Children of Albion Rovers
Page 20
Mikey smiled. – Ah gied thum authorisation, but eh. That’s ma brar, he nodded at Alan, who smiled at Tazak, showing a full set of Earth teeth like Mikey’s.
– You dinnae fuckin gie nae cunt authorisation oan this fuckin ship Mikey! Tazak pointed at himself, – ah’m the only cunt that gies any cunt authorisation! Right!
Mikey stretched idly. – Naw, it’s no right mate. Ye see, thir’s gaunny be some fuckin changes roond here. This is ma fuckin ship now.
– Fuck off Piltonian, dinnae you start gittin wide oan ays, Tazak scoffed, as Mikey squared up to him.
– You’re no the only cunt wi psychic powers Tazak. Mind that, Mikey warned.
Tazak laughed like a half-choked drain. This would be fuckin sad if wasn’t so funny. It was time this so-called Top Boy was put in his place. – Huh, huh, huh! Ye saw what happened tae your psychic powers oot thair! Tazak sniggered, then turned to the Hibs crew and pointed to the hull of the craft. – Eh loast the fuckin flair! He shook his head forlornly at Mikey. – Listen Earth cunt, ah might have taught ye aw that you ken, bit ah nivir taught ye aw thit ah ken!
This was true. Despite his immersion into Cyrastorian culture, Tazak, with that show outside, had painfully demonstrated to Mikey that he had a repertoire and volume of psychic skills which the Hibs Boy could never hope to emulate.
However, the ex-CCS Top Boy had one trick up his sleeve. – See that fuckin pill ah gied ye the now? Fir the snout cravin?
Tazak looked hesitant. Mikey flashed his teeth. Ally and the other boys looked leery.
– Well it wis nowt tae dae wi fags. It wis a jelly. Any minute now, aw your psychic powers’ll be fuckin useless, eh. The only Will you’ll be able tae access’ll be the one ah hope yuv made oot fir yir next ay kin, ya cunt!
At these words Tazak felt his senses spinning out of control. He tried to orientate himself through the exercise of The Will, but he was unsteady on his long legs – … ughn … feel … suddenly … cunted … he gasped, staggering backwards against the glistening, encrusted hull of the ship.
The Hibs boy seized his chance and decked the gangling, foal-like alien with a chunky fist to the side of the creature’s face, toppling the frail Cyrastorian like a stacked tower of playing cards. – No sae fuckin wide now, ya fuckin streak ay alien pish! Lesson in life: nae cunt fucks wi the Hibees boys! The cosmic thug grinned arrogantly as he sank the boot into his old intergalactic comrade’s skinny rib cage.
Ally Masters and the boys moved in for the kill. – Nice one Mikey! Lit’s fuckin well stomp this cunt!
Mikey though, halted the advancing Hibs boys. He looked down at his friend, who was shaking, making a high, agonised noise that the Hibs hoolie had never heard before, and his skin was losing its indigo blue hue, becoming a sickly pink. – Leave um! The cunt’s fucked!
Mikey backed away in horror from Tazak’s high-pitched, resonant squeals which produced no intelligent words, although it was obvious the Cyrastorian was trying to speak them.
– What is it? Ally snapped.
– These cunts arenae used tae bein touched physically. That’s how thir that weak lookin. They cannae survive withoot thir psychic shields! Ah’ve probably fuckin killed um! Mikey fell to his knees. – Tazak mate… ah’m fuckin sorry … ah didnae mean tae …
– Keep away from him!
Mikey turned to see an advancing Elder. He wore the white robes of the Appropriate Behaviour Control. Although this Cyrastorian looked the same as the rest of race to the other Top Boys, Mikey had learned to distinguish them and he knew this one. – Gezra … he whispered.
– You’ve caused a fair bit ay bother, eh Earth cun …
– Ah didnae mean tae … Mikey stuttered.
The Appropriate Behaviour Control Elder had heard it all before. – Now it’s time fir ye tae pey bit, eh.
The other Hibs Boys tried to run the Cyrastorian Elder, but there was nothing the football neds could do as light and sound burst and ripped all around them. They shut their eyes and held their ears to try to block out the shattering pain, but it seemed to be inside of them; twisting, ripping and splintering their bones. Unconsciousness mercifully took them, one by one, Ally Masters defiantly the last man to pass out.
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Gezra had a lot of work to do. Firstly, Tazak had to be repaired, otherwise the youth would be reduced to the carrion phase, which was unacceptable. It had been centuries since any Cyrastorian had died before their allocated time span. Death was not appropriate behaviour for one so young. Fortunately, the reparations proved non-problematic for such an experienced master of The Will.
The next phase he needed help with, having to send for a Cyrastorian task force. This was unprecedented, but the behaviour of Mikey and Tazak meant that the entire inhabitants of Planet Earth needed memory wiping. It was a big job, and the Principal Elders at The Foundation would not be amused at this state of affairs.
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Shelley woke up feeling as if her head was going to explode. Her guts were in a turmoil, and she had shooting, stabbing pains in her abdomen. She made her way unsteadily to the toilet, unsure of which orifice to put towards the bowl. In the end she sat on it and felt a sickening shudder followed by a violent excretion of the life she had within her. She fell to the floor, her blood trailing across the bathroom lino. Before she slid into unconsciousness, the young woman had the strength to pull the flush, so that she would never have to look at the matter she had miscarried.
Lillian heard the screams and was quickly at her daughter’s side. Ascertaining that Shelley was still breathing, she ran downstairs and called an ambulance. When she got back to the bathroom, the young girl was semi-conscious. She looked at her mother and said, – Sorry mum … I didnae even like the boy …
– It’s okay darlin, it’s okay … Lillian wheezed in a soft mantra, moping her sick child’s brow, awaiting the ambulance’s arrival.
They took Shelley into the hospital, where they kept her for a few days. The Doctors told Lillian that she had had a miscarriage with some bad internal bleeding, but there would be no lasting damage. They advised her to put the girl on the pill. Lillian was too relieved to have strong words with her daughter; they would come later.
Sarah visited Shelley and told her that Jimmy was asking after her. Shelley was pleased to hear this. Jimmy was okay. Not as cool as Liam, but better than that Alan Devlin, who had just used her, getting her pregnant like that. She felt relieved. Whatever she told herself, she hadn’t really wanted a baby.
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Alan Devlin was upset when he re-discovered his brother Mikey, only to find that he had been sent to jail. The polis finally caught up with him for that wounding offence at Waverley Station, all those years ago. Alan jacked in the garage job, there seemed little point in hanging around such a dump as Rosewell. These wee lassies from the school were fuckin jailbait and he wanted none of that, he saw what prison was doing to his brother.
Alan had gone back into town, where he met a trendy woman from London at the Edinburgh Festival. He moved down to her place in Camden Town, and currently works behind a bar in Tufnell Park. He regularly returns to Edinburgh, to visit his brother Mikey in Saughton Prison, but he finds the visits very distressing. Mikey has lost his marbles a little, going on about aliens, who come to his cell in the night, and insert all sorts of probes into his orifices.
It hurts Alan to admit it, but he reckons that his brother has become a bit of a shirtlifter on the inside, and all this aliens stuff is just denial.
But in the chilling silence of frozen Earth time, Mikey’s anguished soul screams its mute pleas for assistance and clemency as Tazak’s crew remove his immobilised body from his cell, and take it to their craft for further investigation.
Back in Rosewell, Jimmy is excited; Clint has split the Criminal Injuries Compensation cash with them. It looks like him and Semo are up for Rezurrection this weekend, with Shelley and Sarah.
Copyright
First published in Great Britain in 1996
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This edition first published in 1997 by Rebel Inc., an imprint of
Canongate Books Ltd, 14 High Street, Edinburgh, EH1 1TE
This digital edition first published in 2009 by Canongate Books
Copyright © Contributors, 1996, 1997
Publisher’s Note
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or places is entirely coincidental
Extract from ‘Wonderwall’ by Oasis, reproduced by kind permission of Creation Records
Editor: Kevin Williamson
British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data
A catalogue record for this book is available on request from the British Library
ISBN 978 1 84767 672 6
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