OSO Ready: The Boys of Beartooth Bay: Harrison

by Claire Ryann

It refused to add up.

  Every time she did it, she came up with extra days. She'd never finished all seven of the little green placebos without starting her period. Here she was, ready to start the next month of pills and not a cramp on the horizon. Not even one of her tell-tale desperate cravings for chocolate covered pretzels.

  She looked at the calendar again and counted backward.

  Back to that first day up on the hill with Harrison. Just less than a month, right after she started the packet that was now sitting empty on her countertop.

  Oh God. She gulped loudly, the sound echoing through the quiet house, and began counting again.

  Eventually her brain went numb. She lost track of what all the little boxes on the calendar stood for and the tears in her eyes were blurring out all the dates anyway.

  She wasn't sure what to do. She'd only been with Harrison for a month, they weren't ready to have this conversation, let alone to actually make any decisions. She had no idea how he would react.

  Her throat constricted as she choked back a terrified sob-- or how it would affect their relationship.

  Harrison had been like devoted puppy ever since that first day. He left no doubt in her mind that he only had eyes for her and she felt pretty sure this could be headed for something serious. But Harris was also shy about discussing the future. He made it clear that he wasn't ready to start making any serious plans yet.

  Jess hung the calendar back on the wall and crumpled the empty foil packet in her shaky fist.

  No matter how many times she told herself it wasn't time to panic, she just couldn't think of any other options.

  The hardest part was worrying about Harrison.

  Under the circumstances, there was no way she could think of to get out of telling him. It was Sunday night. She couldn't call a clinic until tomorrow. She had to find a new doctor, since that's something she hadn't needed since she'd moved to Beartooth Bay. She had to get in on a moment's notice for an accurate pregnancy test before she could even think about what to do next. And the whole time she was telling herself it was too early to panic, she was also terrified to start the next round of birth control pills.

  That was a decision that Harrison needed to know about.

  So while she made the short drive to Harrison's house just up the hill from town on the east side of the high way, she practiced a thousand ways to broach the subject while trying not to have a melt down before she got there.

  Naturally, her almost polished speech, the one she'd had enough time to repeat to herself that she'd managed to make it sound almost casual, was anything but what spilled out of her mouth as soon as Harrison opened the door.

  "I'm late."

  It just sort of fell out unexpectedly while she was still standing on his front porch.

  Harrison's brows knitted together over his perfect dark eyes, his complete confusion evident. A little smile played at the corners of his mouth as he shook his head slowly, "No, you're right on time," he said hesitantly as if he was expecting her to deliver the punchline any second now.

  Punchline. Isn't that an appropriate term? She thought as she followed him inside. Her heart was beating double time, but this time not from the way he made her feel when he looked at her, or from the searing heat of his fingertips as they danced over her skin.

  A lump formed in her throat where her breath and her voice came together and simultaneously died. Shame burned through her cheeks for thinking of all the times they'd been together in the last month, all the opportunities she'd taken to test the pill's 98% effectiveness rating.

  "No, Harris, late."

  The cat had clawed its way out of the bag sooner than she'd intended, no point in hemming and hawing about it now.

  She stood in front of him, just inside the big living room of the newer house. She tried to keep her eyes on his. Tried to watch his expression as it changed from confusion to understanding, but it was so hard. She wanted to let her gaze drop to the dark teal polish of her new pedicure. It had been a step out of her comfort zone, but the manicurist at the salon had gotten new colors and she'd really wanted to try it out. It had turned out not nearly as daring as Jess had expected and the look was growing on her.

  Growing on her. It reminded her that something might be growing in her. She forced her eyes back up to Harrison. Not something, someone.

  The thought hit her from out of the blue and made her woozy. She felt the color leave her face as she took a step to regain her balance.

  Harrison took a reflexive step toward her, reaching to steady her.

  "Late? Like, late?" His voice was low and soft. It held a note of wonder, but an ominous current flowed just beneath that.

  Jessica expected he might start screaming any minute. She pictured him shaking his fists and yelling.

  She hadn't seen him angry yet. She imagined it was going to be scary. He was so big, and powerful, with that deep voice that she knew would challenge the beams holding up the vaulted ceiling if he really got loud.

  Her eyes involuntarily rolled up to the big exposed timbers that ran along the ceiling in inverted Vs that pointed toward the rock fireplace that ran all the way up the far wall. She vaguely wondered if he could yell loud enough to break the windows.

  "Are you OK?"

  She heard a familiar voice somewhere nearby.

  "Do you want anything? I can get you a-- a-- I could make tea? No, no, no, that has caffeine. I have some sports drinks? or water? or..."

  The voice was coming from just in front of her and just below eye level, she forced her eyes off the big windows that ran up the wall on either side of the fireplace and tried to find the source of the voice to focus on.

  It was so soft, and caring, and it sounded very concerned about her at the moment.

  Jess was somewhat surprised when her eyes landed back on Harrison's worried face. She was sitting on the end of one of his leather sofas, two throw pillows stuffed behind her back for support.

  Harris was kneeling on the floor in front of her, one of his big hands wrapped solidly around her thigh just above her knee, the other engulfing her hand, his thumb sliding over hers as he stared at her and went on with his list of beverages that contained neither caffeine nor alcohol.

  It wasn't the voice she'd been expecting. It was all kindness and tenderness.

  "You're not mad?" she managed to ask hesitantly.

  His eyebrows shot up as though it hadn't been something he'd considered, his mouth formed a thoughtful pout as his lower lip pushed up against the top one.

  "Doesn't seem much point in getting mad," he said matter of factly with a just a hint of hurt behind the words, as though he was disappointed that that's what she'd expected.

  A long sigh of relief made its way out of her chest. Jess fell back against the pillows, her head tipping back as tears began oozing out of the corners of her eyes.

  "Hey," Harris had her gathered in his arms, pulling her against his chest as he held her tight, "don't worry, we'll figure this out together."'

  Jessica lifted her arms and draped them over his shoulders but the tears refused to stop.

  "I thought you'd be mad," she mumbled as she stifled the involuntary sobs against his shoulder. She picked up her head, wiping tears from her eyes with the back of her hand as she looked down at him kneeling in front of her, "I was really scared to tell you," she whispered.

  Harrison's eyes were filled with hurt but he forced a smile as he moved a strand of hair from her face and wiped the last of the subsiding tears from her cheek, "you never need to be afraid of me, Jess."

  His voice sounded choked, Jessica could see the depth of the emotion that he was trying to keep concealed behind those soulful brown eyes. She suddenly felt silly, even ashamed, at worrying that he might turn his frustrations on her.

  Harrison might not be much for opening up about his feelings, but right then and there Jess knew that he had them. And she knew exactly what they were.

  Chapter 9

  Almost a full week
had gone by since Jessica had told him.

  Harris stood in the bookstore and thumbed through the stack he'd picked out.

  Two home tests and an official blood test at the doctor's office had all come out negative but they had been assured that didn't mean Jess wasn't pregnant.

  She'd been on the pill the whole time. She swore she hadn't missed one and always took it at the same time each day.

  Harrison believed her. They'd done a lot more talking this week and he'd been finding out a lot more about her. She'd had a scare in her very early 20s that resulted in learning exactly how birth control pills worked and she said she'd been very careful about her routine since then.

  He was less sure that the doctor believed her, but he didn't care what the doctor believed.

  If Jessica was pregnant, it was his job to take care of her and the baby. He'd protect them and make sure they had everything they ever needed.

  It was the doctor's job to make sure the baby came into the world all healthy and pink and squealing and that Jess was OK.

  He'd take care of everything else.

  Harrison couldn't decide which books were best. He took the entire stack of 12 to the register and handed over his credit card.

  "Oh, I loved this book as a kid," the young girl behind the counter squealed in delight at Goodnight Moon, then wrinkled her nose as she continued sorting through the stack, "Ooh, this one always scared me though." Her shoulders shuddered as she slipped it into the bag with the others and handed him the receipt for his signature.

  Harrison peeked over to see which book she could have found frightening to find her sliding Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are into the bag.

  The girl behind the counter looked to be all of 17, short and slim with faded blue at the ends of her hair and double ott gauges in her ears.

  He had a hard time imagining her as a small girl, hiding her eyes from the monsters in the book.

  Harris thanked the girl for her help and walked out the door with his new treasures in hand, trying to decide how he was going to react when his daughter wanted to start putting holes in her body and dying her hair outrageous colors.

  Ultimately, he decided to wait to cross that bridge when he got to it. Right now, he had a pretty deep canyon to cross and there wasn't a bridge in sight. Which didn't mean he couldn't burn it anyway.

  He dropped the bag with the kids books on the passenger seat of his truck and headed toward home.

  Jess was supposed to meet him after her appointment.

  He hated not being able to go to every one of her doctor's appointments with her, but Luke had been short handed this morning with Grandt off in the city for a few days. There'd been no way he could get away to go with her.

  He winced as the deep scratches along his forearm rubbed against the arm rest of the center console.

  The day had gotten off to a rough start. It was probably a good thing Luke broke up the fight before he threw Clay overboard though.

  Clay had started in with his usual sarcasm at the tender hour of 4 A.M. Harris was in no mood for his brother's jabs. It started with the usual crap that Clay just considered brotherly love. Some well-meant wrestling and banter designed to remind Harris of his perpetual younger brother status.

  Normally he would have taken it in stride, maybe even had fun with it. He would have given Clay a taste of his own medicine and the two brothers would pretend to be at odds throughout the day while working side by side.

  Not today.

  Today the perpetual taunting about Jess and their relationship had been too much. By mid-morning, Harrison had been ready to throw Clayton overboard.

  The bear was ready to fight. Clay had turned from his rigging to face a massive brown bear standing on the ship's deck.

  Harris could feel the bear's maw as he snarled at his brother, his claws swiping toward the surprised Clayton.

  He didn't care if Clay was surprised or not. The bear was out of patience and it wanted blood. The other paw slashed at Clay.

  These were practice swipes, designed to coax Clay into his bear so they could face off evenly matched.

  He swiped again and bellowed.

  Clay's eyes narrowed. He squared his jaw and glanced anxiously toward the pilot house before Harrison's claws made contact with his shoulder, drawing blood.

  A second bear joined Harris on the deck with a ferocious roar.

  The two beasts clashed together, jaws and claws flashing as a thousand pounds of muscle and fur clamored for the upper hand.

  "What the fuck!"

  Luke's voice was an angry sound that managed to reach over the sound of waves lapping against the hull of the boat, over the sounds of two bears roaring against each other, cutting through the white noise of outrage rushing through Harrison's ears.

  "NO bears on the boat, dammit!"

  A blur of motion burst between the two bears and the fight was over before it had gotten started. Clay's bear was pushed backward and a surprised and naked Clay landed against the wood deck.

  Luke's hand had a hold of Harrison's neck and he was ushering him into the pilot house while yelling at Clay to find some damn clothes.

  "First off, what the fuck is so goddamn urgent that you have to start a fight on my boat?" Luke's voice raged inside the tiny room where the controls for the boat were housed. He was yelling loud enough that the thick windows vibrated with each syllable.

  Luke reached up and grabbed a spare set of clothes from a shelf above the window and threw them at Harrison without pausing, "Second, what the fuck is so goddamn important that you have to pick a fight with your own brother on my boat?!"

  Harrison hadn't seen his cousin this mad in-- well, ever, now that he thought about it.

  Luke had every right to be pissed though. Bear fights on board were strictly forbidden. Even good-natured wrestling matches. Bears were big and heavy and they tended to break stuff.

  Harrison tried to hang on to his anger. He pulled on the spare set of clothes that hit him in the chest and paced the small area, clenching and unclenching his fists as Lucas continued to unleash on him.

  As much as he'd wanted to throw Clay overboard just a few minutes ago, the wind had left his sales as soon as he'd Changed back. He inspected the side of his forearm where he'd only just noticed a burning sensation, "Sonuvabitch clawed me," he stared at the dark red slashes where Clay had managed to get in one good swipe.

  "Is it bad?" Luke's temper fell by the wayside as he reached for his cousin's arm for inspection.

  The upside was that shifters healed fast. The downside was that a deep cut could still sever tendons and ligaments, rendering his hand useless-- and it still hurt like hell.

  "It looks fine," Luke's voice remained low and calm but took back the hardness of his earlier anger, "So you gonna tell me what's going on?"

  Harris grimaced at the wounds on his arm and ran a hand through his hair, "Jess might be pregnant," he finally said plainly.

  His cousin sat in his pilot chair and glared at him, a gruff sound coming from his chest. Harrison turned to look at the older man. Luke was wearing an expression that was hard to read, a combination of resentment and pain that didn't seem entirely personal.

  Harris watched the emotions flitting through Luke's eyes and waited for a response. Finally, Luke sighed deeply, his eyes seeming to suddenly focus on Harris.

  " 'Might be?' " he asked.

  "She's late with her, you know, late," he began pacing again, "She should have started two weeks ago but the tests keep coming out negative."

  Luke worked his eyebrows into a knot over his nose, "she seen a doctor yet?"

  Harris nodded, "She's there today. They're doing an ultrasound."

  "Why the fuck aren't you with her?!" Luke's voice picked up volume again.

  Harris raised his hands in surrender, "Grandt's out of town, you and Clay couldn't spare me today."

  Luke relaxed with a resigned nod, "Yeah, I guess not." He leaned back against the chair and crossed his ankl
e over his knee, "So what's the plan?"

  Harrison's face went blank. He wasn't sure what Luke was asking, it's not like he had any options.

  Luke noticed that his cousin was clueless, "I mean, like," he took a breath, "if she is. You gonna shack up? Get hitched? You have told her about the bear, right? I mean, if she's knocked up, she has a right to know what she's getting into."

  Harris felt his face blanch. He let his body sag against the wall of the small enclosure. His head began to move slowly from side to side.

  "I'm just not ready for this, man," his voice was shaky with his confession.

  "Yeah well," Luke turned to the wheel and brought the boat around, heading back to the harbor, "it's not like you get much choice. Fate has a way of showing up when you least expect it and hitting below the belt when you're already down."

  Harrison gave one last lingering look at his cousin, trying to decipher Luke's meaning, before he ducked out of the pilot house to help secure the boat in the slip.

  He pulled himself from his memory of the day as he clicked the button to close the garage door behind him.

  Walking through the house, he discarded the plastic bag and set the stack of books on the table next to the magazines he'd been reading.

  He picked up the stack of paint samples he'd picked up from the hardware store yesterday and began sorting through them. All the traditional pinks and blues as well as a healthy selection of neutral colors including some browns and greens that he thought might be particularly soothing for a baby with shifter blood running hot in its veins.

  He set aside a sky blue and a taupe-y brown that he thought looked good together and opened the catalog he'd found to the page with all the little bear and paw print decals.

  By the time he heard Jessica's car pull up out front, he was so immersed in his decorating plans that he'd almost forgotten that she still didn't know about his bear.

  Chapter 10

  Jess slammed the car door with her hip, her hands full between the overnight bag she had in one hand and the drink in the other.