Loving the Broken Man (The Cowboys of Katydid Farm Book 3)

by Sam E. Kraemer

  "Why didn't anyone call me? I mean, you all had my address and cell number because you sent me cards on my birthday and Christmas and I got texts on occasion. Hell, Josh, I spent my Christmases with Mickey and Jon, and they never said a goddamn word," Jase vented.

  Josh took another draw on his beer before he set it on the patio table. "From what I understand, Jon couldn't say anything because Danny's his client, and he swore Mick to silence. Was it wrong? Only heaven knows, but I think you have the power to make it right…if you want to. If it's too much, then leave Kayley with us and go off to your new life, Jase. After all this bullshit, nobody would blame you, I swear," Josh assured.

  Jason sat on the patio considering his options, and he quickly reached an undisputable conclusion. He still loved Danny Johnson and his daughter, and he wasn't going to allow Danny to scare him off a second time.

  First time around, Jase was young and naïve, and he didn't really know how to stand up for himself with Danny. Over the years, he'd matured and he'd learned how to fight his own battles. If anyone was going to deal with Danny Johnson, it was going to be Jason Langston, the man who still loved him in spite of all the bullshit Dan had put Jase through.

  Before he could respond, Katie and Kayley walked out of the house, both seeming to be giddy. "She made cake and ice cream," Kayley told him as she set a plate in front of him, glancing at the half-filled bottle of beer which led to a frown.

  Jase grinned at her as he rose from the table and dumped it over the side of the patio before he sat back down. He saw Kayley’s approving nod before he took his seat again. "Looks great," he told the girl, seeing her smile as he dug in.

  Jason Langston had a lot of things to consider regarding his future, one of which was his job situation, but he had two weeks to figure out some things.

  Later that night, he and Kayley settled into the bedrooms Kathleen Simmons seemed to keep at the ready for any stray who came along. As Jase sunk into the bed he'd first slept in when he'd shown up at Katydid Farm, a kid with nowhere to go, he actually said a little prayer of thanks. His future might be a little cloudy, but it was a lot better than it had been when he'd first left Texas. There was a lot of promise in his future if he just took it by the horns.

  With Kayley in the loving care of Miss Katie, Jase took the opportunity to follow the directions Josh had given him to go to the home of Felipe and Javier where they lived above the flower shop, "Flowers by Felipe."

  Jase saw the flower shop was open, so he hopped out of his truck and walked inside, seeing a really good-looking guy with salt-and-pepper hair and dark eyes. He was working on a computer with glasses perched on the end of his nose. When the man looked up, he smiled at Jase. He was large, though he was older. Jase was certain he could take him if there would be a fight about getting to see Danny, but something about the man told Jase it wouldn't be necessary.

  "Good afternoon. Welcome to 'Flowers by Felipe'. How can I help you?" the handsome man in glasses asked.

  Jase assessed the situation for a moment before he smiled. "I'm guessing you're Javier?" He stood to his full height, grateful he was taller than the other man, though the Hispanic man presented a striking figure.

  Jase saw Javier size him up and then smile. "I am. Do I know you?"

  Jase grinned in return because he didn't want to come across as threatening. They were Danny's friends, and he hoped they'd be his friends as well if things worked his way. "I'm Jason Langston. I understand you and Felipe put Danny under lock and key. Can I see him, please?"

  Jase reached into his pocket and pulled out a note Kayley had written when he'd told her he was going to talk to her dad. He'd read it, and it made him cry. He hoped it struck a chord with Javier.

  Daddy,

  I really miss you, and I want to see you. Mr. Matt told me I can't because you're sick but when I've been sick, you make me feel better. Maybe I can make you feel better?

  I love you, Daddy,

  Sweet Pea

  "Oh, for crap's sakes. Jase, he's upstairs. His sponsor is up with him right now, but can you hang around for about twenty minutes so I can get Phil to come down and we can talk to you? He's not embracing his sobriety at all. We know he's just biding his time until he thinks we think he's okay, but he seems to think he’s fooling us."

  The older man laughed a little as he continued. "Dan seems to think he's the first guy who's ever gone through this shit, though we try to tell him he's not. Now, while we wait, can I get you a cup of coffee or sweet tea?" Javier asked.

  "Sweet tea would be nice. I think we'll see a lot of each other, so getting to know you might smooth the way," Jase offered.

  The two men went to the work room where Javie continued to process orders, showing Jase how to make a perfect bouquet of roses to deliver to the Mayor's wife. It was nice to watch him work with the flowers, or so Jase told himself. He actually felt at ease as the two men began breaking the ground for a new friendship.

  Twenty minutes later, two men came into the back room, and neither of them was Danny, Jase noted. "Well? How bad was it?" Javie asked.

  "Same," sighed the man Jase decided must be Phil. He was handsome as well, but he seemed to be more troubled. He walked slowly into the back room, taking a handful of flowers from the older man before he gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek.

  The third man, a short, thin man in cleric's clothes walked over to Jase. "I'm Stuart Manning. I'm the pastor at 'Church of the Good Shepherd' in town. We're a small congregation, but we enjoy worship together. Do you live in town?" the man asked with a welcoming demeanor.

  "I'm Jason Langston," he introduced, seeing the pastor turn to look at Felipe, who smiled.

  "Oh, I've been waiting to meet you, you femme fatale…well, I guess you don't exactly fit that bill," Felipe told him as he slowly made his way over to Jase.

  "Yeah, I'd guess not. I'm guessing Danny's upstairs?" Jase asked.

  "Well, yeah, but…" Felipe started.

  Reverend Manning touched the taller man's shoulder and smiled. "I think it's time, don't you? None of us seem to be making any headway with him. Danny can't continue…I think it's time the two of them talked," the reverend explained.

  When the larger man backed off, pointing to a set of stairs that went up the back of the building, Jase nodded in gratitude. He took them two at a time, opening the screen door without knocking. The living room was quaint, for sure. It was lived in, and it was inviting. He allowed the screen door to slam and took a deep breath.

  "What the fuck now?" he heard from the man he loved as he shuffled into the room with a glass in his hand. When it hit the floor, it shattered. The first thing Jase noticed was Danny was in sweats with bare feet, so he walked over to pick him up, noticing he'd lost weight.

  Jase carried Danny to the couch and placed him on it as he went to the kitchen to find a dustpan and broom to clean up the broken glass mess. "What are ya doin' here?" he heard behind him.

  Jase found a closet where there were cleaning supplies, so he grabbed what he needed and began cleaning up the glass. He glanced up to see Danny sitting stone still. When he was certain the area was glass-free, he walked over to the couch and sat down next to Danny…with a foot of space between them.

  "I graduated. I wanted to stop by to see you and Kayley. I know the adoption went through because I still talk to people we both know, so I knew I wasn't a problem in the process and I doubt I would have been anyway.

  "For the record, Jon Wells never told me anything about what was going on with you, but everybody else admitted their mistakes. How about you, Daniel? You got sins for which you need to atone?" Jase asked, feeling the anger surge from a place he'd tried to keep buried deep inside. When Danny laughed, it caught Jase off guard.

  He saw Danny close his eyes before he spoke. "I have many sins, Jase. I shoulda never…we shoulda never got together. You have a great life waitin' for ya. I'm just me with nothin' to offer you but a drunk with an eight-year-old kid somebody's likely gonna take away fro
m me," Danny told him without looking him in the eye.

  Jason Langston sat there, looking at the shadow of the man he'd fallen in love with, and he was actually ashamed of himself for not seeing the bullshit stunt Danny had pulled for what it was.

  Jason would have been happy to go to Virginia Tech where he could have received the same degree, but at the time, he simply wasn't worldly enough to see things for what they really were.

  He knew Daniel Johnson had lived a quiet life in a small town from which he’d only been away for a year or so away when he had his misfortunes in the Army. It seemed he thought cutting all ties with Jase was the only way to give the younger man freedom to fly and reach his potential.

  Jase knew he had things he needed to explain to Danny; maybe not that day, but eventually. They needed to definitely clear the air between them because they weren’t that different, really.

  Jase chuckled at the realization. "You're an arrogant, stupid man, but I find I'm still in love with you, you crusty bastard. I've never stopped loving you, Dan. That doesn't mean we don't have a lot of shit to work through, to be sure.

  “You, my love, are going to have to go to rehab. I have some money left from my grandparents and if it's not enough? I'll find it somewhere, but we're gonna find a place for you to work through this shit and get better.

  "I'm going to take care of Kayley while you're gone, and we're going to start this whole damn thing over, okay?" Jase offered.

  He saw Danny look up with a disbelief on his handsome face. "Why would ya? After what happened, I'd imagine you'd hate me. Why would ya wanna try to help me?"

  Jase walked over to him and pulled him into his arms, hugging him tightly. "Because, Daniel Johnson, I have faith in you. I love you too much to let you scare me off again. I'm not a kid now, so you can't get rid of me easily, Old Man," he teased, hearing Danny laugh as he wrapped his arms around Jase's body and held him tight.

  They had a long road to travel, but Jase had faith. Danny Johnson was the only man he'd ever love, as he'd thought the first time they'd been together. It wasn't any less true as he felt the warmth from the man's body. They'd get through shit together and come out on the other side.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Danny sat on the porch of a little cabin he shared with three other guys he hadn't known prior to the day he'd arrived at the lodge. He was in Utah, of all places, but it had been an eye-opening experience for him.

  Cirque Lodge in Provo Canyon was definitely an upscale facility. It was nicer than nearly anyplace he'd ever been, except maybe Wonderland when he'd gone to visit Mick and Jon.

  Jon had found the place for him through a friend, and Jase had given him the courage to go. It was the first time he'd been on a plane, and he couldn't even comprehend who was paying for it, but three years in the gutter was long enough to live in the darkness.

  Danny couldn't blame his addiction on anyone but himself because he'd been the one to turn his life upside down when he pushed Jase away, thinking there was no way for the two of them to work things out and have a wonderful future together.

  Danny didn't think about the fact Jase could have gone to college in Blacksburg and they could have stayed together. He'd made a decision for Jase, thinking he knew what was best for both of them. It was a mistake Dan would own, but he was determined not to become one of those people who spouted platitudes like a lot of the people at the lodge.

  He'd heard them rehearsing apology speeches to all the people they'd wronged, and he knew he owed apologies to most of the people he loved, but he wasn't going to make an ass of himself about it. It wasn't his way, and he knew the people who knew him and loved him would understand.

  He heard the screen door of his cabin open and turned to see Curtis Armstrong, his sponsor at the lodge, walk inside. "You packed up?" he asked.

  The man was shorter than Dan, who stood tall at five-ten, but Curtis was nothing but muscle. They'd sparred in the gym a time or two, and Dan learned not to discount his abilities.

  "Yeah. I'm ready. Why don't you ever go home?" Danny asked, curious about why Curtis stayed in Utah. He'd been a source of support in group therapy, and Dan knew Curtis hailed from New Mexico. He hadn't really told them too much about himself, but Dan chalked it up to the fact he was a counselor. It still bugged him, though, so he asked.

  "They set us up in groups according to things we have in common, so it's not a coincidence you're in my group. I'm gay and I grew up on a ranch in New Mexico. As I told you, my husband died. Actually, I couldn’t call him my husband back then, but we felt we were as married as any straight couple.

  My husband was beaten to death. He was a social worker in Albuquerque, and he went on a routine call to check on a family. The father was high on PCP and beat him to death with a hammer because Grayson asked how the son had broken his wrist.

  "I was a cop at the time and I was first on the scene. When I saw it was Grayson, I walked away from the scene and got into my car. I couldn't…well, I wouldn't be allowed to work the case, but I just couldn't handle it. I got into my car and went to Mexico where I stayed in a tequila-fueled stupor for months. When I sobered up enough to go home, Grayson's parents wouldn't tell me where he'd been buried. Seems they didn't know he was gay.

  "There are so many fucking things I wish I've have done differently, Dan, but you have a chance I never had. You have the man you love waiting for you at the Common House to take you home.

  "He's ready to offer you love and support to get to the other side of your addiction where you can be solid in your sobriety. Take the hand and hold it tight, and never take it for granted. You never know how long your life might be," Curtis suggested after he explained his own personal hell. Dan damn well didn't want that for himself.

  They loaded Danny's things into the golf cart and sped toward the Common House where a lot of cars were parked on the parking lot to the side of the building. When Curtis stopped, Dan was hesitant to get out of the cart and even grabbed Curtis' arm before he could step out of the cart. "What if I can't stay sober once I get home? What if I…" he searched for another reason why he was suddenly frozen with fear.

  Curtis took his hand and tapped on the top of it. "Focus, Dan. Remember what you have to lose…your daughter and your extended family who we've talked to during conference sessions. Get yourself a sponsor at home, and find meetings near where you live and the hours they take place. There are online groups that meet at different times of the day if you need to talk and can't find a meeting. Your sponsor will be there for you as well, Dan.

  "From what I understand, your boyfriend has been going to ALANON meetings, so I really think you'll have a wonderful support group waiting for you at home. And, in the unlikely event all those things don't fall together when you need them, here's my number," he told Danny, handing him a laminated business card.

  Danny laughed. He should have known the man was prepared. "How about if I just wanna check on ya? Is it okay if I call ya when I'm not havin' a crisis?" he asked with a small smile.

  Curtis laughed. "Those are my favorite calls to get, Dan. Keep me updated. I had a chance to talk to Jason while you were at your exit seminar, and he's an impressive guy. He said your daughter is chomping at the bit to get you home, so go on inside and get on with your life. Don't let alcoholism be your legacy," the older man explained as he hopped out and helped Danny carry his bags inside.

  When Dan saw Jase pacing in the family room of the Common House, he stopped for just a minute to take in the changes in the young man. He was damn tall, which Danny hadn't noticed the last time he'd seen him when Jase and Mickey took him to the airport to put him on the plane to Utah.

  He'd bulked up, which made Dan miss the slender young guy who he'd met when the kid came to work at the Circle C. Jason Langston wasn't the same guy Danny had originally fallen in love with, but then again, he wasn't the same guy either.

  It would take them some time to get reacquainted he knew, and his newfound sobriety would factor into it as w
ell. He wasn't sure how they'd work it out, but he prayed they'd be together at the end of it. The world was a great unknown to Danny Johnson, but the possibilities were truly endless as he looked at Jason Langton.

  Dan cleared his throat, seeing Jase turn around to grin at him. Jase opened his long arms and hurried across the parquet floor to take Danny into them, even lifting him off the floor for a moment.

  He put Dan down and pulled back, tears streaming down his face. "I'm sorry, Danny. I'm just so happy to see you. You look amazing," Jase whispered as he reached up to wipe his cheeks. Danny stopped him and leaned forward, kissing him on both cheeks before he reached up and wiped away the tears himself.

  "Thank you for comin' to take me home, and thank you for even comin' back. I love you so damn much, but we need to take things slow. We've talked on conference calls during my therapy sessions with the Doc. At my last meetin' with him, he suggested it might be a good thing if we started over, slowly. It would give us time to…" he began before Jase cut him off.

  "…to get to know each other again and make certain we both still want the relationship. I know. I talked to my own therapist. I rented a house in Holloway, not far from the Katydid. I work from home, but I have to go up to Rockville once a month to meet with my team, most of who also work from home. So, we have a one o'clock flight. I have a rental car. You have your walking papers…" Jase teased as he motioned his head toward the door.

  Dan laughed as he picked up his things, having already said goodbye to the people he'd walked with through the fire in order to find temperance. He prayed they'd all stay on their path.

  The sun was setting as Jase drove them home from the airport where they’d landed in Roanoke. The running tally in Dan's head had the whole thing costing a lot more money than he knew he could ever repay.

  "How am I gonna pay for that rehab? I have health insurance through the ranch, but I know that was a high-priced place. I can't pay ya back, Jase, not for a very long time," he explained.