by Terri Pray
A woman who was also submissive.
Strong but with the ability to kneel.
Except it wasn’t Jake she wanted to kneel to. She didn’t belong to him. So why did a part of her, a large part of her, still want to see if she could do it? If she could submit to him?
“It’s been hard since the accident, I admit that. And playing has been out of the question. He just doesn’t have the physical control any more. Not yet at least. It will return in time.” Naomi slowly tore a corner off the paper napkin. Hard didn’t even begin to describe it. A living nightmare pierced by shreds of hope.
“And until it does, what will you do? How will you control it? You can’t shut it down, you know that and I know you’ve tried.”
“I don’t know. I’ll cope with it, I guess. I don’t know what else I can do. Not and be fair to him.” Tonight, Tyler had promised. There’d be something special for them tonight. Would he be able to take part, or was it just going to be another hope that would crash and burn into the side of a building?
No, that wasn’t right. He hadn’t deliberately had the accident. No one had planned it. Black ice, sleet, an idiot ahead of him that had turned into the lane without warning, those had been the factors that had led to the accident. The road too slick, the speed too much, his reactions not quite enough to save the day. The only thing he could have done in order to avoid being hurt was not be on the road at that time.
“You can come and submit to me.”
The background noise of the coffee shop did little to mask his words. An offer she had longed to hear, but not from his lips. Still it remained a chance to unleash the need within her that had gone without hope in too long. Who else had heard his words though? The waitress who hurried past now, her cheeks turning a heated red, that glance backwards at their table with eyes filled with a mix of horror and wonderment.
Perhaps the young couple, who sat at the neighboring table?
Or the older man in the corner?
No, she didn’t dare think about that. Not right now. She had enough to deal with, thanks to Jake’s offer.
“Think of it, that feel of the leather caressing your back. That silence as I pull the flogger away before it strikes on your bare skin. That shock of pain and pleasure mingling as you rise onto your toes, arching to the blow, whimpering in your need for more.” Jake reached out and lifted her chin, meeting her gaze calmly. “You know what it feels like, you crave that touch again and you’re imagining what it feels like even now.”
More than one gaze seemed to pull towards the table as she shifted on the chair, her thighs pressing tightly together. God, what was he doing here? What if someone spoke out, or knew Tyler?
“Perhaps clamps on those tight nipples of yours? A gag between your teeth, sight claimed with a simple piece of folded black silk.” His voice lulled her into the dangerous image he wove. “Stretched out, helpless, ready for my touch, ready for whatever delights I wish to play across your body. You know I have the skill to do this to you. All those toys you’ve seen. The things I could do to you. The way you’ll arch for me and plead, cry. Those sweet, sweet tears you’ll be able to release for me. Just think about it, for a moment at least. Remember what it can feel like.”
Her inner walls rippled at the thought. Yes, she remembered all too well, in intimate, beautiful detail. This wasn’t what she needed to deal with right now.
“Don’t… please.” Her voice was almost a whimper. “This isn’t the time or place to discuss such things, Jake. People might hear you.”
“I don’t care about them. I care about you. I care about what you need. You remember what I can do to you. With you. How it felt to be so helpless. I can do that all again, and then, when you think your body can take no more, I’ll lift you higher and grant you what you really crave. I’ll allow you so many releases as you squirm beneath me that you won’t know where one ends and another begins,” Jake continued on, regardless of her plea. “You know how that can feel. You remember that, don’t you? All that pleasure, the pain, the knowledge that submission, that sub space you crave, would be just around the corner.”
Her cunt tightened, shame and desire rising in equal amounts, even as her mind screamed the reality of what he was saying. More than just domination, more than a flogging, the control, the mixture of pain and pleasure she missed, he wanted her in all ways.
An offer to become his lover and slave all rolled into one.
One that tempted her in a way she knew it shouldn’t. A way she knew was wrong. Finding a Dom was one thing, betraying Tyler and becoming Jake’s lover was another.
She looked away from him and closed her eyes, trying to shut out the temptations his words brought to life. All those times she had enjoyed with Tyler, the events they had attended together and the private moments when they returned home. She missed that, far more than she had ever dared to admit to her husband, and now – now Jake offered her a way to experience that sense of peace again.
“You know you want to.” Jake reached out across the table and softly brushed his fingers over hers. “How long has it been now, Naomi, a year, eighteen months, two years? How much longer will you be able to keep that drive under control, before something finally gives out? Before you finally snap?”
“It’s been almost two years.” It had been two long and terrible years that had passed without a single touch of the flogger against her back. Twenty-four months spent missing the feel of Tyler’s fingers in her hair, as he pulled her to her knees at his feet. Tears pricked at her eyes and she blinked them back. This wasn’t the place to burst into tears. He’d only use that, build on it, and she had to be able to think clearly.
“It doesn’t have to be this way, you know that,” he whispered. “You could have it all again. All you have to do is take my hand.”
“You’re asking me to cheat on him.” Naomi shook her head. “I wasn’t expecting to hear that. Not from you. Not after everything you know we’ve been through.”
“No, I’m telling you that you don’t have to keep cheating on yourself. You’ve denied a part of who you are, for a man who might never be able to even hold you fully, let alone put you on your stomach again. You’re young, you’re healthy and you don’t deserve to spend the rest of your life with your submissive side buried deep. He wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself like this.”
Tyler had brought that to life in her. He’d held her. He’d shown her the way into that soft, submissive state and he didn’t deserve to be tossed aside just because of a stupid accident.
“Think about it, Naomi.”
“I am. I just don’t think it would be fair to Tyler. Not after everything he’s been through.” Not with the way she still loved him. Still needed him. He wasn’t a bad man. Even in his rages, the tempers he worked through, he still loved her. She’d seen that in his eyes. It had been a life line she’d clung to through the darkest of nights.
She couldn’t betray that now. Not when she’d held on so long and hard to that line, to the hope that there was some way they could be themselves again.
She watched Jake’s jaw tightened. “You’re not thinking this through. If Tyler loves you, he wouldn’t want you to spend the rest of your life being nothing more than a nursemaid to him. He’ll accept this is for the best, when it’s the right time to tell him of course.”
Her stomach knotted. Her skin felt slimy where he’d touched her.
It had been a mistake to agree to meet him for coffee. Even before the conversation had turned to this, she had felt the knot of guilt in the pit of her stomach, that nagging voice of doubt gaining life, the whispers of, ‘What would happen if Tyler found out?’
Jake, why would he offer such a thing? Didn’t he know how hurt Tyler would be, if he found out? He and Tyler had been friends, once. Perhaps her husband still thought him one, with the frequent visits he made to check on Tyler’s well being. Foolish, they’d both been foolish to believe those looks cast her way were nothing more than the ones of a concerned fr
iend.
“Well?” he pressed, tapping her ring finger. “Is that going to be the only collar you will ever wear again?”
“It’s not a collar.” The protest died on her lips.
“Yes it is, and you know it. That’s how you’re acting -- as if you owe him your obedience, your submission. What has he got left to offer you? When was the last time you actually came with a man, or for a man, Naomi? Tell the truth. Not just to me, but to yourself.”
The words tugged at her, fed her doubts and hinted at a fix to the cravings that had gone unanswered. She’d stopped even playing with herself in the last few months, almost afraid he would discover and think himself even less of a man. What would he have thought about her self-pleasure? She wanted to believe that he’d have been all right with it, but the voice of doubt said otherwise. It whispered how he would have been hurt by the discovery.
If only she’d had the courage to talk to him about it.
Too late now.
“He’d never know until you were ready to tell him. You could take a shopping trip with the girls from work, a night out with friends, or even a visit to your Mom’s, if you wanted to be away for a little longer. So you’d need to bring your cell phone with you, but I’m sure we can figure out a way of making this work, and you know how well stocked my basement is.”
Oh, she knew only too well.
They’d been there, before things had changed. She’d writhed in those leather cuffs, heard the chains rattle above her. It wouldn’t take much and she would be able to close her eyes, smell the leather, the sweat, the desire, all mingling on her own skin.
Tyler had been there.
He’d guided her through the play, the scenes that had left her screaming in pain and delight combined. He’d helped her come through on the other side of sub space. Oh, to say that she craved that again was an understatement. Just not this way.
It didn’t stop her body from reacting to his words.
Her sex tightened and liquid heat coated her inner walls. She could almost feel his touch again. All those small caresses, the way he had held her tight against the bed as she squirmed in the bonds. The feel of the flogger over her back, the way each strike had sent a wave of pain, pleasure and desire through her body.
They’d shared so many wonderful nights in Jake’s basement, exploring the toys and her boundaries, and had opened up an entire new world for the, then, newly-wed couple. Jake had been a part of that, there was no denying what had happened between them, but even then Jake had never taken it beyond the bounds of the scene.
There had been no sex. No oral submission to him. Not even any form of insertion play. That part of her body, her life, had belonged to Tyler.
“Say yes.” He rested his hand on hers. “You know you want to. You know you need it. Say it and we can explore that need together.”
“I can’t.” It hurt to refuse him. She needed what he offered, but he wasn’t Tyler. No matter what toys he had, the dungeon she had seen first hand, or the skill he had shown during those shared play sessions, she still knew the answer had to be no. “It wouldn’t be right. Not after everything he and I have been through. I can’t do that to him. I just – it would be wrong.”
“Is it right to deny what you are?” His grip on her hand tightened. “You can’t believe that you have to shut down who you are for the rest of your life. You know better than that. There’s no way to switch it off. So why torture yourself?”
“I’m his.” Such a simple declaration, but her heart sang at the words.
How often had she been told that it was wrong to poach the submissive or dominant of another? Hadn’t Jake even tried to get one man banned from the local group for such a thing?
She shifted in the chair, her stomach knotting, unraveling only to knot once again.
“You can’t seriously think I would do this to him, Jake? Don’t you remember how you reacted when that Simon tried to persuade Lisa to come and scene with him behind her Dom’s back? Didn’t you raise hell over that? And have him blacklisted from the group. Not just our group, but every single group within a five hundred mile radius?”
He sat back up, pulling his hand away from hers, dark eyes narrowing. “That was different. What I’m offering you is nothing like that.”
“How?” Was he insane? It was the same, from everything she had seen so far. Cheating, betraying a Dom, trying to tempt someone away from the man, or woman, they belonged with.
“She had an active Dom, one who could provide what she needed. She was sworn to him and…”
“And she belonged to him. Jake, can’t you see that it’s no different with me? How do you think Tyler would react if he knew about this? He’d be devastated. I just can’t do it to him.”
Jake didn’t see it that way, though. The look in his eyes made it very clear. “Look, if I thought this was anything like stealing another’s submissive I wouldn’t even approach you. You know me better than that. I’m hurt you would label me in the same way as that piece of scum.” The outrage sounded real enough, but she couldn’t help wondering if some of it was aimed at himself? “I would never approach you if Tyler was able to give you what you needed. This is not the same thing at all. You’re free and trapped at the same time. I can’t stand to see you like this. In so much pain. In need. And then, when I offer you something to help you, you then attack me?”
“I’m not labeling you. Or attacking you, but can’t you see how wrong it would be. I couldn’t do that to him, going behind his back like that.” How long would it be before the offer he held out to her became the only life line she could see? “What about discussing this with him? If there’s truly nothing wrong with this idea, then why can’t we go to Tyler and be up-front with this? If he agreed, then it would be different.”
She watched as Jake pushed away from the table and leaned in the chair, fixing her with a cold look. “Are you out of your mind? As volatile as his temper has been, you want me to go and talk with my best friend and say ‘hey, mind if I flog your wife as you can’t do it anymore’? Have you any idea how he would react? Do you really want me to risk losing my best friend, just so you and I can scene together? You’re not thinking this through at all. I thought better of you. You’re not showing the intelligence I’ve seen in you before. Can’t you see how he’d lash out at me?”
“At you?” Naomi flinched. He didn’t care how Tyler would react to her, only to him. The shadows were stripped from her mind at his words. All the things she had shut out about him, the small hints over the years, the way he had seldom held on to a submissive for more than a few months, the way he hung around the newcomers in that ‘oh so helpful’ way of his. He wasn’t thinking about helping her out, about giving her the chance to enjoy that time as a submissive. The only person Jake cared about – was Jake.
God. What a fool she had been. She’d put everything at risk for a man who didn’t care about her and never would. She took a deep breath and tried to focus. Soft trembles ran through her body as she looked at him and finally spoke.
“No, Jake. I’m not sure what I expected, but it certainly isn’t you risking your friendship with my husband.” Her chair scraped back across the floor as she rose. Could she stay calm doing this? She hoped so. “I did, however, at least hope that you’d be able to accept that I don’t want to sneak around behind my husband’s back. I think this is over. I’m going home. Now.”
“What? Are you out of your mind?” He blinked. “Where are you going? Sit back down. Don’t you want to work through some options for meeting? This isn’t over Naomi. You can’t just walk out on me like this. I won’t put up with this. Sit your ass back down and finish this conversation.”
“No, Jake. I’m going back to my husband, where I belong. I should never have agreed to meet you like this in the first place. And I don’t belong to you, so giving me orders isn’t going to work either. So don’t even try it.”
“If you walk out on me now you’ll regret it,” Jake snarled. “I’ll make
it so you can never walk back into the group again. I’ll spin this around so it makes it look like you came crawling to me on your hands and knees, and I refused you out of the need to protect Tyler. By the time I’m done with you, there will be so many calls from those within the scene that you’ll never be able to go back to an event in this town again. So you can either sit your damn ass back down now, or you can go home and wait for those calls to begin.”
Her skin crawled. Nothing she had seen of him before now had prepared her for this side of him. Her stomach rolled. Cold sweat coated her flesh and she tried to keep her fear from gaining full control of her body.
So, she’d be taking a risk if she went to the group and brought this up. Since Tyler’s accident, they’d barely attended more than a handful of functions, Munches, a few dinners, but nothing more than that. If it wasn’t for the fact that she knew there was still a core group left from her regular sessions at the clubs, then she wouldn’t have been affected by his words.
But she did still have friends there. They both did. And friends, since Tyler’s accident, had become a rare commodity.
“Are you threatening me?” She stopped, fixing him with a look far colder than she had known she could be capable of. “If you are, I suggest you think very carefully about that. Just this conversation alone would have you black balled from the local group. And don’t think I won’t do it.”
“Oh I know you won’t. Women like you don’t have the guts to stand up against anyone with a dominant bone in their body. Oh, you like to think that it’s a power exchange, but that’s politically-correct crap. No, what you want is a man to tell you what to do and how to do it. The sooner you realize just how pathetic you are, and how deeply you need me, the better it will be for you.”
Her anger flared, every pain, every bitten back word she had struggled to keep locked up in the months with Tyler, finally gained life. She wanted to slap that smug smile from his face, and make him realize that she held the power right now.
