The Count of Monte Cristo (The Wild and Wanton Edition)

by Monica Corwin

  “Ah, you see, Danglars,” said Caderousse, winking at his friend, “this is how it is; Fernand, whom you see here, is a good and brave Catalan, one of the best fishermen in Marseilles, and he is in love with a very fine girl, named Mercedes; but it appears, unfortunately, that the fine girl is in love with the mate of the Pharaon; and as the Pharaon arrived to-day — why, you understand!”

  “No; I do not understand,” said Danglars.

  “Poor Fernand has been dismissed,” continued Caderousse.

  “Well, and what then?” said Fernand, lifting up his head, and looking at Caderousse like a man who looks for someone on whom to vent his anger; “Mercedes is not accountable to any person, is she? Is she not free to love whomsoever she will?”

  “Oh, if you take it in that sense,” said Caderousse, “it is another thing. But I thought you were a Catalan, and they told me the Catalans were not men to allow themselves to be supplanted by a rival. It was even told me that Fernand, especially, was terrible in his vengeance.”

  Fernand smiled piteously. “A lover is never terrible,” he said.

  “Poor fellow!” remarked Danglars, affecting to pity the young man from the bottom of his heart. “Why, you see, he did not expect to see Dantes return so suddenly — he thought he was dead, perhaps; or perchance faithless! These things always come on us more severely when they come suddenly.”

  “Ah, ma foi, under any circumstances,” said Caderousse, who drank as he spoke, and on whom the fumes of the wine began to take effect, — “under any circumstances Fernand is not the only person put out by the fortunate arrival of Dantes; is he, Danglars?”

  “No, you are right — and I should say that would bring him ill-luck.”

  “Well, never mind,” answered Caderousse, pouring out a glass of wine for Fernand, and filling his own for the eighth or ninth time, while Danglars had merely sipped his. “Never mind — in the meantime he marries Mercedes — the lovely Mercedes — at least he returns to do that.”

  During this time Danglars fixed his piercing glance on the young man, on whose heart Caderousse’s words fell like molten lead.

  “And when is the wedding to be?” he asked.

  “Oh, it is not yet fixed!” murmured Fernand.

  “No, but it will be,” said Caderousse, “as surely as Dantes will be captain of the Pharaon — eh, Danglars?”

  Danglars shuddered at this unexpected attack, and turned to Caderousse, whose countenance he scrutinized, to try and detect whether the blow was premeditated; but he read nothing but envy in a countenance already rendered brutal and stupid by drunkenness.

  “Well,” said he, filling the glasses, “let us drink to Captain Edmond Dantes, husband of the beautiful Catalane!”

  Caderousse raised his glass to his mouth with unsteady hand, and swallowed the contents at a gulp. Fernand dashed his on the ground.

  “Eh, eh, eh!” stammered Caderousse. “What do I see down there by the wall, in the direction of the Catalans? Look, Fernand, your eyes are better than mine. I believe I see double. You know wine is a deceiver; but I should say it was two lovers walking side by side, and hand in hand. Heaven forgive me, they do not know that we can see them, and they are actually embracing!”

  Danglars did not lose one pang that Fernand endured.

  “Do you know them, Fernand?” he said.

  “Yes,” was the reply, in a low voice. “It is Edmond and Mercedes!”

  “Ah, see there, now!” said Caderousse; “and I did not recognize them! Hallo, Dantes! hello, lovely damsel! Come this way, and let us know when the wedding is to be, for Fernand here is so obstinate he will not tell us.”

  “Hold your tongue, will you?” said Danglars, pretending to restrain Caderousse, who, with the tenacity of drunkards, leaned out of the arbor. “Try to stand upright, and let the lovers make love without interruption. See, look at Fernand, and follow his example; he is well-behaved!”

  Fernand, probably excited beyond bearing, pricked by Danglars, as the bull is by the bandilleros, was about to rush out; for he had risen from his seat, and seemed to be collecting himself to dash headlong upon his rival, when Mercedes, smiling and graceful, lifted up her lovely head, and looked at them with her clear and bright eyes. At this Fernand recollected her threat of dying if Edmond died, and dropped again heavily on his seat. Danglars looked at the two men, one after the other, the one brutalized by liquor, the other overwhelmed with love.

  “I shall get nothing from these fools,” he muttered; “and I am very much afraid of being here between a drunkard and a coward. Here’s an envious fellow making himself boozy on wine when he ought to be nursing his wrath, and here is a fool who sees the woman he loves stolen from under his nose and takes on like a big baby. Yet this Catalan has eyes that glisten like those of the vengeful Spaniards, Sicilians, and Calabrians, and the other has fists big enough to crush an ox at one blow. Unquestionably, Edmond’s star is in the ascendant, and he will marry the splendid girl — he will be captain, too, and laugh at us all, unless” — a sinister smile passed over Danglars’ lips — “unless I take a hand in the affair,” he added.

  “Hallo!” continued Caderousse, half-rising, and with his fist on the table, “hallo, Edmond! Do you not see your friends, or are you too proud to speak to them?”

  “No, my dear fellow!” replied Dantes, “I am not proud, but I am happy, and happiness blinds, I think, more than pride.”

  “Ah, very well, that’s an explanation!” said Caderousse. “How do you do, Madame Dantes?”

  Mercedes curtsied gravely, and said — “That is not my name, and in my country it bodes ill fortune, they say, to call a young girl by the name of her betrothed before he becomes her husband. So call me Mercedes, if you please.”

  “We must excuse our worthy neighbor, Caderousse,” said Dantes, “he is so easily mistaken.”

  “So, then, the wedding is to take place immediately, M. Dantes,” said Danglars, bowing to the young couple.

  “As soon as possible, M. Danglars; to-day all preliminaries will be arranged at my father’s, and to-morrow, or next day at latest, the wedding festival here at La Reserve. My friends will be there, I hope; that is to say, you are invited, M. Danglars, and you, Caderousse.”

  “And Fernand,” said Caderousse with a chuckle; “Fernand, too, is invited!”

  “My wife’s brother is my brother,” said Edmond; “and we, Mercedes and I, should be very sorry if he were absent at such a time.”

  Fernand opened his mouth to reply, but his voice died on his lips, and he could not utter a word.

  “To-day the preliminaries, to-morrow or next day the ceremony! You are in a hurry, Captain!”

  “Danglars,” said Edmond, smiling, “I will say to you as Mercedes said just now to Caderousse, ‘Do not give me a title which does not belong to me’; that may bring me bad luck.”

  “Your pardon,” replied Danglars, “I merely said you seemed in a hurry, and we have lots of time; the Pharaon cannot be under weigh again in less than three months.”

  “We are always in a hurry to be happy, M. Danglars; for when we have suffered a long time, we have great difficulty in believing in good fortune. But it is not selfishness alone that makes me thus in haste; I must go to Paris.”

  “Ah, really? — to Paris! And will it be the first time you have ever been there, Dantes?”

  “Yes.”

  “Have you business there?”

  “Not of my own; the last commission of poor Captain Leclere; you know to what I allude, Danglars — it is sacred. Besides, I shall only take the time to go and return.”

  “Yes, yes, I understand,” said Danglars, and then in a low tone, he added, “To Paris, no doubt to deliver the letter which the grand marshal gave him. Ah, this letter gives me an idea — a capital idea! Ah; Dantes, my friend, you are not yet registered number one on board the good ship Pharaon;” then turning towards Edmond, who was walking away, “A pleasant journey,” he cried.

  “Thank you,” said Edm
ond with a friendly nod, and the two lovers continued on their way, as calm and joyous as if they were the very elect of heaven.

  Chapter 4. Conspiracy.

  Danglars followed Edmond and Mercedes with his eyes until the two lovers disappeared behind one of the angles of Fort Saint Nicolas, then turning round, he perceived Fernand, who had fallen, pale and trembling, into his chair, while Caderousse stammered out the words of a drinking-song.

  “Well, my dear sir,” said Danglars to Fernand, “here is a marriage which does not appear to make everybody happy.”

  “It drives me to despair,” said Fernand.

  “Do you, then, love Mercedes?”

  “I adore her!”

  “For long?”

  “As long as I have known her — always.”

  “And you sit there, tearing your hair, instead of seeking to remedy your condition; I did not think that was the way of your people.”

  “What would you have me do?” said Fernand.

  “How do I know? Is it my affair? I am not in love with Mademoiselle Mercedes; but for you — in the words of the gospel, seek, and you shall find.”

  “I have found already.”

  “What?”

  “I would stab the man, but the woman told me that if any misfortune happened to her betrothed, she would kill herself.”

  “Pooh! Women say those things, but never do them.”

  “You do not know Mercedes; what she threatens she will do.”

  “Idiot!” muttered Danglars; “whether she kill herself or not, what matter, provided Dantes is not captain?”

  “Before Mercedes should die,” replied Fernand, with the accents of unshaken resolution, “I would die myself!”

  “That’s what I call love!” said Caderousse with a voice more tipsy than ever. “That’s love, or I don’t know what love is.”

  “Come,” said Danglars, “you appear to me a good sort of fellow, and hang me, I should like to help you, but” —

  “Yes,” said Caderousse, “but how?”

  “My dear fellow,” replied Danglars, “you are three parts drunk; finish the bottle, and you will be completely so. Drink then, and do not meddle with what we are discussing, for that requires all one’s wit and cool judgment.”

  “I — drunk!” said Caderousse; “well that’s a good one! I could drink four more such bottles; they are no bigger than cologne flasks. Pere Pamphile, more wine!” and Caderousse rattled his glass upon the table.

  “You were saying, sir” — said Fernand, awaiting with great anxiety the end of this interrupted remark.

  “What was I saying? I forget. This drunken Caderousse has made me lose the thread of my sentence.”

  “Drunk, if you like; so much the worse for those who fear wine, for it is because they have bad thoughts which they are afraid the liquor will extract from their hearts;” and Caderousse began to sing the two last lines of a song very popular at the time, —

  ‘Tous les mechants sont beuveurs d’eau; C’est bien prouve par le deluge.’*

  (*“The wicked are great drinkers of water; As the flood proved once for all.”)

  “You said, sir, you would like to help me, but” —

  “Yes; but I added, to help you it would be sufficient that Dantes did not marry her you love; and the marriage may easily be thwarted, methinks, and yet Dantes need not die.”

  “Death alone can separate them,” remarked Fernand.

  “You talk like a noodle, my friend,” said Caderousse; “and here is Danglars, who is a wide-awake, clever, deep fellow, who will prove to you that you are wrong. Prove it, Danglars. I have answered for you. Say there is no need why Dantes should die; it would, indeed, be a pity he should. Dantes is a good fellow; I like Dantes. Dantes, your health.”

  Fernand rose impatiently. “Let him run on,” said Danglars, restraining the young man; “drunk as he is, he is not much out in what he says. Absence severs as well as death, and if the walls of a prison were between Edmond and Mercedes they would be as effectually separated as if he lay under a tombstone.”

  “Yes; but one gets out of prison,” said Caderousse, who, with what sense was left him, listened eagerly to the conversation, “and when one gets out and one’s name is Edmond Dantes, one seeks revenge” —

  “What matters that?” muttered Fernand.

  “And why, I should like to know,” persisted Caderousse, “should they put Dantes in prison? He has not robbed or killed or murdered.”

  “Hold your tongue!” said Danglars.

  “I won’t hold my tongue!” replied Caderousse; “I say I want to know why they should put Dantes in prison; I like Dantes; Dantes, your health!” and he swallowed another glass of wine.

  Danglars saw in the muddled look of the tailor the progress of his intoxication, and turning towards Fernand, said, “Well, you understand there is no need to kill him.”

  “Certainly not, if, as you said just now, you have the means of having Dantes arrested. Have you that means?”

  “It is to be found for the searching. But why should I meddle in the matter? It is no affair of mine.”

  “I know not why you meddle,” said Fernand, seizing his arm; “but this I know, you have some motive of personal hatred against Dantes, for he who himself hates is never mistaken in the sentiments of others.”

  “I! — motives of hatred against Dantes? None, on my word! I saw you were unhappy, and your unhappiness interested me; that’s all; but since you believe I act for my own account, adieu, my dear friend, get out of the affair as best you may;” and Danglars rose as if he meant to depart.

  “No, no,” said Fernand, restraining him, “stay! It is of very little consequence to me at the end of the matter whether you have any angry feeling or not against Dantes. I hate him! I confess it openly. Do you find the means, I will execute it, provided it is not to kill the man, for Mercedes has declared she will kill herself if Dantes is killed.”

  Caderousse, who had let his head drop on the table, now raised it, and looking at Fernand with his dull and fishy eyes, he said, — “Kill Dantes! Who talks of killing Dantes? I won’t have him killed — I won’t! He’s my friend, and this morning offered to share his money with me, as I shared mine with him. I won’t have Dantes killed — I won’t!”

  “And who has said a word about killing him, muddle head?” replied Danglars. “We were merely joking; drink to his health,” he added, filling Caderousse’s glass, “and do not interfere with us.”

  “Yes, yes, Dantes’ good health!” said Caderousse, emptying his glass, “here’s to his health! his health — hurrah!”

  “But the means — the means?” said Fernand.

  “Have you not hit upon any?” asked Danglars.

  “No! — you undertook to do so.”

  “True,” replied Danglars; “the French have the superiority over the Spaniards, that the Spaniards ruminate, while the French invent.”

  “Do you invent, then,” said Fernand impatiently.

  “Waiter,” said Danglars, “pen, ink, and paper.”

  “Pen, ink, and paper,” muttered Fernand.

  “Yes; I am a supercargo; pen, ink, and paper are my tools, and without my tools I am fit for nothing.”

  “Pen, ink, and paper, then,” called Fernand loudly.

  “There’s what you want on that table,” said the waiter.

  “Bring them here.” The waiter did as he was desired.

  “When one thinks,” said Caderousse, letting his hand drop on the paper, “there is here wherewithal to kill a man more sure than if we waited at the corner of a wood to assassinate him! I have always had more dread of a pen, a bottle of ink, and a sheet of paper, than of a sword or pistol.”

  “The fellow is not so drunk as he appears to be,” said Danglars. “Give him some more wine, Fernand.” Fernand filled Caderousse’s glass, who, like the confirmed toper he was, lifted his hand from the paper and seized the glass.

  The Catalan watched him until Caderousse, almost overcome by
this fresh assault on his senses, rested, or rather dropped, his glass upon the table.

  “Well!” resumed the Catalan, as he saw the final glimmer of Caderousse’s reason vanishing before the last glass of wine.

  “Well, then, I should say, for instance,” resumed Danglars, “that if after a voyage such as Dantes has just made, in which he touched at the Island of Elba, someone were to denounce him to the king’s procureur as a Bonapartist agent” —

  “I will denounce him!” exclaimed the young man hastily.

  “Yes, but they will make you then sign your declaration, and confront you with him you have denounced; I will supply you with the means of supporting your accusation, for I know the fact well. But Dantes cannot remain forever in prison, and one day or other he will leave it, and the day when he comes out, woe betide him who was the cause of his incarceration!”

  “Oh, I should wish nothing better than that he would come and seek a quarrel with me.”

  “Yes, and Mercedes! Mercedes, who will detest you if you have only the misfortune to scratch the skin of her dearly beloved Edmond!”

  “True!” said Fernand.

  “No, no,” continued Danglars; “if we resolve on such a step, it would be much better to take, as I now do, this pen, dip it into this ink, and write with the left hand (that the writing may not be recognized) the denunciation we propose.” And Danglars, uniting practice with theory, wrote with his left hand, and in a writing reversed from his usual style, and totally unlike it, the following lines, which he handed to Fernand, and which Fernand read in an undertone: —

  “The honorable, the king’s attorney, is informed by a friend of the throne and religion, that one Edmond Dantes, mate of the ship Pharaon, arrived this morning from Smyrna, after having touched at Naples and Porto-Ferrajo, has been entrusted by Murat with a letter for the usurper, and by the usurper with a letter for the Bonapartist committee in Paris. Proof of this crime will be found on arresting him, for the letter will be found upon him, or at his father’s, or in his cabin on board the Pharaon.”

  “Very good,” resumed Danglars; “now your revenge looks like common-sense, for in no way can it revert to yourself, and the matter will thus work its own way; there is nothing to do now but fold the letter as I am doing, and write upon it, ‘To the king’s attorney,’ and that’s all settled.” And Danglars wrote the address as he spoke.