Blood of the Pure (Gaea)

by Sophia CarPerSanti

  “Master gave me a body, and a shape, and a name. He created all that I am today. And because of that I can speak, and touch, and smell, and be. When you don’t have a body, no one recognizes your existence. We are but aren’t at the same time. The world doesn’t see you, only slightly senses your presence. It’s very sad, very lonely. I could hardly believe when Master chose me,” he added with a beautiful smile. How could a demon smile like that?

  “And what about him?” I asked, lowering my voice as if he could be listening.

  “My Master is a Shedim, a pure blood,” he stated proudly, straightening his back with a solemn expression. “Only a Shedim would have enough power to give a body to a Ruhim.”

  “The sin of the sinners. Why?”

  “Because the Law states that Deiwos aren’t allowed to breed. And that’s why there’s so few of them,” he noted with a sorrowful tone.

  “Law?”

  “The Law that rules over all of us. The Lex Regis. What you like to call Divine Law?”

  “Divine Law,” I repeated. Were we talking about God now? “And does that ... God. Does he really exist?”

  “Hmm, I don’t know,” he answered thoughtfully. “No one really knows. I think that only the Shedim know the answer to that question. But the Law is very real.” I took a deep breath in relief glad I didn’t have to deal with the question of the existence of God just yet, and focused my attention on that Law.

  “This Law, is it written somewhere?”

  “No. There’s no need for that. We all know it by heart. Only the Human Beings, while they live as such, are allowed to forget the Law. Because Human Beings are allowed to choose.”

  “But if the Law can be broken, doesn’t that imply a choice? You can choose to break it or not.”

  “Breaking the Law leads to the destruction of what we are.”

  I felt confused... how so? He’d just told me that the existence of beings like Gabriel were against the Law. But they clearly existed, right? “I don’t understand. I can’t see where the difference is. Our choices also have consequences.” I stated defensively. After all, that mess was exactly that, the consequences of a choice I’d made.

  “But there’s a big difference. As Humans you can always decide to go back and correct your mistakes or just start all over. For us, breaking the Law seals our fate.”

  “So, for example, if Deiwos,” I began, trying to use his own words, “can’t have children, what happens to those that decide to have them?”

  “As I said, they’re destroyed.” He answered me with such a matter-of-fact tone that I was speechless. “No female survives a birth.”

  “And what about the males?”

  “Males are spared,” he said, shrugging. “I think the Law has established that females are the ones responsible for the decision to procreate or not. After all, if a female decides not to have a child, it is in her power to do so.” I didn’t know what shocked me most, his words or the calm, cold way he spoke them.

  “Then why? Why do they break the Law?” I managed to ask.

  “For none of the noble reasons you might be imagining,” Lea smiled coldly. His tone became hard and dry. “It’s all a game of power the Shedim play generation after generation. Shedim are the most powerful of all Deiwos and, logically, the stronger clans are those who have in their midst the highest number of Shedim. So, females are used to breed children, and males to give power to the clans that are normally ruled by a dominant male.”

  “That’s horrible,” I whispered.

  “It’s what it is.”

  “So they’re born to die?” I questioned in disbelief.

  “They know that’s their fate. It’s the only way the power of a given clan can grow. Females are rare and precious, and are carefully guarded and taken care off. When there’s a war between clans, the loser also loses all their females to the winner. And so the only chance for that clan to survive is by stealing other weaker clan females.” I could immediately foresee the numerous wars and blood baths that a system like that would result in.

  “And the children?”

  “They’re normally raised by Mazzikin, at least while that’s possible. As they grow, many Shedim become completely uncontrollable and will only obey before a stronger male. The only thing they respect is the hierarchy of their own caste. But not Master. Master isn’t like that,” he added vehemently and I took a deep breath.

  I wondered if I should be frightened by the atrocities I now knew he was capable of or relieved since even though he was clearly a terrible monster, he seemed to be a monster with a huge amount of self-control.

  I stroked his soft hair since I couldn’t really tell him that I didn’t share an ounce of his faith in him, and stood up smiling.

  “And what about lunch?”

  His silver eyes came alight when a bright childish smile stretched over his face.

  “Pizza!” he said, expectantly, and I nodded.

  “Pizza it is!”

  I picked Lea up so he wouldn’t have to walk downstairs, and went down to the kitchen. I carefully sat him on a chair and went to inspect the freezer.

  After placing two pizzas in the oven and setting the timer, I sat at the table in front of him to dig deeper for information.

  “OK,” I started. “Let’s see if I understood everything. You guys are Deiwos, what we call demons, right? But are from different castes. He is a pure blood demon, born from other demons. And you ... you were an immaterial demon, and he gave you a body and a name.” Lea nodded slightly, confirming my conclusions, and I sighed feeling tired. “Then there are the ones that were angels and the others that were Humans, like me.” He nodded again. “Before he was Sealed, where was he Sealed?” I asked, noticing I still hadn’t that piece of information, and Lea’s expression became darker.

  “Between dimensions, between spaces, between times, where there’s nothing.”

  Nothing. I recalled that was the exact same word that occurred to me the first time I’d seen the darkness that had appeared in my room, that black substance from where he’d emerged. The evocation had probably opened a portal to that inter-dimension, I supposed. It was the most acceptable explanation at that moment.

  “So I freed him from that nothing and he called you,” I said and Lea nodded with a renewed smile. It was clear that his reunion with Gabriel was a good memory. “Why did he call you?”

  “Because I’m always by Master’s side,” he stated proudly.

  “You also have powers, right?” I asked, making him look uncomfortable for the first time. “You were the one who made it so that I couldn’t move, right?”

  “Yes,” he confessed, looking away with a sorrowful expression.

  “What else can you do?”

  “Other things. But now I’m not allowed to use my powers. Master forbade me.”

  “Hmm, because of what happened?” I guessed and his unhappy expression was enough to confirm it. “But you still changed shapes.”

  “Because Master told me I wasn’t allowed to upset you. And you were worried and almost crying,” he lamented. “And I thought it was better like this, so that we could ... talk.”

  I leaned my head on my hand. “That doesn’t please me at all,” I retorted and he looked startled, perhaps afraid of having committed some unforgivable sin. “When you talk like that, it almost sounds like he did what he did to protect me.”

  “But it’s the truth! Master is always watching over you! Always!” he exclaimed.

  “I understand that he is perfect in your eyes,” I argued and Lea smiled.

  “Of course he’s perfect. But even if you don’t see it like that, you can’t deny that he saved you ... from me. Isn’t that enough proof that he’s always watching over you?”

  I recalled his surprised expression when I hit him and couldn’t help feel bad. In my panic I’d made a mistake because I didn’t know how to react. He’d helped me and I’d dumped all my fear and anger on him. But still, I couldn’t exactly just ask him for f
orgiveness! I decided that I didn’t like the direction our talk was taking and stood up with the excuse of checking on our pizzas. But his words still rang in my mind.

  “Just a bit more and you’ll be telling me that he’s all good and I should trust him!” I harshly pointed out. The pizzas still weren’t ready.

  “Well, good and bad are things that can’t really be defined. To me good is all that makes me happy. Bad is all that makes me sad and brings me pain. To me, Master is good, yes.” I went back to my place, understanding his way of thinking.

  “If that’s how it is, then to me your Master is bad. Because he scares me and made me agree with a Contract I never wished to accept! And because of that I’ll probably have to do things I really don’t want to do!” I countered.

  “I understand, but there are still many things that you don’t know. From the moment you evoked my Master, there was no other way. We aren’t allowed to choose.”

  “What do you mean? That an evocation always means a Contract?”

  “It always means an exchange. And an exchange can only be replaced by another exchange of similar value.” I didn’t understand a single word he’d said and mentally prepared myself before continuing.

  “Explain,” I demanded and he hesitated for a moment. I thought he’d end up telling me he wasn’t allowed to talk about that. After all, if I’d been having that same conversation with Gabriel, he would have told me long ago that those were things that didn’t concern me.

  “In an evocation something is always offered in return for the appearance of an entity,” he finally told me. “Only a powerful and experienced Magic user is able to deceive or even completely avoid that exchange. And when the entity evoked is a Shedim, the chances of that being possible are even slimmer.”

  “But I ... I didn’t offer anything!” I contested with all my feelings of injustice blurting out of my mouth, and he looked away.

  “But you did. You offered your blood and your eternity, which in Magic language means your Soul. Blood is the red thread of destiny that connects the Soul to the body, and the infinite symbol refers to the infinite cycle of Humans’ death and reincarnation.” I sat stunned. I remembered the symbol I’d drawn in the middle of the pentagram, the symbol I’d drawn in my own blood. Was that it? That meaningless thing? Had those mere drops of blood sealed my fate, pawning my Soul to that demon? Was there anything more unfair than that? “It seems my Master exchanged that Contract for another one that would spare your life,” he added and I frowned deeply annoyed.

  “The way you say it, it almost sounds like he did what he did with the sole purpose of saving me! When I know perfectly well that, by his will, he’d kill me right there and then! That something else happened that made him change his mind! He didn’t spare me out of the goodness of his heart,” I sarcastically added. “He did it because there’s something he wants from me! And he needs me alive to get it!”

  “Yes, that might have been true, but in this horrible world everything’s always changing,” he commented in disgust and I decided to make him return to our previous point.

  “So this Contract is the replacement of the original exchange brought upon by the evocation,” I concluded and Lea nodded. “Why does he want this Contract so much? What does he want from me?”

  “I’m not allowed to talk about the Contract,” he replied with an unhappy expression. I finally reached the limit of what he could tell me.

  “And everything else? Is it all right to tell me? He has always refused to answer my questions.”

  “But not because he doesn’t wish you to know the answers. Master explained to me that the Human mind is very confusing and that he didn’t wish to confuse you more,” he told me in that almost tone of adoration. I stood up once again. Only one minute to go, so I stopped the timer and took the pizzas out of the oven. Hearing him talk like that about Gabriel annoyed me and made me angry, and I didn’t want to release all my bottled up frustration on that child.

  I set the plates on the table and sliced the pizzas. His childish expression brightened with an expectant smile when I placed them on the table. I opened the fridge to take out the peach juice and poured him a glass.

  Lea was looking at the pizzas as if they were the most beautiful things he’d ever seen in his entire life, and I couldn’t help smile.

  “Take one,” I encouraged and he looked at me in wonder.

  “Can I really?”

  “Of course,” I conceded and he hurriedly pushed a slice over to his plate. “But be car ...”

  “Ouch!” he complained, waving his burnt hand in the air and blowing his small fingers.

  “Be careful, it’s hot,” I warned too late and he smiled at me as if that slice of pizza had been the best gift he’d received in a long time.

  Blowing his hands and slices of pizza alternately, he eventually managed to fill his mouth, having to open it twice to release hot waves of smoke, his tongue probably burning. I laughed at his clumsy haste and thought even in that he was just like any other small boy.

  “Take it easy. The food’s not going to run away,” I observed and he tried to control a little bit of the voracity with which he was devouring slices of pizza one after the other. “You really like it, huh?” I asked before his clear expression of happiness, his mouth and cheeks stained with tomato sauce, and Lea nodded munching, his mouth completely full.

  “Ix lealy wood!” he claimed and I laughed. It’s only pizza.

  I went back to my seat and took a slice from one of the plates, eating as I observed him. What was I supposed to do now? My problems seemed to grow day by day. Just yesterday my worries had been centered on Michael. That morning I’d been forced to exchange Michael for Stephanie. And now Lea.

  Suddenly, an idea crossed my mind. Maybe he could help me!

  “Lea, do you know where your Master is?” I asked and he put down his half eaten slice, swallowing as he shook his head. “Do you usually know where he is?” I insisted and he sighed sadly.

  “I used to, but then, Master isn’t his usual self,” he added shyly. I was right then. Something had happened. “That’s why ... that’s why I wanted to take him home, even if it meant that he’d be angry with me. Even if it meant that he wouldn’t want me anymore. But I failed.”

  I felt sorry for him and, at the same time, really stupid. If he had succeeded I’d be dead by now.

  “But why? What happened? I also thought he was acting strange, on Tuesday,” I shared in hopes that it would encourage him to talk, but Lea just shook his head and kept silent.

  I felt defeated, and once more unconsciously took on the role of cheering him up.

  “Come, now, don’t be sad. You’ll see. He’ll be back to his usual self in no time. How about a bowl of ice cream for dessert?” I suggested and his head immediately shot up, but the smile on his face wasn’t enough to deceive me. I knew them all too well; fake smiles, destined to appease and comfort those around us. I’d been using them all my life.

  Chapter Ten

  ASP

  – Kether. The Hierophant prepares the Candidate.

  The Vision of the Ineluctable Destiny. 1 –

  “Unavoidably, subtly, almost unnoticed, the chains that bind me grow ever stronger,

  heavier and certainly unbreakable.

  The promise that I may one day return to what I used to be slowly fades away,

  and my new me is molded step by step, pain by pain, smile by smile...”

  * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

  I

  spent the rest of the long weekend with Lea and, thanks to him, time went by quickly, unable to consume me as it surely would have, had I stayed home alone during those four days.

  Friday I received a call from Michael, wondering if everything was all right, worried that he hadn’t seen me the day before. I apologized for having missed him at school and, when he asked if I wanted to meet him that afternoon, I used the same excuse I’d used with my classmates, telling him that my aunt had come to spend t
he weekend, since it was Good Friday and all.

  I tried to reach Steph during the whole weekend, but to no avail. Her mother delivered me the same excuses over and over again — either she wasn’t home or she couldn’t get to the phone. I couldn’t help noticing her guilty tone as she had to lie to me repeatedly, making it clear that Steph was now avoiding me. I still tried to question Lea a few more times about what had happened last Tuesday, but he either told me that he didn’t know, or honestly replied that he wasn’t allowed to talk about that.

  Over those four days I found out there were a lot of things Lea wasn’t allowed to talk about and, although I’d never had so many answers before, there were a lot more questions that needed to be asked.

  Lea still slept on my bed, like he used to do when he was in his feline shape. Right from the start, I just couldn’t gather enough courage to tell him ‘no’ when he looked at me with his pleading expression and lonely silver eyes. And so, he curled up under my quilt, his face alight with such an intense happiness that I was immediately and completely defeated. Which also meant that every morning I woke up with his small, child-like body curled against mine, as if he needed human warmth to survive. Watching him sleep, quietly, his light soft hair spread over my pillow, always made me smile. Even though he now looked like a child, most of the times he still behaved like a small animal.

  As promised, his wound disappeared completely after twenty-four hours and his skin totally recovered, without a single scar. His appetite was even more voracious than mine, although as I watched him eat I was sure he did it more for the pleasure it gave him and not as much for need to feed.

  Sunday Lea asked me if we could go out and so we went to a nearby park. I watched as he looked all around him with wide-eyed amazement, detaining his marveled gaze over the most simple and mundane things, like trees, bushes and even the smallest of leaves or the green grass under his feet. When I asked him about the reason behind all those amazed expressions, Lea explained me that he only knew the world outside through cat’s eyes. And everything changed, forms and colors, when he saw it through Human eyes. I didn’t quite understand, but didn’t want to spoil his happiness with more questions. I sat on a wood bench as I watched him run and laugh to himself with that pure, straightforward happiness that only children can feel. Of course, I knew he was far from being Human, that ultimately he was nothing like me and everything like Gabriel. Still, I couldn’t make myself fear him, or hate him, or resent him. Painfully enough, I had to admit that child-like demon had completely won me over, a thought that made me shiver. He is a demon ... he is a demon, I repeated over and over, but stupidly enough those words held no meaning whatsoever. It was like forcing myself to believe that the trees around me were street lamps.