Borrowed Magic

by Shari Lambert

  Anger replaced confusion and he threw his hands in the air. “After what happened in the past, after everything I’ve put you through, you think I’m not willing to listen?”

  “No, but this is different than three years ago.” And it was. Then, Philip was his own man, not possessed by magical spells. Now he was. No matter how much he wanted to believe, he wouldn’t be able to – unless he put on the ring and saw the truth for himself.

  “How is it different?” he demanded.

  “It just is. This is something no one would believe, that no one could believe. I can’t explain any more than that here.” She looked up at him, trying to show that she wasn’t angry, wasn’t spiting him with what happened in the past. “We need to go somewhere more private, where no one can find us. Then, hopefully, you’ll understand.”

  His mouth tightened, and he looked as if he were trying very hard to think before he spoke. “All right, I promise to believe anything you tell me, but I need to know. Now.”

  “You can’t tell anyone. Not even Daric or Adare. Not yet.”

  “You’re really afraid, aren’t you?”

  She nodded and he reached for her hand.

  “Look, Teige. We’re in luck.”

  Daric’s voice registered just as the pain trickled down her arm and she spun around.

  But the faces that greeted her weren’t the ones she expected. Instead of Daric and Teige, she saw Daric and—

  She staggered backwards until Philip’s arm encircled her waist, holding her steady. Daric was at her other side in an instant.

  “Maren, are you ill?”

  Mutely, she shook her head and stepped out of Philip’s arm.

  “I’m so sorry,” she said, her voice shaking. “I wasn’t expecting…you startled me.”

  She cast a fleeting glance at the man who should have been Teige as he stepped from the shadows where two hallways met, and her mind flew back three years.

  She pressed her eyes closed, realizing the magical façade of the castle went even further than she’d thought, that it wasn’t just objects that were affected but people. One person. She forced her eyes back open, hoping it had all been in her imagination. It hadn’t, and she was paralyzed with fear. She wanted nothing more than to flee, desperation clogging her throat and lungs. But she couldn’t fall apart here, in front of him. Then he’d know she’d discovered the truth. He’d…her knees buckled and Philip and Daric were beside her again.

  “Let’s get her to her room. Something’s obviously wrong.” Daric’s voice sounded far away, but it brought a little sense back.

  “No,” she managed. “No, truly I’ll be all right once I lay down. I haven’t felt well all day.”

  Daric’s gaze shifted to Philip.

  His eyes met hers. She tried to communicate her fear, to ask him to be careful.

  “I was just trying to convince her to go to bed. She’s overwrought. Something’s upset her, and I was trying to discover what had happened.”

  “It’s really nothing,” Maren insisted, trying to reassure all three men. Philip wasn’t buying any of it. Daric looked only marginally convinced. And the man who had kept his distance, who now stood with arms folded across his chest leaning nonchalantly against the wall, looked as if he understood all too well. His eyes were narrowed and one corner of his mouth lifted the tiniest bit, as if he was enjoying a joke at her expense.

  As he met her gaze, however, he shrugged away from the wall. “Why don’t we let Lady Maren get some rest? It’s obvious she doesn’t want to tell us what has upset her.”

  She should have been grateful. Instead, his words slipped over her like venom.

  “Thank you…My Lord. I’m sure I’ll be fine tomorrow.” She nodded to all three men, ignored Philip’s stubborn look, and walked the few yards to her room, all the while feeling three sets of eyes watching her.

  As soon as the door was closed, any strength she had left dissolved. He suspected something. She could feel it. And she could still see his half smiling face taunting her, just like it had everyday for the past three years. Only then he wasn’t here with her, in the castle, where she would see him, have to be polite, act as if he wasn’t what he was. She stumbled towards the bed but only made it a few steps before collapsing in a heap on the floor.

  Only one image played through her head. The same face over and over. Kern, trying to kill her three years ago, laughing at her in the hall just now, close friend to the two men she loved most. Terror overwhelmed her and she succumbed to the wracking sobs that had been threatening all day.

  Thirteen

  Maren had decided to wear the ring. She’d debated it back and forth all night as she fought against sleep. In the end, even if it was harder to face, she wanted to see the world as it was. She wanted to see Kern, to not forget exactly what he was.

  She didn’t think he knew with absolute certainty that she’d discovered his secret, but he suspected something. He’d be watching her. And unless he was incredibly unobservant, which she didn’t think he was, he’d also be watching Philip.

  But Philip needed to know the truth. He might be able to help her. He had position. And more than anything else, he might be able to persuade Daric. Maybe. At least someone else would know.

  She stepped outside a few minutes later, and Philip was immediately by her side, offering his arm. She didn’t take it. Teige, no, Kern, would be somewhere close, watching her. Philip frowned, but stayed at her side.

  “I’ve been waiting for you,” he said as they walked towards the horses. He didn’t bother to hide his anxious frustration – or his hurt – and she had to stop herself from telling him everything right then. “I barely slept last night. I was too worried about you.”

  She glanced sideways to see Kern engaged in conversation with Daric. “I’m better this morning.”

  He grabbed her arm and pulled her to a stop. “You’re still afraid. I can see it in your eyes.”

  “Not now,” she whispered, throwing another glance Kern’s direction. “Stay away from me today. Act like nothing happened last night. Meet me in the clearing at midnight.”

  He threw his hands up in frustration and looked like he wanted nothing more than to drag her away and force the truth out of her, but then Kern was there, taking her hand and bowing over it.

  “I hope I’m not interrupting anything?”

  She got a better look at him than she had the night before. In appearance, he was very like Philip. More so than she’d remembered. Same dark hair, same build, same strong jawline. And like his son, he was remarkably handsome, somehow not looking a day over 35. But their eyes were different. Philip’s were kind. Kern’s were full of shadow and darkness and reminded her of just what he could do – what he had done.

  “Not at all,” she managed and pulled her hand away.

  “I hope you’re feeling better.” Kern was all consideration. If it were Teige’s face she saw, she might have even believed it was sincere.

  “Yes, I’m much better.” She forced a polite smile. Hopefully it was enough to convince him nothing was different, that she hadn’t guessed the truth, that she wasn’t so afraid it took everything she had to look him in the eye. “I must apologize for last night. I’ve never been more embarrassed.”

  “Perfectly understandable.” Kern smiled. As before, on Teige maybe it would have looked genuine. On Kern it hid something more sinister. His eyes lingered on her for another moment before giving her a small bow and mounting his horse.

  A few minutes later, she shifted into a more comfortable position in her saddle. A picnic was the last distraction she needed today. Still, her first real ride in years was invigorating, feeling the wind in her hair and the freedom that had been so scarce for so long. But Kern was a dark shadow diminishing her enjoyment. And although he hadn’t bothered her during their ride, staying mostly around Daric and Adare, she felt his eyes following her.

  She shuddered.

  “They do make a disgusting picture, don’t they?” Kern�
��s voice, as well as the pain his presence invoked, was unexpected, and she jerked on the reins so hard the horse came to a stop. She nudged the animal back to a walk. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  He nodded his head towards Philip – and Kira.

  “Oh.” She tried to sound uninterested. “I hadn’t noticed.”

  He laughed. “The scowl on your face says otherwise.”

  Which only made her frown again. “Not that it’s any of your business, but my thoughts were elsewhere.”

  He smiled in a way that made her want to hit him, and she spurred her horse to a canter, hoping he wouldn’t follow. She needed space to breathe. She couldn’t keep up the appearance of calm much longer, but neither could she give herself away. She needed to talk to Philip. She needed him to see the truth. She needed to not be alone.

  She spent the rest of the ride in silence, staying close to Daric and Adare and hoping Kern would get the hint that she didn’t want to speak to him. When they arrived at the spot Daric had chosen for the picnic, everyone dismounted and she was able to busy herself with setting out the food. Then she planted herself next to Daric and Adare instead of settling for somewhere less conspicuous like she normally would. It also put her close to Philip, who had somehow maneuvered himself away from Kira. She glanced his direction and caught his eye for a fraction of a second. Even that scared her. Anyone with enough sense to look closely, which Kern definitely had, might see more than she’d like.

  The next hour was spent avoiding Philip, avoiding Kern, and generally avoiding anything but the plate in front of her. Her only slip was when Philip handed her a plate of strawberries. He brushed his hand against hers and smiled. The next second he’d gone back to his conversation with Daric, but she’d let her guard down. And Kern had seen. He raised his glass to her in a silent toast.

  Maren’s heart thundered and she took a few deep breaths, losing any control she might have had. Trying to hide the truth from Kern, who she knew was testing to see how much she suspected, was hard enough. Hiding the physical pain she was in only made it worse.

  She leaned back against the tree they had all gathered under and closed her eyes. Then nothing could pass between her and Philip, she couldn’t see Kern, and maybe for a minute she could actually feel normal…

  “Lady Maren?”

  She blinked, adjusting to the light and trying to discover who had called her.

  “I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

  This time she knew exactly who it was and fought against the all-too-familiar panic. She needed to remain calm. Even if Kern suspected, he couldn’t know unless she gave herself away.

  “Yes, but that’s all right. I didn’t even realize I’d fallen asleep.” She looked around, searching for an escape, but she and Kern were alone. Adare was on the other side of the clearing with Daric. Philip was being dragged towards the lake by Kira. Everyone else had scattered.

  Kern laughed. “You’re stuck with me. Which, I can assure you, I don’t have any problem with.”

  She glared at him and tried to stand, but he grabbed her arm and she gasped.

  “I’m afraid I can’t let you go until I get some answers.”

  She attempted to pull her arm away but he held firm, leaving her only two options. Either fight him and attempt to escape, or stay. The first option would only draw attention and possibly alert Kern to the fact that her “dislike” was more in the nature of paralyzing fear. She folded her arms across her chest and looked over his shoulder, desperately hoping his questions would be more harmless than he’d made it sound.

  “I want to know what happened between you and Philip three years ago.”

  She looked away again. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Well,” he ran a finger along his jaw, “as far as I can tell, you were best friends growing up and everyone thought you’d marry. Now it’s like watching two strangers. Why is that?”

  “People change. Things change.” She took a deep breath. “That’s all I’m going to say. If you want more information, ask Philip. He’s your best friend.”

  “Yes, he is. And I have asked him. He won’t say any more than you.” Kern frowned. “All right, a different question then. Philip’s let slip a few comments that make me wonder about his relationship with his parents. They didn’t seem to be close.”

  Maren wanted to slap him. Philip loved his parents, his true parents. “Again, you should be asking Philip. If he doesn’t choose to tell you, then it’s really none of your business.”

  A brief flash of annoyance crossed his features. “As his best friend, I think it’s very much my business. Something is bothering him, and I’m trying to discover what it is. I just want to help him.”

  Maren didn’t know whether to believe that or not. Kern was, after all, Philip’s father. Maybe there was some feeling there, underneath the darkness.

  Kern scooted closer and placed his hand next to hers on the ground. Their fingers almost touched, and she could feel the ache in her shoulder start to burn again.

  “You’re the only one who can help.”

  His warm breath brushed the side of her face, and her eyes flew to his, scared that at any minute he’d finish what he’d started three years ago.

  The only thing she seemed capable of doing was thinking one thing over and over: She had to protect herself. She had to survive.

  “Maren, I don’t want to hurt Philip. I just want to understand him better.”

  She had to protect herself. She had to survive.

  “You can help me do that. You knew him growing up. You knew his parents.”

  Protect herself. Survive.

  “Please, Maren.”

  She had to protect herself. She had to— Her shoulder burst into pain and she swallowed the cry in her throat, terrified he’d see her fear, that he would know she could see through his spells, that he’d kill her.

  She had to protect herself. She had to survive. Her shoulder started to burn like fire and then…then it dulled to a comfortable warmth that spread down her arm and across her chest and back. And then the pain was gone. Completely gone.

  It was as if she could truly breathe for the first time in years, and she took a moment to relish the fact before focusing back on Kern, who had stopped talking. Instead, his gaze circled the clearing, searching for something – or someone. His brows were drawn and his mouth set in a firm, angry line.

  What had just happened? Her shoulder hurt in a different way than it ever had before, then it didn’t, really didn’t. And now Kern was acting strange. It had to be related.

  She stole another glance at Kern. He’d risen to his feet and was deliberately shifting his focus between the other people scattered around the clearing. His body was tense, as if he was expecting someone to attack.

  Which made no sense at all. He was a powerful mage. The only force that could challenge him would be another mage. And there weren’t any of them here.

  But Kern was…not afraid. That was too strong. Anxious. As if he’d sensed— The world around her stilled.

  Magic. He’d sensed the use of magic. But how? Nothing she’d ever learned or studied during the siege said mages could sense magic. It was why they were so suspicious of each other, why they set up wards of protection around themselves. What was different now? Her brows drew together. And then it clicked. He’d sensed the use of his own magic. Magic she had inside her. Magic she’d— Magic she’d used somehow.

  She knew it. Deep down and with a surety that surprised her. She’d used Kern’s magic, the magic trapped in her body. She didn’t know how. She didn’t know why or what had triggered it, or if she’d ever be able to do it again.

  “My Lord?”

  Kern’s eyes flicked back to her. “I’m sorry, I thought I felt…never mind.” He let out a long breath and gave her a persuasive smile. “Just one question?”

  One question. She wasn’t in pain. In fact, she had a strange level of confidence. She might even learn someth
ing that might help somehow, especially now that she had a clear mind. “All right. One question.”

  Kern thought for a minute. “I can tell that Philip truly loved his mother. What I don’t know is what his relationship with his…father was like.”

  She hadn’t missed his pause. What she didn’t know was whether Kern was feeling envy, or hatred. “His relationship with his father was complicated. Lord Nicholas didn’t always understand that Philip was just being a boy. I think, in retrospect, he was worried he’d—”

  Kern’s eyes narrowed. “He’d what?”

  “He’d turn out like Kern.” She didn’t believed she dared say it, but when he only stared calmly back at her, she continued. “I think they came to a better understanding as Philip got older. And no matter what reservations Lord Nicholas might have had, they loved each other. Nicholas was truly his father.”

  The muscles in Kern’s jaw tensed.

  She should have stopped there, but something pushed her forward. “Nicholas did grow to recognize that Philip wasn’t Kern. When Philip left, he was heartbroken. He felt like it was his fault, that he hadn’t had enough faith in Philip.”

  It took Kern a minute to speak. “Well that does explain a lot. But how any father couldn’t have faith in his own son is…” The darkest look she’d ever seen flitted across his face and she shivered.

  The next minute it was gone and he stood. “Should we join the others?” She took his offered hand, and he pulled her up. Any relief from the pain came rushing back, and she let go and backed away, tripping over an exposed root. Her hands shot out, trying to catch her fall, but it was too late. She moaned and started to get back up, but her stomach knotted. Philip’s ring had somehow twisted around during the fall. The black stone gleamed up at her. She quickly spun it back into place just as Kern reached for her arm.

  “Lady Maren, are you all right?”

  “Yes. I just tripped.”

  His smile was back, plastered across his face like always. Pushing back the pain, she placed her hand on his arm and allowed him to lead her towards the rest of the party.