Feral (A Real Man, 7)

by Jenika Snow

  Of course I wasn’t a stranger to hunting and what went with it, but still, witnessing it all, the cuts, the skin peeling back, all of it was unsettling.

  I turned from it and scanned the cabin. It seemed bigger in the daylight, and for the first time I noticed a small loft above. Curious, I went over to the ladder that was pushed off to the side and climbed it. My head didn’t hurt too bad this morning, and I knew I’d have to face the fact that he’d probably kick me out.

  This isn’t your home, though, no matter how much you want to be with Dillon.

  When I reached the top, I was surprised to see it was a reading nook. Several small bookshelves were positioned around a long chair that sat in the center of the floor. The legs look liked they’d been cut from the chair, making it flush with the ground. Then again, the roof was an A-shape design, and for a man like Dillon, who was exceptionally tall, he’d still have to crouch while up here.

  I didn’t want to be nosy, but the fact that this man spent his time reading up here alone did something to my heart.

  I heard a ruckus outside and climbed back down. When I was in front of the window again, I saw Dillon shutting the doors to the shed. Blood covered his light-colored shirt, but before I could think about anything else, he was removing it.

  God.

  He rolled the shirt up into a ball, and with the clean side he ran the material over his face. It was cold outside, and I could see his breath fanning out in front of him, but I also saw sweat lining his forehead and chest. My heart thundered, and I felt it in my throat. He was all raw muscle, powerful, dangerous. I felt every feminine cell in my body come alive. He called to my basic urges, my need to just let go of every preconceived notion of what was going to happen and how I wanted it to go.

  I should have turned and not gawked, but I was a slave to the sight of him He walked around the side of the shed and disappeared. I turned and rested my back against the wall right by the window. A choice needed to be made. I’d either push away any notion of what I wanted with him, or come clean before it was too late. Figuring that out sooner rather than later was for the best.

  5

  Dillon

  I’d seen her watching me as I took care of the deer, and felt her gaze on me when I’d taken off the filthy shirt and wiped myself down. I fucking loved that she stared at me, and hoped like hell it got a reaction out of her.

  There was a lot I’d do today concerning her. Lexi would know I wanted her as mine before the day was over with. And if she thought she’d just walk out of here … she’d find out soon enough I wouldn’t let her go without a fight.

  I stepped out of the small building I’d erected for the shower. The cabin itself was void of electricity, and although through the years I could have easily rigged it so I could use the generator for more than the freezer, I preferred this simple way of living.

  The shower was fed from a cistern and heated by a manual fire I didn’t light more times than not.

  I dried off, grabbed the change of clothes I kept in the shower shed, and headed back to the cabin. My body was revved up, thoughts on what I wanted to do with Lexi and what I wanted to say to her running through me a mile a minute.

  Hell, I should have just kept my bloody clothes on so she could see the outside version of that darkness I held in me. It would have been more honest than cleaning up, like I was attempting to wash away the grisly reality of the person I was.

  She’d either be down for what I wanted, or I’d scare the fuck out of her.

  Either way I’d find out.

  I stepped into the cabin and saw her looking through the cupboards in the kitchen. I shut the door, the sound of being enclosed making an audible click, like a snicker of the situation that was about to go down.

  She turned and stared at me, her eyes wide, her nerves right on the surface. I glanced at the table: a large bowl, spoon, flour, sugar, and a few other items littered the top.

  “What are you doing?” I asked curiously.

  She started rubbing her hands down her pants. “I figured I’d keep myself busy and make you something to eat. It’s the least I can do to say thanks for helping me.” She looked at the items on the table. “I mean, using your shit and all.” She chuckled nervously, and when she realized I hadn’t moved or said anything, I saw her nerves jack up a degree.

  “I’m not hungry.” Not for food at least.

  I’m hungry for you, though.

  “Oh,” she said and looked uncomfortable.

  Despite the fact that I’d never cared about what anyone said, nor how they felt—especially if I was the one who made them feel awkward—I wanted Lexi to know she was different. “Thank you though. That was a nice gesture.” My voice was hard, gruff. In this moment it took a lot of fucking control not to just claim her right here and now. But, I wasn’t some sick fuck. She’d hurt her head and needed to rest.

  Showing emotion was never something I was good at. “Did you eat the granola and fruit I set out for you?” I stepped farther into the cabin. I wanted her to get her strength up.

  She’ll need all the strength she can get for what I have planned.

  It was just that one thought that broke through my carefully placed control. My cock jerked behind my jeans, and I willed the fucker to stay down.

  I watched her as she went over to the table and started picking things up, presumably to put them away.

  “Leave them,” I said, harder than I’d intended. She instantly froze, then took a step back. My cock jerked again at the fact that she obeyed so well.

  I moved closer, stalking her, my focus solely on the way she reacted to me right now. I saw the beat of her pulse under her ear. It was rapid, frantic. I saw the way she breathed harder, faster. I looked down to see her twisting her fingers together, her nervousness tangible.

  “You killed a deer this morning?” she asked, her voice shaking slightly.

  I was pretty sure there was nothing but arousal coming from her. It was the way she looked at me, and she wasn’t very good at hiding her emotions.

  Her facial expression spoke volumes, and I fucking loved it.

  “Yes. I left you sleeping early this morning. I needed the meat to store for winter.” It was cold as fuck out, and it would only get worse with each passing day. This type of living didn’t have me stocking my freezer with prepackaged meat.

  I went out and killed for it.

  I moved a step closer. I’d left her sleeping in my bed while I went out, but truth was I’d wanted nothing more than to slip in beside her, remove her clothing, and spread her legs before plunging my cock into her tight heat.

  Giving up my bed and sleeping on the couch was a hardship only because I wanted beside her so damn badly.

  I want in her.

  Fuck, I was harder than granite, and when I saw Lexi look down at my crotch, I knew there was no trying to hide that I wanted her.

  I don’t want to hide it, because right now she’s going to know exactly what I desire.

  “There are some things that need to be said,” I told her, moving another step closer.

  She nodded and licked her lips, and I stared at the pink plumpness of her mouth. Filthy images slammed into my mind: her lips wrapped around my dick, her jaw wide to take the length and girth.

  Shit, I could practically feel the tip of my shaft hitting the back of her throat as I face fucked her. I’d own every part of her. I’d claim her cunt, make her ass mine. I’d come on her belly and watch as she rubbed it in, marking herself with my spunk, smelling like me.

  “And when I tell you these things, you’re going to have to make up your mind on what you want to do.” I clenched my hands at my sides, the desire to just go up to her, strip her of her clothes, and lift her up and over my shoulder, riding me hard.

  I visualized my hand going down on her ass, making the mound shake and turn red. My handprint would stay on her flesh as I fucked her, but she’d like that. She’d want more of it.

  “Okay,” she finally said, whis
pering the word.

  Yeah, once I finally told her everything, admitted who I was and what I wanted, we’d see exactly how far she was willing to go.

  6

  Lexi

  I stared at Dillon. He looked especially fierce right now, like a wild animal was trapped within him, desperate to get out.

  It seemed like long moments before he finally spoke again.

  “I don’t want you to leave.”

  My heart thundered harder at his words. He didn’t want me to go. Good, because I didn’t want to.

  “But I need you to know about me, about my past and the type of man I am.”

  The way he said that made it sound so ominous.

  I nodded slowly. I assumed he was referring to the rumors I’d heard, or maybe what had gone down with his brother. “We all have demons in our closet.”

  He was silent for so long I felt this weird sensation move through me.

  “I’ve killed people, Lexi.”

  I assumed as much. He was a Marine, after all. “Being in the military and fighting for your life surely didn’t give you a lot of options.”

  “And you think that makes it okay?” He lifted a dark brow, his face still void of emotion.

  “No, but it’s a fact of life, and it doesn’t make you a monster.” I didn’t even know if this was where the conversation was going. “I’m sure you didn’t have a choice,” I said again.

  He stopped advancing and stared at me. For long seconds he didn’t speak, and I wondered if he was trying to come up with reasoning on why what he had to do made him the devil.

  “Everyone has a choice,” was all he said in reply. “I left my brother alone. He had a history of substance abuse, depression. I shouldn’t have left. It’s because of me he overdosed. It’s because of me he’s gone.” His voice was thick, and I heard emotion in it. He tried to mask it, to appear strong—and he was—but right now I could see him … the real him.

  “If you’re trying to vilify yourself to me, it’s not going to work.” I stared him right in the eyes. “I’ve seen you come into that grocery store every month, keep your head down, and ignore the whispering and comments about you.” I moved closer to him.

  “Why did you really come out here? Why did you leave the safety of others, of your home, and come after a man that for all you know wanted to hurt you?”

  I felt my eyebrows going down, my confusion and worry filling every part of me that he’d actually think that.

  “I’ve seen the look of sorrow in your eyes, pain, that expression of emptiness that you try so hard to hide.” I shook my head. “You can’t hide it from someone who feels it too.” I was only a few feet from him now, and the scent of his cologne—or maybe it was just his natural, woodsy aroma—slammed into me. “I came out here because I wanted to be around someone who gets it, who’s like me.” I hesitated for just a second, but then said fuck my caution. I lifted my hand and placed it right over his heart. “You lost the only family you had left. I know how that feels.”

  He placed his hand over mine.

  “People can make their own choices. I did by coming out here. And your brother did as well.” I didn’t want to open a wound that was obviously not healed, but I wanted him to see I didn’t look at him like some kind of monster. “You didn’t kill your brother. You wanted to live your life. We all do.” He flexed his hand over mine, and I felt my heart jump. I really hoped I wasn’t crossing any lines or thinking I knew anything more than I did. I just wanted Dillon to see that the world keeps going, even if we are stuck at the bottom.

  He leaned in close, his face only an inch from mine now. “I am a monster, but you only want to see the good in me.” He let go of my hand, and I retreated. The darkness he held like a second skin was back in place. “I’ll always be this way, Lexi. I’ll always need to be alone, to keep away from people unless absolutely necessary.” He took a step closer to me, and I moved one back. “I’ll never change.” The way he looked at me was heated, dangerous. “And as much as I want to just let everything go, to let your sweet, positive words sink in, I can’t.”

  I was breathing harder.

  “But I will say this.” He moved even closer, and I found myself stepping back, unable to stop myself. “I know what I want, and that’s you.”

  Dillon

  I stepped closer to her, watching as she retreated. She was afraid of me, afraid of everything I’d told her. She saw the darkness in me. I felt it, sensed it from her like she was this wounded, frightened creature lost in the woods.

  It made me harder.

  “You fear me,” I stated bluntly.

  “No,” she whispered.

  But I could see it in her eyes. It wasn’t the kind of fear that had her thinking I’d hurt her. No, it was the kind that she produced because she was afraid of how she felt in this moment … what she wanted with me.

  I was a hunter, a feral man living out in the fucking middle of nowhere because I preferred being on my own to being around others. I tracked, hunted, and killed for my meals. I could see the signs on her body as easily as I could feel my heart beating in my chest right now.

  She stopped with her hands pressed to the wall behind her, and I watched as she held her breath. It was subtle, just an inhalation … then no exhalation. She held it for a few seconds as she stared at me; then she slowly breathed out. I lowered my gaze to her throat, saw her pulse beating hard, fast.

  She was nervous but aroused.

  I bet her pussy was wet for me. I bet if I touched her, she’d give in to me just like that.

  I kept my focus on her. I didn’t want to miss the slightest emotion flickering across her face. Her lips were slightly parted, and I could hear her increased breathing. I was a foot from her, the sweet scent of her like nothing I’d ever smelled. My cock was so fucking hard, like a damned steel pipe behind my jeans.

  “I don’t want you to be afraid of me, even though you should.”

  “I’m not afraid of you.”

  I heard the truth in her voice, but still, she was so much better than me. She was sweet and kind and hadn’t seen the disgust of the world like I had.

  She’s lost like me, and has known pain and loneliness, too.

  “What do you want?” I asked slowly, my voice low. “Tell me what you want.” I needed to hear her admit she wanted this, that she wanted me. Because right now I was lost in my desire for her. I was gone from the need to have her in every way, to make her feel good.

  I was aching to hear those words spill from her lips, like a vocal surrender before I claimed her body.

  But she didn’t answer me right away. It was equal disappointment and arousal. The fact that she was resisting, trying to be strong, turned me on. But I was also a man who wanted what only she could give.

  I stepped closer, my chest right up against hers, so that if I inhaled deeply it would brush along hers. I lowered my gaze, watched as her chest rose and fell fast, her breathing increased, her emotions raw. I was good at picking out the little things, the subtle changes in someone. Maybe it was my training in the military, or maybe it was just this woman who made everything in me more heightened?

  Either way I’d get what I wanted from her, not because I’d force it out of her, but because I’d make her realize that what she needed from me, I was freely giving.

  She had yet to answer me.

  “Resisting what I want only turns me on, Lexi.” I lifted my gaze and stared at her face. Fuck, her pupils were so dilated. I knew she was ready for me, her body primed to take what only I could give. The sound she made was a little bit of shock and pleasure. I heard it as well as if I had made it myself.

  I lowered my hand, slid my fingers along the shirt she wore and stopped when I got to the hem. For a second I just left the digits there and stared into her eyes. The anticipation and excitement of what I was about to do raced through my veins. I was amped up, needing this so damn badly I could taste it.

  I curled my fingers under the hem of the shirt and sl
owly started to lift it up.

  “So, tell me what you want and it’s yours,” I said on a groan.

  “I want you. God,” she finally said, the word nothing more than a breath of air from her parted lips.

  I leaned in close so my mouth was right by hers. “No, not God, baby. Say my name.” I went for the button of her pants, and because I was feral right now I had them undone and pushed down her thighs a second later. She made this noise that turned me on even more. “Take them off,” I ordered, and I was pleased she obeyed instantly.

  I had her shirt pushed up once more, and slipped my fingers lower until I felt the edge of her panties. I started to descend again, my fingers skimming her bare skin. I felt her flesh start to pucker from my touch, and the realization that she was so receptive to me pleased me to no end. “Say my name, Lexi,” I commanded, staring right into her eyes.

  “Dillon,” she whispered.

  I couldn’t stop myself from groaning. Fuck, hearing her say my name did all kinds of things to me, had all sorts of filthy images slamming into my head.

  “I’ve…”

  I stared into her eyes, wanting her to tell me everything. I wanted her to divulge her deepest needs and wants.

  I want to be the one who makes them her reality.

  “Tell me,” I demanded.

  “I want this.”

  Yeah, she fucking did.

  “But I’ve never done this before.”

  I clenched my jaw, a deep sound of pleasure leaving me.

  “I’ve never been with a man.”

  She was a virgin, and I’d be the one to claim her cherry. I’d be the only one to know how her pussy felt, how tight and hot she really was. She might not know it yet, but Lexi was mine. She’d always be mine.

  I couldn’t stop myself from what I did next. I didn’t even want to try.