Every Mother's Son

by Val Wood

  Fletcher saw his mother’s face slump and crease and she suddenly looked very old. ‘I loved him,’ she whispered. ‘And I thought he loved me and mebbe he did, but he’s such a principled man.’ Her voice grew bitter. ‘And his principles meant more to him than I did and so he didn’t betray his wife. Men!’ she scoffed. ‘You’re all ’same in ’long run. You tek what you want and then leave. Even you,’ she added scathingly. ‘You said you wanted ’truth but what you really wanted me to say was that I lied ’first time I told you. But I didn’t lie. You are Christopher Hart’s son and every time I see you I’m reminded of him and it’s like a knife driven through my heart.’

  CHAPTER TEN

  Fletcher said nothing to Harriet about his mother until they’d gone upstairs that evening and then he sat on the edge of the bed with his chin in his hands. Harriet was propped up on her pillow waiting for him to speak.

  ‘She’s confirmed that it’s true,’ he muttered. ‘She thought that Hart would keep her as his mistress after he married. I can’t—’ he stopped. ‘I can’t … think of her in that way. She’s my mother, for God’s sake!’ he said bitterly. ‘I can’t think of her being – being—’ He broke off.

  ‘You can’t think of her being young or willing to consider being a gentleman’s sweetheart when he was married to someone else?’ Harriet murmured.

  A doxy we’d have called her in ’streets of Hull, she thought. A drab, a young man’s bit on the side. But I know how devious she can be, I’ve had a taste of it, and I wonder if Christopher Hart saw through her too, perhaps even realized that she would want more of his time, more commitment than he could ever give. And did he ever guess or did she tell him that her child was his?

  ‘No,’ Fletcher said at last. ‘I can’t. And yet for all those years he gave her ’tenancy of Marsh Farm.’

  ‘To keep her quiet,’ Harriet said, and saw Fletcher’s pained expression. ‘I’m sorry, Fletcher, but that would be ’way it was.’

  He gave a wry sigh and climbed into bed. ‘You women.’ He kissed her cheek. ‘How is it that you know everything there is to know about men?’

  They lay sleepless for an hour, murmuring about what to do, and finally decided that there wasn’t any real threat. Maria wasn’t likely to see much of Stephen after he went back to school, and, Harriet thought, Melissa Hart has her suspicions. I don’t know how or why she does, maybe she’s questioned her husband about his life as a young man and Ellen Tuke’s name cropped up more than once, or more often than a servant girl’s should, but she knows something, I’m convinced of it; and that’s why I went to see her all those years ago before Fletcher and I got married. I have no doubt that she will keep her sons away from our daughters.

  ‘Tom,’ Daniel said, ‘seeing as we’ve got a quiet spell, can we go out in your boat one day?’

  ‘Fishing?’ Tom asked. ‘It’ll be a bit choppy to go out of ’estuary.’

  ‘I didn’t specially mean fishing, but I suppose if we caught some supper it’d be a bonus. No, I meant to find out if I could spend time in a boat without being sick again!’

  Tom had taken him out on other occasions and Daniel had thrown up over the side of the boat as soon as they’d hit rough water.

  ‘Mine’s onny a small boat,’ Tom said. ‘That’s why you’re sick. In a bigger boat or a ship you might not be. Are you still considering being a sailor?’

  ‘Well, mebbe not, but I’d quite like to travel – onny don’t tell my ma yet – and wherever I go, if I want to travel abroad I’ll have to go across water at some time.’

  ‘Unless you climb aboard a herring gull’s back,’ Tom laughed. ‘Aye, all right. But have you thought that if you do go away we’ll be a man short on ’farm?’

  Daniel nodded. ‘I’ve thought of that but it won’t be yet, not for a couple of years, and by then Joseph will be able to do a few jobs to help Lenny, won’t he?’

  ‘Aye,’ Tom said thoughtfully, ‘so if you’re not careful, Dan, you’ll be mekking yourself redundant!’

  ‘I’ve thought of that too, and I’ve wondered if ’farm is going to keep all of us.’

  ‘Ah, I get it, so you’ll go off and mek your fortune and come home and keep us all in luxury?’

  ‘That’s it,’ Daniel agreed. ‘So you don’t need to worry about your old age, Tom. I’ll tek care of you.’

  ‘Will you find me a nice little wife as well?’ Tom asked. ‘One who can cook and keep house just like your ma?’

  ‘That’d be impossible,’ Daniel said. ‘She’s one in a million. There’s nobody in ’world like my ma.’

  In January at Hart Holme, Charles and Beatrice were preparing to go away. Charles was looking forward to being back at school; he enjoyed the company of his schoolfellows and was doing well with his studies, but when he thought of his future here on the estate and eventually taking over from his father he had a few misgivings as to whether he would settle down in the country. He thought often of the conversation that he and Daniel had had about travelling abroad together and considered that they would be ideal companions. Daniel was practical and easy-going, optimistic and always ready with a quip to lighten a conversation, whereas he regarded himself as more serious, with an interest in people, history and art. Above all, he spoke French and had the option next year of taking another language. As yet, however, he had said nothing to his parents of any of this.

  Beatrice knocked on his bedroom door and he called for her to come in. They both had a special knock to indicate who they were, but they never ever barged in; they’d respected each other’s privacy since childhood.

  Beatrice stretched out on his bed and unfastened her long fair hair from its plait, arranging it across the counterpane. ‘I’ve been sorting out what to take with me,’ she said. ‘I hope I’m doing the right thing. Will I like school, do you think, Charles?’

  ‘I think you will.’ He turned from where he was kneeling looking through his school books. ‘You won’t be bored, at any rate, as you are now with just you and Miss whatsername.’

  Beatrice went through governesses rapidly. None of them could understand her whims, or her desire to be somewhere other than sitting at a desk when the weather was pleasant.

  ‘Can’t be worse, can it?’ she murmured. ‘And I’ll have other girls to talk to and it’s only until the summer, and then I’ll be off to Switzerland to be finished off.’ She laughed at the thought of it. ‘It’s a pity I can’t go straight there, but the Academy insisted I had experience of general schooling rather than just a governess. I wish I’d thought of it before.’ She sighed.

  ‘I suppose they want to be sure you can mingle with other young ladies,’ Charles said vaguely, packing his books into a trunk. ‘Being only with a governess all these years you could be a timid little thing or an unsociable outcast.’

  ‘Which I am.’ She sighed again, and turned sideways so that her head hung over the side of the bed and her hair fanned out like a waterfall to the floor.

  ‘As it is,’ he said, glancing at her, ‘they’re going to wonder who on earth has arrived and turned them upside down.’

  ‘Do you think I’ll ever be considered beautiful?’ she asked, her face turning pink as the blood rushed to her head.

  ‘How would I know?’ he retorted. ‘I’m your brother. You’ll have to ask somebody else. Ask Daniel the next time you see him. He’d tell you.’

  Beatrice hauled herself up again. ‘He wouldn’t know!’ she said scornfully. ‘He wouldn’t notice. No, really, if you were looking at me as if you’d just met me and I were not your sister, what would you think? I mean, would you think, erm, for instance, she’d be quite lovely if her nose were longer … or … shorter or, erm, if her eyes were larger or she were a little fatter – you know, that sort of thing.’

  Charles rocked back on his heels. ‘Well, for one thing, I wouldn’t be attracted to you because you and I look quite alike, and I’d probably choose someone dark-haired and exotic, whereas you are the typical English woman with y
our fair skin that burns in the sun, just as mine does.’

  He eyed her as she pouted crossly. ‘But I suppose you’re all right. Your hair’s nice, blonde and shiny. I don’t know! How am I supposed to know? I don’t know any other girls.’ He paused thoughtfully. ‘I suppose that’s why we were encouraged to have the party. Maybe our parents were sizing up the contestants for our eventual nuptials.’

  Beatrice shot off the bed and crouched beside him. ‘You’re not serious?’ And as he nodded, she teased, ‘So that’s you married off to Anne Mason and I to the – what did Daniel call him? The toffee-nosed idiot Hanson.’ She folded her arms in front of her. ‘I think not!’

  ‘I’d gamble that it’s the start,’ Charles maintained. ‘We’ll be encouraged to go to parties and balls and suppers to meet the right people.’ He closed the trunk. ‘Do you think that Father and Mama had to do this? Do you think that when Father was young he was invited to meet young ladies to discover if he got along with them and if they were suitable for marriage? I can’t imagine it, can you?’

  Beatrice considered. ‘Yes, I can. I can imagine Papa being quite a catch. I think that all the eligible young women in Yorkshire, and,’ she added darkly, ‘even those who were not, would have fallen in love with him; and he’s still quite handsome. You’ll look like him, Charles, when you’re old.’

  He wasn’t sure if he was being flattered, but he commented, ‘Well, nevertheless, when I’ve finished school I’m not going straight to university as Father wants me to; I’m going on a tour of Europe with Daniel. He wants to find out about his background and I want to see life as it really is. We won’t take a Grand Tour with Mr Thomas Cook, we’ll make our own way; we’ll cross France and Switzerland and travel into Italy, where, I suspect, Daniel’s forebears are from. I shall plan a full itinerary nearer the time.’

  Beatrice had been listening silently until then, but now she said, ‘Italy? You think that’s where his family is from? Because he’s so dark-haired, you mean?’

  ‘And his eyes,’ Charles emphasized. ‘Have you never noticed them? So dark, almost Arabian.’

  ‘Yes,’ she said softly. ‘Of course I’ve noticed them. Will I still be in Switzerland when you come through, I wonder?’ Her eyes gazed dreamily into the distance as if she were looking into the future. ‘I think … no, I’m sure, that I most certainly will be.’

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Daniel always eagerly awaited the return of Charles during school holidays, but one Easter, instead of coming home, Charles sent a postcard from the Lake District to tell him that the whole family was staying in a lodge near Lake Windermere and would be walking the fells and sailing, but he looked forward to seeing Daniel again in the summer.

  ‘Lucky beggar,’ Daniel said, after reading the card to his mother and sisters. ‘Look at those mountains.’ He showed them the sepia photograph. ‘How high they are! Have you ever seen such high mountains, Ma?’

  ‘Me!’ Harriet laughed. ‘No. Nor likely to. Top of this dale is as high as I’ll ever get.’ She looked closely at the picture. ‘You’d have to have strong legs to get up those hills.’

  ‘Maybe they’ll ride mountain ponies.’ Maria looked over Daniel’s shoulder. ‘Did you say that ’whole family have gone?’

  Daniel glanced at her. ‘Yes, all of them.’ He gave her a smile; he knew who she was really asking about.

  Maria nodded, and then Dolly said, ‘They must be really, really rich for all of them to go off on holiday, especially to somewhere so far away.’

  Harriet cast her eyes over her daughters. Seeing Maria’s downcast face and Dolly’s envious one, she hoped that neither of them would develop expectations beyond those that could be realized.

  ‘Let me tell you what being rich means,’ she said, drawing Maria close and reaching for Dolly’s hand. ‘Being rich is having someone to care for you; being rich means not having to worry about paying ’rent or wonder where ’next meal is coming from. We are lucky. We have our own land, our own house; we owe nothing to anybody. We are rich. It’s hard work for your father and Tom, and Daniel and Lenny too – for all of us,’ she added, smiling at Elizabeth and Joseph. ‘We all have to pull our weight, but we’re doing it for us, so that we can have a comfortable living. And most of all we’re lucky to have each other.’

  ‘Do you think, then, Ma,’ Dolly said, ‘that if we work really hard, one day we might have a big house like the Harts and be able to go away on holidays?’

  Harriet gave a small sigh. ‘Is that what you want, Dolly? To have servants to look after you, to only mix with people who have ’same kind of house as you do?’

  ‘I’d still keep my friends,’ she said. ‘I’d invite them to come to my parties.’

  ‘I don’t think they’d come,’ Harriet said softly. ‘I think they might be envious of you.’

  ‘I’m not envious of Charles or Beatrice,’ Daniel said. ‘Charles is still my best friend, and so is Beatrice.’ As he spoke her name he realized that he had missed her chatter and exuberance since she went away to Harrogate.

  ‘There’s always an exception, Daniel,’ his mother pointed out, ‘and you and Charles are lucky to enjoy and keep your friendship, even though your lives are so different.’

  ‘But what about you and Mrs Hart?’ Maria asked. ‘You’re friends, aren’t you?’

  Harriet paused before answering. It was true she and Melissa Hart had a special relationship, but friends? No, she thought, we just have some things in common. ‘We are friendly,’ she agreed in compromise. ‘And I know we could share a confidence. But no, we aren’t friends in ’proper meaning of the word.’

  ‘Well, I think it’s silly,’ Dolly pouted. ‘We’re all ’same, aren’t we? Does it matter who’s got ’most money?’

  ‘No,’ her mother said. ‘It doesn’t, except to the person who hasn’t got any. And it’s not just about money, Dolly. It’s a different kind of life, and you’re either born into it or you’re not.’

  Dale Top Farm continued to make a reasonable living for them all. The winters had been bitterly cold and ice was seen in the river near Goole, but the spring Maria turned fifteen Harriet suggested that she should try for service in one of the larger houses in Brough. She was a hard-working girl with many skills in the home, and she helped Harriet with the milking and the egg production, but her mother thought that her personality might flourish if she was in the company of more people. Maria didn’t want to go and cried at her mother’s proposal, but she saw the sense of it.

  ‘I can come home if I’m unhappy, can’t I?’ she asked, drying her eyes.

  ‘Of course you can, but try it for six months,’ Harriet implored. ‘You need to know what it’s like to be out in ’world, instead of up here with no one to talk to but us. On your days off you’ll meet other young maids, and lads too I shouldn’t wonder, which will be a good thing as long as you’re careful and mind what your employer says.’

  Harriet had another reason for wanting Maria to move away. When Stephen Hart was last home from school he had ridden over to talk to Fletcher, ostensibly to discuss farming, but he also spent time talking to Maria, and Harriet worried when she saw how dewy-eyed Maria became.

  Dolly, on the other hand, said that she would like to work away from home; Harriet knew very well that she wanted her freedom, but Dolly was giddy and still had to learn some sense, and her mother considered that she was not yet mature enough to leave her care. Harriet had seen plenty of children and young girls and boys working long hours in mills and factories, as she herself had done as a child in Hull. It wasn’t right, she had said to Fletcher, as she pondered on the plight of young mothers who had to work to feed their families, and so put their babies and young children into the dubious care of unscrupulous childminders.

  I am so lucky, she thought for the hundredth and more times. How very lucky I am.

  In the summer Charles sought out Daniel. ‘I haven’t spoken to my father about going abroad,’ he admitted. ‘But I’ve dropped a few h
ints about some of the chaps doing the Grand Tour before they go on to university. A party of them are setting off for Switzerland this summer with one of the tutors; they’re visiting Geneva, Lucerne and some of the other alpine districts. It’s very well organized, but I think you and I should start out next spring and just go where our feet tell us. What do you think, Daniel? I’ll be nineteen by then and I’m really excited about the idea of travelling. I’ve done well with my French lessons, although my Italian is a bit scratchy. I can’t seem to roll my r’s,’ he laughed.

  Daniel was anxious. He hadn’t mentioned the proposed excursion to his parents either, at least not since some time back when he’d gone out on another trip with Tom and hadn’t been sick, not even when they went out of the Humber mouth and into the German Ocean and along the coast as far as Bridlington.

  Since then they had been too busy for him to even think about it; they’d bought more sheep and cattle, and at market had sold bullocks and heifers for between six and ten pounds, lambs at a good price and half-bred ewes for between thirty-eight and forty-six shillings, which made up for the hay crops which hadn’t done so well as the summers had been wet. In addition, they had bought a small plot of land from a neighbouring farmer who was retiring, to use eventually for pig breeding.

  Lenny had said he’d like to leave school and specialize in pigs and build up a herd. Harriet had raised objections, but Fletcher had said mildly, ‘He can read and write and add up, and if pig farming is what he wants to do, what’s ’point in him staying on at school? He’s keener on farming than Daniel is – Daniel’s love is his hosses. Has he mentioned anything more about travelling to find his grandfather?’

  ‘No.’ Harriet smiled. ‘I’m sure it was just a childish whim. It was Rosie who put that idea in his head. I think he’s got over it.’

  Fletcher wasn’t so sure and reminded her that Daniel had been out again in Tom’s boat. ‘Tom said he’s got over his seasickness and is still talking of going abroad.’