Beneath This Man (This Man Trilogy)

by Jodi Ellen Malpas

Oh, I forgot about that. How could I. ‘I was looking for something.’

  He frowns. ‘What?’ he asks, but I detect a hint of cautiousness.

  I study him, assessing his expression and his body language. I can’t fathom it at all. ‘Nothing.’

  He turns me away from him and starts walking me to the bathroom with one hand on my elbow and another cupping my bum. His lack of curiosity as to what I was looking for has only heightened my suspicions. He would never usually accept such a vague answer to one of his questions.

  ‘What did you tell Patrick?’ I ask as he lifts me onto the vanity unit.

  ‘I told him that you passed out on Saturday and put your back out.’

  Oh? Good thinking. ‘Did he not think it strange that you called him?’

  ‘I don’t know and I don’t really care.’ He starts drawing a bath and comes back over to me. ‘Look what you’ve done to your beautiful body.’ he says quietly, gazing over my shoulder to my bare back in the reflection of the mirror. ‘I won’t be taking you on your back for a while.’

  A wave of disappointment travels through me as I glance over my shoulder. ‘Is that it?’ I blurt incredulously. I feel like I’ve been skinned alive and all I’ve got to show for my torture are a few long, red welts and one with a sliver of dried blood.

  ‘What do you mean, is that it?’ He sounds angry.

  I drag my eyes away from my pitiful wounds on a scowl and look at Jesse, who is displaying a similar expression to mine, but probably fiercer. I grab his hips. ‘Turn around.’ I order as I push him to guide his reluctant, lean body away from me. His back comes into view and I gasp. Now that’s what I’m talking about. He has double the amount of lash marks, more blood and generally more to show for the shitty day we had yesterday. ‘See, yours are better than mine.’

  What am I saying?

  He flies back around and I just about manage to release his waist before I’m dragged off the unit and onto the floor. He pins me with an incensed stare and grabs the tops of my arms, shaking me slightly. ‘Shut up, Ava!’

  ‘Sorry!’ The word flies out my mouth without much prompt. Why am I talking such rubbish? ‘It just hurts so much. I thought it would look a lot worse than that.’

  ‘It’s fucking bad enough!’ He drops me and returns to the bath, pouring in some lavender oil and swishing the water with his hand.

  That really was a stupid thing to say. I deserved that. ‘I said, I’m sorry.’ I grumble, but he ignores me.

  I cock my head to the side and admire his firm nakedness as I swing my legs and roll my shoulders in an attempt to work some flex back into them. I need to relax. I can feel my muscles knotting across my shoulders. I sit patiently on the vanity unit while Jesse goes about getting towels and the shampoo and conditioner, setting them on the side of the bath before collecting up the mess I’ve made. He does it all in complete silence, not looking at me once. He knows what I’ve been looking for.

  ‘Off .’ He offers his hand and an expectant face, but I decline and slide off the unit with care, removing my knickers and taking myself to the bath. I step in and gingerly lower myself into the stinging water. I ignore the grunt of disapproval that Jesse fires off at my rejection. I’m too busy clenching my teeth and concentrating on getting myself under the water which soon starts soothing rather than stabbing at my back. I lay back and close my eyes on an appreciative sigh.

  I can feel him watching me. I open one eye and I’m met by two eyebrows kissing his hairline as he jerks his head in a move gesture. I make a point of demonstrating the inconvenience he’s causing me by taking my time and huffing a lot as I shift forward in the bath to make room for him. I don’t know why I’m being insolent. Well, I do. I’m pissed that my war wounds are pitiful compared to Jesse’s and I’m the one wincing, hissing and generally behaving like I’ve been stoned whilst naked.

  He climbs in and sinks down behind me, without so much as a huff of discomfort as the water coats his back. He clasps his hands over my shoulders and gently tugs, easing me back against him. ‘Don’t fight me.’ He bites my ear, and I squirm. His legs bend up and he wraps his arms around my neck so I’m completely swathed in him.

  Right then. Now for the tub talk.

  I rest my head back against his shoulder and relish his morning stubble grazing the side of my face. ‘So, Steve is out on his arse?’ I ask coolly.

  ‘Gone.’

  ‘No questions asked?’

  ‘Not one, except whether he would prefer burial or cremation.’ he says sardonically, and I believe him. His answer, although brutal and a tad over-the-top, is just the response I was hoping for. ‘Am I hurting you?’ he asks.

  ‘No, I’m fine.’ I assure him. He squeezes a little harder, but our slippery bodies are preventing the drag of skin. ‘So, does the same apply to Sarah?’

  BOOM!

  He pauses mid-nuzzle, and I continue my slow, feathery circles of his thighs with my index fingers, as if I haven’t just said that. What’s good for the goose and all that, plus, Steve has no sexual interest in me. Sarah, quite clearly, has an active interest in Jesse and as my thick skinned man seems to be oblivious to her romantic pursuit, it’s down to me to instigate damage control.

  ‘What has Sarah got to do with this?’ He sounds really perplexed.

  If he could see me, he would see a screwed up face of disbelief. He cannot be serious. I must not lose my head. ‘She hurt you.’

  ‘I asked her to.’

  ‘I asked Steve to.’ I counter calmly.

  ‘Yes, but Steve knew you were off limits, that you are mine. He crossed a clear line that I drew and not just with who he practiced his shit on, but also how he carried it out, although the former is my ultimate bone of contention.’ He bites my earlobe to make sure I know he means me. Who else? ‘He accepted a whip from someone he hadn’t met before and never even clarified the limits. You could have been mentally unstable for all he knew.’

  ‘I probably was at that specific moment.’ I mutter. ‘And anyway, you’re mine. You’re off limits too, you know.’

  ‘I know.’ he says softly. ‘I know, baby. Never again, but I think you’ve demonstrated your grievance with Sarah.’ he adds sarcastically.

  I smile smugly. Yes, I have, but I still want her out on her arse. ‘So, you’re not getting rid of her?’ I ask, although, begrudgingly, I already know the answer to that question.

  ‘She’s an employee and a close friend. I can’t sack her for doing something I asked her to, Ava.’

  I sigh heavily, blatantly wanting him to be aware that I’m not happy about this. A friend? A close friend? ‘She planned it, Jesse.’

  ‘What do you mean, she planned it?’

  ‘The text that I got from John.’

  ‘What text?’

  ‘The one she sent from John’s phone saying I should go to The Manor.’ I’m going to get nowhere with this, I know it.

  ‘You think Sarah lifted John’s phone and sent you a text?’

  ‘Yes!’

  ‘Don’t be daft!’

  ‘I’m not being daft!’ I screech. ‘I have it on my phone, I’ll show you.’

  ‘Ava, Sarah wouldn’t do that.’

  Oh, please! She’s supposed to be his friend. He obviously doesn’t know her very well. I’ve had the pleasure of her for only a month-ish, and I worked her out within a second of meeting her. He is so thick skinned. ‘Do you think I imagined it?’

  ‘No, I’m thinking that you were drugged on Saturday night and maybe you’ve made a mistake.’ he says all soothingly. I don’t appreciate it. I didn’t bloody imagine it!

  ‘I’ll show you.’ I sound like a stroppy teenager. ‘She wants you.’

  ‘Well she can’t have me, she knows that. I belong to you.’ He presses his lips to the side of my face.

  ‘You do.’ I huff, pushing my cheek into his kiss.

  This is a bit difficult. Jesse is right; he can’t dismiss her from his employment for doing something that he asked her to do, whic
h absolutely stinks because I can’t imagine he would be of the same opinion if the boot was on the other foot. My only comfort is the knowledge that Jesse has absolutely no interest in her and of that, I am completely sure. I’m not going to burden him with my bitchy streak. I will reserve that for Sarah when necessary, and for all of the other women who are lacking any self-respect. Damage control will be tricky when there are so many of these bloody leeches. I’m pissed that he can’t see her for what she is.

  ‘Lean forward so I can bathe your back.’ He pushes me forward by my shoulders, and I reluctantly sit up. ‘I’ll be gentle.’

  ‘I like you rough.’ I say cheekily.

  ‘Ava, don’t say things like that when I’m in no position to violate you.’ he scorns me, and gently squeezes the sponge over my back. He drops tender kisses wherever he can between his delicate strokes, and I close my eyes dreamily. It’s so easy to forget the challenges when he’s like this. ‘Let’s get your hair washed.’

  I let him bathe me, wash my hair and generally tend to my every bath time need before he wraps me in a towel and lays me on the bed. ‘This might be a bit cold.’ he says as he straddles my bum and squeezes some cream onto my back. My shoulder blades fly up and tense. ‘Shhhhh,’ he hushes me. ‘You won’t be doing this again, will you?’ he teases as he starts dabbing the cream in gently.

  ‘I will if you do.’ I grumble, burying my face in the pillow, sending a small prayer to God that he won’t.

  He starts small, tender strokes across my back, getting me used to the friction before working the cream into the welts once I’ve relaxed a bit more. It’s not bad at all. The warm fluidity of his big hands gliding all over my back soon becomes hypnotising, and I’m more than aware of something hard and moist probing at my lower back. I smile to myself. He will never keep his hands off me for long, and I hope he doesn’t. But he’ll be wearing a condom.

  I’m massaged until all of the tightness has been rubbed away and my back feels something closer to normalcy.

  ‘Hello?’

  Both of our heads snap up at the sound of Cathy’s voice drifting into the room.

  ‘Shit!’ Jesse curses, jumping up from my body. ‘I forgot to call Cathy.’ He disappears into the wardrobe and reappears in some jeans and a pale blue t-shirt. ‘Up you get.’ He grasps my waist and pulls me from the mattress. ‘I need to feed you.’

  ‘I’m not hungry.’

  ‘You will eat. Your stomach must be completely empty after you released the contents of it all over my office floor.’

  I cringe. ‘I’m sorry.’ I wonder who got the pleasure of clearing that up. Sarah, I hope.

  ‘Don’t be sorry. Get some clothes on. I’ll meet you in the kitchen.’ He kisses me chastely and leaves me to sort myself out.

  I roll my shoulders. His magic hands really are quite magic. I feel heaps better. I set about drying my hair and throwing my old soft, ripped jeans on and a white oversized t-shirt that won’t grip my back too much before making my way downstairs.

  ‘Good morning, Ava.’ Cathy smiles kindly as she looks up from loading the dishwasher.

  I lift myself up on the stool next to Jesse and he leans over to inhale my freshly washed hair. ‘Hi, Cathy, how are you?’ I beat him away, and he growls at me before wiping a blob of peanut butter across my bottom lip. My tongue automatically sets about clearing it away. ‘Oh, God!’ I screw my face up in distaste and he laughs before pulling me closer and licking it away for me.

  ‘Yum.’ He smiles and plants a wet peanut butter flavoured kiss on my lips. I wipe my mouth and return my attention back to Cathy, finding her regarding our little exchange with a small smile on her thin lips. I blush profusely.

  ‘I’m very well, Ava. Would you like some breakfast? Salmon?’

  ‘Oh, yes please.’ I say gratefully and she nods her head, wipes her hands on her crisp, white apron and heads for the fridge. I glance around the kitchen and see all of my mess has been cleared up.

  ‘We have some news, Cathy.’ Jesse chirps up.

  We do?

  He’s surely not going to be advising her of the last few days’ events? I turn a frown on him, but he ignores me. ‘Ava will soon be Mrs Ward.’

  My mouth falls open, but he still ignores me. Blimey Christ. I’d forgotten about that. How could I?

  ‘Oh, how wonderful!’ Cathy places the eggs and salmon on the island and makes her way around to clench me into a tight squeeze. ‘Oh, I’m so happy.’ she sings in my ear. I clench my teeth as she makes a meal of rubbing my back while I’m still sat on the stool. She pulls back and wraps her palms around my face. ‘I can’t tell you how happy that makes me. He’s a good boy.’ She lands a sloppy kiss on my cheek and releases me. ‘Come here, you.’ She takes Jesse in an equally enthusiastic hug and he accepts willingly, with no sign of a hiss or wince. He looks at me over Cathy’s shoulder as I gape at him.

  After the events of last night, I had – quite mistakenly, it would seem – assumed that matter was up for review. My ring has disappeared from my finger and when he asked me if I would still marry him, I had said I couldn’t. Don’t we need to figure out the boat load of shit that has developed over the weekend? Our insecurities, Sarah, Coral, Mikael…

  He has completely disregarded me. I’ve not even spoken to my parents yet. If I am marrying this challenging arse, then they should know first.

  ‘My boy is finally settling down.’ Cathy squeezes his cheeks and lands him with a kiss to match my own. She is behaving like a proud mother. It makes me wonder about the history of Cathy and Jesse’s relationship. It seems to be more than an employee/employer concern. She releases Jesse from her slightly wrinkled hands and pulls her apron up to wipe her eyes on a sniffle. She’s crying?

  ‘Cathy, stop that!’ Jesse admonishes her.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ She composes herself and returns to preparing breakfast with a wide smile on her face. ‘So, where and when?’

  I cringe and reach over for the coffee pot. This is where the fireworks might start flying.

  ‘Next month at The Manor.’ Jesse informs her confidently.

  I clank the coffee pot against the side of the mug and then swing me eyes onto Jesse. ‘Really?’ I am not getting married at The Manor! Is he winding me up? Oh God, I’ve come over all sweaty at the thought of my parents roaming around the building and grounds. Would they work it out?

  ‘Really.’ he counters coolly. It hasn’t taken long for the challenging arse who drives me insane to return.

  ‘How lovely.’ Cathy chirps.

  My eyes fly from Jesse to her. Does she know what The Manor is? I feel like I’m in the twilight zone.

  ‘It will be.’ Jesse agrees. He screws the lid of the peanut butter back onto the jar and starts picking at the label, ignoring my stunned expression, which is firmly rooted on his profile. I watch as he looks at me out the corner of his eye and starts chewing his lip as he rolls up a piece of the label and flicks it onto the worktop.

  I exhale slowly in an attempt to cool my fraying patience and grab the small piece of rubbish from the marble. What happened to discussing our wedding together?

  Lowering myself from the stool, I head for the bin, just for something to do other than kick him in the shins. I pause behind him and push my mouth to his ear. ‘Who are you marrying?’ I ask quietly, before I carry on my way to the bin.

  ‘Compensation.’ he growls. ‘I’ll trample, Ava.’

  ‘Pardon?’ Cathy turns from the hob.

  ‘Nothing.’ we say in unison, before our scowls collide in the space between us. The hostility emanating from his body is palpable. This weekend has just proved that we need to be focusing our attentions on other more important issues, like filling each other with the reassurance that we both obviously need.

  I stamp on the bin pedal and throw my miniscule piece of rubbish in, but something glimmers at me from the dark depths, catching my eye. I reach in on a frown and pull out one half of a silver and white card. It’s a wedding invitation.
I turn it around and tilt my head before looking back into the bin. I retrieve the other half and hold them together.

  Mr & Mrs Henry Ward request the pleasure of your company to the wedding of their daughter, Miss Amalie Ward, to Dr David Garcia.

  Oh God!

  The invitation is swiped from my grasp and stuffed back in the bin, and I’m yanked back over to the kitchen island in a complete daze. ‘Sit.’ he demands in that tone – the one that I know not to ignore. I’m lifted onto a stool with care, and I look up to find a ticking jaw and bulging neck muscles.

  ‘Your sister?’ I ask quietly.

  ‘Leave it.’ he warns without looking at me.

  My mind starts racing. We haven’t spoken about his parents much, but what I do know is that he hasn’t seen them for years. Is that their choice or Jesse’s? If they are sending him an invitation to his sister’s wedding, then I’m guessing it must be Jesse’s. With the added clue of a sabotaged invite strewn without thought into the bin, it most certainly is Jesse’s choice. I study his profile, but dare not say a word.

  ‘Here you are.’ Cathy presents me and Jesse with our breakfast and then stuffs a duster in the front of her apron. ‘I’ll leave you to eat in peace.’

  ‘Thank you, Cathy.’ Jesse says with zero gratitude.

  I can’t even speak. I start picking at the edges of my salmon bagel in an awkward silence and after an eternity of quiet, I finally relent and lower myself from my stool.

  ‘Where are you going?’ he asks shortly.

  ‘Upstairs.’ I make my way from the kitchen, leaving my breakfast untouched. Jesse and the constant challenges surrounding him are doing my appetite no favours.

  ‘Ava, don’t walk away from me.’ he threatens. I ignore him. ‘Ava!’

  I swing around. ‘You are more than crazy mad if you think I’m marrying you, Jesse.’ I say calmly before leaving a face full of hurt in the kitchen. I half expect to get tackled to the ground, but much to my complete surprise – and worry – I’m allowed to leave the kitchen, taking myself up to the master-suite without so much as a countdown or a Jesse style sense fuck. I’m delicate at the moment so no manhandling is possible. It’s probably killing him.