I took a deep breath, contracting the muscles in my arms to make sure that they’d obey me, and a crawled on my hands and knees towards him.
“What are you doing?”
His soft but cold voice made me stop for a moment and I took the chance to recover from what looked like an immeasurable effort. Still I couldn’t help smile.
“What does it look like?” I asked and, as he didn’t answer, I decided to crawl some more.
The tremors came back ruthlessly, making my whole body hurt even more than it already did. But, even so, I only stopped right in front of him, sitting on my heels.
“Those eyes ... are terrible,” I noted between forced inspirations. His presence, even contained, was too intense and palpably threatening. “Is that anger? Desire to kill someone?” I asked and his lips moved all so slightly, just enough to let a few words escape them.
“To shred to pieces.”
His voice sounded like an icy thin blade cutting through the air, making me sick. Because that was the true voice of his Soul.
“Me? Or her?” He was silent again, but I couldn’t help noticing how hard he was clenching his hands. “This was my choice,” I reminded him and the air around became even heavier, making it even harder to breathe.
“Get away from me, Mari.” His dark whisper brought back all the irritation I’d carefully been ignoring these last few days. There he was again! Trying to avoid me!
“Why? Are you going to tell me it’s not safe?” I provoked him and saw him slightly frown.
“I’m trying ... really hard ... to keep myself under control.”
“Isn’t that why you’re here?” I asked. I knew all too well that I should have woken in an empty room with the certainty that he was somewhere out there, looking for my attacker.
“It’s easier keeping control over myself when I’m near you,” he said and I smiled ironically.
“Are you using me as if I were one of your Seals?” I asked, knowing he wouldn’t answer. “All right then,” I agreed and crawled to his side, lying on the floor beside him. Everything remotely similar to a standing position was just too painful to keep up for long and I sighed in relief when I no longer had to try and keep my body up straight. I took a peek at him, noticing that he’d followed me with his gaze, and smiled. “If that’s how it is, I may as well stay close by, right? So that we can be sure that you won’t simply explode with half the city,” I added jokingly, although I was quite aware of just how serious the situation really was, and he took a deep breath of defeat.
I saw him release the strength with which he squeezed his hands together and, with a slow movement that seemed to take an eternity, he placed a hand over my head. The coolness of his skin reminded me of the relief I’d felt when he’d touched me before, as he made me sleep. And I noticed that his hand was slightly shaking, recalling what he’d told me about always being afraid to hurt me with his inhuman strength.
“I wish ... you would stop trembling,” he told me and, somehow, it sounded as if his tone had changed, and I immediately recognized that shadowy pain that always made me suffer as well. I placed my hand over his, his soft cold skin sending an electrical tingling up my arm, and firmly kept it trapped between my head and my hand.
Like always his touch sent my heart into a crazed race and my timpani vibrated, leaving me deaf. But still, I decided I wouldn’t let go of that hand, squeezing his long fingers as if that could stop him from noticing just how much I was shaking.
“I’m sorry.”
“When it’s my fault?” he asked and I smiled, more at ease as that crimson glow slowly diminished. “Tell me what happened.”
My smile disappeared immediately. As softly as his voice had sounded, that hadn’t been a request and I rapidly calculated all the possible consequences of telling him exactly what had happened that afternoon.
“I ... don’t really know for sure,” I answered, trying to gain some time, but, before his grave expression, I knew I had no other choice. “I got out from class earlier. She was sitting on this branch.” As I described it, I recalled that he, too, had been sitting like that the first time I’d seen him after the evocation. I watched him for a split second, trying to read his expression, but he seemed as indifferent as always, and so I went on. “I knew she was there even before I could see her. And, when I did see her, I guess I’ve never seen anything as beautiful as her. And yet, I felt exactly what I used to feel near you, with the difference I was sure she wanted me dead. Contrary to what I first thought, she didn’t find me by mistake. She was looking for me. Because, somehow, I’m on her way. I think she knows that you’re staying here because of me and she wanted to set you free.”
His hand trembled and I noticed he was struggling to keep it carefully motionless. The muscles of his jaw tensed with the effort of containing his rage.
“Her name is Telane,” he said firmly and I found myself kind of shocked as I understood he knew her personally. “It was after her and one of my Brothers that we left the last time.”
“She’s like you … a Shedim,” I pointed out and he nodded almost imperceptibly.
“Yes. She’s the strongest living female of our entire caste. And she is the prize that will belong to whomever wins this war. That’s why she was given the right to take part in it. As I heard it, Telane refuses to belong to a male weaker than her.”
“Then ... she wants to win?” I asked, trying to make my voice sound stronger.
“She may even want, but she certainly knows that that’s impossible. And attacking you was a fatal error!” With his last statement, the crimson glow came back to his eyes and, with my heart hammering against my chest and the air around me charged and crackling, I sat up all too quickly, which sent waves of pain through my entire body.
“I’m just a Human Being!” I reminded him, squeezing his hand with all my strength. “My life is frail and short. Dying now or in forty years doesn’t make all that much difference. Why must you step away from your path because of a stupid vengeance on something that didn’t even happen?” I asked, apprehensively, and his hand escaped from mine, leaving me with a terrible sense of emptiness. “If you must kill her, then kill her. But only because there was no other way. Because you’re at war. I don’t want you to do it for me!” He looked away and his expression seemed even more serious.
“I can’t do what you ask,” he replied coldly and I felt despair creep up on me. My presence, my existence had triggered something incontrollable and it was as if I was already losing him, as if he might disappear just like that, to never return.
“Nyx!” I called out to him, as if that single word had enough power to make him my prisoner and, without thinking, held his arm. My nails slid over his silky shirt, scratching him, and I looked for his eyes, too insecure to stay still. I watched as a small crease marked his forehead and, in the next instant, at a speed I couldn’t follow with my eyes, cold hands grabbed my shoulders, pushing me hard against the wall.
All I felt was the shock of my back against the hard cold surface, and the waves of pain that the movement sent throughout my entire body. I immediately made myself breathe, trying to keep his face in focus, feeling dizzy and queasy. I ignored the claws that were his fingers, completely covering my shoulders, and pressed my lips together to silence a painful groan.
“What the hell do you want from me!” he screamed at me, making me cringe before his fury. “And what difference does it make how I kill her? Can’t you see that there’s nothing else I can do? Because this should have never happened! Because I guaranteed that you’d be safe!” His anger and frustration made me shake. Refusing to admit that I couldn’t do it, I raised a hand and placed it on his face. The electric charge that crossed my palm made me sick to the stomach, but still I refused to move it. I responded to his sudden expression of disbelief with a smile, and parted my lips to give way to my thoughts.
“I just want you to act according to your own nature,” I murmured, “and small, insignificant feelings as
revenge are way below you.” His hands lost their strength, ending up releasing me. My arm too lost the necessary strength to keep that contact, and I took a deep breath. “Nyx. I’m here, aren’t I? The past is in the past, even it’s five minutes ago.” He lowered his head, looking suddenly too tired and I went on, not wanting to lose the small control I had gained over him. “If you go into battle the way you are now, because all you want is revenge, how will you be able to control yourself? You’ll end up hurting those you do not wish to hurt. Think about Lea.” I thought I saw him shudder. Just as I’d thought Lea’s life was too precious for him to even admit the possibility of putting him in danger like that.
“I know that ... very well.”
“And that’s why you’re still here,” I added and he took a deep breath, seeming calmer again.
“You need to rest,” he told me and I watched as he stood up, his movements ever so graceful, towering over me like a lean, imposing dark shadow.
“What about you?” I asked, knowing he was about to leave, and his gaze fell on mine, leaving me more reassured since that red glow was completely gone now.
“You don’t need to worry. I’m not going anywhere,” he told me, backing a step at a time and walking to the door.
“Nyx! Swear!” I demanded, unable to feel at ease, and he stopped for a moment.
“What for? It’s not like my word is worth anything.”
“But it does! It does to me!” I insisted and I watched as his hand went to the door handle.
“I swear,” he simply told me and left without turning back one single time.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I woke up the following day to the immediate realization that I would have to be even more careful with the way I moved than usual. I felt around my body, trying to ascertain the most critical areas, and came to the depressing conclusion that the effects of what had happened the day before would accompany me for the next few days.
I got dressed, wincing and groaning here and there, and the necessary time needed to effectively comb my hair was an absolute torture to my aching arms. I went downstairs, grabbing hold of the handrail with both my hands and stopped in the hallway when I heard voices coming from the kitchen.
“That’s why I told you we should leave! And she was crying, Izrail.” I heard Alexander’s voice and was immediately on the move. I hated the idea of him using me as a pretext to pressure Gabriel to leave!
I raised my head as I entered the kitchen, and managed a smile for good measure, absolutely determined to have things my own way.
“I’m fine, Alexander. Thank you for worrying,” I told him in what I hoped would sound like a threatening tone, and Lea jumped from his chair running towards me.
“Morning, Mari!” he greeted me as cheerfully as always and I noticed Gabriel’s tired expression, leaning against the far side of the wall in the back, his arms folded over his chest.
“Why are you up so early?” Alexander asked me, sounding honestly worried, but our points of disagreement made my voice sound dryer than normal.
“It’s morning, isn’t it?” I asked and smiled at Lea, who, under the disguise of his childish smile, was watching me ostensibly. “Morning, Lea.”
“How are you feeling?” he asked and I tussled his hair.
“I’m fine,” I repeated and took a deep breath before the doubtful expressions I received. Only Jonathan had remained indifferent, his opened eyes unable to see the world around him. “Please don’t tell me you’d rather I told you that I was about to die!” I joked and went to the fridge, masking a wince of pain brought on by the effort of opening it by sticking my head in the cold. “What do you want for breakfast?”
“Mari! We’re not joking! It’s not any Human who’s able to survive a Shedim attack. Any other would have certainly died!” Alexander insisted, which made me give up all hope of changing the subject. I allowed the door to close and turned to face him.
“I understand,” I stated in a more serious tone. “And then what? What do you want me to tell you?” He seemed annoyed at my answer and sat down, resting an elbow on the table and looking away.
“Since when does she have this bad temper?” he grumbled and Lea smiled, looking amused.
“It’s hardly a matter of bad temper, Alexander,” I insisted. “I do understand what you mean. I was in great danger. It’s a miracle that I’m alive. But then what?”
“So this wasn’t a lesson at all?” he asked, frowning, and, although I understood that part of his insistence in this was because he really worried about me, I still couldn’t agree.
“If by that you mean what I think you mean, then the answer is no.” He sighed and I turned towards Gabriel. “Did you find anything?”
“No, I’m sorry.” he replied and I went back to the fridge to grab a yogurt. Although I didn’t want them to notice it, the idea of that unworldly goddess walking around, looking for me, made me uneasy.
“I see. Well, since there’s no time left to make anything fancy, just pick whatever you like from the fridge,” I told them and put my empty yogurt cup in the garbage. “Alexander, will you take me to school?” I naturally asked and they were all dead silent for a moment, before they all started talking at the same time.
“School!”
“You can’t be serious!”
“It’s too dangerous, Mari!”
I rinsed the spoon I’d used and put it back to its place.
“Yes, school! Today is Wednesday and I cannot keep missing school like this!” I argued and Gabriel frowned obviously displeased.
“One day more, one day less, it won’t really make any difference,” he stated in that tone of his that didn’t admit any kind of disobedience. But that had been a decision I’d made, and I wasn’t about to give up on it that easily.
“Today, tomorrow ... how many days until you find her?” I asked. “How long will it take? You’ve been looking for her for two weeks now, and nothing! Apparently, she just comes and goes as she pleases. You can’t possibly want to keep me under house arrest until that happens.” But his expression became even scarier.
“If she hunted you once, she will hunt you again as soon as she learns you’ve survived. And next time we may not be this lucky!” Alexander stated with a measure of despair in his voice, and I smiled at him trying to reassure him.
“There won’t be a next time, right? Because now you already know that she’s looking for me, and you’ll be there to protect me,” I stated with all my conviction, but Lea seemed the only one happy with my declaration of unwavering trust. “Besides, you won’t have to look for her anymore. She’ll come to us.”
“You want to play bait?” Gabriel asked in his cold whisper and I faced his violet gaze knowing that, ultimately, the decision had to come from him.
“I want to end this once and for all, and this is the fastest and most effective way to do it. Besides, I trust you guys,” I added and he looked away.
“I don’t like it.”
“But you know I’m right,” I concluded and he was silent for a moment.
“Izrail! You can’t seriously be pondering an insanity like this!” Alexander voiced and I faced him wishing I could just tell him to shut up.
“I understand you’re worried and I’m thankful for that,” I told him and went on before he could argue. “But you’ll have to tie me up somewhere if you want to keep me at home. Above all, before you agree or not with my options, this is my life!” I declared and he averted his gaze, giving up on what he was about to say, annoyed at what he’d just heard. “And, since it belongs to me, I’m choosing to place it in your hands.” I added and his foul mood seemed to lighten a bit.
“If she does appear, we act immediately. I want everything over as soon as possible.” Gabriel commanded, emitting the authorization I’d been waiting for.
“How do you want to do it?” Alexander asked in a defeated tone, trying to pretend he didn’t care anyway, and I focused on his answer.
“The
usual.”
“Portals?”
“Yes. I think that will be the best way, since I can’t be there or she’ll never show up.”
“But, as soon as she realizes that Mari is alive, she’ll be suspicious,” Lea argued in that grown-up tone.
“I doubt she’ll be able to think that far,” Alexander said. “Even if she’s aware of the Contract between Mari and Izrail, the possibility of any other kind of connection will never cross her mind. She probably even thinks that she’s doing you a favor.” He turned to Gabriel, and I couldn’t avoid noticing how his white hands clenched into tight fists in his constant struggle for self-control.
“Still, I don’t understand,” Lea confessed, musing out loud. “If she wants to win the war so she doesn’t have to belong to anyone, why did she attack Mari instead of Master?”
“Telane is not that simple or linear,” Gabriel answered in his icy whisper. “I’m sure she has some kind of plan.”
“I agree. I’m sure she’s smart enough to know she’ll never have any chances to really win the war.”
I sighed and carefully stretched my aching body.
“If that’s all, let’s go. I don’t want to be late,” I said with a relaxed tone.
“Let’s go then,” Alexander grumbled as he stood up, still obviously against it, and, to my surprise, Jonathan reacted to his movement, quickly grabbing hold of his sleeve. It was the first time I saw him move since I got in the kitchen. Alexander gave him a gentle smile, hardly disguising the pain in his eyes, and placed a reassuring hand on the boy’s head.
“Don’t worry. I’ll call for you if needed,” he murmured softly and Jonathan released him without a word.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Mari, are you sure?”
“Of course. Nothing bad will happen,” I stated in my most convincing tone as I walked to school next to an annoyed Alexander. The morning wasn’t as cold as the day before, I noticed happily.
Blood of the Pure (Gaea) Page 56
