Yvvaros: The Clash of Worlds

by Alex Mulder

  I need to move on from this, and this seems as good of a way as any to get started.

  Luke walked over and took a seat at the bar, waving to the bartender to bring him a mug of ale.

  “Hey buddy,” he said. “How’s it going?”

  Silverstrike hiccupped, and looked at Luke, confused. Tess walked over and sat down on a stool on the other side of him.

  “Yo, Silverstrike.” Luke poked his unresponsive friend in the shoulder. “You okay?”

  “Oh… Kato.” Silverstrike shook his head and laughed. “Sorry, I’m going a bit overboard today.”

  “Yeah, you can say that again.” Luke frowned at Tess, who furrowed her brow.

  This doesn’t seem like it’s just from the in-game alcohol effects…

  The bartender set Luke’s ale down in front of him. He took only a tiny sip of it, finding that he wasn’t much in the mood for drinking anymore.

  “The Elemental Wells,” said Silverstrike. “Kaoru, uh… he said you found the first one?”

  Silverstrike’s cadence was slow, and labored. Luke scratched his head and nodded, wondering if there was something that he should say or do.

  “We actually just claimed the second one,” he said. “Only one left. What about you? What about the alliances, Silverstrike?”

  Should you really be in a bar when we need you as our ambassador, setting up treaties?

  “We’re almost done.” Silverstrike grinned at him and waved a finger in his face. “Kato, I’ve already made most of them. The big guilds are in. And yes, it was me, so take your self-righteousness and…”

  Silverstrike trailed off and took another swig of ale. Luke shrugged.

  “Good,” he said. “That’s really good, actually. Sorry, buddy, I didn’t mean to sound skeptical. I’m just… concerned.”

  Silverstrike saw something on Luke’s face and instantly transitioned back into seriousness. He finished his ale, shivering as he set the mug down, and then wiped his hand across his mouth.

  “Kaoru has gone undercover,” whispered Silverstrike. “He’s up in Kantor, dressed as an Arbiter.”

  Luke leaned in a bit closer, shielding their conversation from the other patrons.

  “Are you sure? Tess and I just teleported in through Kantor and we didn’t see any trace of him.”

  Silverstrike frowned.

  “Well obviously not. He’s undercover. And you shouldn’t take stupid risks like that, you know. Might as well just turn yourselves over to the Arbiters.”

  Tess blushed a bit, and Luke waved his hand and rolled his eyes.

  He is right about this, though. And Kaoru is taking that same risk.

  “I’m bringing some of the guild leaders together for a meeting early tomorrow,” said Silverstrike. “Can you hold off on heading for the last Elemental Well until then?”

  Luke looked over at Tess. He again felt extraordinarily tired, both in body and in mind.

  “Yeah, I think that’s a good idea,” he said.

  “We’re meeting on Carthac Island. It’s one of the smaller islands in the Western Sea.” Silverstrike grinned. “I still haven’t explained to the guild leaders the details of the plan yet. This is going to either make or break our rebellion.”

  Luke nodded slowly, suddenly feeling a bit doubtful of their odds.

  Can we really do this? Or are we just kidding ourselves?

  “I think it’s a great idea,” said Tess. “Luke, you could use the rest of today to rest, and tomorrow morning we could meet up and head there together.”

  Luke immediately agreed with her suggestion.

  Rest… I could definitely use some.

  “Alright,” he said. “Let’s do it.”

  The three of them talked for a while longer. Sitting at the bar, just the three of them almost felt like it had when they had first started out in Yvvaros. Before going all in was a possibility and the government was uninvolved, when they were just friends discovering a new world, not trying to save it. They joked and laughed, and for a while, Luke’s responsibilities felt lighter on his shoulders.

  “You should probably log out,” whispered Tess. “I can tell how tired you are, Luke.”

  He sighed, and then nodded slowly.

  “I’ll meet up with you two in the morning, then,” he finally said.

  Silverstrike smiled at him, and Luke met his eye. He wanted to bring up Tess, and the chance that he was leaving the two of them with, brother and sister, to bond. But in the end, he didn’t say anything.

  It’s not my place to meddle. They have to work it out themselves.

  Luke reached into his satchel, pulled out his character record, signed the bottom of it, and felt the world drop out from underneath him.

  CHAPTER 23

  Luke was back at his desk. He pulled off his VR headset and felt an irrational sense of nervous paranoia take hold of him.

  Calm down. I’m in my house. Nothing’s wrong.

  The last remnants of sunlight were streaming in through his bedroom window. It was hard for Luke to think straight, and it took him a second to work out when he’d started playing.

  I… slept in-game last night?

  His stomach growled, and he realized three things at once. He was unbelievably tired, hungry, and he really, really needed to go to the bathroom.

  Luke stood up on legs that had almost forgotten how to walk and hurried to the bathroom. He was used to the empty house now, but heading by his dad’s old room made him wince internally.

  After relieving himself, Luke wobbled downstairs. Everything that he saw and touched felt off as though he was in a dream. Even the color of the walls and the furniture seemed muted. He had grown accustomed to the vibrant colors of Yvvaros.

  There was something in his kitchen that he was sure hadn’t been there the last time he’d been through the house. A brown grocery bag sat in the middle of the counter. Luke walked over to it and looked inside. A note was perched on top of a variety of food.

  Please don’t die, Luke. I’m serious. I didn’t pull your headset off this time. It’s your turn to do me a favor.

  Sam

  Luke smiled. A faint memory, or rather, many memories flooded his mind. Sam had always looked out for him, mainly in the form of feeding him. She’d been sharing her lunch with him since kindergarten.

  Old habits die hard, I guess.

  He pulled out a box of pop tarts from the bottom of the bag and tore into them. The prospect of having to go outside to buy food felt strange and foreign to him. He was thankful he didn’t have to.

  For a minute Luke thought about calling Sam, or at the least sending a text. He hesitated however, wondering if there was any point in trying to hold onto the friendship. He was no longer the same person that Sam knew and he grew tired at just the thought of trying to reassure her he would be okay.

  I’ve moved on, Sam. And now it’s time for you to move on too.

  Still, he was appreciative of the food. He sighed, and pulled out his cell phone. It was dead, unsurprisingly. He walked upstairs and plugged in the charger. After a minute it turned back on and he found Sam in his contacts, sending her a short text.

  Thanks Sam

  Luke’s body felt gross. Spending days in-game took a toll on his psyche, but it also affected him physically in ways that he couldn’t ignore. He walked back into the bathroom, and took a look in the mirror.

  It was hard to recognize the face staring back at him. It was gaunt, and his chin was covered in stubble. Luke shook his head in disgust and began vigorously brushing his teeth as though the unsettling imagine of himself in the mirror could be directly attributed to bad oral hygiene.

  He took a shower, letting the cold water wash over him for as long as he could stand it.

  It’s not going to wash away, is it?

  Luke started laughing. He leaned against the back of the shower and slowly sank to the floor. The water continued to stream down over him, feeling, if possible, even colder as it traveled the extra feet to the fl
oor.

  After a few minutes he pulled himself together and dried off. His dresser was almost empty, leaving him with a pair of pants that he’d outgrown long ago and a Christmas sweater from an Aunt who, from the looks of it, hated him. After he dressed, he sat back down at his desk and instinctively began to reach for the headset.

  I’m so fucking tired. I need a break.

  Instead of getting back into Yvvaros he pulled himself over to his bed and climbed into it. His sheets, like everything else in the house, had been neglected for a bit too long. He needed to wash them but knew that he wouldn’t.

  Luke closed his eyes and tried to sleep. The sun was still setting outside his window, but he knew that given how tired he was, sleep should come easily. Unfortunately, it didn’t.

  He thought about everything that had happened in Yvvaros over the past few days. They were making progress, true, but it was at the cost of his emotional wellbeing. Luke felt dirty, as though the lengths he’d gone to claim the Elemental Wells had taken him too far against the direction of his moral compass.

  They were just NPCs. Non-playable characters… what does it matter?

  Luke sighed and rolled over in bed. The thoughts continued however, and he found them almost impossible to ignore.

  Yvvaros had stopped being a game. Luke had been aware of the shift for a while, ever since his ill-fated attempt at going all in. But now, it felt as though the weight of the truth was gnawing at the back of his mind.

  Maybe I should just go all in right now? And then find a way to live peacefully, without having to kill anyone or anything.

  Luke knew that wasn’t a possibility. He was still needed in the outside world. The plan to take back Yvvaros required he have a physical body, even if he didn’t want it anymore.

  Luke reached for his phone, checking to see if Sam had texted him back or not. She hadn’t. Another idea popped into his head and he started to reach for his phone.

  I need to talk to somebody about this. Somebody who can understand just what it is that I’m going through.

  Luke pulled Dr. Meyers’s business card from his pocket and dialed her cell phone number.

  He heard her phone ring once, twice, three times, and then it went straight to voice mail. Luke sighed and hung the phone up. He closed his eyes and buried his face in his pillow, hoping that he’d eventually get tired enough to fall asleep on his own.

  His cell phone rang. It was Dr. Meyers. Luke answered.

  “Hello?”

  “Luke, it’s Dr. Meyers. Sorry, I was finishing up with dinner. Do you need to talk?”

  Luke ran his hand through his hair and chuckled.

  “Yeah, I do,” he said. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to disrupt your night.”

  “It’s alright. My patients don’t need to talk just during office hours. I’m used to it by now.”

  “Yeah, that makes sense, uh, thanks.” Luke sat up in bed and crossed his legs underneath him.

  “What’s on your mind, Luke?”

  The question was one that he’d been expecting, one that he’d thought he was ready to answer, but for some reason it gave him pause.

  What is on my mind? Guilt? Fear of change? An inability to accept my responsibilities?

  “I’ve been playing Yvvaros again, doctor,” said Luke.

  “I know. I assumed that was what you called about.”

  For a moment, there was silence on both end of the line. Luke cleared his throat and tried to collect his thoughts.

  “It’s been hard for me recently, Dr. Meyers,” he said. “The game… Yvvaros, it’s not separate from my day to day life anymore. In fact, my life practically revolves around it.”

  And that’s an understatement. I live in Yvvaros more than I live in the real world.

  “Luke, you still need to keep your life in balance.” Dr. Meyers paused. “I don’t just mean taking care of yourself in the real world, you need to find a balance between the two.”

  “I’m… trying to,” said Luke.

  “What’s the issue?” asked Dr. Meyers. “I feel like you’re dancing around it. Not intentionally, of course. I need you to be candid with me, Luke.”

  Luke sighed.

  “I just… I look at some of the things I’ve done, some of the things I’ve had to do in-game, and…” He chewed his lip. “It sounds ridiculous. I know it does. But it’s like I said to you before, the game is its own world. My actions have an effect on it, and lately… I’m not sure if the effect has been positive or negative.”

  Dr. Meyers chuckled on the other end of the line.

  “I’ve been counseling video game addicts for years, Luke. This is nothing I haven’t heard before.”

  “What should I do, then?” asked Luke.

  “Well, that’s easy. Do you know the game Crime Theft Auto?”

  “…What?” Luke blinked in surprise, wondering if he’d heard her correctly.

  “CTA, as it’s called by most people,” said Dr. Meyers. “I had a patient once who was addicted to the game and yet completely ashamed of the things that she did in it. Do you know what I told her?”

  Luke didn’t say anything.

  “I told her that you have to find your own morality when it comes to video games as much as you do when it comes to life.”

  “But, I’m not playing CTA!” Luke responded. “The NPCs in Yvvaros are intelligent, almost… conscious.”

  “It doesn’t change a thing, Luke,” said Dr. Meyers. “Whether they’re conscious, or unthinking, or totally expendable, what matters is how you view your own actions toward them.”

  What is she talking about?

  “Why do we celebrate the deaths of terrorists in this country, and mourn the deaths of our soldiers?”

  Luke shook his head, staring at his cell phone and trying to understand where Dr. Meyers was going.

  “Well, terrorists kill people, and…”

  I see what she’s doing.

  “The United States military kills people, too,” said Dr. Meyers. “They kill more people than the terrorists do. They’re a lot better at it, too. But we view them as good, and the terrorists as bad.”

  “So what, I’m just supposed to judge people on the spot?” Luke leaned his head back against his bed.

  “You aren’t supposed to, you already do,” said Dr. Meyers. “If the actions you’ve been taking go against your own sense of morals, than you need to take more time and think about what you’re doing.”

  “I don’t understand how it all ended up this way,” said Luke. “I started playing Yvvaros to get away from this kind of thing.”

  “You can’t get away from this type of responsibility, Luke. It always finds a way to catch up with you in the end.”

  Luke didn’t say anything.

  “I have to finish cooking dinner, Luke,” said Dr. Meyers. “I have drop in hours every morning this week between 8 and 10, feel free to drop in if you need to, or call if it’s urgent.”

  “Yeah…” said Luke. “I will.”

  “Have a good night.”

  “Goodnight, Dr. Meyers.”

  Luke hung up the phone and rolled over in bed. He hadn’t found the answers he was looking for, but Dr. Meyers’s words continued to echo in his head.

  Maybe I’m asking the wrong question…

  CHAPTER 24

  Luke finally managed to get some sleep. His dreams were a composite of the real world and Yvvaros, and when he woke up the details slipped away, like sand drawings in a high tide.

  He sat up in bed slowly, feeling his body’s aches and pains more intimately after a night of rest. Luke wanted to put the headset on right away, but he forced himself to go downstairs and eat some of the food that Sam had brought him first.

  As Luke walked back to his room one of his legs gave out underneath him midway up the stairs. He fell to one knee, and a fit of coughing broke out from deep inside his chest.

  My body… I’m not taking care of it like I should be.

  He shook the episode off a
nd continued back to his desk. Tapping his way through the login sequence, Luke pulled on his VR headset and entered Yvvaros.

  He was back in the Stark Town Inn. It was almost completely empty save for a single group of players at a table close to the door and a bored looking bartender in the back.

  “Can I get you something?” asked the bartender.

  Luke shook his head no and made his way outside.

  The sky was deeply overcast, giving the morning a somber feel. There were players moving about Stark Town but not as many as Luke was used to, even on a weekday morning.

  The Arbiters are winning. Is it because they’ve scared everyone off, or have they killed that many people?

  He turned towards Dunidan’s rest and began walking. A red blinking envelope icon was in the corner of his vision. He reached into his satchel and pulled out the message, it was from Silverstrike.

  Kato,

  We’re meeting up a short distance away from the bridge over to Carthac Island. The other guilds are expecting us to present a plan of action to the group. You won’t have to do much other than let me do the talking, and chime in when I refer to you, Mr. Hero of Kantor.

  Silverstrike

  Luke furrowed his brow. He trusted Ben, almost more than anyone else he’d ever known. Lately, however, it had gotten harder. His friend’s erratic behavior and addictions were making him unpredictable.

  He’s probably just stressed out from his role in organizing the rebellion. After this meeting, he’ll be able to mellow out again.

  Luke tore the letter up and started south. Carthac Island was almost directly to the west of Dunidan’s Rest, on the coast of the Sarchia Desert. It was close enough to the mainland that it could easily be seen from shore. He wasn’t surprised that someone had built a connecting bridge.

  As far as Luke could tell, construction in Yvvaros had few, if any limits. Most of the blueprints available for purchase were for larger, traditional structures. The guild hall that he had built shortly after The Consulate had claimed Dunidan’s Rest had been one of those, as had been the wall that he’d constructed later on. Even the ship in Megwin’s Bay he had taken to Wrye Island had been constructed using a blueprint.