The Stars Landing Deviant

by Jessica Gadziala

  And even if I stopped taking so many jobs for EM and focused on private clients so I could be somewhat closer to Stars Landing... it probably still wouldn't be enough. Also, "closer to" Stars Landing still meant a grueling six or more hour drive depending on traffic.

  "Earth to Cordelia," James said, looking amused.

  "Did Dane turn your brain to mush already?" Emily asked and I felt my face turn beet red.

  "Sorry. I just have a lot on my mind I guess."

  "Well," James said, slapping his hand down on Emily's leg as he stood. "This sounds like girl talk. I am going to go find some men and do some manly things. Grunting at a car engine, eating chicken wings, spitting..."

  "What a stud," Emily said, rolling her eyes as she reached up to grab the front of his shirt, pulling him down for a long goodbye kiss. Like... long. There were tongues involved.

  "So," Emily said as James walked up toward Devon. "You and Dane."

  "Me and Dane," I agreed, feeling partially awkward, but also excited. It was nice to have someone to talk to about it. I didn't really have a lot of friends. Alright... if you didn't include people I kept somewhat in touch with that I worked with at some point... then I had no friends.

  And I needed a girl to talk to.

  "Spill," she said, tapping her hands on the arm of her chair. She was an endless well of energy at all times. She was always straightening things, running around, tapping her hands or feet. She was always on the move. Except when James was around. She was as still as could be when he was

  next to her. A part of me wondered if she noticed that.

  "What do you want to know?"

  "I want to know what kind of voodoo spell you have that man under to have him letting you sleep over his place every day and worrying about you like an abandoned puppy when you went away for a few days."

  "But..." I said, my brows drawing together. "You two used to be together. For a while Dane said."

  She smiled, looking out the window for a second. "Dane and I were never really together. No matter how much I might have tried to delude myself into thinking we were at times. We were genuinely just friends with benefits. We had been friends for so long and one day we just... starting having sex too. But there just... there were no feelings more than friendship. I knew that. He knew that. And then one day he just up and left."

  "To California."

  "Yes, well... he didn't say that. He didn't say anything. He just disappeared. I found that out when he came back... after I had started... screwing around with James. So you can see my interest here. What are you guys doing? Just fucking?"

  I snorted at her frankness. From what I could tell about Emily, she was always painfully blunt. She had a tendency to stick her foot into her mouth and use a lot of foul language.

  Everyone loved her for it. "He... asked me to be his girlfriend."

  She choked on the coffee she had just brought to her lips. Full-on, couldn't catch her breath choking. Enough to have James and Devon come glance in. She waved them away, wiping her mouth. "You're shitting me."

  "Nope," I said, not being able to hold back a smile.

  "Wow. I mean like... seriously... wow. That's really impressive. Congratulations."

  "Um... thanks?" I said, laughing nervously.

  "I know he has this reputation around here. And a part of him believes it too. But Dane is one of the good guys. Despite the long, long, long..."

  "I get it," I laughed.

  "Long list of women," she finished. "He's a sweetheart. Don't you dare ever tell him I said that," she warned.

  "Your secret is safe with me."

  "He was the one to try to shake me out of my funk when I was crushed about that asshole out there," she said, nodding her head at James. "He's been there through everything for me. He was always there for his family when they lived here. He'd do anything for James and Eric. Actually... for most of the people in this town. He's fiercely loyal to the people he lets himself care for. You're actually really lucky."

  "I know," I nodded, thinking over the past few days. The getting to know him better stage. I heard stories about his family and his eyes were warm. He told me about the trouble he and Eric O'reilly used to get into as kids. How they fought over women when they were teenagers. He told me about his new found friendship with James. He told me everything and there was genuine affection in his tone.

  He was a good guy. No matter what he thought of himself. No matter what the women of the town said. He was good. And he was all mine. Completely mine. Even if it wasn't for forever. Having someone be yours... fully and entirely yours for any period of time is more than a lot of people will ever get.

  "Hey you know what?" Emily said, breaking my train of thought.

  "What?"

  "Why don't you take the rest of the day off, go over to the bar, drag him out and fuck him until you two can't even think straight?"

  I laughed, already entirely too excited about the idea. "That sounds like a good plan."

  "Yeah," she said, looking at James. "I think I might need the afternoon off as well."

  I got up, winking at James and Devon as I walked past and quickly making my way down the street.

  I would miss this. Not just Dane. Dane who I was going to miss like a limb. But the me I got to be with him. Lighter. More free. Happy to play hookie from work and go have wild and inventive sex. The me that had a tight fist of control on her anxiety and who wasn't constantly consumed with thoughts about the possible future.

  And I would miss the town. I would miss Emily and James and Devon. I would miss the small, uniquely stocked bookstore and the market that was full of food from the farms of the Stars Landing residents. I would miss the sense of community, the feeling that everyone was just one big family.

  "Girl," a voice said, a voice that sounded the slightest bit familiar, but I couldn't place it. I turned around to see the woman from the night I got drunk at the bar. I only had a fuzzy memory of her... yelling at Dane about something. Then I remember something about her being a psychic.

  "Hey," I said, my brows drawing together.

  "Not everything is how it seems," she said cryptically, looking torn. Like she wanted to say more but couldn't. Or wouldn't. She reached for her trashy mass market romance novel, sliding something out from between the pages. "Here. You're going to need this. Open it after," she told me.

  "After what?" I asked, but she was already walking away. I shrugged, keeping it in my hand and deciding to open it with Dane. Maybe he could shed some light on the weirdness of that interaction. "Mama Maude" he had called her. He had to know quite a bit about her and her odd ways.

  I turned and walked toward the bar which was open every other weekday afternoon even though it was usually dead. I pulled the door open, a big smile on my face, happy for the opportunity to take the lead. To seduce him for a change.

  I was going to find him wherever he was, slam him against a wall and go down on him. I was going to make him beg to fuck me. And then he was going to shove me against the wall and fuck me hard and fast, pulling my hair and clamping a hand over my mouth to keep my moans contained.

  I could feel my desire build, a hot and pulsating need deep inside pleading to be calmed.

  He wasn't behind the bar or cleaning like he usually was. There were two farmers at the bar, their clothes still dirty from the field, sharing a cold beer after, I imagined, just making a delivery to the grocery store. The music on the radio was something slow and bluesy, the man's voice a crooning lament to love lost. It was a strange choice for Dane.

  I glanced around for a second before I saw him. He was sitting at a table, his elbow on the surface, holding his head and looking utterly lost. That was what I couldn't look away from. Dane was a lot of things: strong, intimidating, cocky, obnoxious, easy going, sometimes even funny. It was completely disarming to see him look so defeated. So shattered. It was enough to have me stay still, unsure if I should go to him or not.

&nb
sp; I had just made the decision to go, to be a good girlfriend, to be there for him through whatever he was going through, when I saw her.

  He wasn't alone at the table.

  The woman was probably around my age, maybe a little younger. Pretty. No, not just pretty. That was my jealousy doing her that disservice. She was gorgeous. Breathtaking. Tall, at least five foot seven with long legs and an impressive backside in a flowing black maxi dress. She had long cascades of strawberry blond curls to her waist. Her pixie face was fine boned with a sprinkling of charming freckles over the bridge of her nose and huge green eyes.

  Her hand went to Dane's arm, right below the crook of his elbow as she spoke to him.

  From across the room, I couldn't make out the words, just the tone. Just her milk and honey voice.

  And I was frozen. I was helpless to do anything but watch. Because maybe a part of me was waiting for proof it was innocent, that my instinctual distrustful nature was unfounded. Wrong.

  I wanted so badly to be wrong. Because if I was right...

  No.

  She was just some customer. Maybe even one of his many old lovers. Someone he was breaking the news to. Someone who had been out of town and didn't know he was a taken man. Or maybe she was someone who just wouldn't take no for an answer. I could absolutely see him bringing the crazy out of women. He was probably really good at that.

  But then she moved around the table toward him, stepping into the space between his open legs and wrapping her arms around his waist. Which could have been innocent. I was busy trying to convince myself of that when she reached out toward the back of his head, stroking the hair on his neck and moving forward to plant a kiss on his lips.

  A gasp caught in my throat as I swung around, wrenching the door open and throwing myself out onto the street.

  No.

  No no no no no.

  People were everywhere and I swore they could all read the look on my face. I ran around the side of the bar and rushed into the privacy of the woods. My heels caught on a downed branch and I kicked out of them, pushing further into the trees in my bare feet, the brambles and stones cutting into my soles but I didn't even notice.

  Because all I could focus on was the pain inside.

  There are all kinds of descriptions about heartbreak. There were pages of words that I had cried over in books. There were hours of music I had sang along to. All of them fell short. There was nothing that could describe it. Nothing that could come close.

  Because I was being ripped apart. That's what it was like. Like someone had taken their hand, dug it into my throat, and pulled downward, ripping through my chest and stomach, pulling out everything vital.

  That was what heartache felt like. Like being mauled. Like being torn apart but you couldn't fight it, you couldn't scream. You just had to take it. Feel it. Live through it.

  I was completely lost a while later, finding myself by a massive stream I could pull off a full-on Ophelia in. I dropped down on my knees next to the water, waiting for the tears to come, waiting for the sobbing that I felt like I was choking on.

  But it didn't come.

  I sat there listening to the water running over the rocks, the birds in the trees above me, the rabbits scurrying around. I listened to the sound of my heartbeat, normal, even. Like I wasn't completely falling apart. Like my body couldn't muster the energy to even work itself up into a respectable panic attack.

  I was, I realized with surprise, completely and utterly numb. I should have been a wreck. I should have been sobbing and screaming. I should have been cursing Dane Broderick until heaven and hell heard me. I should have been losing my shit.

  But I felt a disarming kind of calm.

  And I felt absolutely no desire to move. I didn't want to go back to the inn and face Emily and James. Or go back in town and confront Dane. Or even to run back to the city and tell Elliott Michaels that he could take this job and shove it. I just wanted to stay there. In my own personal sanctuary, lulled by the river and the sounds of nature, completely unconcerned with my presence. I scooted over toward a sprawling patch of soft-looking moss and laid myself down on it.

  I could stay there.

  So I did.

  I was shocked awake by the sound of voices later. A lot later. The sky above me was wrong. It should have been the reddish, burnt look of sunset. But it wasn't. It was the bright, yellow light of early morning. I blinked at it in confusion, looking down at the water.

  "Is that... someone... right... over..." a female voice said from a distance.

  "Hey," another voice called, male. "Hey. You alright over there?"

  I pushed myself up, brushing the leaves and dirt off the side of my face. Which was wet. That was really weird. What the hell was going on?

  "Hey," the male voice said, coming up right next to me.

  "Hey," I said, sounding groggy. I looked over to find one of the O'reilly brothers kneeling next to me. Not the bookstore one, Liam. The other one. This was Eric. The one that was good friends with Dane.

  Oh, god... Dane.

  The pain came back again, stronger this time, the clawing, the ripping. I put a hand to my chest as if I could hold all my insides in.

  "What's wrong, sweetheart?" he asked, reaching out to my face, wiping away the wetness I had noticed earlier.

  I flinched away, ducking my head and wiping my cheeks. I must have been crying in my sleep. "I'm fine. I just... fell asleep."

  "In the woods?" the female voice asked, coming in closer. "Oh my god. Cordy?"

  My head snapped up, placing the voice too late. Lena. Lena Edwards. She used to work for EM Corp. She used to be Elliott Michaels' Girl Friday. What the hell was she doing in Stars Landing? "Lena? What are you doing here?"

  "I live here now," she said, elbowing Eric out of the way and sliding in beside me, looking worried. "I started dating this fool," she said, nodding toward Eric, "and opened my own baking business. Cordy," she said, her voice worried. "Are you okay? What are you doing sleeping in the woods? And why are you crying?"

  "I'm not," I said, but even as I said it, I realized I was.

  And nothing else in the world could have been more humiliating.

  "Eric," she said, not looking at him. "Go get lost."

  There was the slightest of pauses and I swear you could hear them having a mental conversation about me. Then he drew a breath. "Yes, ma'am," he said, walking away.

  "Alright," Lena said. "Let's try this again. What's going on?"

  "I guess he doesn't really love me," I grumbled, my voice pathetic.

  "Who doesn't love you?"

  "Dane."

  "Dane Broderick?" she asked, sounding shocked. "You've been sleeping with Dane Broderick?" Her tone suggested it was the most absurd thing she had ever heard in her life. Because boring, uptight Cordelia Cameron didn't do stuff like that.

  "Well I was supposed to be his girlfriend," I said, shrugging.

  "Seriously? We are talking about the same Dane here, right?" she asked, her tone amused.

  "I know. He's a whore. But he told me he loved me and he asked me to be his girlfriend. And everything was good. I mean it was good until..."

  "Until it wasn't," she finished, saving me from having to explain. Bless her.

  "Yeah."

  "Well," she said, nodding, sitting back on her heels, "there might be a time and a place for falling asleep in rivers. This isn't one of them."

  I felt myself snort, shaking my head. "I believe I fell asleep near the river, not in it."

  "Right," she said, getting onto her feet and holding a hand down to me. "Well, I am assuming you aren't planning on pulling a Snow White and living here..."

  "I was considering it," I said and she laughed.

  "So I'll get you out of here so you can walk back to the inn."

  "Thanks, Lena," I said a while later as we walked in silence.

  "No problem," she said, bumping my shoulder. "Girls like us need t
o stick together."

  "Girls like what?"

  "Good girls who fall in love with the bad boys," she said as we broke out of the woods.

  "If you need anything," she said, waving down toward the street, "you can usually find me in the apartment above the mechanic shop."

  "Okay," I said, nodding. "Thanks again."

  She gave me a tight-lipped smile and I turned and walked back toward the inn.

  I guess Lena was right. I was a trope. I was a stereotype. He was the bad boy and I was the silly good girl who thought she could change his ways.

  And I guess, at the end of the day, when you fall in love with a bad boy, you can't really be mad when they end up doing bad things to you.

  Eighteen

  Cordelia

  There were raised voices coming from inside the inn. I heard them as soon as I stepped onto the porch, inching quietly across the creaky boards and moving next to the screen door and listening.

  "What the fuck do you mean don't panic?" Dane yelled and his voice was like a stabbing somewhere in my core.

  "Dane..." Emily's voice tried to reason.

  "Her car is here. She's not in her room or anywhere in town. I'm going to fucking panic."

  There was a long pause and I could hear him pacing. "When was the last time anyone saw her?"

  "Yesterday afternoon," James supplied. "Emily decided to call the day short and she was leaving to come to the bar to see you."

  "Well she didn't get there. So where the fuck could she have gotten to without her car?"

  "I'll call her," James said.

  Fat lot of good it would do them. My phone was on the nightstand upstairs.

  "Shit," Dane cursed as, I presumed, James hung up unsuccessfully.

  What did he care? I mean seriously. If all the love stuff was just bullshit, what did he care if I was missing? Why wasn't he fucking his pretty strawberry blond girl?

  "I'm going to call Aiden," Dane said finally.

  Who was Aiden?

  "It's a little early to get the sheriff involved," Devon reasoned.