by Sam Destiny
“You’re lucky, son,” Carl announced, handing over a mechanic’s jumpsuit, too. It said a lot that Jam had brought his own protective glasses.
“Is that so?” Jam asked while pulling on the protective gear. His skin was crawling with anxiety as if a million ants had made it their home.
“We just got a new one in. Perfect piece. The engine gave in, though.” Carl took the lead and Jam followed him, already feeling better the moment he lifted the sledgehammer.
They rounded a few piles of metal junk and then Jam’s eyes fell on a perfectly fine red car.
“What the hell? They could’ve sold it, for fuck’s sake. Someone probably would have been ready to buy a new engine,” he stated in disbelief, and Carl shrugged.
“I thought about selling it, but I think it’ll satisfy you a lot more than any of the crap pieces I have.”
Jam wouldn’t even deny that. He knew that the shinier the surface, the more he could ruin the thing. Just as it was with him.
“Radio’s working. Find a heavy metal station and get on it, boy.” Carl came over and placed his hand on Jam’s shoulder. He looked at the older man, seeing the sadness in his eyes.
“When you didn’t return for nearly a decade, I thought your horrors were over finally. Now, I can see they’re not. You need to get on that shit. I saw your whole body trembling the moment you stepped out of your car.” He shook his head, and Jam gritted his teeth.
“She has my son.”
If Carl was surprised that his abuser had been a woman, he didn’t let on. “I think I should gear up as well and join you,” he growled, and Jam saw his eyes blazing as he looked up.
“If I ever find out who did all that bullshit to you, I’ll probably need a whole squad of cars,” he growled and then turned away.
Jam thought about foregoing the music, but heavy, angry sounds always had been crucial to his soul’s healing. Even though he hadn’t needed any of it in forever, he needed it now.
The moment he had found the right station, heavy screaming filled the air and he raised the hammer. Pausing for only a second, he then let it crash down on the windows. The shattering sounds mixed with the music eased his mind, giving him a rush like a cutter felt when he saw the first drops of blood well from a fresh mark. It wasn’t anything good, or healthy, but it sure gave a person relief as nothing else ever could.
Jam turned the destruction into a symphony. The raining down of the sledgehammer against the metal came at regular intervals, accentuating the music, pushing it higher and higher until the echo of Jam’s pain filled the whole junkyard. For weeks in a row, he had been here to express his anger the only way he knew without hurting people or himself, and it had always done its deed. He wouldn’t stop until his arms were shaking and his knees threatened to give in.
It was what he needed—mental and physical exhaustion. He knew tears were streaming down his cheeks, leaving tracks in the dust that was flying through the air with every step he took and settled on his cheeks because of the sweat running down his skin.
He didn’t care. This was his escape, and he needed it.
Losing track of time and space, he focused on ruining everything about this car that once had been shiny. He started in the back, making his way around until reaching the front, closing his eyes as exhaustion started to set in. He raised the hammer, waiting for a moment, testing his emotions and his body. He was so concentrated that it took him a second to realize that the music had changed.
He let the hammer go down again, only to whip around as he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. He dropped the hammer, too afraid what he’d do with it otherwise when he realized it was a dark-haired angel. That was the only explanation Jam had for the vision standing in front of him.
She wore black heels that were dust-covered yet sexy, leading the eyes up long, bare legs that vanished beneath a skirt that was a lot shorter than he knew on her. She wore a white blouse that was pretty much giving a perfect idea what was hidden in the black bra showing at the neckline.
“Holy fuck, Aly,” he mumbled, wanting to rub his eyes, but the dirt on his hands wouldn’t be the best thing for his eyes.
She didn’t reply. Instead, she pulled some pins from her hair, making the dark waves tumble down her back. Then she walked closer to him, pulling him with her until she was almost seated on the hood of the red piece of trash.
Jam didn’t hesitate, leaning in to run his tongue along the edges of her bra. She instantly moaned, and he pushed the cups aside, finding her nipples, sucking one while gently twisting the other between his fingers.
Her fingers were between them, unzipping the jumpsuit and then unbuttoning his jeans. Jam growled against her skin as she wrapped her hand around his cock and started stroking.
His hands left her chest, pushing his way beneath her skirt, finding that she had obviously forgotten her panties. When Jam met her eyes with an inquiring expression, Aly just drew him in for a kiss that was almost rough while she aligned them with her other hand. He could feel her hot and needy, and it made his body tremble again; only this time, it was something entirely different from when he had gotten here.
She wrapped her legs around him, and he reached around her back, cupping her cute ass in his hands before pulling her close and drowning himself in her in the same instant. He actually had to pause for a moment, feeling overwhelmed with need and lust.
“Hell no,” she just whispered and then started to move against him, not giving him a break to collect himself. Her kisses were hot and heavy, leaving him breathless as she sucked his lower lip in before sweeping her tongue into his mouth, pulling herself closer to him, using her legs to urge him to move.
“Aly,” he gasped.
“Harder,” she said in return, and he knew his fingertips were already bruising her hips, but he still followed her order, taking her faster, rougher, until he was soaring high, brought there by her moans, her whimpers, and pleas. “Yes, Jam, fuck me just like that,” she mumbled, and he couldn’t stop it, coming deep inside of her. He knew she hadn’t come yet, and once he regained his wits, he pulled his shirt off, cleaning her up before replacing his shirt with his tongue, positioning her legs over his shoulders.
He licked her clit, hearing her nails scratch over the metal as she tried to find something to grasp.
Eventually, her hands found their way into his hair and he pulled her closer, licking her harder. He could feel her heels digging into his back, and it was obvious that while being half-crazy with lust, she still tried not to hurt him. He just knew that she held back.
“You can’t hurt me, Aly.”
“Lick,” Aly ordered, and he had to laugh at her husky tone, getting serious again, though, the moment he lowered his lips back to her. “I’m so close,” she whispered, and he slipped two fingers into her raising the intensity. He knew how close she was, he could almost feel it, and then she came apart under his hands, calling out his name. He drew out her orgasm, and then he stood again, looking at the woman who owned his heart. Her dark waves spilled over the red paint, her white blouse, now gray with grime, giving way to tanned skin and a black bra that supported but did not hide her rosy nipples. Her skirt was high on her hips, and she looked up at him with her eyes shining.
God, Jam could never thank heaven enough for having given him this woman.
Aly never wanted to move again. This definitely was a lucky coincidence that she had seen Jam’s car out front while being on the way to talk to some people at a bank. She had been dressed up, but without needing to talk to him, she could guess what he was doing there. Not thinking long, she had lost her panties, opened her blouse, and walked into the junkyard.
“Back,” an older guy only told her, pointing a certain way, but it wouldn’t have been necessary. She could hear the music and the destruction.
She had walked there and then … she’d say the rest would go down in history.
Pulling her skirt down and trying to rearrange her clothes at least a little, she
watched the angry, dirty, yet in her eyes perfect, man in front of her.
“I ruined your blouse,” he whispered while buttoning his jeans and tying the jumpsuit around his hips. God, he was sexy all dust-covered and sweaty. She never had been into sweaty guys, but seeing Jam like that … man, a woman quickly could get weak. She drew him close by his belt, making sure he was between her legs again.
“Hey,” she said over the music, and he groaned, leaving her to silence the air around them, then he took the spot again that she had assigned him. “I think we ruined my blouse.” She laughed and then reached out to brush her hand through his hair, resting her forehead against his.
“Alessia,” he breathed and then pulled her close to hug her gently. The way he was holding her was such contrast to his touches just moments ago.
“Feel better?” she asked, her lips moving against the skin of his shoulder as she spoke.
“So much,” he confessed. “I can’t believe you are here. I thought my exhausted mind conjured you up because there’s nothing more healing for me than you.”
She gently let her fingertips glide up and down his back, and she could feel his muscles react to every little touch. “You need help, Jam,” she mumbled and held her breath as she expected a huge fight to come.
“I know,” he surprised her by saying, and she had to pull back to look at him. He meant it. Oh, dear God, he meant it! She wanted to sob in relief and swallowed a few times before nodding.
“Good. Jam, I’m so happy you see it that way.”
He gave her the smallest of smiles. “I’ll find someone once we have our son back. I’d love to move up there with you, and I want to have a life with you, Aly. I’ve never wanted anything more. Just be patient with me,” he pleaded, and she knew she could do that. After all, he had been patient with her for a decade and more.
“Jam, I have news,” Aly burst out. She had been ready to tell him right away, but somehow, other things had been more important.
“Good news, the way your eyes shine.” He laughed, and she nodded.
“I got the papers signed.”
The silence that followed her statement wasn’t at all what Aly had expected. “Which papers?” he finally asked, and she grinned.
“The ones stating that Collene hands over all rights of Alessandro to you.”
The disbelief on his face made a giggle explode in her chest. Man, she was so happy they had managed that hard part already.
“You’re lying, right?” Jam asked, and she shook her head.
“I mean it. All we need now is something to use against her. I need you to be patient, okay? Just a few more days. Jamison, can you promise me you’ll keep it together for that long?” She wouldn’t lie; last night had scared her like nothing else.
“I’m okay. I come here when I feel I can’t go on. Trust me. It always helps me. Nothing’s more liberating than ruining something else when you have been ruined.” He started to grin then, and she could almost hear his next comment before he made it. “That is, I think nothing’s more liberating than trashing a car and getting to take your woman on it afterward.”
She laughed and then kissed his lips quickly. If she lingered too long, they would most likely go another round.
“Tell me about Lesso.” Her voice broke at the end of the sentence, and she realized she needed to get a grip. Aly lowered her eyes, letting her fingers go over his abs and then his chest. She had missed him so much.
“Did you think about what all this means to Alessandro? What it might do to him?” Jam asked, and she shrugged. Of course, she had thought about that, but then it was too late now to change anything.
“I know they’ve told him by now I’m not his mother. I don’t know if he understands it or not, but Jam, did he give you the impression he hated me? That he didn’t want to be back with me?” Jam couldn’t meet her eyes, and her heart stuttered in her chest. If her son would refuse her, this was all for nothing in the end. “Oh God, Jam, don’t start lying now. I’ve been lied to enough, and so have you. Let’s be adult about this,” she pleaded even though she didn’t want to be.
“He asks for you every single second we’re together. Every. Damn. Time. It kills me. But that’s not what worries me. What if he starts hating you, hating us both, down the road? You pretended to be his mother,” Jam remarked, and she gritted her teeth.
“I am his mother,” she protested, walking away from Jam. She just needed to be out of reach.
“I know, but Aly, you need to consider the possibility.” God, his serious moods got him thinking too much. She hated it. With everything they had to think about right now, the future beyond adopting her boy wasn’t exactly on her radar.
“I’m not sure I can. How about we cross that bridge once we get there?” She wanted to know, and Jam reached out for her, but she dodged his hand.
“Don’t, Alessia Rhyme. We’re in this together, and while I might not exactly act like it, I know it. Don’t lock me out. Let me hold you. I know it’ll ease your pain,” he whispered, and she knew he was right. Just as he had told her last night, she too had the feeling they could conquer the world only when they were together.
With a nod, she went into his arms and then leaned into him. She didn’t mind that she’d have to shower in that shabby motel room of hers. She didn’t mind that they stood in a junkyard. And most of all, she didn’t mind that for a few seconds, her world again shrank down only to them, making her envision a time when things would be perfectly fine.
Four days. That was how long Aly was confined to a run-down motel room without any chance of getting out or helping Jam. He called her almost daily, gave her updates on her son, yet she couldn’t get any closer to them because they still had nothing to make the Karmisons sign. Collene wasn’t around, which was the best they could wish for, yet it had made Shannon realize they needed someone else to sign the papers, preferably Thea.
It was crazy that they hadn’t seen Collene’s absence as a problem back then, yet there had been so much to think about; no wonder they had overlooked that ‘little problem.’
She was going crazy. TV did nothing to ease her mind and taking the car to aimlessly drive around just made it worse. She never had been without a purpose and while there was an endgame and a goal she was working toward, she still was the one who had to sit back instead of taking action.
Checking her watch, Aly realized Jam was just about to go see Alessandro. How she wished she could be there, too. She wanted to hug her boy and assure him that she was still his mother, no matter what people said.
To her utter relief, Jam had collected himself again, taking charge of his own life instead of letting his doubts win. But that meant, too, that he was getting restless because he also had to sit back and wait, letting worries take over as he had nothing else to occupy his time with. With him being at the Karmison’s beck and call, he couldn’t really take on jobs, either, leaving his hands idle.
Aly had spoken to the two officers in town who were on their side, just to ease her mind, but since they also had to fly under the radar, they couldn’t offer anything new. One of them said they saw Alessandro around town and was happy he looked fine. The way she got it, he had lost weight, though, and it made Aly worry. She knew he wouldn’t eat if things bothered him, but the Karmisons didn’t know that.
She considered talking to Thea again, maybe make an offer, and tell the woman she could see Alessandro regularly if only he could live with her, but then she remembered Thea still belonged to an abusive family that made you obedient one way or the other.
There was also the fact Thea’s husband seemed to be suspiciously absent. Jam hadn’t seen him around once, and while he was glad about that, Aly started to consider that a bad sign, too. Then again, she was locked away for now and had too much time to go over the facts again and again. Suddenly, finding a judge to help them seemed as if it had been the smallest of their worries.
Her phone rang, and she jumped, surprised.
“Phil,
hey! Are you ready to go home?” Aly smiled, knowing it was just a matter of days now that Phil would return to Sunrow.
“Aly,” Phil just replied, and Aly already knew something had happened. She wasn’t sure she could take any bad news, but at least something was moving.
“Tell me,” she demanded and then nearly crushed her phone when her best friend did.
Jam watched his son draw a picture of what Lesso considered a racecar. Jam would call it a truck with too small wheels, but he didn’t say that.
The boy was in a surprisingly good mood and that was all that mattered to his father. Jam leaned back, watching. They were in one of the Karmison’s sitting rooms—a wide, open space with a fireplace to his left. It was so big Alessandro would be able to stand inside it with no trouble at all. A seating group in the middle dominated the rest of the room. While the whole area held cream-colored tones, the furniture was kept dark, making it contrast perfectly with the walls and the tiled floors. The windows were framed by red velvet curtains the color of Bordeaux. It was an elegant room, opening up to the terrace and the huge gardens. Thea had opened the doors to get the stuffy air out of the room, and Jam didn’t mind. It was a nice summer day with a light breeze going. There was no doubt that back in Aly’s house this would have been a cause to hang out at the beach all day.
“Do you want it green or blue, Dad?” Alessandro asked, and Jam focused back on him, picking up the green pencil.
“Green,” he decided, and Lesso nodded.
“Wanna help me color it?” he asked, and Jam leaned in.
“Oh, my … what a sight!”
Jam’s insides went ice cold. He had hoped to never hear that voice again, yet while not having seen Collene for years, he felt her harsh tones crawl up his skin, making him want to calm her down, to satisfy her need for control. Old habits clearly died hard.
