“I doubt you have anything to worry about on that score,” he said, which got a little smile, even as he thought about how much he’d kept from his parents when he was younger. That undoubtedly there’d be times her girls would rather put their eyes out rather than share with their mother. But best not to go there. Instead, he veered onto a side road with, “Did you know my mother helped take care of yours, after she got sick?”
Val shook her head. “Natalie and I...well. We didn’t have a whole lot to say to each other at that point.”
“Did you even know?”
“No. And, yes, that’s the truth.”
“Did you think I wouldn’t believe you?”
Her mouth thinned. “No matter what our relationship was—or wasn’t—we were all each other had at that point. I can only imagine what some people must’ve thought, that I wasn’t here to take care of her.”
“And those people can go screw themselves,” he said, and she almost laughed. “If she didn’t tell you, I think that lets you off the hook. And seriously—according to my mother, yours was a bitch on wheels. Sorry—”
“No, sounds about right. There was a reason—several, actually—I stayed as far out of her radar as...” She yawned. “As possible. She knew about Josie, but...”
“The kid didn’t need to be around that. And you were right to protect her.” He hesitated. “Not to mention yourself. Her needs were met, as well as she’d let anybody meet them. And while God knows I may not have figured out much about life yet, I do know one thing—we’re not responsible for anybody else’s screwups. Our own, yeah. But not anyone else’s. Damn, Val...”
He shoved his hands in his pockets again, not quite believing what he was about to say. But knowing he’d explode if he didn’t. “You know the thing I most remember about you, from when we were kids?” Eyes glued to his, she shook her head. “Your dignity. The way you’d hold up your head high when you had to know the other kids were talking about you. Even though you were obviously going through a hell that nobody else had a clue about. Not really. But damned if you were going to let anybody else see it. Or let it poison you. And you could have, you know. And the way you cared about other people, even then...” He swallowed as he felt heat blaze across his face. Thank God it was dark. “There’s a reason Tommy fell as hard as he did. Because you...you were something else. You still are.”
Val stared at him for several seconds, which did nothing to help the blazing-face thing, then slowly smiled. “Holy crap, Levi,” she said softly. “I...” She glanced away, pushing out a small laugh, before facing him again. “Wow...” Another yawn attacked, this one epic. She covered her mouth, then gripped the rope again. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Why do you have to say anything? It’s true. But I think it’s time we get you home before you fall off that swing.”
She yawned again, then pushed out a tired laugh. “You might have a point.”
A point she proved long before they got back to Whispering Pines, when, despite the coffee, she conked out in the car. She didn’t exactly wake up when they reached her house, either, although she came to enough to murmur, “Where are we?” when he opened the passenger-side door. From inside, Radar went into overdrive, baying his fool head off.
“Your house.”
Her eyes drifted shut again. “Not my house.”
Levi reached inside, scooped her into his arms. She didn’t protest. In fact, she looped her arms around his neck and snuggled right against his chest, and he thought, Oh, hell. “But that’s definitely your dog.”
Her head wagged again, her hair tickling his chin. “Not my dog, either,” she mumbled. “Tommy’s.”
Beginning to see a pattern here, Levi carted her up the porch steps. She weighed, like, nothing. Behind the door, the dog went crazy. “How about the cat?”
“Josie’s.”
“Well, hell, woman...” He shifted to dig the keys out of her purse, unlock the door. “What is yours?”
“These,” she said, lifting one foot. But not her head. “Boots are allll mine.”
Chuckling over the sting to his heart, he carted her inside, kneeing aside the frantic dog before carrying her upstairs to her room. She was sawing logs again before he’d even lowered her to the bed. Carefully, he removed the boots, then dislodged a very miffed kitten to tug a fluffy throw off the chair, which he gently tucked around Val’s delicate shoulders.
Then he stood back, half smiling as Skunk hopped up to curl into the space in front of her stomach and the dog climbed up to smash himself against her back, and he thought, Me.
I could be yours.
Right. As if he’d ever in a million years be able to compete with the guy she’d just said she’d love forever, for having the cojones to do what Levi hadn’t. Besides, all Tomas had wanted was for Levi to make sure she was okay. He sincerely doubted falling for the woman had been part of his best friend’s plan.
Then again...
Levi leaned over to place a soft kiss on Val’s even softer cheek, then straightened, his hands in his pockets. A smile flickered across her lips, not unlike Risa’s when she was dreaming, and Levi’s heart started hammering in his chest. Because there was no getting around it—for the first time in his life, he was in love.
As in, drowning.
So maybe it was time he find those cojones, setting aside his loyalty to a dead man for a shot at something far bigger. Maybe, just maybe, this was his chance to be everything to Val, to her girls, he couldn’t have been before. Yes, it had to be her choice to move forward or not. But how could she make that choice if he didn’t give her the option? And if the odds were stacked against him...tough. Wouldn’t be the first time.
However, it was the first time that defying those odds made him feel as if he’d gotten hold of some bad booze. Hell, laying his life on the line was nothing compared with the prospect of offering his heart.
A floorboard squawked as Levi tiptoed out of the room, imagining his brothers laughing their fool heads off.
Chapter Ten
The sun was blasting through the open window when Val woke with a start the next morning, dry-mouthed and fuzzy-brained. To make matters worse, that fuzzy brain had way too much information to process at once, including, but not limited to, (1) she was still fully dressed; (2) her daughters were giggling like mad downstairs; and (3) since she could hear Levi as well, she was guessing he was the cause of the giggling.
Great.
She kneed the kitten aside—bad move, ouch—to peel off the throw so she could get to the bathroom before her bladder exploded, at which point a quick glance in the mottled mirror over the 1980s-era sink made her remember why she rarely wore makeup. Because raccoon eyes were not her friends. Also, if she was going to look—and feel—like a prime candidate for the walk of shame, shouldn’t she at least have something to be ashamed of?
Something close to a chuckle burped from her chest. Oh, the irony.
Then it hit her, everything Levi had said, about...back then. About her being dignified and all that—a thought that brought a smile, considering at the moment she was about as dignified as roadkill. Add to that the look in his eyes, intense and searing and mad as hell, for her sake. The feel of him, holding her when they danced, when he carried her into the house, warm and solid and protective and, heaven help her, alive.
So alive.
Because, no, she hadn’t been that drunk. Or sleepy.
Blood surged to her face, bringing her hand to her red-hot cheeks. Because only once before, had a man said or done anything to make her feel...special. Worthy.
As if she mattered.
And that man—the second one, not the first—was downstairs, right this very minute, making her children laugh. Also pancakes, if her nose was to be believed.
Val squeezed shut her hairy eyes. Granted, not hating him—anymore—was a good thing. As was forgiving him. Or rather, realizing she had nothing to forgive him for. But liking him...?
Being attracted
to him...?
“Mama?”
Still leaning on the cultured marble sink—because she wasn’t entirely sure she wouldn’t fall over if she didn’t—Val smiled in the mirror for her oldest child, all perky and adorable and grinning.
“Good morning, cutie,” she said, and said child scurried over to wrap her arms around Val’s waist. And then frown at her.
“You look funny. Are you sick?”
The thought crossed Val’s feeble mind that this would be a great opportunity for an object lesson on the consequences of alcohol overindulgence. Except adolescence would come soon enough; why knock herself off the pedestal a minute before the kid would, anyway?
So all she said was, “I’m fine, sweetie. Just slept too hard is all.” As in, like the dead, but let’s not go there.
“Why are you still dressed?” Josie said, because there was exactly where a seven-year-old was going to go.
“I was too tired to undress.” And somehow she left the question mark off the end of that sentence.
“Oh. Okay. Anyway... Levi’s making pancakes.”
“So I gathered.” Wait. “When did Grandma drop you off?”
“A little while ago. Levi was already here. He said he spent the night.”
“To Grandma?”
“Uh-huh. She got a real weird look on her face. And then she smiled. Like this.” Josie demonstrated, giving Val the eeriest sensation of what her baby girl would look like in fifty years. And again, she was swamped with the unfairness of it all, that now her mother-in-law was probably thinking...
Sweet baby Jesus.
“So are you coming downstairs?”
“Not looking like this, I’m not. Give me ten minutes, okay?”
“Okay.” Josie started to scamper away—honestly, the kid never walked if she could run, skip or hop—only to turn back around and say, “Levi makes really, really good pancakes.”
Of course he did.
As promised, ten minutes later, showered and clothed and more or less in her right mind, Val ventured downstairs—carefully—where the dog rushed her, a blur of canine joy, only to rush back to Him Who Had the Food. Josie was at the kitchen table, prattling away about...something, while this big, sweet, handsome man held her baby against his hip as if he’d been doing this for years, giving Risa a step-by-step tutorial on how to flip pancakes as the kid gnawed on her own, happily getting soggy, crummy slobber all over Levi’s shoulder.
Things were less bizarre when she was drunk.
“Mama’s here!” Josie cried, and Risa clapped her gooey hands. Levi looked over, grinning, and for a second Val thought how easy it would be to buy into whatever Levi was selling. Although since he probably had no idea what that was, or that he was even selling it, she’d best be keeping her slightly hungover wits about her.
Especially since loneliness and grief—fading, yes, but by no means done with—blended with chronic disappointment made for really crappy soil to grow anything in. At least, anything that wasn’t bound to eventually shrivel up and die.
“Mornin’, Cinderella.” Val grimaced, and he chuckled, and her hungover hormones got all shivery. “Coffee’s on. Kids are fed. Would’ve made bacon but there wasn’t any. And what’s up with that?”
“Take it up with the food fairy,” Val muttered, then gawked at the piled-high plate on the stove. “Exactly how many of those do you expect me to eat?”
“Figured you’d be hungry after last night,” he said, not even trying to keep the innuendo out of his voice, and she was sorely tempted to grab the spatula from his hand and beat him over the head with it. However, having neither the energy to carry through nor the wherewithal to explain to Miss Big Eyes, she settled for sitting at the table and letting Levi wait on her.
Josie jumped up to run outside, taking the reluctant dog with her, and Levi lowered the babbling baby into her high chair.
“You have to strap her in—”
“Got it.”
“And make sure her fingers are out of the way before you snap on the tray—” He shot her a Seriously? look, and she pressed her lips together.
“Okay, I’ll shut up now.”
“You do that,” he said, handing the baby another pancake before setting a humongous plate of the same in front of Val, along with syrup and butter. And coffee, bless him. And damned if her eyes didn’t go all stingy.
“What?” he said, sliding into the seat across from her.
Shaking her head, she smeared soft butter between each layer, then drowned the pancakes in syrup before the butter had fully melted, making little yellow islands in a glistening, gooey amber sea. The weird thing was, it wasn’t as if nobody had ever made breakfast for her. Connie had, all the time, when she and the girls had lived with her and Pete. But before then, that honor had fallen to Tommy, initially when they were first married, then when he’d be home on leave. Because after everything she’d been through, he’d said, she deserved to be pampered.
But there was no need to mention that now. Really. Because maybe there was such a thing as being too honest. Levi needed to be appreciated for his own sake and his own deeds. Not because he reminded her of Tommy.
And certainly not because she was feeling especially...needy. Did she dream he’d kissed her on the cheek last night? Or had that really happened?
So she skirted his concern entirely by asking, “Why on earth did you stay?”
Chewing around a huge bite of pancakes, he shrugged. “Didn’t like the idea of you being alone in the house at night.”
“Never mind that I always am.” He shrugged again, and she sighed. “You do realize that Connie probably jumped to all manner of conclusions.”
“Since I was still sacked out on the sofa when she arrived, maybe not so much.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh. So no worries, sweet cheeks, your virtue is still untarnished.”
She threw her coffee spoon at him. Risa squealed, delighted, clapping her hands as a chuckling Levi easily caught the spoon before handing it to the baby, then leaned over to touch his forehead to hers. Tears sprang to Val’s eyes; she quickly blinked them away, chuckling when the baby lifted the spoon, triumphant.
“Bah?”
“Bah,” Levi said, straightening. Grinning her evil baby grin, Risa curled in on herself, her prize clutched to her chest, and Levi laughed. Val smiled.
“You’re really good with her. With both of them.”
Straightening, he gave her an almost sheepish smile as the baby gleefully banged the spoon on her high chair tray. “I know. Surprised the heck out of me, too.”
She took a bite of pancakes. They were freaking perfect. “You ever think about having kids of your own?”
“Before a few weeks ago?” Something bloomed in his eyes. Something she didn’t want to think about too hard. “No.”
Val lifted her coffee mug to her mouth, hoping her cheeks didn’t look as red as they felt. “I’m so sorry you had to sleep on the sofa, it really sucks—”
“Considering I didn’t exactly spend the last six years on a Sleep Number bed, I was good. You going into work today?”
“Yeah,” she said, glancing at the kitchen clock. “Soon, actually. Since I couldn’t bake yesterday, I have to go in early to get some pies done for the lunch rush. Which means I need to get the kids back to Connie’s—”
“No worries, I’ve got ’em.”
She blinked at him. “What? Why?”
“Why not?” He polished off his breakfast, stood to clear their plates.
“Because what do you know about taking care of a baby?”
He pointed to the obviously happy infant currently auditioning for lead drummer in a rock band, then carried the dishes to the sink. “You don’t think I can handle it?”
“I...” She frowned. “Can you?”
“Yes,” he said over the running water as he washed the dishes. “And if things get too crazy, I can always call Connie. She said,” he said when Val opened her mouth to protest.
>
“Why?” she repeated, and Levi looked out the kitchen window for a long moment before turning back to her. And while she couldn’t have defined what she saw in his eyes if her life depended on it, whatever it was reached right inside her and wrapped around her heart. And squeezed. Hard.
“Even if Tommy hadn’t asked me to look out for you and the girls,” he said, “I’d like to believe I would’ve, anyway. And now that I’m here...” He smiled down at the sticky-faced baby shrieking at the kitten who’d come into the kitchen, before meeting Val’s gaze again. “I owe this much to him, to be whatever you all need me to be in your lives.” His gaze touched hers. “And I do mean whatever you need me to be.”
And what if I don’t want you to do that?
The thought sliced through her like a samurai blade. Which it undoubtedly would have Levi, too, if she’d had it in her to give voice to it. But she was hardly going to slap the man’s kindness in the face, was she? He meant well; she knew that. And it wasn’t as if she wasn’t grateful, because she was. Heart-achingly so. That didn’t mean she wasn’t also scared out of her gourd of losing everything she’d fought so hard for over the last little while, to trust her own decisions about what was best for her and the girls. Because if it was one thing she’d learned, it was that the only person she could truly count on was herself.
But now was not the time to lay all that out there, both because she needed to get her butt to work and because she’d put out her own eye before hurting Levi. So all she did was smile and say, “And I appreciate that. I really do,” even as the hollowness of her own words made her inwardly wince. She got up from the table, scouring her hands down the backside of her jeans. “Lord, I didn’t realize how late it was.”
She jumped when Levi laid a hand on her shoulder, his touch so warm, so steady, searing through the thin fabric of her blouse. “Hey. I didn’t mean to upset you—”
“You didn’t—”
“And you’re a lousy liar,” he said, and her face flamed. And not only about being caught out. Because those hormones had sobered right up, boy, reminding her of that which she sorely missed. Including, apparently, her sanity.
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