Finding Amy

by Carol Steward

  Sam went to work, hoping the time apart would be good for both of them. They needed time away from one another, and he needed to remind himself of the real world, which included finding a way to link Barclay to the Valenti murder. He’d stopped in to visit with an informant on the way to the office. As usual, Rodney didn’t answer the door right away.

  “You ought to know better by now, Rodney,” Sam muttered. He knocked again, raising his voice this time. “I know you’re not even awake yet, let alone out of the house.” He waited. Finally, the door opened. “Morning,” Sam said to the man with the dreadlocks and scruffy beard.

  Rodney’s eyes opened wide. “Oh man, I already told your partner that I didn’t know the doctor.”

  “Which partner came to visit?” Sam had only told one person about his suspicions. If Rodney guessed incorrectly, Sam would know he was using again.

  “You know, that tall dude. Sully, I think it was.”

  “Fine, I’ll talk to him about Valenti. But I’m here to ask about someone else. You have a minute?”

  The guy looked outside and motioned Sam into the kitchen. “This is a little early to stop in, Detective. You haven’t been around much lately. What’s going on?”

  Sam took a sip of his take-out coffee and sat down across the table from Rodney. “I’ve had some personal issues to deal with.” He pulled Deanne’s picture from his pocket. “You seen her before?”

  “Once or twice.” He looked at Sam from under his blond dreads.

  Sam exhaled loudly, noting the tidy but definitely low-budget accommodations Rodney was setting up. Looked like he was staying clean, despite working around a highly disreputable crowd at the Longhorn Saloon. It probably hadn’t changed considerably from the cowboy bar of the early pioneer days.

  “What does she do?”

  Rodney rubbed his shoulder. “I seen her in the kitchen now and then, talking with Campy. She buys an ounce or so of heroin every other month or so, something about the doctors and red tape. She needs pain medicine. Those are some nasty scars she has. Cut her some slack.”

  “Do you happen to know if she’s seeing anyone in particular?”

  “Naw, she’s pretty much a loner, with those scars and all.”

  Sam had to admire the fact that Jessica hadn’t let the same prejudices stop her from trusting Deanne. But for an instant, he selfishly wished she had been just a little less trusting. They wouldn’t be searching for Amy if Jessica trusted her instincts. “I noticed that she moved here from out of state. Any chance she’s done any transporting?”

  Sam was playing a long shot, but if she had out-of-state connections, he wanted to know just who they were dealing with.

  Rodney looked at her picture again. “She may look rough now, but no, I don’t think she has what it takes to be a mule.”

  Sam stood up and headed toward the door. “Find out for me. You know my number.”

  He spent the day working on his cases with Sully, then headed toward his parents’ house, anxious to see Jessica.

  “I thought you might like to get out,” he said when he saw her. “I need to pick up a few clean clothes and get my keyboard so I can start practicing for Adam and Kate’s wedding, not to mention the praise music for church next week. We could go out to eat or fix dinner at my place.”

  “Sounds interesting. When do you practice with your team?”

  Sam wanted to smile but didn’t. It was becoming very clear that Jessica hadn’t spent much time in contemporary churches. “Praise Team meet every Wednesday.”

  She frowned. “What if we’re not here Wednesday?”

  She sounded so certain that they’d be gone, he wondered if she’d heard something that he hadn’t. “If I’m not here, they’ll continue without the keyboard. Is there a change with the search?”

  Her smile disappeared and she shook her head in silence. “What about the wedding? Do they have a backup in case you can’t make it?”

  Sam sensed Jessica felt some change was near and he didn’t want to discourage her. “We’re all going to make it. I want you and Amy to come with me. And I’m sure Adam and Kate would love to have you there. Right now we all need to see the good guys win.” Sam struggled to keep his distance after her comment earlier in the week. It never would have occurred to him that she thought he was trying to replace God in her life, especially a woman that he was beginning to consider spending the rest of his life with. Jessica Mathers continuously caught him by surprise. Though she denied needing him, he knew better. He felt the way she hugged him, that “don’t ever let go” intensity. And he was beginning to realize just how much that meant to him as well.

  “Sam?” Jessica stepped closer. “What’s wrong?”

  “Wrong?” What made her think something was wrong?

  “You mentioned the wedding, and now you’re staring at me as if something’s wrong.”

  He shook his head. “Nothing’s wrong.”

  “Then why are you clear over there?”

  He looked at the distance between them and shrugged. “I thought you wanted some space.”

  She blushed. “Sorry. I’ve been a little off-kilter this week. I know I’ve been confusing.”

  “To borrow one of your favorite phrases, ‘now that’s an understatement.’ You feeling any better?”

  She nodded. “A little, all things considered. What I’m trying to say is yes, I’d like to run errands with you tonight. But I don’t want to go out to eat, if you honestly don’t mind.” She hesitated. “I can’t take any more sympathy right now. I know everyone means well, but…”

  “You don’t have to explain to me. I’d just as soon have the time alone with you.”

  “Let me get a few things.”

  “You won’t need anything.”

  She looked at him oddly. “I…need to take my purse, at least. And the cell phone.”

  “Okay. I’m going to tell Mom and Dad where we’re going. Get whatever you need.”

  While they were driving across town, Jessica’s parents called to see if they’d heard anything, bringing tears to Jessica’s eyes. “No, Mom, you wouldn’t be able to do anything if you were here. Trust me, Sam and his family are taking very good care of me, and Sam’s a detective.” He saw a smile lift the corners of her full lips. “Yeah, same one.”

  Sam wondered if she’d figured out that his father also had law enforcement connections. If she did, she didn’t mention it. He had spent a lot of time lately thinking about her family. She didn’t seem very close to them, but then, she mentioned that they had spent a long period of time here after her accident and again this past summer. Were they still working through childhood rebellion issues, or were they past that now?

  Sam pulled to a stop to enter the code to the gated community where his house was located. He saw Jessica’s mouth drop open, and she quickly finished her conversation and clicked the phone off.

  “Mom and Dad want to come,” she told Sam. “I told them there’s nothing they can do, but that doesn’t matter to them.”

  He noticed she hadn’t mentioned they were becoming personally involved. “Have you told them we’re sort of…well, not really, but…”

  “Dating? No, I—” She looked at his modest house and smiled. “This house looks just like your type.”

  Laughing, he pulled into his driveway, opening the garage door with a push of the button. He didn’t want anyone noticing that he was home. He wanted them to have some peace and quiet. “Is that a compliment?”

  “Of course it is,” she said with a laugh. “I really like this southwestern adobe style. It reminds me of Italy.”

  Sam closed the door and they were encased in darkness. “So what did you tell your parents? Hopefully you know I wouldn’t insult you by considering this actual dating. One day, I’ll do it properly.”

  “They asked if you’re the same Sam that was on my case after the accident. I said yes. I didn’t know quite how to explain what’s happening between us. One disastrous date usually doesn’t le
ad to the kind of relationship we have.”

  “Which is?”

  Jessica shrugged. “My brain tells me not to commit to anything right now, but sometimes I think it’s a little late. My heart never has been very patient, and last time, it was a huge mistake.”

  Sam pressed his lips to hers. “I’d like to say I’m a patient man, but I promised I’d never lie to you. Then again, I certainly don’t want to be considered another mistake. I hope you’ll realize how much I care about your physical, spiritual and emotional well-being, Jessica. I know there’s a lot on your mind right now. Just knowing I’m also on your mind is enough for now.” He helped her out of the truck and led her into the house. “Make yourself comfortable.”

  Jessica looked around and smiled. “This is really nice, Sam. Did you decorate, or did your mom?”

  “I had a little help, but I did a lot of it myself.” He opened the refrigerator and set a bag of groceries inside. “Pork chops or steak?”

  “You went shopping?” Jessica stepped into the rustic-looking kitchen and leaned against the counter. She ran her hand across the marble countertop in silence.

  “No. Mom went shopping and I begged a few groceries off of her. She was happy to contribute to the cause.” Sam tried to contain his smile, but when she burst out laughing, he gave up.

  “I’m sure she’s leaps and bounds ahead of us in planning.”

  “She’s not terribly subtle, is she.”

  Jessica blushed again. “No, but she means well. I guess what surprises me is Max. He seems so gruff at times, and at others, he’s all heart. He told me that when he met your mom it was love at first sight.”

  “That’s encouraging, isn’t it?” Sam hadn’t considered that he and his father were much alike, but as he thought about it now, Sam realized that the older he got, the more he understood his dad. Sometimes, as in this issue with Barclay, he wished he didn’t understand quite so well.

  “Encouraging? How do you mean?”

  Sam led her outside to the backyard, which overlooked the Garden of the Gods and Colorado Springs. “Trusting your heart. That sometimes, we have to listen to our instincts.”

  “That’s easier said than done,” she said, wandering to the rock waterfall. She stared at it, holding herself tight. “I think I’m on the right track, and then reality hits again.”

  “Such as?” Sam liked seeing her here, and wondered how she’d feel about living in a modest detective’s home on Goldmine Lane overlooking the beautiful front range of Colorado.

  “You’d laugh,” she said, glancing at him over her shoulder.

  “I won’t laugh.” He stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her. “What is your instinct telling you?”

  “I was reading a book your mother gave me today and I felt this incredible peace. Like God had taken the worry of Amy’s disappearance off my shoulders. I saw Deanne.”

  “You saw her?”

  “Probably my imagination conjuring things up while I was napping. She was driving back here.”

  Sam closed his eyes, willing himself to keep quiet. She didn’t need a dose of reality right now. “I hope you’re right.”

  Jessica turned her head to meet his and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for taking me to church, Sam. It was so different from when I was young. It’s almost like I don’t need to worry anymore, that God will bring her home.”

  “Miracles do happen, Jessica, but I don’t think we should stop looking yet.”

  “I know. All week long I’ve been finding so many signs of comfort. One verse said, ‘When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you; your troubles will not overwhelm you.’ Am I grasping at straws, Sam, or doesn’t that mean that God is here, lifting my burdens?”

  Sam felt at odds with her question. He wanted to encourage her to trust God but worried that she would ignore reality. “Yes, it does, but…”

  She took a step and turned to face him. “But what?”

  “We can’t use God as a crutch, Jessica.” How could he relate his feelings to her? “For example, we all sin, there’s no doubt about that, but what I mean is…” He took a deep breath and let it out. “We shouldn’t deliberately sin, knowing that God will forgive us.”

  She looked confused. “Not worrying is sin?”

  “No, that was just an example. I’m glad you’re feeling better, but it may be that your hormones are leveling out, or the anesthesia is having less effect on your system, or—”

  She laughed. “So you think it was simply a chemical reaction that made me overreact, and God had nothing to do with easing my tension?”

  “I didn’t mean that at all. You have every right to be upset, and you’re dealing with it very well.” Sam felt as if he was getting himself into deep water and prayed that God would help clear the air between him and Jessica. “I hope you’re right, that Deanne’s on her way back here, but from my professional experience, I’d say it’s not likely that she’d come back here.” Sam watched the evening breeze blow her hair off her shoulders. “I have all the faith in eternity, and believe beyond any shadow of a doubt that God is taking care of Amy. But I’m not going to sit and wait for them to get here. If we get a lead, I’m going to do everything within my power to find them. That doesn’t mean I don’t believe God isn’t there with me every step of the way.”

  She looked at him with moist eyes. “I guess that’s why God gave you to me right now, to keep me from being confused and messing everything up.”

  “And why’d He give you to me, then?”

  She pressed her lips to his, then pulled away. “He’s testing your patience.”

  “That He is.” Sam kissed her again, more deeply, then led her into the house to fix dinner.

  Jessica opened the bag of salad greens and rinsed them, then cleaned the potatoes and put them into the microwave. Throughout the evening, Sam worried that Jessica had misunderstood his comments about accepting Christ into her life.

  After dinner and dishes Jessica rested on the sofa while Sam organized the music and played through each song. His mind drifted back to Jessica’s questions about him not being around for practice or church this week. He watched her sleeping peacefully, a rare occurrence since her surgery, despite the medicine that was supposed to make her sleepy. He hated to wake her, but it was nearly midnight and he needed to get some sleep, too.

  His cell phone rang, making them both jump. He answered and listened anxiously.

  By the time Becky finished giving him details, Jessica was fully alert. “Was that Becky?”

  He nodded. “They’ve found Deanne’s car.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  “And Amy?” Jessica said in barely a whisper. “Did they find her?”

  Sam shook his head. “Not yet, but this is a start. They want you to identify some of Amy’s belongings.”

  Her heart stopped. “She’s not—”

  “No.” Sam took hold of her arms and pulled her close. “No, there’s no sign of them. Right now, they think Deanne abandoned the car. Either it wasn’t working, or she heard the Amber Alert and thought she was less likely to be recognized without her car. They didn’t take much with them, apparently. And her car wasn’t in good shape to start with.”

  Jessica felt the dizziness envelop her and she took a deep breath. “Where is it?”

  “Pagosa Springs, in southwestern Colorado. I’m going to call Dad, see if he can book a flight as soon as possible. That’s probably going to be tomorrow morning. Becky will be going, too. I’ll pack a few things and then we’ll go get your bag ready.”

  She didn’t tell him that she didn’t usually fly on small aircraft. Claustrophobia was nothing to be embarrassed about, but all things considered, she had to put her own fears aside for Amy’s sake.

  From the sound of her tossing and turning, Jessica hadn’t slept all night. He’d learned to sleep with his door open so he could listen for her. She in turn had found his father’s oil can and fixed the squeaking door, forcing himself to sleep lighter
in order to keep watch on her.

  At dawn, they drove to the airport with Becky and caught a flight to Durango. As soon as they boarded the plane, Sam noticed Jessica’s shoulders tense and he watched her take long deep breaths. Despite her efforts, soon she was almost panting.

  “Are you okay?”

  She didn’t look at him, just kept her nose to the window and nodded quickly. She refused to buckle her seat belt until the last minute, and didn’t make a move to converse with him or Becky from takeoff to landing forty-five minutes later. It wasn’t until she was again outside that he realized the problem. She was claustrophobic, and the puddle-jumper flight they’d taken only held about a dozen passengers, so it wasn’t too roomy.

  “You should have said something, Jessica.”

  “I did what needed to be done. I’m fine now,” she said.

  The sheriff met them at the airport and took them directly to Deanne’s car, which had been impounded in the city lot.

  “Could you show us where you actually found the car?” asked Sam.

  “Sure. Take a look at the car, then we’ll head up the mountain.” He mentioned that the doors were locked when they found it. “It looks like she was headed west on Highway 160 over Wolf Creek Pass.” He handed Becky a stack of photographs of the outside and inside of the car and skid marks. “We can have a mechanic look at it and see if she had car trouble. She and a child caught a ride into town with a delivery truck. He dropped them off at the first service station, but the trucker became suspicious when the woman never went inside to make arrangements. We have an officer checking nearby hotels and buses to see if she’s been there.”

  Sam knelt down and felt under the car for a spare key holder. “Do you know where we can reach the driver who brought her into town?”

  “That info is in here. He heard the Amber Alert about an hour down the road and called me.” The sheriff gave Becky a copy of the file. “I’ve contacted a rental company to send a car over for you.”

  “Thanks,” Sam said, coming up dry in his search for the key.