“No, you dragged him down with you. And what is he now? Nothing but an aberration like you! What was the use of breaking the Law? A broken thing will never be able to save anyone!” he declared and Alexander’s rage was so intense that it left me breathless.
Black feathers scattered all over the place and then he wasn’t standing there anymore. A thunderous sound echoed throughout the entire church, and my eyes anxiously flew all over the place, looking for him. I stopped breathing as I saw Alexander, leaning over Michael, his face a furious mask. And it took me some time to understand that Michael had been able to stop his attack, that he was smiling coldly, and that he was holding a sword much like Alexander’s.
Alexander swiftly jumped back, his legs flexing as if he were an animal, his head bending low as he faced his enemy, and Michael stood up, holding his sword that looked almost made of light, readying himself for the next attack.
I was unable to move as I watched Alexander’s face slowly changing, becoming ever more less like him, taking on the expression of the emotions commanding his actions. And I recalled what he’d told me about constantly fighting against certain parts of him, stopping them from emerging, so that he could remain who he was. My chest hurt as I realized that Michael had been wrong, that he wasn’t a fallen one, that he was still falling, losing himself piece by piece every time he allowed his dark emotions to take over him, like how it was happening right now. And I wished I could stop him, I wished I could run to hold him back, but my shaky legs just wouldn’t move and my throat was too dry to emit any sound. Alexander raised his bright sword that looked like a shadow when compared to Michael’s, and Michael smiled at him in a cold challenge, as if he were unable to fear him.
“Sigweardiel!” The young, clear voice that filled the air with that shout was like a blast of cold wind over a scorching desert, and everything was suddenly very quiet and silent, so much so that, for the first time, I could hear the rain falling outside.
Alexander slowly straightened his back and lowered his sword as if he’d received an irresistible command, and Jonathan stepped forward, his head high, passing by me without even acknowledging my presence.
Michael was also looking at him, his burning green eyes intimidating, although he seemed intrigued by the boy’s sudden interference, and Jonathan stopped just a few steps from him, facing him with absolute and unwavering determination.
“Sigweardiel is my Guardian!” he declared with such vehemence that Alexander shuddered. “I will not allow you to destroy him!”
“He is no Guardian,” Michael replied in a warmer, condescending tone, more like the Michael I knew, almost as if he felt sorry for the delusional boy looking up at him. “And you are not a Human Being. Or do you believe you are?”
Jonathan closed his hands into two tight fists, and I regretfully recalled how that was a painful subject for him. But, even so, he kept his head high, still facing him, and he was suddenly not a boy at all, certainly not a frail or vulnerable.
“I may not know what I am, but I know all too well what I’m not!” he admitted. “However, my Soul is still a Gaalgha’s Soul! And, as a Gaalgha, I will not allow you to destroy him!” He practically threatened Michael, who slightly tilted his head to a side, as if reflecting on what he’d said.
“With that curse on you, you’ll never be able to use your Soul’s power, even if you could make your feelings one, which I seriously doubt,” Michael concluded.
“You’re wrong about that,” Jonathan replied, apparently indifferent to what he’d said, when I knew all too well how those words had hurt him. “I may not survive, and I’ll probably shatter into pieces, but I guarantee you that I’ll be able to use it. And you! You’ll have destroyed a Gaalgha.”
Alexander took a step forward, his face a mask of pure terror. “Jonathan, please,” he mumbled pleadingly, but seemed unable to dissuade him.
I wrapped my arms around me and dug my nails into my own skin. I was the only one to blame for all this mess, and I would never forgive myself if something happened to either one of them. Anyway, I just couldn’t keep running away, pretending not to see the truth, allowing my usual escape pattern to cost me the life of someone I cared for.
“Enough,” I said in my almost inaudible voice, but still they all turned back to me. I took a deep breath, reinforcing my decision, and raised my head, “That’s enough,” I repeated and looked for the courage to speak my next words. “I need a moment with ... Michael ... alone, please,” I declared and, even without seeing it, I felt as Gabriel moved for the first time since they’d arrived and left, leaving me completely frozen inside.
Alexander seemed to notice it as well and immediately appeared by Jonathan’s side, leaving a rain of black feathers on his trail, and gently pulled him back, making him move, although Jonathan was still staring up at Michael with that dark threat in his eyes.
“Mari, are you sure..?” Alexander asked me as he stopped by my side and I looked up at him, making sure I was smiling when I did. He was worried for me, I could tell, but, above all relieved; his arm protectively across Jonathan’s chest, his face back to his normal self, and that was enough to make me absolutely certain that I was doing the right thing.
“Yes, thank you, and I’m sorry,” I added towards Jonathan and he finally looked away from Michael, looking like a fourteen-year-old boy again, almost embarrassed even.
“We’ll be close by,” Alexander said and I nodded.
Watching them go was even harder then I’d expected and I suddenly felt very much alone and abandoned.
Michael was still looking at me, his expression now bitter and hurt, again the Michael I knew, although his eyes kept glowing, and his blond hair looked like it was made of gold, shining under the light of the chandelier. He looked away, with what looked like regret, and seemed to struggle to find the right words.
“Mari …”
“Tell me!” I interrupted him, my voice rough and harsh, and he raised his head unable to understand me. “I want to hear it in your own words! From your mouth. In your voice.”
“I’m ... sorry,” he said. I shook my head in stubborn refusal and squeezed the shirt he’d rendered useless.
“The truth!”
“Mari ...”
“The truth, Michael!” I demanded, raising my voice, hurting my throat, and for an instant that hoarse sound filled the church.
Michael was silent for a long time, but then a sigh left his lips and, with it, his sword disappeared in a cloud of incandescent sparks that were gone even before they could reach the floor.
“The truth …” he repeated with a sorrowful tone and I waited for him to go on. “The truth is my name is … Aldaraian.” He hesitated, looking for a reaction, but I kept completely still. “Which, in the ancient tongue means Will of God. I am a Merifri, an angel, as you Humans, call us.” Hearing those words in his warm voice hurt much more than the rough way he’d treated me just moments ago. “Better yet, I’m an Iaidon, a Guardian. And, in this present time, I’m the Iaidon in charge of protecting the Gaalgha known, in the Human world, as … Mariane Mellis.”
My name sounded all wrong in his voice, hurting me, and even though I wished I could feel anger towards him or even disgust, the only thing I could feel was that deep, sharp pain that left me breathless. Images of him filled my mind, of his bright smile, of his warm gaze, of the moments we’d spent together when I’d thought he was only ... Michael. All false ... all lies ... all empty.
“You ... left me,” were the only words that escaped my lips and then he was there, right in front of me, startling me.
“Hush,” he whispered, trying to appease me, and I looked up at him, at his unnatural beauty, at how even his skin seemed to glow. “I had no other choice.” His pained voice made me look straight at his absurdly clear eyes.
“And you erased my memories ... of you?”
“I had to. You’d be in pain if I were to simply disappear,” he clarified, but his words didn’t make any sense to
me. “And I had to make sure you would move to a different town, too, or I would have had to manipulate the memories of everyone around you, everyone that knew you,” he added, softly.
“Move?” I repeated, still dumbfounded, still trying to make sense of all that happened, and he nodded. “The divorce? My father’s offer to go to the U.S.A.?” I asked, now in complete disbelief, and he nodded again. A sarcastic smile took over my lips. “This is ... ridiculous,” I mumbled almost to myself, feeling like a rag doll in the hands of stupidly strong and powerful beings. “You took my father from me, he took my mother ... Jonathan was right. You’re all the same!” I declared, resenting him deeply, and Michael frowned, that threatening expression returning to his face.
“Do not compare me to that thing!” he commanded rudely, but I faced him with my coldest expression.
“No? At least my mom came back to spend the holidays with me. And I’ll see her again soon. I haven’t seen my father at all for the last two years!” I accused him dryly and smiled again, the irony choking me. “I should hate you!” I declared and he seemed shocked by my words. “All this time, right beside me.”
“No! I swear! I swear that I didn’t know!” He hurriedly cut me off, and then looked slightly embarrassed. “Only today when I saw you on that park ... and you suddenly disappeared amongst all that light. It was as if my mind had been kept in darkness and suddenly someone had flicked the switch on, and there was light again! You have to understand, Mari!” He held me by my shoulders and I couldn’t help recoil from his touch. “I never wished for any of this to happen. I never even intended to let my presence be known to you. But your Soul was always too bright, and no matter how many barriers I put around you, that inferior scum would always find you!”
He spit out the words with hatred. “And, of course, I’d always protect you! But, for more than once, you knew that something was wrong, that you were somehow in danger, and you were so small. You started having nightmares, and you were always afraid, even to go to school. You would wake up at night, screaming in terror, and even your parents didn’t know what else to do. I feared your mind might break down under the pressure and so I thought that if you knew … if you knew that I was there, always by your side, always protecting you, that you wouldn’t feel so scared. And I was right.
“You suddenly stopped being afraid to go to school, and you had no more nightmares. And when you did, I would hold you in my arms and you would go quickly back to sleep. Everything was better. Your parents, too, seemed happier, less stressed, and I became a part of your life. Unavoidably, I loved you since the moment you were born, but loving a Gaalgha was no news to me. Even when I noticed my feelings slowly changing as you grew up, or when I became aware that your Soul didn’t attract only inferior Deiwos, but irresistibly attracted my Soul as well. Even then I never felt, not once, that I wouldn’t be able to fulfill my mission.”
I found myself unable to move, as if he’d cast some kind of Magic Spell to keep me in that place, and the suffering that transfigured his face left me hanging.
“I told myself that the proximity between us was normal, since we knew each other since you were a child,” he continued, “and I refused to see that I was the only one you really talked to, that it was to me you came running every time you had some news to share, that it was in me you confided your secrets. I allowed all boundaries to be crossed, one by one, under the excuse that I was your Guardian. I let you get close to me, get attached to me, because it made me feel good. I knew that I was the only one to blame for your poor social life, for your almost complete lack of friends and that that was wrong. Because you came to this world to live a Human life. But still I allowed this to be, happy that I was special for you, that no one could take my place.”
I felt his warm hand caress my face and my body responded the same way it had always responded, when he was still just Michael and I a silly girl in love with the school’s idol.
“Recklessly, I wished you could love me, and you did love me, and from that instant on everything was lost. I could no longer resist your warm embrace ... or your touch ... or your defiant smile ... Because while you were allowed to do all these things, for me there was a clear line I could not cross. And I was afraid, because if I did cross it I’d have to leave you forever, to leave you alone to fend for yourself, because at that point, the only thing that mattered was that I could remain by your side.
“And so I decided to erase my existence from your mind, and then erase my own memories so I wouldn’t be tempted to get close to you again. Your parents had been discussing the divorce for quite some time then, and I took that chance to make sure you’d move somewhere else, somewhere where you could start a new life. And then I made sure that, even while I slept, I could be close to you, so that I could protect you if you needed. I was too naïve,” he added with a sorrowful tone and his warm hand ran across my wet hair, gently straightening it around my face. “The barrier I placed around you was meant to wake me up the instant you were in danger, and it did work, twice. I woke up, defeated that inferior scum and, once my task was done, went back to sleep. But I only placed that one clause on it, to defend you from attacks coming from the outside. It never occurred to me that you’d be the one to break it, from the inside out, that you’d be the one to call one of them. And once the barrier was destroyed, its effect became null, and I didn’t wake up again.”
The absence of his voice seemed to break the spell that kept me motionless and I took a step back to avoid his touch.
I felt tired and confused, and clearly unable to process not even half of what he’d just told me. In my mind I could only see the Michael I knew; remember the pain in his voice when he’d told me about how he’d lost his memory, how no one had come forth to claim him. His bitter expression when he’d insisted he’d done something really wrong and how he wished his life could remain the way it was. And I was suddenly aware that all that was gone ... for me as much for him. I just couldn’t help thinking just how ridiculous all my inner battles had been, the same way I recalled what Alexander had told me about the irresistible attraction between Guardians and Gaalgha. And I finally heard Gabriel’s velvet voice, his warm breath caressing my skin, as he told me that there were still things that I didn’t know. ‘And when you do, remember that it was for your sake that I stopped now.’
I ran a cold, shaky hand over my face and took a deep breath, annoyed at the headache that insistently drummed in my head making it even harder to think clearly.
“Michael, I need time. I need to think about all this ... and right now, I’m too tired,” I confessed, suddenly not wanting anything else but my bed, but he gave a step towards me, grabbing my shoulders again, his expression almost exasperated, as if I’d completely failed to understand what he’d meant.
“I’m telling you I love you! That I’ve loved you since the day you were born!” he told me in one breath and his words exploded in my head.
“Stop! I don’t want to hear that!” I shouted over his voice, fighting to get free from him again, but he didn’t let go.
“Why? Didn’t you want the truth?”
“Everything but that! Let go of me!”
He held my right arm roughly, pulling the velvet ribbon that I kept around my wrist, and the ribbon broke, hurting my skin.
“Why? Because of this? Because of this damn Contract?” he shouted and I was suddenly quiet as I noticed that the small mark was still there, the relief that washed over me stealing the strength of my legs, making me tremble. “You have nothing to fear, Mari. It’s all right. I know you did it for me,” he told me, his voice soft again, even though his hand kept squeezing my arm. “But you know … this, none of this is valid. Because he could never promise to give you something that was already yours. All this time, he has been deceiving you!”
“No!” I practically growled, pulling my hand from his grip and holding my wrist against my chest, protectively. “You’re lying!”
Michael put a sorrowful expression
on his face. “I’m really sorry, but it will be all right. You won’t have to see him ever again. And since that Contract is invalid, I can easily erase that horrible mark from your skin, and you’ll be able to go back to your everyday life.”
“No!” I shouted again, and stepped back, as the world spun around me, dark walls closing down on me, making it hard to breathe. “No! I don’t want to! I don’t want to live without him!”
“Mariane!” His severe tone startled me, filling the air around us with that thundering sound, and still I raised my head to face him, to defend what little happiness I’d found.
“I am not the same anymore! I am not your Mariane anymore!”
“You are Gaalgha!!” he roared in his thunder-like voice and his skin glowed even more, his face a furious mask. “And Gaalgha have no business near despicable creatures like Deiwos!”
“That doesn’t mean anything to me! And this Contract ... this Contract too, even if it is invalid, I don’t care! I want to stay with him!” I declared without a shadow of a doubt, and the thunder that roared all around us made me dizzy.
The pain of going against something hard and cold sent needles throughout my entire body and I had to gasp for air. His warm hand surrounded my neck, immobilizing me like before, making me stand on the tips of my toes so I wouldn’t choke, and his face leaned over mine with a sorrowful expression of regret.
“I’m sorry, but I cannot allow that,” he whispered softly, his warm breath caressing my lips, and I clawed at his hand uselessly, fighting to take each breath. “I promise I won’t hurt you. I’ll just erase all your memories again and take you somewhere far where you’ll be able to start anew, and where you’ll live the Human life you were born to experience.”
Despair washed over me and warm tears slid down my face, tears that could never hurt him and that thus were easily ignored.
He placed his other hand on my forehead, and I clawed and scratched his face when his lips touched mine, stealing the little air I’d been able to manage.
Blood of the Pure (Gaea) Page 71
