Portraits

by Cynthia Freeman

  “I know, but nothing like he fell into. Anyway, we got a lot to catch up on. Congratulations, and I can’t wait to meet the little bride. See you at seven.” …

  Ben Schwartz and his fiancée, Elaine Halpern, arrived promptly at seven. Talk about Betty Boop, Doris thought. Elaine was five-feet-two with eyes of blue and was a perfect size-six. She was dressed in yellow strapless taffeta, with shoes to match.

  Then Jerry came in with his rich new wife, but any resemblance between Pamela Rose and her name was purely coincidental. She was unattractive in a way that made it impossible not to notice her. Her hair was a dull pitch-black, and her small eyes were outlined exotically. Her figure was another matter, however, and the black satin dress accented her curves and made one forget her lack of good looks. With her money, she didn’t have to worry about winning any popularity contests, which was a good thing. She wasn’t the most lovable person Doris had ever met. Condescending was the kindest thing she could think of to describe her.

  Pamela extended a diamond-bangled hand to Doris. “Congratulations,” she said through clenched teeth, enunciating the word in a way that branded her Vassar, or at least Wellesley.

  Davy Marks knocked on the door just then, calling out, “House detective, open up and get the broads out.” A real funster.

  Henry opened the door and planted an arm around Davy’s shoulder, they shook hands in the secret shake of the Phi Sig—with the pinkie finger and the index interlocked.

  “Davy, this is my wife, Doris. Did I say she was gorgeous?”

  “You sure did. Doris, you’re a doll…Congratulations. This is my wife, Ethel.” …

  Suddenly the room became crowded with an assortment of “brothers” and their spouses, and it all began to look like a Phi Sigma Delta reunion. They also all seemed stamped out of the same mold, and Doris couldn’t remember half the names. Henry was busy filling the glasses. There was a lot of laughing, and Henry received any number of pokes in the ribs…“Well, kiddo, how does it feel to be married?” A wink, another elbow in the rib…

  Doris went unnoticed into the bathroom and locked the door. This wasn’t a honeymoon, and just when she’d begun to think she might want Henry to herself she couldn’t have him.

  Henry knocked. “Honey?”

  She swallowed back the tears. “Yes?”

  “You okay?”

  “Terrific.”

  “Come on out, honey, everyone wants to go to dinner.”

  “I’ll be out…” She washed her face with a damp cloth, put some makeup on, refreshed her lipstick and took Henry’s arm as everyone walked down the hall to the elevator.

  They went off to the Cotton Club, a very posh place, they said. Doris sat at the long table, looking at everyone dancing in their beautiful gowns and felt like a reject from the Salvation Army. The girls had all but ignored her and their self-confidence intimidated her. Henry was so involved with Benjie, Davy, Jerry and whoever the rest were that she wondered if he remembered she was a bride of only four—no, five—days…

  That night, as Henry took her in his arms, he said, “Well, didn’t I tell you they were real people? I knew you’d love them, Doris…and everybody raved about you, honey.”

  When they’d arrived in Los Angeles last night, Doris had almost looked forward to their love-making and the tenderness of lying in his arms. Not so tonight. Tonight she was weary and disappointed and she added a new ploy to her growing sexual knowledge. “Henry, I really have a terrible headache tonight.”

  “Oh, do you, darling? I’m sorry, and I don’t even have an aspirin. Some doctor…well, just lay your head on my shoulder and rest, honey.” …

  The next day they took a tour bus to see where all the stars lived, and when they returned at five to freshen up Henry suggested having dinner at the Brown Derby.

  It was eight-thirty when they left the restaurant, the shank of the evening…“How about a walk down Wilshire Boulevard. The stores are beautiful, Doris.”

  “How about a movie, Henry?”

  “On a night like this? It’s so warm and balmy.”

  “You’re right, we’ll save the movies for cold winter nights—”

  He held her hand as they walked and walked and walked and…finally Doris saw a sign that must have been sent from heaven. Van Camp’s Confections and Bakery.

  “Henry, let’s have an ice cream soda?”

  “Sure, honey.”

  Once they were seated she changed her mind. She decided to order a pineapple milkshake. “Make that extra thick and don’t spare the whipped cream,” she said, looking up into the face of the guardian angel who had just saved her honeymoon.

  “Darling, do you think you should?”

  She looked at him. “You don’t fall in love with fat or thin, you fall in love with a person, Doris…” he’d once said. “Why not, Henry? Let’s live it up. This is going to be the only honeymoon I ever have, and I want to remember this night.” Sweetly.

  He took her hand across the table. “You’re right, sweetheart.”

  When she had almost finished her milkshake she finally had the courage to ask, “Henry, how would you like to go home tomorrow?” When she saw his face brighten she almost sighed with relief.

  “You know, I didn’t want to say anything because I wanted this to be your moment. But I would like to go back. The office has been closed for a week, and it’s about time we started our new life together.”

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Henry, why didn’t you talk up?”

  “I don’t know. As I said…”

  “You didn’t want to spoil it for me. That’s so sweet,” she said, and she meant it.

  They took the Wilshire bus back to the hotel.

  That night as Henry made love to her she was gratified that it was beginning to hurt less each time, but what especially helped was thinking of that delicious milkshake…

  CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

  THEY ARRIVED IN OAKLAND at nine the next evening.

  “My children have come home,” Sara greeted them at the door. The first thing she suggested was that they have something to eat. Mama was getting thinner, while Doris was getting fatter. But mama didn’t seem so concerned about that now that she was married.

  “Mama, dear, we ate on the way home.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want something after that long drive?”

  “No, really…”

  “Let me look at the two of you.” She sighed with naches. “You look like lovebirds. All right, go to your room, you must be tired. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Going up the stairs with Sara at her side, Doris asked, “Is papa still mad?”

  “No, he got over it. Now, darling, I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Doris went into her room with Henry and closed the door. As Henry began to undress, she suddenly felt embarrassed. They couldn’t do anything in her virginal bed, not with mama and papa down the hall and Lillian across the way. They’d simply have to find an apartment, and the sooner the better…

  Henry didn’t have office hours on Saturdays, so right after breakfast they crossed the Bay to San Francisco with Sara. Henry had a friend whose father owned an apartment house on Pacific Avenue and, fortunately, there was a one-bedroom apartment on the second floor. It had a livingroom, dinette and kitchen combination, a bedroom and bath. The rent was forty-two fifty a month, plus utilities.

  For the first time since meeting Henry, Sara was a little annoyed with him. “Don’t they have a two-bedroom, Henry?”

  “What do we need a two-bedroom for?”

  “Well, where would I sleep if I came to stay for a night?”

  Doris looked at him and became nervous.

  “I’m afraid I can’t afford more than this—”

  He, the doctor, couldn’t afford better? “Henry, I don’t like bringing this up, but we were under the impression you could support Doris a little better than this—”

  “I’m sorry if I gave you any false impressions, but I will support Doris in
the best way I can. I’ve only been in practice five years and it takes time. There’s a depression going on, and I’m not exactly Dr. Mayo—”

  “That wasn’t necessary, Henry. I was merely saying that Jacob and I thought you were doing very well.”

  “I’m sorry, but I’m struggling to pay off what I owe now.” Henry turned to Doris. “Do you like it, honey?”

  “Yes, Henry, I love it. I’m sorry, mama, that you don’t—really.”

  “Why should you be sorry? You’re the one who has to live in it. So I won’t come and stay.” Funny, Sara thought, two married daughters, and she couldn’t spend the night with either one. In Rachel’s case she knew she wasn’t welcome, but at least in Doris’ house she would have been. She had hoped to have a place to spend a few days when Jacob was away; it would have been a wonderful change and it would have eased the loneliness she often felt. Oh, well, it was just give, give, give. She’d bought the furniture for this place so the doctor could enjoy, but the second bedroom set would have to be returned…

  Doris did like the apartment. It was cheerful and the neighborhood was one of the best in Pacific Heights. She felt guilty mama was so unhappy with the apartment, but she was more than happy to settle for it. Poor Henry, it must be hard to establish a practice. There had been a glimmer in the back of her mind that Henry was making a good living, but her thoughts hadn’t gone much beyond that. Her great concern had been to escape home, and she’d done that…

  There was complete silence on the drive back to Oakland. When Henry parked the car in front of the house Sara got out of the back seat and walked sullenly to the front door, with Doris and Henry behind her.

  Maybe they should stay at a hotel tonight, Doris thought. When mama got through with papa there’d be all kinds of arguments. And to make matters worse, he was coming home from the country today.

  Sara was hanging her coat in the closet when Doris asked, “Mama, maybe it might be better if Henry and I stayed in a hotel until the furniture is delivered.”

  “Do you think Henry can afford it?”

  Doris bit her lip, and when she looked at Henry she saw the hurt in his eyes.

  “Look, Mrs. Sanders, I won’t accept that from anybody.”

  “Really? And what about the furniture and the car? You didn’t mind accepting those—”

  “The car? Well, I’d like to remind you that more than half of the car was paid for from what you got out of my car. Also, please remember I never asked for it or even wanted it—Doris, I’ll wait for you in the car.”

  Doris felt ill. No one spoke to mama like that except papa. Henry had no idea how much wrath he’d brought down on them. God, poor unsuspecting Henry. If only she had explained that mama’s personality was a country mile from what it had appeared during their courtship…

  “You heard the way he spoke to me?”

  “He didn’t mean it, mama…”

  “Take his part. Who am I? Only your mother. You’d better go to your wonderful husband.”

  Doris tried to kiss her mother but she turned her cheek.

  Doris was hysterical by the time she sat next to Henry in the car. He put his arms around her and held her close. “I’m sorry, Doris…sorry if your family thought you were marrying someone like Jim Ross, whom they don’t seem too fond of either. Anyway, I’m known as a struggling doctor. That’s all I am, but I’m not going to allow anyone to talk to me the way she did. I can’t get over it. You’d think she almost had a split personality…”

  “She’s just really a very high-strung person, she doesn’t mean half of what she says—”

  “Maybe, but how could anyone have been so sweet before our marriage and then say the things she did today?”

  “Believe me, Henry, she didn’t mean it—”

  “I think she did, Doris. And while we’re at it, let me say I can’t get over the way your father was so upset about our eloping. I never saw such anger.”

  “Can’t you understand how disappointed he was?”

  “Of course, but such hostility? You’ve got a very strange family, Doris.”

  As miserable and frightened as she was, somehow Henry had gained her respect. He wasn’t quite the pussycat she thought he’d be with mama. He hadn’t given an inch and she liked him for it…“What are we going to do about the apartment?”

  “What about it?”

  “Suppose my mother cancels the furniture?”

  “Then we’ll just have to take a furnished apartment for a while. In fact, I’d much rather not accept anything from them.”

  “Where are we going to stay tonight?”

  “At my mother’s. She may not be able to speak very good English, but she’s not in the business of hurting people.”

  When Doris called the next day, papa came right to the point. “I heard about what happened, Doris.”

  I don’t think so, papa. Mama didn’t tell you how she insulted Henry, only what Henry said to her…“I’m terribly sorry, papa, but there was a misunderstanding.”

  “That’s what you think insulting your mother is? A misunderstanding?”

  “Things just started to happen and before you knew it—”

  “Your husband walked out of the house.”

  “That’s not exactly what—”

  “Here, talk to your mother.”

  “Yes, Doris?”

  “Mama, I want to apologize for yesterday,” Doris said. Peace at any price…

  “Well, I’m not so sure I’m going to accept that.”

  “Henry’s sorry, too, and would like to speak to you.”

  Henry was sitting beside her on the bed, and he put his hand over the phone. “I’m not sorry, and don’t apologize for me.”

  “Please, Henry. Please…”

  If he didn’t love Doris so much he’d tell her mother and father to go to hell, but seeing her so upset was hurting him. Finally he took the phone. “I…I’m sorry about the unfortunate incident yesterday, Mrs. Sanders.”

  Sara was silent a moment, then answered, “Yes, a good many things have been rather unfortunate, Henry.”

  Looking at Doris’ pleading eyes he said, “That’s true…Since this is Sunday, Doris and I would like to come over and spend the day with you.”

  Doris kissed him, while Sara clamped her hand over the mouthpiece. “They want to come over this afternoon. What do you say, Jacob?”

  “Do what you want to.”

  “Well…all right, Henry, if you’d like.”

  Henry thought, anything to stop Doris from feeling so miserable. “Yes, we’d like that. Fine. We’ll see you then.” …

  When they arrived about two Sara and Jacob were cool, but as the day wore on Sara began to warm up now that she had a sympathetic audience for other grievances. As she prepared dinner she and Doris talked about Rachel—or rather, Doris sat listening to Sara’s recital. There was nothing new…she complained about Rachel’s extravagance, and that she’d given a party but hadn’t invited them. In fact, Sara reported, she hadn’t spoken to her snobby daughter in over a week, and she had no intention of giving Rachel the satisfaction of calling. On it went, with Doris nodding her head in sympathy. In fact, she did sympathize. Mama was hurt and angry, and although she’d brought it on herself, Doris still felt badly for her…

  At the end of a very tense day Doris and Henry finally went back to his mother’s. When they were in bed Doris said, “Mama told me the furniture will be delivered on Tuesday.”

  “I’m glad for your sake, but I’m going to ask you to do me a favor.”

  “Anything, dear…”

  “Please don’t apologize for me again. And don’t ask me to spend Sundays with your folks.”

  “Henry, try to understand. They don’t have anyone else—”

  “What about Nadine and Sandy?”

  “Mama doesn’t like Nadine. Besides, they’re used to having their children around.”

  “Well, children grow up, and have a life of their own—”

  “I know
. We won’t go every Sunday, but we do have to see them, Henry.”

  “As little as possible, I hope…”

  First thing the next morning, Doris checked in with mama. She told her what a wonderful day they’d had, thanked mama for being so nice to Henry. And would she please ask papa not to be so cold to her and Henry?

  Mama said she was happy Doris had called and, yes, she would speak to papa…

  When she hung up Doris sat on the edge of the bed wishing she could run off to an unknown island…unknown to all of them…and then she called Rachel.

  “I’m sorry I haven’t called since I came home, Rachel, but things have been so hectic—”

  “There’s nothing to forgive. You’re making a new life and it’s a tremendous adjustment.”

  “Thanks for your understanding, Rachel.”

  “Don’t be silly. What are you doing today?”

  “Nothing—”

  “Why don’t you come over?”

  “You mean it?”

  “What a question! Come for lunch.”

  “I really should skip it…”

  “I’ll have cottage cheese and fruit. You’ll be safe from temptation, I guarantee it.”

  “I can’t wait to see you and the baby.” …

  Doris sat in Rachel’s fine diningroom, eating her cottage cheese and pineapple off of Minton china. It was like being in another world, especially after yesterday. “It’s so lovely and peaceful here.”

  Rachel saw the look in Doris’ eyes. “What’s wrong, Doris?”

  “Oh, God, I don’t know where to begin…”

  “Well, since that goes back to the cradle, tell me what’s, new?”

  “It’s not new, Rachel, just a continuation of the same very old story. It’s mama. She and Henry had their first confrontation and the poor guy was really unprepared for her.” It was a painful memory, but Doris told her the story of the apartment and the storm that had followed with papa. “She still scares the hell out of me, Rachel, and so does papa…”

  “Well, let me tell you, Doris, the time to start is now. You’re married and you’re going to have to learn to break the cord.”

  “Funny, you saying that, Rachel. A little over a year ago when Larry was born I said that to you and remember what you told me?”