Loving the Broken Man (The Cowboys of Katydid Farm Book 3)

by Sam E. Kraemer

  "How'd you finally get…what'd you do to figure out your shit? What was your biggest worry?" Dan asked.

  He saw Jon close his eyes and take a drag off the Cuban between his thumb and index finger. He opened his eyes and sat up, flipping the ash into the large ashtray on the table. "At first, I thought it was what I perceived were Mickey's shortcomings…he and I would have nothing in common because he'd never finished high school, and he had a very different upbringing, but as time went by, I couldn't keep him out of my head, and eventually, I figured it out. I was afraid he wouldn't have anything in common with me. I'd been so damned caught up in myself and the things I thought were important, I didn't consider what he might want from me in a relationship.

  "Once I really thought about it and how much I really wanted to get to know him better, I was able to open my heart to the possibility there might be someone out there who was perfect for me. The more I got to know about Mick and the more I introduced him to the world in which I lived, the more he took me into his. It seems so natural now, us living here on the farm, but in the beginning, I couldn't see how it would work. My parents were a help, but it was Mickey who gave up the things he loved at the time…the people at the Katydid and the Circle C…to come here to be with us. Living here at the farm was a compromise in the beginning, but looking back, I would never have it any other way," Jon explained.

  The discussion gave Danny a lot to think about. Mickey was a pretty persuasive guy, which Danny wasn't, and Jase…well, the kid seemed a little lost. Dan wasn't sure what to do with him…or about him…but he knew he had fallen in love with the young man in just the short, few hours he'd spent with him. What to do about it? He wasn't certain, but it was definitely something to consider.

  "WATCH ME! WATCH ME, UNCLE DANNY!" Kayley called from inside the pool where Jase had been working with her to jump off the side at the deep end where he would catch her. It was six-feet deep, and he knew Jase had been working with both girls to learn to swim. He'd confessed to being on a few swim teams over the years and he'd taken swim lessons on and off when he was a kid. His last summer job was as a lifeguard at the community pool on base in Fort Bliss the summer between his junior and senior years of high school.

  "I'm watchin', Sweet Pea," Dan told her as she jumped up in the air and tucked her legs into her body, doing a cannonball which Jase quickly pulled her out of. When she came up, he moved her hair out of her face and praised her very much, bringing that glowing smile to her little face Danny loved to see. He hated the thought of the two of them leaving the next day to return to Holloway because he hated the idea of leaving Jase behind.

  "Good job," Dan praised as he walked over to the pool and slipped into the water, leaving Jon and Mickey at the table.

  "ME NOW! WATCH DADDY AND POPPY!" Megan called. Dan took Kayley as Jase lined up to catch Megan, only letting her dip into the water a little before he brought her up. Dan could tell he wasn't sure about her abilities, but it seemed Jase had determined he'd give her the same treatment he gave Kayley. He needed to reassure Jase the little girl might have a few difficulties, like the new glasses she wore when she wasn't in the pool, but she wasn't fragile.

  "Great job, Little One," Mickey praised as he and Jon slipped into the pool to join the contingent.

  They let the girls continue to jump from the side, taking turns catching, until they were all tired. "Let's put them in a chaise under the umbrella. They can nap and we can continue to be outside. It's too nice to go inside," Mickey suggested, so they placed the girls on a double lounger and covered them with a towel as they positioned a large umbrella above them to combat the sun.

  It was a hot day, but there were fans around the pool helping to dissipate the heat. As Dan and Jase sat inside the pool on the built-in bench watching the baseball game on the television on the deck, Dan slipped a little closer to the younger man. He definitely had to think about him as a man and not a kid before he creeped himself out.

  Finally, he took a deep breath and put his arm around Jase's back along the side of the pool, not touching, but opening up space between them. "So, you'll call me and e-mail me?" Dan reminded in a quiet voice.

  He felt the Jase bristle a little before he scooted closer so their legs touched under the water. "You really want me to? It thought maybe that was guilt talking," Jase replied.

  Dan chuckled. "Not hardly. If I didn't want to get to know you, I'd have dropped you off and turned the truck and trailer around after I found out Josie was fine.

  "Look, Jase, I'll be honest. We didn't really get off to the best start, but that's because you just caught me off-guard through no fault of your own. I fucked it up, but I don't want to be the guy who was an ass, so maybe we give each other another chance? You and me get to know each other, and I'll come here as often as I can get a weekend off. Kayley would love to come here on a regular basis because she loves Meggie, and they get along very well. What do you say?" Dan asked as he moved his arm closer around Jase's shoulders, touching his right arm as they both pretended to watch the game.

  When Jase settled into his embrace, Danny's heart sped like a hummingbird's. The feel of his skin against Jase's flesh was remarkable. It was warm and soft, and he wanted to pull the younger man into a kiss, but it wasn't right…yet. The day would come when it would be right if Danny played his cards right, but not in that moment.

  Dinner consisted of Chinese from a place in Dillwyn Jon and Mickey loved. Dan hadn't ever had Chinese, so he let Jase pick for him and Kayley, and when the food arrived, Jon and Mickey carried in three bags.

  "That seems like a lot of food," Dan teased as he and Jase pulled out plates and flatware from where Mickey directed.

  "You gotta try a little bit of everything to see what you like," Mickey explained as he started opening containers.

  Mick explained the dishes as they set them in the center of the table. He and Jase began filling plates for Megan and Kayley just as the front door opened. Terry came bustling inside with a big smile on his face as he rubbed his large hands together. Danny noted, 'The kid's gonna be huge.'

  "I thought I smelled 'China Grove'. You get my favorite?" he asked Jon and Mickey.

  Mickey turned to the center island and handed him a large container with a smile. "Kung Pao Shrimp with chili sauce. Don't come knockin' on our door for Tums, Terry. You do this to yourself every time," Mickey chided with a smile.

  "Aw, now Pop, you love me or you wouldn't order it." Everyone laughed at the boy's comment and made room for him at the table. The chatter was lively, and Dan found he actually liked the food. He'd only ventured out with sweet and sour chicken, but Jase had offered a taste of his beef and broccoli, and Dan liked it as well. Chinese was a new thing he'd add to his list of likes.

  He watched Kayley devouring some fried rice, and he knew they had a hit on their hands. Everyone traded food around so they each got a taste of everything. The only thing Dan didn't like was some sort of duck thing Jon had ordered. It came with green onions, a heavy sauce, and little pancake things. Mickey made one for him, and Dan tasted it, but it wasn't to his liking. He passed it off to Jase, who ate it happily.

  After food and clean-up, Terry excused himself to go upstairs to finish an essay for his English final. He was a freshman, and from what Dan had heard, he was doing quite well in school.

  The rest of the group went to the family room to watch a movie the girls had chosen, "Fox and the Hound." Before they got through the first ten minutes, two little beauties were curled up together, sleeping soundly.

  "Let's take them up. It's only eight. You guys want to go back to the pool? I'll let Terry know we're outside in case the girls wake up," Mickey suggested.

  It was then Danny had an idea. "Uh, how about I go help Jase unpack his stuff and you guys go ahead and swim? I wanna make sure he's settled."

  When he got no negative reactions from anyone, Danny helped them get the girls upstairs and dressed for bed. Mick told him to lock the door when he came inside, and they pa
rted ways. Dan, still dressed in swim trunks and a t-shirt, followed Jase up to his little apartment, not quite sure why he'd made the suggestion or what the fuck he thought would happen.

  They were both in the bedroom, and Jase was unpacking his duffel. Dan could tell he was uneasy, and he felt the nerves himself. Finally, his brain went into the negative space he tried to stay out of as much as possible. "You're too young for me. You're eighteen and I'm twenty-seven. I've got a…well, you can see the damn scars on my leg. I have a mother who's dyin' and I have Kayley. I can't imagine what I'd have to offer…"

  Jase walked over to him and placed a finger on his lips before he gently kneeled down to trace his finger along the rough scar Danny's leg from his knee to his ankle. Dan was surprised he was so forward, but he could see a look of determination on the younger man's face. "Let's just take one thing at a time, okay?"

  He then stood to lean forward and brush his full, soft lips against Danny's, nearly sending the older man to his knees. Danny Johnson had been kissed before, but never as sweetly as Jase had kissed him. It sent his mind to wandering, and it was hard to rein himself in. He wanted to take the young man to bed, but that was out of the question.

  When Jase swept his hot tongue over Dan's lips, he didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around the kid's waist and pull him closer as those long arms went around his shoulders in a tender embrace. Their tongues swirled and tangled together, bringing soft moans from each of them. Dan knew he'd never really felt anything so jolting in all of his gay years. He had no idea what the kid…what Jase was feeling, but he hoped it was as life altering as Dan felt it at that moment.

  The two men began grinding together before Danny pulled away and looked up into those clear, bright blue eyes, smiling. "I think we better stop before we make a mess. Let's get you unpacked," he ordered.

  They went to the duffel and backpack and began unpacking the Jase's clothes. Dan could see he'd need more things, but he'd keep his mouth shut because he knew the boy didn't have money, and Dan really didn't have any to spare. Hell, he was down to three pairs of jeans himself. The kid needed a pair of work boots aside from the muck boots he'd brought along, so Dan decided he'd mention it to Mickey when Jase wasn't around to save the brunette any embarrassment.

  After they moved the furniture around a little bit, Dan decided he was pretty tired and it was time to end the night. His prick was so hard it could break granite, and he needed time alone.

  What he wanted was to sleep with the younger man…in his bed…to get the relief he desired so much, but it just wasn't right. They needed time to get to know each other, and the distance would be good for both of them, Dan was sure.

  "G-night," Dan offered as he gently kissed Jase before he walked down the stairs of the carriage house.

  "Thanks, Danny," he heard behind him. He didn't look back or he'd never leave. It made his heart ache.

  "You got everything, Sweet Pea?" Danny asked as he helped Kayley gather her things on Sunday evening. They'd spent as much time at Wonderland as they could. They needed to get home to get ready for Monday morning because Dan had to work at the ranch and Kayley had day camp, which was a new event to change their usual routine.

  She'd spent time with Jeri Simmons while Dan worked the first week of the summer, and afternoons the next week because she went to vacation Bible school at the little Methodist church in town. He'd drop her off in the morning and Miss Jeri would pick her up before lunch and spend time with her the rest of the afternoon while he was working at the Circle C.

  He definitely owed the woman for helping him out, but she refused to accept money when he'd offered, telling him it was a "delight to get to spend time with a little girl. I'm surrounded by men and boys all the time." He planned to figure out something special he and Kayley could do for Miss Jeri before the summer was over.

  The day camp Kayley was ready to attend was a little expensive, but it had a lot of activities (kids' cooking, swimming, trips to Richmond to see a play, plus lots of classes given by guest artisans), and he knew Kayley was looking forward to it. Brittany, a friend from Mrs. Philips' daycare, was going to the same place so he knew Kayley would acclimate easily.

  "I'm ready," she told him as she walked out with her hair in another crooked ponytail. He'd definitely need to learn how to do something with her long hair because the adorable little girl wanted so much to have her hair fixed like her friends…her friends who had mothers who seemed to specialize in elaborate braids and hair 'dos. It plucked at Danny's heartstrings he had no ability to do the same.

  He doubted Kayley would agree to cut it to make his life easier, but in reality, he couldn't imagine her without the blond waves like her mother had when she was younger, any more than he could imagine himself bald.

  As they walked down the stairs, Dan saw Megan, Terry, Mick, and Jon waiting for them in the family room. "You guys got everything?" Mickey asked with a smile.

  They stopped and Dan looked around. "Where's Jase?" he asked, not caring what they took away from his question.

  He noticed Mickey look at Jon and smile. "He had a question for you before you left. He's at the barn," Jon told him with a bright smile as he held Mickey's hand.

  "Go ahead. We'll get Kayley settled in the truck. Tell Matt and Tim I'll send reports about Josie. She'll be fine, I promise," Mickey told him with a nod.

  Meggie walked over to Kayley and reached out to hug her. "I'll miss you," the little girl with the curly brown hair stated.

  Dan watched as Kayley pushed it back off her face. "I'll get Uncle Danny to take me to Miss Katie's house and I'll ask her to show me how to braid, I promise. She has long hair, and I've seen her braid it. I'll make Uncle Danny let me call you, okay?" the child asked.

  Meggie hugged her and smiled when she pulled away, straightening her glasses. "You'll be back soon. I heard my daddy say so." She pulled away before Terry stepped forward to hug Kayley.

  "Go," Mickey pushed Danny toward the back door.

  Dan nodded and left their bags on the floor before he went out the back door, pulling on his boots. He went to the barn to find Jase brushing a mare he'd tied to a ring in the hallway. "You wanted to talk to me?"

  "This is Rosie. She's a jumper, and Mrs. Wells is coming out one of the next few weekends to show me what that means. She's very gentle, and I plan to learn everything I can about horses," Jase told him as he placed the brush into a small toolbox affixed to the side of a stall.

  Jase then turned to walk over to where Dan stood in the hallway. As Dan opened his mouth to speak, the younger man sealed a soft kiss to his lips. He pulled away with a smile, leaving Dan completely stunned. "Look, I know you don't want to care about me, but I think you already like me…like, like me, so I have one request.

  "You have to worry about Kayley, so give me a month before you come back. Let me start learning things here so maybe I can come back to Holloway and…hell, Danny, I don't know what else to say. I know you're worried about me being so young, so let me grow up a little, but don't leave me behind, okay? You have my phone number and my e-mail address. I can't guarantee how often I'd be able to get back to you, but I'd like to try," Jase told him.

  Danny wanted the same thing, so he reached for Jase and pulled him into his arms. He gently kissed him and pulled away. "You got it. Whatever you want," Dan told him honestly.

  "Come say goodbye to Kayley. She's already as attached to you as me," Dan confessed.

  Jase wrapped his long arm around Danny's shoulder as the two of them walked out of the barn together, breaking apart as they approached the truck and empty trailer.

  Dan watched Jase pick up Kayley and hug her. "You behave yourself, Sweet Pea. See if you can get Dan to send me some of the pictures you make at camp. I need the stuff to hang in my apartment," Jase told her. Kayley smiled and wiggled to get down, not one who liked to be carried. Jase helped her into her booster and secured the seatbelt around her before he kissed her cheek.

  Dan walked over to Mickey and hugg
ed him. "Take care of him," he whispered.

  Mickey nodded before Dan pulled away to shake Jon's hand. "I'll call you this week regarding the issue we discussed. Be safe getting home," Jon told him.

  With a deep breath, Dan walked over to the truck and climbed in without looking back. He felt as if his heart was going to seize up and stop beating, but when he looked into the left mirror, he saw Jase standing by himself, waving. Dan rolled down the window and waved back before they turned onto the blacktop, leaving Wonderland Farm behind…but hopefully, not for too long.

  He'd committed to keeping in touch with Jason Langston, and he meant it with all his heart. The boy…young man…meant a lot to him, so he'd live up to his word. It wouldn't be easy to be away from Jase, he was sure, but not much had been easy in Dan's life and it hadn't stopped him yet.

  Chapter Ten

  Jase was busy in the office of the barn with Mickey, who was showing him how to find his way around the farm management program Tim Moran had written for Wonderland. The premise for updating the system was easy to figure out. Where to get the information that needed to be tracked was a little more complicated.

  "So, you weigh everything you give to the horses, why?" Jase asked.

  "It's supposed to help Ham and Ally at tax time, plus it gives them an accurate accounting of the expenses here at the farm so when they decide to sell one of the horses, they know what they spent over the course of the time it was here. It helps them decide on the price, plus each record has all of the horses' pedigrees attached in another file which makes it easy to call up all of the information with a few keystrokes," Mickey explained.

  Jase noticed Mickey didn't look too damn convinced of the software's value, but since Ally Wells owned the place and had paid Tim Moran a lot of money to set it up, Jase would do as he was told and maintain the records.