Purple Roads

by Fleur McDonald

  He nodded to the group and listened to them exchanging news of their trips.

  ‘The sun was sinking and there was a fair bit of dust from the car in front of me,’ Zack was saying. ‘You know how it hangs in the air and sorta becomes a haze?’

  Matt and the other blokes who had carted in the north nodded. It was one of the most dangerous times of night – especially when dirt roads and bull dust were involved.

  ‘Well they came out of nowhere, these two fricking camels wandering across the road. I couldn’t pull up in time, so I just kept going.They went right under the truck.’

  ‘Shit.’ Joel winced at the thought.‘How’s the belly? ’he asked, referring to the engine and underside of the truck.

  ‘Pulled a couple of fuel lines out, but I fixed them up best I could and kept going. Blokes in the next town cleaned up what I’d done, but our grease monkeys will still have their work cut out for them, I reckon.’

  ‘How’d your trip go, Matt?’ Shane asked.

  ‘Fine, mate, nothing but a few roos and a flat tyre.

  But I was driving on bitumen, not like Zack. Those dirt roads, they can be killers, especially at dawn and dusk.’

  There was a chorus of ‘Yeah, you’re right’ as all the blokes nodded in agreement.

  ‘Well,’ said Shane.‘I’d better be off home.’

  ‘Yeah, me too,’ Joel said. ‘See if Janey’s got any more wedding plans to discuss.’ He smiled wryly. ‘We used to talk diesel engines and trucks once . . .’

  ‘Only going to get worse from here, mate,’ Shane said, clapping him on the back. ‘Wait till she starts talking kids! All you’ll hear about then is teething, nappies and sleepless nights. You won’t be getting her back in a truck for years!’

  ‘Yeah, well, thanks for the encouragement. Catch you all next run,’ Joel said, waving over his shoulder.

  The boys all started to drift off in different directions. Matt headed to the office where his boss, Jimmy Marshall, would be waiting for a report on the trip and the condition of the truck.

  ‘Ella, stop it.You can’t hit Kylie, it’s just not nice.’

  Matt heard Anna’s voice above Kylie’s screams before he opened the car door. He closed his eyes and leaned his head on the steering wheel, craving the silence of the car on the drive home. This bloody childminding business was fine while he was away, but he wanted it to end the minute he got home. Of course he knew that wasn’t fair or possible, but he wished for it. He wanted to run in and scoop up Ella in a big hug without another child around. He also craved peace and quiet. He needed to unwind, a thing all truckies understood. After days of listening to a loud, rumbling engine – not to mention loud music – the best thing was to get in the car and drive home slowly.The car engine was almost inaudible compared to the sound of the truck.

  Today, Kylie’s screams put Matt on edge before he’d even pushed open the front door. He took a deep breath then stepped inside.

  ‘I’m home,’ he yelled above the crying toddler.

  A harassed Anna came out of the lounge room holding Kylie, Ella toddling behind her.

  ‘Dada!’ Ella smiled and tried to move quickly towards him.

  Matt, his heart melting, got down on the floor and crawled towards her. ‘Ella!’ he replied in the same tone.

  ‘Dada!’

  Anna smiled as she watched her husband nuzzle their daughter’s cheek, stand and swing her into his arms.

  ‘Hello,’ she said, kissing him on the cheek. ‘Good trip?’

  ‘Yeah, not too bad. How’s things here other than being pretty noisy?’

  ‘I’ll phone Kylie’s mum and see if she can come and get her.’

  As Anna headed for the phone Matt hugged Ella to him, enjoying her baby smell and velvety soft skin. Ella put her hand to his face and said ‘Dada!’ in the same excited tone she had first used. As she ran her fingers down his face he knew he’d be forever grateful to Shane for saying, ‘They depend on me.’ It had reminded him what was really important.

  Two hours later Kylie’s mother still hadn’t arrived, and the alternating tired squeals and sobs were more than Matt could bear.

  ‘I’m off,’ he said to Anna.

  ‘Where are you going?’ she asked, pushing her hair back off her face to reveal a fraught expression.

  ‘Just out and about.’

  Her eyes darkened briefly with anger, then she smiled. ‘Okay, see you when you get back.’

  He drove out of town to a parking bay by the creek. He loved coming here. Its banks were lined with reeds, frogs croaked when there was water and crickets could be heard chirping on warm summer evenings. Gum trees towered above the park benches and barbecues, swaying gently.

  He lay on the bench, his hands under his head, mesmerised by the waving leaves, the sound of birds calling, the wind rustling in the grass.

  After a while, he got up and went for a walk along the creek. It was ironic, he thought, that the seasons had turned out for the better since he had got out of farming. One season had come and gone and it had rained on time, with good follow-up rains right when they were needed.

  He skipped a couple of stones across the water’s surface then glanced at his watch. It was time to head home if he wanted to bath Ella. Even though the truce between him and Anna was still uneasy, he had begun to enjoy spending time with his family again.

  Matt saw the blue flowers of Salvation Jane growing on the side of the creek and stared at them for a while, eventually reaching down and picking a handful. A plan in place, he scoured the bank looking for some other sort of flowers, it didn’t matter if they were weeds. After picking Sour Sobs and some Doc, he bunched them all together. The bouquet would be an apology to Anna when he returned home; he knew he should have stayed and helped out with the screaming Kylie.

  Matt had just started to head back to his car when his mobile phone rang. Looking at the screen, he saw it was Sam. Anna had probably rung Kate to tell them he was home. He rejected the call and put the phone back in his pocket. Sam would be full of farming news and he wasn’t up to listening to it tonight. He knew that it was Sam’s way of being supportive, but he just didn’t get it. Matt didn’t want to talk about farming. He didn’t listen to The Country Hour or Bush Telegraph on ABC radio anymore either. Everything was still too much of a reminder of all he had lost.

  He was surprised when the phone started to ring again – Sam. He let it go to the message bank this time, but when it rang for the third time he decided he should answer.

  ‘How’s it going, mate?’

  ‘Matt! I’m glad you answered!’ Sam sounded breathless.

  ‘You all right?’ Matt asked, a feeling of dread spreading through him.

  ‘Yeah, yeah, we’re all fine. Are you driving? I’ve just heard something on the grapevine you need to know about. Daniel MacIntosh from over Burra way has just had his whole knockdown chemical taken from his shed – all two thousand litres of it.’

  Matt felt himself grow cold. It was happening again. Running to the ute he yanked open the door and reached into the glove box, taking out a small black notebook and opening it to a blank page. ‘What else do you know?’ he asked, trying to find a pen.

  ‘Not much really. Dan called the cops but they weren’t terribly interested.’

  Matt snorted. ‘Sounds about right. They didn’t give a shit when it happened to me. Just said, “Here’s your report number for insurance.” They’re not likely to do anything this time either.’

  ‘But isn’t this the fourth one since you were hit?’ said Sam. ‘Surely the cops will have to start taking some notice.’

  ‘No, he’s the fifth if you don’t count the two small incidents, with the fence units and lamb crate about five months ago. Whoever it is practised on me then went back to small things. Must be happy to take on bigger and better things again. What I can’t understand is how they keep getting away with it.’ Matt flicked through the notes he’d taken about the previous thefts. ‘They’re nicking big loads
– Dan’s chemical order would’ve been in big enviro-drums. Fertiliser needs a bin on the back of a truck. Fencing gear needs a forklift and at least a ute. It would take a fair bit of planning. I mean, how are they getting on to the farms and not being noticed?’

  ‘Stuffed if I know,’ said Sam. ‘I guess if there were two blokes they could probably lift the drums and fencing gear together, but it would take a while and the longer they spent on a farm the more chance they’d have of being noticed.There’d be lights of the vehicles and we’ve all got dogs that bark at anything unusual.’

  Matt was quiet, thinking about how badly he wanted to find out who had done this to him and Anna. He’d tried to come to terms with the fact the theft had happened, that they’d lost their farm and he’d had to give up his life dream and take a different path. But with each new theft he heard about, his determination to find out who was doing this increased. He knew Anna thought he should look forward and stop obsessing over the past; to a point she was probably right, but finding the thief was the one thing which might make him feel whole again. He knew he wouldn’t find closure or be rid of his sense of failure until that happened.

  Sam’s phone call had just made the desire to find the perpetrator even stronger.

  ‘I don’t know who’s behind this, mate. But I’ll find out,’ Matt said softly staring out of the window.

  The flowers gathered with good intentions now lay wilting and forgotten on the passenger’s seat.

  Chapter 10

  Anna glanced up at the clock, wondering what time Matt would be home. Kylie had been picked up a little while ago and the house was finally quiet. Ella was curled up in a ball on her little foam Barbie couch, fighting to keep her eyes open; the day of babysitting had left both her and Anna exhausted. Anna was only keeping Ella up so she could see Matt when he came home.

  Kate’s idea of the babysitting business had been a great one and Anna loved doing it. When she’d placed a notice in the local school newsletter she’d quickly been inundated. There were plenty of mums who preferred not to drag their young kids around the supermarket, and farmers’ wives who jumped at the opportunity to have a coffee with friends without the interference of little hands and voices.

  Babysitting wasn’t hard for Anna because she liked children, and Ella loved the company. Anna enjoyed watching her daughter interact with other children. It gave her the social outlet she had been lacking as an only child, and goodness knew they could do with the sound of children’s laughter around the house.

  Relations between Anna and Matt were still awkward since their dreadful fight, though Matt’s apology had helped.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he’d said. ‘I know I’ve been hard to live with. I don’t know how I’m going to get over this, but I’m going to try. I know you and Ella need me.’

  Falling into his arms, Anna had tried to explain that she wanted to support him, but she didn’t know how to anymore, despite loving him so very much. She would willingly take on all the hurt he was feeling if only she could get the old Matt back.

  Even though they had made love that night and had wanted, needed, to be in each other’s arms, the days and weeks that followed had been difficult. Anna had assumed they would talk about everything and work through it all, but Matt had declared that he wanted to put it all behind him and he didn’t want to reopen old wounds.

  Matt was still angry much of the time, though, and Anna was wary of provoking him, in case it caused another outburst, so she didn’t press him. If only he could let it go! Although he had told her he was getting on with their life, he was still obsessed with finding out who had stolen their fertiliser. And the more he concentrated on this fixation the less likely it seemed they would be able to fully reconcile and rebuild their relationship.

  After a conversation with Kate, and desperate for advice, Anna had taken the phone number Kate had given her and rung Kate’s cousin, Dave Burrows, who worked as a detective in Western Australia’s Rural Crime Squad. He’d explained that most rural crime was opportunistic and that what had happened to them ‘was just one of those things’. Dave had agreed with the local Clare detective that something like fertiliser would be very hard to investigate, though Dave had wondered out loud if he could help the bloke with his personal skills.

  ‘I’m sorry he was like that, Anna. It could have been handled better, especially since there was so much at stake for you.’

  She repeated this to Matt, but with little effect. As more farm thefts were reported his focus had only grown more intense.

  But to her mind, trying to take things into his own hands wasn’t only hopeless – it could be dangerous.

  Since Matt had started his new job, Anna had met some of the other truckies and their families, Shane and his wife Belinda and their children, and enjoyed their company. Belinda had even called a few times when their husbands were away at the same time. It had been nice to chat to someone who understood the difficulties of having a husband who was absent for long periods of time. Especially when they both had young children. They had commiserated over coffee and laughed when they realised they had the same routines in place for their kids.

  As time passed, Matt had said less and less about finding out who had stolen their fertiliser, though Anna suspected he hadn’t really let go of the issue; it was just he was saying less about everything. There were times when he withdrew into himself and hardly spoke at all. At other times he disappeared for hours and Anna didn’t know where he was. He didn’t answer his mobile and when he came home he offered no explanation about where he’d been. Not wanting to upset the delicate balance they’d achieved in their relationship, she decided not to try to force answers from him. Naive maybe, but she didn’t have the strength for any more confrontations at the moment.

  ‘Mama!’ she heard Ella cry. With a start Anna realised she had been so locked in her memories she hadn’t noticed her daughter trying to get her attention.

  ‘What’s up, bub?’ she asked. ‘Must almost be time for your bath. I wonder where your dad is?’

  ‘Mama!’

  ‘And what mischief he might be up to,’ Anna added, dropping to her knees to tickle Ella’s tummy, laughing as the little girl squealed with delight.

  Bindy barked as there was a rap on the door; Anna heard Kate’s voice. ‘Hello? I’m here bearing gifts!’

  ‘Kate!’ Anna scooped up Ella and headed to the kitchen, where her friend was unpacking a brown paper bag full of food.‘I didn’t know you were going to call in!’

  ‘Aha! There you are!’ Kate said, reaching to take Ella, who had stretched her arms out for a cuddle. ‘Look what I brought for you.’ Kate produced a toy cow from the bag and Ella lunged for it, only to drop it in fright when it emitted a loud moo. Kate laughed.‘It’s okay, sweetie, it’s meant to do that.’ She set Ella on the floor with the cow. ‘It moos when you squeeze it. See?’

  Anna felt a pang; it was sad that Kate was having trouble falling pregnant when she loved children so much.

  ‘I didn’t forget us,’ Kate said, standing up to show Anna a bottle of wine she’d brought. ‘And I’m here with news – there’s a new clothes store opening in Clare and they’re having a grand opening! Champers, cheese and biscuits, the lot. We’re going!’

  ‘Really? Who’s opening it?’ Anna asked as she reached for the wine glasses.

  ‘A couple of newbies from Adelaide. They’re planning to bring all the high-fashion brands to Clare. We really should support them if we want gorgeous things to wear on Melbourne Cup day!’

  ‘Melbourne Cup day? What about on Friday night to the pub? Reckon old Joe and the rest would appreciate us in our finery!’ She felt a twinge of sadness remembering how she used to say, ‘Do you think the sheep will appreciate my new haircut?’

  ‘Absolutely! He won’t be able to contain himself! So can you come? I don’t want to go by myself.’ Kate poured the wine with a flourish and held up her glass. ‘Cheers!’

  ‘Cheers.’ They clinked glasses and took
a sip. ‘When is it?’

  ‘Two weeks from tomorrow.’

  Anna got up to check Matt’s roster on the fridge then shook her head slowly. ‘Sorry, no can do. Matt gets back from a few days away.’

  ‘C’mon, Anna! What time does he get back? Night time? We could be back by then.’

  ‘No, I’d better not, Kate. I want to be here when he gets back. I’d hate to think of him coming home to an empty house after being away for such a long time. And after all the roadhouse food, I like to give him a good dinner.’ Anna took another sip of wine.

  ‘Ah bugger. But fair enough, Anna – I’d do the same for Sam.’

  They continued chatting while Ella played happily on the floor, and Anna felt the tensions of the day fade.

  ‘So which kids did you have here today?’

  ‘Just Kylie – she was still here when Matt came home, which was a bit of a disaster. He couldn’t handle the noise, so he took off for some peace and quiet. Then again, that’s not so unusual. He’s been taking off quite a bit lately – and I’m not always sure where he’s going.’

  ‘But you think he’s getting better, don’t you?’

  ‘I’m not sure.’ Anna paused. ‘I hope so.’

  They were silent for a while then Kate said, ‘Well, I’d better go. I need to get dinner on before Sam gets home. He’s been to Burra today, picking up a new seeding rig.’ She drained her glass and put it on the sink.

  ‘And I’d better get this little one to bed, she’s exhausted! Thanks for all the goodies.’ Anna looked at the cakes and biscuits Kate had piled on the bench.

  The two friends hugged goodbye and Kate gave Ella a kiss, then Anna followed Kate to the front door to see her off.

  The sun was sinking as Kate drove away; Anna watched her car until it had disappeared from view. The main street was quiet and empty, and Anna felt a rush of loneliness at the sound of laughter coming from the pub. Where was Matt? she wondered for the umpteenth time as she closed the door.