My Husband Next Door

by Catherine Alliott

  She took a deep breath. ‘Thank you so very much, monsieur, for saving my life. I will be for ever grateful to you and thank you from the bottom of my ’eart.’

  She’d clearly practised this small, foreign speech on the plane with a little help from her mother, and it was delivered charmingly. An elderly couple beside us turned to smile. James took the hand she offered, bowing his head slightly and smiling, for who could not be enchanted?

  ‘Mon plaisir,’ he told her.

  Courtesies having been observed, Mme de Bouvoir then kissed James lightly on both cheeks three times. She briefly air-kissed me – only once, I noticed, as I lunged for the second – and then, as a socking great pile of Louis Vuitton suitcases were wheeled towards her by one of her chunky attendants, she sashayed out of the concourse ahead of the trolley, bestowing one last lovely smile and a flutter of her sparkling hand.

  James and I gave her a moment to get through customs, where no doubt she’d be met by a man in a uniform, before we waddled out with our bags.

  ‘Great. You know exactly what that will be, don’t you?’ muttered James.

  ‘What?’ I said, knowing already: even now regretting it.

  ‘Some poncy restaurant we’ve been to a million times already. We’ll have to sit there pretending we never go anywhere smart and endure a lengthy, excruciating meal, which we’re force fed anyway on a regular basis.’

  ‘Not necessarily,’ I said, with a sinking feeling. I grabbed my old blue bag as it threatened to slide off the trolley.

  ‘We’re probably going there tonight!’ he yelped.

  I avoided looking at him, stopping instead to look in my handbag for my passport. James froze beside me.

  ‘Dear God, I was joking. Please tell me we’re not out tonight, Flora. I’m knackered.’

  ‘We have to, James. I’ve got to get the review in by tomorrow.’

  ‘You’re not serious.’

  ‘I am.’

  ‘Jesus.’

  ‘How else d’you think we’re going to pay for that bloody holiday? Shit. Where’s my passport?’ I delved in my bag.

  ‘I’ve got it.’ He produced it from his breast pocket. ‘Where are we going?’

  ‘Somewhere in Soho, I think. Oh yes, Fellino’s. I have a feeling Gordon Ramsay’s trying to take it over and he’s resisting.’

  ‘Hasn’t he got enough bloody restaurants? Have you texted Amelia?’

  ‘Yes, and she’s outside whingeing about us being late. Apparently, we should have let her know the plane was ten minutes delayed. As if I haven’t sat for enough hours in that wretched car park waiting for her.’

  ‘Can’t you ask Maria to put it in next week’s edition? Say you’ll go tomorrow?’

  ‘I’ve tried, but apparently Colin’s already let her down. He was supposed to do the new Marco Pierre but he’s got a sore throat, so someone’s got to do one.’

  ‘Oh great, so Colin’s got his excuse in first, as usual.’

  I ignored him. We were both very tired.

  ‘You could google the menu on the web? Write the review from that? Say how delicious the tiddled-up turbot was?’

  ‘Oh, good idea. Like I did at Le Caprice, only, unfortunately, the turbot was off that night, and the scallops, both of which I’d waxed lyrical about. I’d rather keep what remains of my job, if it’s all the same to you.’

  ‘But you know Fellino. Can’t you ring him and ask what the special is? See what he recommends for tonight?’

  ‘It’s fine, I’ll go on my own.’

  ‘No, no, I’ll come,’ he grumbled. ‘Blinking heck. Who goes out for dinner the night they get back from holiday?’

  ‘We do, if we’re going to go on holiday at all,’ I said with a flash of venom. There was the briefest of pauses. James’s voice, when it came, was light, but it had the timbre of metal.

  ‘Ah yes, forgive me. For a moment there I thought I was the successful alpha male in this partnership. The high-earning surgeon with a career on a meteoric rise to the stars, providing for his family.’

  Heroically, I held my tongue as, tight-lipped, we followed the other weary travellers down the corridor to the escalator. We climbed aboard wordlessly, passed through Passport Control, then trundled out through Nothing to Declare.

  We donned our wellies and trudged through the mud to catch up with Catherine about reading, writing and life in the country …

  Q: It’s been twenty years since your first book was published. What changes over the years have affected your stories since then?

  A: Over the years my books have included a wider age group of characters: I’m writing about grannies, mothers, teenagers – all sorts!

  Q: Which book have you found most challenging to write?

  A: One Day in May was probably the most challenging to write. I knew very little about the Bosnian war and had to do quite a lot of research, which was pretty harrowing. I had no idea …

  Q: How have your protagonists changed and developed since you started writing?

  A: Since I started writing twenty-three years ago my protagonists have definitely got older! Perhaps a little less scatty, but then again, perhaps not.

  Q: How do you choose your characters’ names?

  A: I’m going so fast I just chuck anything in and think – I’ll change that later. Unfortunately by the end I can’t think of Mavis as anything other than Mavis, so it sticks.

  Q: What book are you reading right now?

  A: I found a John le Carré in my son’s room; it’s called Our Kind of Traitor. V. good. I read anything that’s lying around.

  Q: If you couldn’t be a writer, what would you like to be?

  A: A painter – as in artist, not decorator.

  Q: When you need to escape from your everyday routine, what do you do?

  A: Light the fire, watch daytime TV and eat chocolate.

  Q: What is your favourite food?

  A: In – macaroni cheese. Out – Dover sole.

  Q: What would your super power be?

  A: I’d like to be able to imagine supper – and there it is, on the table. Oh, and all cleared away, too.

  Q: What is your idea of perfect happiness?

  A: So corny. All my children plus boyfriends, girlfriends, any other friends and of course my husband, eating around the same table. Or actually, a table somewhere hot, on holiday, abroad, i.e. without me having to cook. Oh – and grandparents too.

  Q: What is the trait you most deplore in others?

  A: Deplore. Golly. Quite strong. Well, I’m not mad about bad manners, which come in many guises.

  Q: When did you last cry and why?

  A: Two weeks ago, at Badminton Horse Trials, watching a great friend’s daughter jump round the cross-country course. Amazing. I’ve known her since she was seven.

  Q: What has been your most embarrassing moment?

  A: I suppose it has to be when I fell in the freezer in Safeway on the King’s Road many years ago, a scene which later featured in The Old-Girl Network.

  Q: What single thing would improve the quality of your life?

  A: Training our Border Terrier not to fight other dogs and not to chase deer. I sound like a fishwife in the woods.

  Q: What do you consider your greatest achievement?

  A: Training our last Border Terrier. (Up to a point. She really did hate poodles.)

  Q: What is under your bed?

  A: So much embarrassing rubbish. Old sofa cushions, bags of material I intend to make into things and never do, loads of old clothes, a broken lamp, stacks of paperbacks I’ve run out of space for on the shelves, the odd mousetrap … I could go on.

  Q: What is the most important lesson life has taught you?

  A: Try to laugh it off.

  Discover Catherine’s Other Books …

  The Old-Girl Network

  Finding true love’s a piece of cake – as long as you’re looking for someone else’s true love …

  Polly McLaren is young, scatty and impossibly rom
antic. She works for an arrogant and demanding boss, and has a gorgeous if never-there-when-you-need-him boyfriend. But the day a handsome stranger recognizes her old school scarf, her life is knocked completely off kilter.

  Adam is American, new to the country and begs Polly’s help in finding his missing fiancée. Over dinner at the Savoy, she agrees – the girls of St Gertrude’s look out for one another. However, the old-girl network turns out to be a spider’s web of complications and deceit in which everyone and everything Polly cares about is soon hopelessly entangled.

  The course of true love never did run smooth. But no one said anything about ruining your life over it. And it’s not even Polly’s true love …

  Going Too Far

  ‘You’ve gone all fat and complacent because you’ve got your man, haven’t you?’

  Polly Penhalligan is outraged at the suggestion that, since getting married to Nick and settling into their beautiful manor farmhouse in Cornwall, she has let herself go. But watching a lot of telly, gorging on biscuits, not getting dressed until lunchtime and waiting for pregnancy to strike are not the signs of someone living an active and fulfilled life.

  So Polly does something rash. She allows her home to be used as a location for a TV advert. Having a glamorous film crew around will certainly put a bomb under the idyllic, rural life. Only perhaps she should have consulted Nick first.

  Because before the cameras have even started to roll – and complete chaos descends on the farm – Polly’s marriage has been turned upside down. This time she really has gone too far …

  The Real Thing

  Every girl’s got one – that old boyfriend they never quite fell out of love with …

  Tessa Hamilton’s thirty, with a lovely husband and home, two adorable kids, and not a care in the world. Sure, her husband ogles the nanny more than she should allow. And keeping up with the Joneses is a full-time occupation. But she’s settled and happy. No seven-year itch for Tessa.

  Except at the back of her mind is Patrick Cameron. Gorgeous, moody, rebellious, he’s the boy she met when she was seventeen. The boy her vicar-father told her she couldn’t see and who left to go to Italy to paint. The boy she’s not heard from in twelve long years.

  And now he’s back.

  Questioning every choice, every decision she’s made since Patrick left, Tessa is about to risk her family and everything she has become to find out whether she did the right thing first time round …

  Rosie Meadows Regrets …

  ‘Tell me, Alice, how does a girl go about getting a divorce these days?’

  Three years ago Rosie walked blindly into marriage with Harry. They have precisely nothing in common except perhaps their little boy, Ivo. Not that Harry pays him much attention, preferring to spend his time with his braying upper-class friends.

  But the night that Harry drunkenly does something unspeakable, Rosie decides he’s got to go. In between fantasizing about how she might bump him off, she takes the much more practical step of divorcing this blight on her and Ivo’s lives.

  However, when reality catches up with her darkest fantasies, Rosie realizes, at long last, that it is time she took charge of her life. There’ll be no more regrets – and time, perhaps, for a little love.

  Olivia’s Luck

  ‘I don’t care what colour you paint the sodding hall. I’m leaving.’

  When her husband Johnny suddenly walks out on ten years of marriage, their ten-year-old daughter and the crumbling house they’re up to their eyeballs renovating, Olivia is, at first, totally devastated. How could he? How could she not have noticed his unhappiness?

  But she’s not one to weep for long.

  Not when she’s got three builders camped in her back garden, a neighbour with a never-ending supply of cast-off men she thinks Olivia would be drawn to and a daughter with her own firm views on … well, just about everything.

  Will Johnny ever come back? And if he doesn’t, will Olivia’s luck ever change for the better?

  A Married Man

  ‘What could be nicer than living in the country?’

  Lucy Fellowes is in a bind. She’s a widow living in a pokey London flat with two small boys and an erratic income. But, when her mother-in-law offers her a converted barn on the family’s estate, she knows it’s a brilliant opportunity for her and the kids.

  But there’s a problem. The estate is a shrine to Lucy’s dead husband, Ned. The whole family has been unable to get over his death. If she’s honest, the whole family is far from normal. And if Lucy is to accept this offer she’ll be putting herself completely in their incapable hands.

  Which leads to Lucy’s other problem. Charlie – the only man since Ned who she’s had any feelings for – lives nearby. The problem? He’s already married …

  The Wedding Day

  Annie O’Harran is getting married … all over again.

  A divorced, single mum, Annie is about to tie the knot with David. But there’s a long summer to get through first. A summer where she’s retreating to a lonely house in Cornwall, where she’s going to finish her book, spend time with her teenage daughter Flora and make any last-minute wedding plans.

  She should be so lucky.

  For almost as soon as Annie arrives, her competitive sister and her wild brood fetch up. Meanwhile, Annie’s louche ex-husband and his latest squeeze are holidaying nearby and insist on dropping in. Plus there’s the surprise American house guest who can’t help sharing his heartbreak.

  Suddenly, Annie’s big day seems a long, long way off – and if she’s not careful it might never happen …

  Not That Kind of Girl

  A girl can get into all kinds of trouble just by going back to work …

  Henrietta Tate gave up everything for her husband Marcus and their kids. But now that the children are away at school and she’s rattling round their large country house all day she’s feeling more than a little lost.

  So when a friend puts her in touch with Laurie, a historian in need of a PA, Henrietta heads for London. Quickly, she throws herself into the job. Marcus is – of course – jealous of her spending so much time with her charming new boss. And soon enough her absence causes cracks in their marriage that just can’t be papered over.

  Then Rupert, a very old flame, reappears, and Henrietta suddenly finds herself torn between three men. How did this happen? She’s not that kind of girl … is she?

  A Crowded Marriage

  There isn’t room in a marriage for three …

  Painter Imogen is happily married to Alex, and together they have a son. But when their finances hit rock bottom, they’re forced to accept Eleanor Latimer’s offer of a rent-free cottage on her large country estate. If it was anyone else, Imogen would be beaming with gratitude. Unfortunately, Eleanor just happens to be Alex’s beautiful, rich and flirtatious ex.

  From the moment she steps inside Shepherd’s Cottage, Imogen’s life is in chaos. In between coping with murderous chickens, mountains of manure and visits from the infuriating vet, she has to face Eleanor, now a fixture at Alex’s side.

  Is Imogen losing Alex? Will her precious family be torn apart?

  And whose fault is it really – Eleanor’s, Alex’s or Imogen’s?

  The Secret Life of Evie Hamilton

  Evie Hamilton has a secret. One she doesn’t even know about – yet …

  Evie’s an Oxfordshire wife and mum whose biggest worry in life is whether or not she can fit in a manicure on her way to fetch her daughter from clarinet lessons. But she’s blissfully unaware that her charmed and happy life is about to be turned upside down.

  For one sunny morning a letter lands on Evie’s immaculate doormat. It’s a bombshell, knocking her carefully arranged and managed world completely askew and threatening to sabotage all she holds dear.

  What will be left and what will change for ever? Is Evie strong enough to fight for what she loves? Can her entire world really be as fragile as her best china?

  One Day in May

&n
bsp; May is the month for falling in love …

  Hattie Carrington’s first love was as unusual as it was out of reach – Dominic Forbes was a married MP, and she was his assistant. She has never told anyone about it. And never really got over it.

  But years later with a flourishing antiques business and enjoying a fling with a sexy, younger man, she thinks her past is finally well and truly behind her.

  Until work takes her to Little Crandon, home of Dominic’s widow and his gorgeous younger brother, Hal. There Hattie’s world is turned upside down. She learns that if she’s to truly fall in love again she needs to stop hiding from the truth. Can she ever admit what really happened back then? And, if so, is she ready for the consequences?

  A Rural Affair

  ‘If I’m being totally honest I had fantasized about Phil dying.’

  When Poppy Shilling’s bike-besotted, Lycra-clad husband is killed in a freak accident, she can’t help feeling a guilty sense of relief. For at long last she’s released from a controlling and loveless marriage.

  Throwing herself wholeheartedly into village life, she’s determined to start over. And sure enough, everyone from Luke the sexy church-organist to Bob the resident oddball, is taking note.

  But just as she’s ready to dip her toes in the water, the discovery of a dark secret about her late husband shatters Poppy’s confidence. Does she really have the courage to risk her heart again? Because Poppy wants a lot more than just a rural affair …

  My Husband Next Door

  For better or worse …

  Ella was nineteen and madly in love when she married dashing young artist Sebastian Montclair. But that was a long time ago. Now Ella and the kids live in a ramshackle farmhouse while Sebastian and his paintings inhabit the outhouse next door – a family separated in every way but distance. Is it a marvellously modern relationship – or a disaster waiting to happen?