Loving the Broken Man (The Cowboys of Katydid Farm Book 3)

by Sam E. Kraemer

  Chapter Eleven

  A ringing phone at two o'clock in the morning is no one's friend. "'Lo?" Dan answered.

  "Dan, it's Peggy Moss at Sunrise. Dorothy…we went to check on her because she wasn't feeling well at dinner time. When the aid went into the room, Dorothy was already gone. I'm so sorry we didn't call you when she said she didn't feel well, but after you and Kayley left this afternoon, she was in great spirits. We had no idea…" he heard his mother's nurse explain to him and then he heard a sniff.

  "It's okay, Mrs. Moss. We had a great visit today, and I'd rather remember Momma with the smile on her face. Do I need to do anything?" he asked, not sure what the hell to do next.

  "We'll call Curtis Funeral Home…I'm assuming that's where you'll want her sent, is that right, Dan?" she asked. Peggy was a very nice lady, and she'd been good to his mother. If anyone had to break the news, he was glad it was her because she was so kind.

  "Yessum. That's where Momma woulda wanted to go. I'll call 'em in the mornin' to set up a time to come about the arrangements. I need to call Zach and get him home. I guess…her stuff there at the home? There are pictures and stuff I'd like to have," he explained, feeling even more lost than when he got out of the Army.

  He was definitely ill-prepared to lose his mother. She'd been the rock in his life, and with her gone, he felt he was alone. It reminded him of the little blonde girl asleep in the other bedroom. How the hell would he explain it to Kayley?

  After he finished the phone call, he went to the kitchen, taking a seat at the table with a pad and pen to make a list of the things he needed to do. He vaguely remembered when his father had passed and all of the arrangements his mother had to make in a very short period of time, it seemed.

  He knew she didn't have a Will because, as she'd told him, she didn't have anything to give anyone. She had a bank account with fifteen-thousand-dollars left from his father's life insurance policy the hospitals and nursing home hadn't touched yet. It was the money she'd earmarked for her funeral and the headstone for her and his father's graves, and it made his stomach turn when he thought about having to go to the bank to get the money.

  He knew sleep was futile, so he decided to make a pot of coffee. He’d started for the phone but changed his mind and determined he’d wait a few hours to call his brother because he still needed to process the news himself. It was hard enough when Denise had died and his mother had to hold the family together by herself. Without her, Dan didn't know what he'd do. He thought about the visit he and Kayley had with her that day, and he smiled at the memory he'd cherish as long as he lived.

  "Flowers, Uncle Danny," Kayley demanded as they drove through town. "Flowers by Felipe" was on the right side of the road, so Dan pulled into the parking lot, looking forward to seeing Phil and his partner, Javier. They'd moved from Arizona to Virginia to be closer to Javier's family in North Carolina…but not too close.

  Danny had an instant crush on Phil when he met him the first time until he learned the man had a husband for all intents and purposes, and then the three became good friends. They helped him get over the heartbreak from Sean O'Dowd, and they'd even helped him come to terms with his feelings for Jase Langston when the three got together for dinner several times.

  There were fifteen years between the two of them, and when Dan told them about the nine years between him and Jase, they laughed, telling him not to be stupid. After they outlined some of the obstacles they'd overcome to be together…Phil losing his leg on a mission when he was in the Navy as a Seal, and then the two men overcoming the stigma of being gay Latinos who fell in love…they gave Danny a lot of hope for his own future.

  "Yeah, we can stop to see Phil and Javie. Remember, don't ask for things, Sweet Pea. They'll spoil you enough without askin'," Danny joked. Kayley had the habit of walking out of the flower shop with an armload of flowers if Dan didn't rein her in because Javie would open the case and let her pick what she wanted to take home until Dan shut her down.

  They went into the shop and Kayley picked out a small bouquet of gerbera daisies because Dorothy had told her the multi-color flowers were her favorites one time, and after a brief conversation with his friends, Danny and Kayley left to go to the nursing home.

  Dottie, as she liked to be called, was in a wheelchair sitting out on the back porch of the place under the awning because she wanted fresh air. When Dan and Kayley found her, Dan noticed it appeared she had more color on her cheeks and she was smiling.

  "Oh, my darlin’ girl, lemme see ya," she greeted Kayley as the girl walked over to where her grandmother was sitting. She handed Dottie the flowers and climbed up on the bench next to the wheelchair, adjusting her shirt and ever-present, crooked ponytail.

  Dottie laughed as she looked at Danny. "You've gotta find someone to teach you how to fix this child's hair, Daniel. She's goin' to school in the fall," his mother scolded gently.

  "I've been workin' with Miss Katie, Momma, but it's not easy for a guy," he defended himself, holding up his short, thickly calloused fingers. The braids Miss Katie showed him required slender, agile fingers which he didn't have.

  His mother laughed. "I'm sorry to criticize. You do so well with her, Danny. I know your sister would be so proud of how you're raisin' her daughter. So, tell me the news from the Circle C," she demanded.

  Danny told her all the things happening at the ranch, leaving out one important development in his life…he was in love with a man. Well, almost a man, he supposed.

  "Momma, I guess you know the truth now," he whispered to no one in the empty kitchen. He hoped she forgave him for not being honest with her. He prayed she was in peace and out of pain.

  He turned on the radio attached under one of the cabinets in the kitchen to temper the silence in the house which was nearly deafening. He continued thinking about events from his childhood when his mother had been strong and supportive.

  He remembered when he enlisted and how sad she and his father were to see him go, but so proud of what he was doing. He hated the idea both of his parents would now know what happened to him that sent him back home, but he hoped they were proud of him for putting his life back together after all that bullshit.

  He poured himself another cup of coffee and glanced at the clock, seeing it was nearly five-thirty. He looked out the back window of the little house to see the sky turning a pale grey-purple as the sun began to rise. Dan took his coffee outside and sat on the back steps, watching the horizon dawn on the first day he knew he was truly alone to raise Kayley.

  Zach was too caught up in his own life to really care, and with his mother gone, Dan was sure his Aunt Rae would make another run at him regarding Kayley. He made a mental note to call Jon Wells.

  An hour later found him making phone calls to the minister at the church his mother attended, the funeral home, his brother (who didn't answer so he left a message), and finally his bosses at Circle C. He explained things to Tim, and as Dan listened to the words coming out of his mouth, he finally broke down.

  "Dan, I'll be over as soon as I get Rocky and Ryan dropped off at summer camp, okay? Matt's gotta be here for when Frazier, that new bucking bull, gets picked up today, but I know when he's finished he'll want to come over. Just let me get breakfast for my crew, and I'll be there. You need anything from the store?" Tim asked.

  "No," he responded between sniffles. No, he didn't need anything from the goddamn store. He needed someone to hold him and remind him things would be alright, but that wasn't going to happen…not if he didn't ask for it.

  "Can you call Mickey and Jon? I need to see Jon anyway," he requested as he heard little feet running down the hallway.

  "Sure. Anybody else?" Tim asked.

  "Just the family, okay? I don't have it in me to make the calls, Tim. Kayley's up, so I need to go. I gotta explain this to her," Dan informed quietly.

  "Yeah. I'll be over in a little while, okay?" Dan agreed and hung up the phone.

  He turned to see his niece…his daughter…s
ettle into a kitchen chair with her hair a wild mess all over her face. She was still in her Little Mermaid gown and she had an adorable, sleepy smile on her face.

  "Cereal?" she asked as she pushed her hair out of her face.

  "Or, how about eggs and toast?" Dan offered. He could make pancakes, which were a pain in the ass, but the girl seemed to like his eggs, toast, and jelly, so it was what he offered.

  "Mmmm. That sounds good," she told him with closed eyes as her head lolled against the kitchen chair. The thought of breaking her little heart nearly broke his, so he decided to wait until after breakfast to tell her what had happened.

  "Okay, well, I need my helper. Get the ladder," Dan ordered, grinning at her attempt to wait up by rubbing her fists in her eyes as she always did. It reminded him of his sister, Denise, who he guessed was now with their mother. It actually gave him a little peace.

  Kayley scurried off the chair and found the little step stool with the handles Dan had purchased for her so she could help with dishes. She hurriedly climbed up and reached to the upper cabinet to pull down plates for them.

  Dan had her break the eggs in a bowl and put the toast in the toaster. He then had her retrieve butter and jelly from the fridge and set the table for the two of them. After the eggs were finished cooking and the toast had been slathered in butter, the two of them sat down at the table and bowed their heads.

  Kayley cleared her throat. "God is good, God is great. Let us…No, that's wrong. God is great, God is good, let us thank him for this food. Amen," she recited. It was something she'd learned at Vacation Bible School…which was Miss Jeri's suggestion…and when Kayley asked to say the blessing, Dan obliged.

  "Amen," he added, silently thinking 'Momma, please help me break this gently."

  They were talking about what she was going to do at camp that day as Danny contemplated whether to postpone the bad news. Just as they finished up, the phone rang. He checked the caller ID to see it was his brother, so he looked at Kayley. "I'll clean up dishes. Why don't you go get dressed and bring your laundry from your hamper, please?" She nodded as she took off, leaving him to answer the phone.

  "Hey, Zach," he greeted.

  "Why the fuck did you call me at six this morning?" his brother complained, pissing off Dan, yet again.

  "Well, I'm sorry to disturb your beauty sleep, but I was under the impression you might wanna know Momma died. Forgive me," he snapped as he turned off the phone. He reached over and unplugged the unit before he started clearing the table.

  After the dishes were in the dishwasher, he heard a vehicle on the driveway. He walked over to the front windows to see Katie Simmons roll up in Josh's truck. She hopped out with a bag in her arms and walked up the front walk. He opened the door before she knocked. "Miss Katie, you didn't have to rush over here," he told her.

  "Nonsense, Daniel. Have you told Kayley yet?" she asked quietly as she walked into the house and gave him a hug as he shook his head he hadn't had the nerve to deliver the news to the girl. She then barreled through to the kitchen, looking around.

  She then turned to look at him again. "Why don't you go get dressed? I talked to Timothy, and after he gets the boys squared away, he's on his way. I'll just finish cleaning up the kitchen," she announced as she began running water in the sink. She opened the dishwasher and restacked everything before she set it to run.

  He determined his kitchen was in expert hands, so he went to his room and closed the door to shower and shave. After both, he started to comb his hair, determining he could use a trim, and then it occurred to him he didn't have a pair of dress slacks to wear to his mother's funeral. He needed clothes, and Kayley needed clothes, and he needed to call the funeral home and the florist and the cemetery.

  It was all so damn overwhelming, he sat down on the lid of the toilet with a towel around his waist. He felt the exhaustion settle into his soul, but he knew he had to be strong. There was too much to do for him to break down. He had a daughter to put first who had just lost a grandmother she dearly loved.

  He rose from his seat and brushed his teeth before he opened the bathroom door, seeing his bed was already made. It made him laugh because Katie Simmons was like a one-woman cleaning machine, much like his own mother had been when she was healthy.

  He quickly dressed in a pair of jeans and a snap-front, cowboy shirt. He tucked it in and pulled on his good boots because he had things to do in town. If Miss Katie would consent to watch Kayley for him since he'd decided not to send her to camp that day, he'd get everything done a lot faster without her. He also knew she'd have more fun with Miss Katie…the woman was like an adopted grandmother, just like Miss Jeri. She needed the female influences in her life, and he couldn’t think of two better than Jeri and Katie.

  When he walked down the hallway, he saw Kayley standing on a chair as Miss Katie braided her hair and secured the bottom with a rubber band. "There you go, darling girl. Now, let's go look in your closet to see what you have…" the older woman began.

  "Don't bother. All we have are jeans and t-shirts and a couple pair of shorts. We don't have anything we need, neither of us," he responded.

  "Okay. What size jeans you wear, Daniel?" she asked.

  "Thirty-two, thirty-three, ma'am," he explained.

  She nodded. "Shirt?"

  "Fifteen with a thirty-two sleeve," he responded, remembering the one dress shirt he owned.

  "I'd guess you're a thirty-eight-regular, off the rack?" she continued her inquiry.

  "When I was in the Army, that was my jacket size," Dan replied. She asked him a few more questions and smiled when she wrote down his answers.

  "Okay. Kayley and I are going on a girls' day. We're gonna shop and get lunch in Christiansburg. Are you gonna be okay to do the errands? You talk to Zach?" she asked with a cocked eyebrow.

  Dan felt his face turn red. "I got mad and hung up. I'll call him back," he promised.

  She nodded and took Kayley by the hand, leaving him alone in the house. He went about drying the breakfast pans to put away, along with the toaster before wiping down all the counters. He knew once Miss Katie heard they didn't have the proper attire for a funeral, she'd take on the task of getting them straight.

  It was then he wished he could talk to Jase, but he didn't want to call Wonderland. He'd have to work up to it later, and he prayed Jase could see his way clear to get to Holloway. Danny would buy him a bus ticket if it was needed. He just needed the man he felt could help him hold himself together.

  "Okay, I cleaned out the fridge because I know Jeri's gonna be cookin' all day. She and Katie made a list of tasks and divided it," Tim told him as Dan sat at the kitchen table with a beer later that day.

  He'd been all over town to make the arrangements and stopped at the pizza place in town to set up food for the wake on Thursday night. The minister couldn't do the funeral until Friday morning, so Danny had two days to stew and wonder what the hell to do. It was maddening.

  "We don't need food," Dan responded as he took a sip from the bottle of Bud Light Tim had handed him.

  Tim turned to him and cocked an eyebrow. "Dan, when your mother was in good health, what was the first thing she did when she heard someone in town had died?"

  Like a scolded child, Dan lowered his eyes. "She'd make a pie or a casserole. God, what will I do with all that food? I stopped by 'Ike's' and put in an order to have food at the funeral home Thursday evening. What should I…" Dan began as the house phone rang.

  He picked up the handset and saw the number, feeling a sense of relief as he answered, "Hi, Jase."

  "I heard about your Mom, Danny. How are you? I mean, are you okay?" Jase asked.

  Dan felt his heart beat a little harder in his chest, so he threw all caution to the wind. He needed Jase. "Can you…are you able to get away? Can you come?" Dan asked, trying to hide the tears in his voice as they poured down his face. He wasn't used to needing someone, but hearing Jase's voice, he couldn't help himself.

  "Babe, I'll be here
as soon as I can," Dan heard. It made his clenched fingers relax.

  "Stay with me and Kayley, please? I appreciate everybody comin' to support me, but can you stay at the house?" Dan asked. He hoped Jase could hear how much he needed him without having to say too much in front of Tim.

  "You bet I can. I'll get Mick and Jon to drop me off as soon as we get to town. You need anything?" Jase asked quietly.

  Dan sniffed, unable to hold back any longer. "Just you."

  After the two of them hung up, Dan turned to look at Tim, a little nervous, knowing his boss had heard the conversation. "You got anything to say?" he challenged.

  He saw Tim smile. "Look, Danny, I like Jason. I think that kid…young man…needs someone to be a supportive influence in his life, based on what Savannah told Matt. I…uh, Matt and I have been in a bit of a quandary since Jason came to Holloway because he looks like Matt, though a younger version of him. My husband lost his mind about it.

  “We're working through it, but don't let Matt's idiotic behavior have any bearing on your relationship with Jason, Danny. Just be careful because he's young, though he seems very mature," Tim offered as he held Danny's hand.

  Dan looked up and smiled. "He's a great guy, Tim. I can understand why Matt would be jealous because Jase is hot as hell, but I know you'd never give another guy a second glance. If Matt doesn't know it, send him to the barn to sleep with the horses for a few nights," Dan teased in a moment of levity.

  They were both laughing as they heard Miss Katie park on the street. Dan went to the front door to see Katie motion for him to come help her. She had bags from Belk's, and he hoped she hadn't spent more money than he could afford to pay back. Before he could move off the porch, Tim ducked around him and walked up to his aunt, kissing her on the cheek.