by Terri Pray
“You really think just because a woman is submissive, that they’ll bend to any man who can bluster their way into their life?”
“Shit yes, why else would you have submitted to a weak-assed man like Tyler in the first place? He has no idea of just what it takes to control a woman. You two spent time playing around with the idea, and now look at you. He’s crippled, and you’re ready to squirm beneath the first man who walks into your life, just like you’ll wriggle beneath me tomorrow afternoon. I won’t wait any longer than that. You’ll be in my basement tomorrow, by two, or face the consequences. And you don’t want to know just how I’ll ruin what’s left your pathetic little life if you try to disobey me.”
“Like hell I will.” Her voice never rose above a soft whisper. “There’s no way I am coming to your place ever again.”
How the hell had she ever looked at this man as a friend? Or more? Had she been walking around with a pair of blinders on? What an idiot she’d been. Well, it was time to end that. He wasn’t going to push her around any longer.
“You’ve got no choice. It’s your word against mine, even if you do try to fight me on this. You’ve got no proof…”
“Yes I do, Jake.” She smiled, enjoying the moment as the color faded from his face. “I’ve kept a journal every day of my married life. Every phone call, every hint from you, is recorded in that journal, right down to the arrangement to meet you for coffee today. Yes, it might turn Tyler against me, but I’ll be damned if I will let you brow beat or blackmail me into submitting to you.” She reached across the table, grabbing his still full cup. In a slow, deliberate act of what she knew to be petty rebellion, she tipped the coffee out over his head, at that point no longer caring if the liquid was still hot or had cooled off.
As a stunned silence settled over the room, Naomi turned and stalked out of the coffee shop without another word.
Chapter Three
She’d done it. She’d actually done it. Naomi shook as she walked down the street toward her car. Of all the men she’d thought she could trust, Jake had been the only one she’d been able to turn to since the crash. Now, god, now she’d seen him for the jerk he really was.
More than a jerk, a dangerous man who had used her situation as a way to try and maneuver her into doing something that would have destroyed her relationship with her husband. How many other women had he done this to? Had he used weak points as a way to creep into their lives?
The thought left her stomach knotted.
She fumbled for her cell phone, then stopped. Who would she call? No, she needed to take a minute to think this through. She really did have her diary and, if she truly had to, then she could show it to others to prove what had happened. The progression of events to this moment, were all laid out, in intimate detail, on those pages. If Jake did try and confront Tyler, then at least she’d have the proof to back up her words.
Take a breath, calm, focus and go home. Seemed easy, but it could all backfire on her so easily that it left her shaking. If Tyler found out from Jake, then it would all be over.
The answer was simple enough. Get home, now, before Jake called Tyler, and see if she could head any situation off at the pass. Or that was the theory.
Naomi slipped into the driver’s seat and locked the car door. Everything had changed in the past couple of years. Not just the way Tyler had been injured, or the way they had tried to adapt after the accident, but her outlook on life. As his submissive she’d leaned on him, heavily but, then again, they had only just begun their journey together as dominant and submissive.
Since the accident she’d been the strength for them both.
The balance that she’d heard of, dreamed of, and craved, had to be found for them both. It was the only hope they had, if they wanted this to work.
Tyler would be waiting for her, but there were a few items she needed to pick up before she returned home, especially if she wanted to make this time together special, in any way, for them both. She had the memories of what they had shared, and knew how to turn this around, or at least work on it from her side. If she put the effort in, then it would help. It would show him she was serious about this.
About them.
*****
“I wasn’t sure you’d be back in time.” Tyler’s voice greeted her, before she’d even closed the front door behind her. “I was beginning to be a little worried. Is everything all right?”
“I’m sorry. I took a little time to pick up a few things on the way home.” She lifted up the small plastic bag. “Just some nice bubble bath and a small bottle of the scent you prefer. I just had an idea that it might help add to whatever you have planned for the night.”
Tyler smiled and leaned back in his chair. The small tension lines about his eyes faded as he looked at the bag. “I thought it was something like that.”
“I should have called, though,” Naomi admitted, and hung her coat up before she walked fully into the living room. “Did you still want to go through with tonight? I mean, if you’ve changed your mind…”
“Oh god. Yes love, of course I want to do this. You’ve no idea just how much I’ve been looking forward to this. I should have thought about trying this, months ago. I just guess, I thought you’d not want to do anything with me. Not with how I look now.” Tears glittered in his deep brown eyes. “You don’t deserve me, or this. You should have left me a year ago. I keep asking myself what I’ve done to deserve you in my life.”
Her heart skipped a beat, and she cleared the room to kneel at his side. “Tyler, please don’t think that. You’ve no idea how much I have missed our evenings together.” She settled down close to his chair, her thighs pressed tightly together as she settled back on her heels.
“You never mentioned that. I had nothing to go on.” Tyler shook his head. “We’ve both been left to swim in the dark.”
“Tyler, can’t you see that I’ve been afraid to bring it up? What if you weren’t ready to try, or what if discussing the past had brought up some bad memories for you? I wasn’t sure what to do, except be here for you when you needed me.” She leaned into his touch and, for the first time in two years, didn’t cringe from the touch of his crippled hand.
“We both needed to remember how to communicate with each other again.” He tried to brush his hand across her face, then pulled back. “I’m sorry, love. Maybe I’m not ready for this after all. Not if I’ve forgotten how to even talk to you. I could hurt you. I’ve already hurt us both.”
“What’s wrong?” She looked up at him and reached for a tissue from her pocket. “You’re crying, Tyler. Talk to me, please. We can work this out between us. You just have to trust in yourself.”
“I can’t feel you. I can reach out, touch you, make my hand move in the general direction of your face, your body but, even though I know I’m touching your skin, I can’t feel it.” He sobbed the words, shaking his hand, and then slumping a little in his chair. “What good am I if I can’t feel you? If I can’t even enjoy the sensation of my hand touching your body?”
Naomi reached for his hand and pulled it against her breasts. “I can feel it, though. I know you’re there, touching me, wanting to hold me. Don’t you know how much that means to me? I know it’s hard for you, but I’m begging you, Tyler. Please try. We can do this, I know we can. Just believe in yourself. Believe in us.”
Tyler shuddered as he took a deep breath.
Would her words be enough to convince him? She had to hope they would be. This was the last chance they had. She could hear that in his voice, see it in his tears, feel it in her heart. They had to do this, before they both chickened out.
How close had she come to ruining everything, to destroying any hope Tyler might have been able to muster. Just one night, one scene with Jake, and it would have been over. What a fool she had been. No, a coward. She’d known the answer for a long time, and been too afraid to take that step.
The time for fear was over.
The time for risks, leaps of faith,
was now.
“I know you’re afraid of this going wrong but, if we both try, then it can work. You have to believe that.” She left his hand against her breasts and reached out, touching the side of his face with her fingers. “I love you. I trust you. And I believe in you. I’m just asking you to have faith in yourself.”
“I know.”
“Then we do this.”
“All right. Yes, you’re right. If I don’t – no, if we don’t try this now, then there will be always something else that comes up, that stops us.” Tyler nodded and pulled his hand back away from her body. “Thank you. For everything.”
“I’ll go run my bath.” Naomi stood up slowly. “Do you need any help? I can stay and help you first if you need me to.”
“No, I can do this myself. That’s part of the challenge isn’t it?” A glimmer of pride shimmered in his eyes. “Part of trying to return to normal?”
“Yes, it is. But there’s nothing wrong in me giving you a helping hand.”
“Naomi, if I’m going to do this, then I’m going to do this the right way.” His voice calm for the first time in months.
“Then we both have things we need to take care of.” Hope bloomed, taking root deep within.
“Yes we do. Enjoy your bath, love. I’ll be waiting in the bedroom when you’re ready.” Tyler closed the door on the bathroom, and left Naomi to her preparations. That had always been a part of their routine. She’d spend an hour in the bathroom, relaxing, centering her thoughts on service, submission, clearing away the stress of the day so she could serve him within whatever the scene dictated. Just what he did with his time, prior to the scene, she didn’t know. She’d never asked and he had never volunteered the information. That had always been one of those little hidden things about him, something that added to his presence as a dominant.
Naomi leaned against the sink and stared into the mirror. Her eyes were still touched by traces of red, and she knew full well that Tyler must have seen the signs of her tears, but he still hadn’t asked what had happened.
Perhaps it was just as well. The last thing they needed today would be going over Jake’s attempt to blackmail her. How had she been that stupid? To risk her marriage and – no, she had stopped it before it had ever reached that point, but she’d still thought about it. Debated betraying Tyler just so she could try and recapture that feeling of joy, the mixture of floating, fear and ecstasy all rolled one that she had come to know during the scenes she had enjoyed prior to the accident.
She shook her head and turned away from the sink. There were other things she needed to think about right now, and they didn’t include Jake. Or her foolish near mistake.
The water lapped along her legs as she slipped into the bath, soft bubbles caressing her skin, teasing a sigh from her lips. What a fool she had been. How close she had come to committing an error that would have destroyed everything she and Tyler had struggled through, and all because she had nearly given in to temptation. Worse, it would have been with a man who cared nothing for what she felt, except to see those needs, those emotions, as way to twist her to his current interests.
Abusive, that was the first thing that came to mind now when she thought about the man she had thought to be a friend. He was just using women like that, taking advantage of their desire to submit, to explore those cravings. It wasn’t being a dominant, not in the way she had come to believe they were supposed to be. How often had she heard the warnings about trolling dominants? They slimed their way across the internet and real life, the dangerous ones being those who you never realized were like that until you’d been stung by them.
It explained so much about those odd looks people used to give them when Tyler spoke about being friends with Jake. A user, nothing but a user, and she had almost willingly become another one of his victims.
Almost, but not quite. If Tyler hadn’t offered her this evening together, if she hadn’t already had some doubts before going to meet Jake for coffee, if she …
There were a hundred what ifs that she didn’t have to face right now. No, thinking about Jake did no good, not when her husband would be waiting for her within their bedroom. She’d already let Jake cause far too many problems for Tyler and herself, and it was time to focus on the important things in life. Her eyes drifted closed, as she finally relaxed into the welcoming warmth of the bath.
The silken water caressed her body, as she felt the tension begin to ease from her body.
How many times had she prepared for a night with Tyler this way?
A hundred? A thousand? She couldn’t recall off hand, but the information would be in her journal, if she really wanted to be certain. And each scene had been different. In some small way special -- a touch of scent added, the drop of candle wax on her body at an unexpected moment or a slap of his fingertips against the side of her breasts.
Naomi squirmed in the water and opened her eyes.
Her nipples crinkled and peeked out through the soft white mess of bubbles that covered the surface of the bath. He never entered the bathroom during her preparation time, just as she didn’t try to sneak a look at his ritual. It had been the only secret between them until today.
A cold hand wrapped about her heart.
Lying, hiding, keeping secrets, how many times had she told newcomers to the Munches, the non play events that so many groups held, that the fastest way of ruining a D/s relationship involved making those mistakes?
Stupid little slut. I nearly ruined everything, and for what, so I could feel a man between my legs again?
She glanced at the closed door.
Tyler deserved to know the truth. But not until after tonight. Whatever he had set up, he had gone to great lengths to plan, and he deserved the chance to enjoy this time without her destroying everything in one fell swoop.
But after that, even if it meant he never wanted to speak to her again, she needed to tell him the truth.
No secrets, no lies, and the only way she could be sure of that would be by clearing her chest of everything that had been going on.
Chapter Four
Candles flickered on the bedside tables, the only source of light within their room, just as it had been that first night together fifteen years ago. There were memories, both good and bad, that lived within this room. The pain and pleasure they had shared during those wonderful nights. The feel of his hand cracking against her bare ass when they had begun to walk within the realms of dominance and submission. The trust she had given him, slowly at first, when she had surrendered to the bonds he had wrapped about her body.
Naomi shivered and wrapped her arms about her body. The thin, cream, silken robe clung to her still-damp form, as she looked around the room.
Despite the chair, Tyler had done everything possible to set the bedroom up in the same way he’d always done before when they’d played, before the accident. Memories surged into life only to return to silence at the sound of his voice. Warmth seeped into her heart. Yes, this was what she had missed, or a part of it at least. The first step. The first of many.
“There’s something I need to say, before we go any further. Something I need to get off my chest.” Tyler moved across the room in the chair. The soft motor of the chair little more than a hum in the background, but it served as a reminder of the small things that had been changed in the room. The rug’s had been removed, leaving the highly-polished hardwood floor. “You might change your mind about tonight, when you hear what I have to say, but we said no secrets between us.”
Her heart sank into the pit of her stomach.
“What is it?” She turned and met his gaze.
“Jake isn’t welcome in this house again.”
“You know about him.” Her heart skipped and beat and threatened to plummet into the pit of her stomach. “Oh, god.”
“I know he’s been making moves on you, yes.” Tyler nodded. “I’ve known Jake for a long time. I’m surprised he waited as long as he did, but I knew it would come sooner or later. You�
�re vulnerable, and that’s how he likes his women. God, I was a fool to ever trust him, even for a moment. I should have warned you, protected you, but I didn’t have the strength to look after you.”
“I never did anything with him, I swear.” She wanted to move to him, but her legs wouldn’t work. “I never…”
“I know. And you never will. Not after what you pulled on him today. Dumping a cup of coffee in his lap? Nice, very nice indeed. He deserved it. I just wish I had been there to see it happen.”
“How did you know what he was doing – or what happened earlier?” How much else did he know? Had he been aware of this from the very beginning?
Tyler chuckled and ducked his head. “He called to tell me what had happened.”
“That’s why you were upset.” Everything fell into place. Jake had called him. How much had he told Tyler? “Oh god. Why didn’t you say something earlier? I’m so very sorry. I should have come to you, talked to you about this. I just – just don’t understand why you didn’t say something to me sooner. When I first came home. I thought - I don’t know what I thought, anymore.”
“I needed to get my thoughts in place. You weren’t to blame for what he tried to do and, at the end of it, you dumped hot coffee onto his lap and walked away from him. And, for that, I want to say thank you.”
She blinked, and took a step back. “You want to thank me? I don’t understand.”
“Yes, thank you. For staying with me. For not leaving me. For not going with Jake or someone else. Thank you isn’t enough. Not after what I’ve put you through. You would have had every right to walk out on me. On us. On everything, after the things I’ve called you.”
“The accident wasn’t your fault. You shouldn’t think it was. There was nothing you could have done to prevent it.”
“I know that now. It took me a while to accept, but I know that now.”
Her body finally co-operated, releasing the death grip on her legs, and allowed her to move to his chair. Without a word she sank to her knees and pressed her head against his lap. “I’m sorry. For what I did, what I almost did, I’m sorry.”
