okay?” I ask as a knock on the door echoes throughout the room. “Mmm, pizza.”

  Nina gags and Beau looks at me like I’m crazy. He walks over to the door and I step towards Nina.

  “It was a real rat. I nearly touched it,” she whispers. “I need to wash my hands—bleach them. Yeah, I need to bleach them.”

  I watch her stumble to the bathroom, biting my lip to hold in my giggle. I shouldn’t find it funny that Noah sent me a message, calling me a rat. What did he expect, me to sit at home and pray he doesn’t hurt me or someone else again? Not a chance. There was no remorse in the man who attacked me, no chance of him changing.

  I’d like to think I’m capable of forgiveness, but a monster like him, someone who will never repent for his crimes, doesn’t deserve my forgiveness, or anyone else’s.

  “She okay?” Beau asks, dropping the pizza onto my coffee table—completely avoiding the counter. Thank god, I don’t want my food near the rat.

  “She will be. She hates rats.”

  “Who likes them?” he asks. His eyebrows scrunched up, seeming to really think about it.

  “I like them. I like all animals, which is why I’m pissed. He’s not going to leave me alone, is he?”

  Beau’s eyes harden. “No, he won’t. We’re gonna find him though, Faith. It’s only a matter of time. I can’t promise you it will be tomorrow, or next week, or even next month, but I will find him.”

  My heart softens at his declaration. “I know you will, Beau. You can’t let it rule your life though. I’m not ready to walk outside on my own yet, but I’m not scared of him. I understand he’s dangerous, but he’s a coward. He’s not going to ruin my life. I won’t let him. Which is why I’m going to sit down, put my feet up, and eat my yummy pizza.”

  He looks dumbfounded when I flop back on the sofa and grab a slice of pizza out of the box.