Falling Forward

by Dawn Robertson

  “I’m going to call this attorney in the morning and get you in with him. We’ll take turns watching the girls, between Violet and I, you’ll have more than enough time to do everything you need to. I found the top divorce attorney in the area, and I don’t care what it costs.” I hold her even tighter, as she starts to wipe the tears from her face.

  “We’ll find you and the girls someplace to live in the meantime. There are tons of rentals along the square right here. That will be step two, to make sure they have a normal life now that you are all free.” She pulls away and looks at me. A tear stained face with the remittance of makeup from hours ago. She looks rough, but I’m sure that everything she’s dealt with is enough to kill a person’s soul.

  “Why are you doing this for me?” Her question takes me off guard.

  “Because that is what family does,” I say, giving her a kiss on her forehead. “You should try and get some sleep. It’s late, and it’s going to be a long couple days.”

  “I don’t think I’m going to be doing much sleeping tonight,” she adds, as I make my way to the door.

  “I got some Ambien, want to take one? You’ll sleep like a baby.” I give her a wink, and look at the actual baby with a smile. These little girls are the spitting image of my sister. Long blonde hair, big bright blue eyes, and the high cheekbones our whole family has. They are all mini clones of Lucy. Thankfully too, because that Kent has one hell of a nose on him. God, I hate that fucker.

  “That would actually be pretty helpful.” I walk down the hall and into my bedroom, stopping at the nightstand to grab a pill and bring it back down the hall.

  “Here ya go, there are tons of bottles of water in the fridge. Once you take that, you have a good forty-five minutes before you’re tits up in bed,” I add as a warning. The shit really creeps up on you sometimes, especially if you haven’t had it before.

  Climbing into bed with Hunter, I cuddle as close to him as my body will allow. Just then, I hear the door I just closed start to creep open. Turning around, I see Liam’s shadow entering the room. He’s trying his best to come in quietly, but I am sure he could hear Lucy and I when he came in.

  ‘You guys are still up?” he asks.

  “Barely,” I say collapsing against the bed. “Didn’t you get my texts?” I ask him.

  “My phone died and someone stole my charger out of my office. It’s been dead for a couple hours.

  “Oh, well why don’t you climb in bed and we will fill you in about our house guests, and the drama that has transpired over the past couple hours.”

  The morning comes quick and our kitchen is full of loud children by the time we all roll our lazy asses out of bed. Without a thought, all three of us walk downstairs to the kitchen to grab something to eat before Liam and Hunter have to start getting ready to head out to work. I admire their work ethic, because even knowing they could quit their jobs tomorrow neither have any desire to do it.

  I roll into the kitchen, with Hunter directly behind me saying good morning to Lucy and her girls.

  “Auntie Luna!” They all cheer in sync with big smiles on their faces, as they chow down on the Captain Crunch Violet and I grabbed at the grocery store.

  Liam rounds the corner, and Lucy looks at me strangely as she exchanges a hello with him.

  “Liam, this is my older sister Lucy. Lucy… this is Liam, my boyfriend.” She cocks her head to the side, and looks right past me at Hunter.

  “I thought… he was your boyfriend?” Her face is absolutely priceless.

  “We both are,” Hunter says, searching in the fridge and pulling out a gallon of milk before pouring a bowl of children’s cereal for himself.

  “So, wait…” Lucy says, looking back and forth, and pointing at the two of them separately.

  “Hunter… Liam… Boyfriend One… Boyfriend Two. One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish,” I say, laughing as Violet rounds the corner saying good morning to both of the guys.

  “Did you know about this?” She cocks her head to the side, asking Violet about my love life. But the entire situation is downright fucking hysterical. I’m really enjoying every last second of it though, while trying to keep it G rated because of the children in the room.

  “These two? It’s been going on for months. Girrrrl! You know you’d do it too if you could!” We both let out a laugh.

  “So, how do you two feel about all this? How does it work? Who is number one and number two? I have questions!” Lucy says.

  “How about we save those questions for after bedtime tonight, or something?” I say with my face starting to redden. I mean, I’m not embarrassed, but thinking about these little girls looking at me in a strange way is not the way I want to portray myself to them. Especially Ava, she is old enough to form her own conclusions at her age.

  “Well, I’m not letting you off the hook on this one. I got questions,” Lucy says, picking up Libby from her seat at the table and cleaning up the massive mess the two-year-old left behind.

  “Later,” I wink at her.

  Days flew by in a flurry of lawyer appointments, threatening phone calls from Kent and his family attorney, showing appointments–trying to find Lucy someplace big enough for her and the girls where Kent won’t know where they are, and two very long shifts at the Youth Center. We were starting to plan for the annual Halloween fundraiser here in Savannah. I find myself so busy I don’t know whether I am coming or going. Violet, Hunter, and Liam have been so helpful… well, Liam not so much with his heavy work load lately, but the fact that he watched the girls last night when Violet and I brought Lucy to look at two houses was more than enough.

  We have it narrowed down to a townhouse that is a three-minute walk to the other side of Columbia Square. I would feel better having her that close to us for the time being. Once this is all said and done, I will make sure she finds someplace that she wants to stay forever, if that is in Savannah or where ever she would like to go and have her happily ever after.

  Looking in the mirror, I finish putting on my makeup and getting dolled up for the girl’s night. Violet and I begged Lucy to come with us, but it wasn’t until Liam and Hunter offered to get the girls dinner and to bed that she agreed. I also don’t think she plans on leaving all three of them alone with Liam again. Something about too much sugar and taking advantage of him. I couldn't help but laugh because it makes me eager for the future. Between these two men the past couple days, I know they would both make excellent fathers.

  “I’d really like to talk for a couple minutes if that is okay?” Lucy peeks her head in the bathroom door. Her hair is down for the first time since she got here, curled at the ends with some light makeup. Her lips are pink with a gloss, and she is wearing one of Violet’s long sun dresses.

  “Of course, what’s up?” I ask.

  “A lot has happened. I haven’t always been nice to you, and I feel bad about it,” Lucy says, I try to cut her off but she holds up her hands and stops me. “Just let me finish because I’ve needed to say this for a while. I wasn’t good to you, even when you were little. It started because you were the annoying little sister, we had such an age gap and it’s just how teenagers are. But, it wasn't right. Then with everything Kent put me though, it just made me a bad person. I didn’t have the least bit of happiness in my life.” She lets out a sigh.

  “Shit, I said I wouldn’t cry,” she says, and I hand her a tissue to dab at her makeup before it starts to run.

  “Lucy, it’s okay. We’ve both moved on from our childhood, and I don’t blame you for your own actions when it comes to how you’ve dealt with things over the years. I’m at peace with it all, and I really would like you to be as well. What do I need to do to give you that peace of mind?” I mean it too. I wish I could take away her pain, so seeing that she is still struggling with this hurts me. I know Rome isn’t going to be re-built for her in a few days, but if there is anything that I can do to make her life better, I will.

  “Just forgive me.”

  “L
ucy. I forgive you. I forgave you days ago. I’ll always be here for you and the girls.” I smile and blot my own eyeliner, praying it isn’t going to run.

  “You know, you have bad timing with this chat. Now I am going to have to fix my makeup,” I laugh and give Lucy shit.

  “Are you bitches ready yet, or what? Violet says, busting into my bathroom.

  “Do you just let yourself in these days?” I laugh, but it’s true. You wouldn’t think that Violet was living in the studio apartment on the first floor. You would think she lives in my damn house. I didn’t think when I bought this big old place it would actually end up packed with people.

  “This is my house too lady!” Violet gives it back to me, as I put on my lipstick and the finishing touches on my makeup. It’s the first time in ages that I’ve worn a full face, eyeliner, lipstick, the whole nine yards. I like to think I look quite sexy if you ask me.

  “We have to hit the road. We are gonna be late,” Lucy chimes in. “We’re supposed to be at Churchill’s in twenty minutes. We won’t make it if we don’t leave soon.” Churchill’s Gastropub & Taphouse is the first stop for girl’s night. From there we are supposed to hit up Club One for the drag show, and the end the night on River Street, where there is a little night festival with live music for the night. Friday and Saturday nights in the summer are amazing in Savannah. There is always something to do. Whether it’s an art festival or live music, even farmers markets.

  I genuinely picked the right place to take my life. I couldn’t be happier.

  “Shit!” I yell, as the heel on my shoe snaps and down I go. The sidewalk doesn’t catch me well.

  “What are youuuuuuu doing?” Violet yells from the front of the pack walking down the sidewalk.

  “Bitch down! Bitch down!” Lucy laughs as she lends me a hand to get up from the sidewalk where I still sit, as they all take turns making fun of me.

  “I can't do it, Captain!” I yell, trying to get my ass up off the sidewalk with only the help of Lucy.

  “I’m gonna need backup,” Lucy shouts, trying to pick me up. It’s no use, I’m complete dead weight at this point. I’m surprised I’m still standing upright. Whoever thought walking home would be a good idea, is full of shit!

  “Jesus, you’re heavy!” Violet laughs. I finally get up onto my feet, but walking in these heels is no longer an option. The other three girls with us can’t stop laughing at the scene taking place. You might as well call us Larry, Moe, and Curly.

  “My shoe!” I yell with my drunken tone. Undoing the strap, it falls to the sidewalk and I just leave it there. “Fuck that shoe! Traitor!” I point at the lone white pump laying alone on the sidewalk.

  “Someone press the crosswalk button,” Lucy says, while she helps me stand so I can take the second shoe off. I can’t say I ever thought I would be walking around Savannah barefoot. It probably isn’t the best idea, but it’s the only option I have right now. The crosswalk signal gives us the little walking guy, and we start crossing the street.

  Just then, a taxi cab starts speeding in our direction, screeching to a stop at the red traffic light. Somewhere along the line, I decide that it would be a good idea to run and throw myself in front of said taxi cab.

  “STOOOPPPPPPPPPP!” I scream with my hands out straight in front of my body, like a traffic cop. “YOU HAVE TO STOP! DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A RED LIGHT MEANS?” I start to berate the cab driver who really has done nothing wrong.

  “WE HAVE THE LITTLE WALKY GUY! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?!” I keep yelling because in my mind, all of our lives just flashed in front of my eyes. The window to the cab is down and the driver is silent, just listening to what I am yelling, taking it all in. It isn’t until I am finished and trip over my own feet trying to walk away, that the large black man behind the steering wheel opens his mouth and begins to laugh hysterically at my own misfortune. Not a tooth in sight.

  I start cracking up at myself. Did this really just happen?

  The girls are all safely on the sidewalk, just watching the altercation with tears in their eyes from laughing so hard.

  “We almost DIED!” I say, when I make it across the road.

  “I’m pretty sure our life was never in danger, but that was the best thing that has happened all night,” Tina, one of the hairdressers we are out with says.

  “Y’all are a hoot! We gotta do this again!” Lindsey says

  Chapter 13

  Nothing in Life is Luck

  If there is something I’ve always known, it is that luck doesn’t mean anything. There is no such thing as having good luck and my life has been the biggest example of that. Yes, I may have had some lucky things happen to me in my life, but all the bad … where does that come from? I don’t think it’s about a game of chance, I think that our lives are pre-determined when we are born. Fate, if you will.

  Watching everything that Lucy is going through with Kent has really put me on edge. He’s been nasty, threatening, and trying to do everything that he can to get Lucy and the girls back to Atlanta. His family lawyer has done the same, thankfully the divorce attorney I hired is no damn joke. It took a couple weeks, but we’ve been able to secure a protective order for Lucy. Yes, it’s gotten that bad.

  New phone, new phone number, new car but still no place for her to live yet, because she doesn’t feel safe on her own, which doesn’t bother me by any means. The house is full, but it doesn’t bother me either. I may be looking forward to a day where I can walk around naked again, but whatever. A month or two with Lucy here isn’t going to kill me.

  But, today we are all sitting on edge. Lucy, Violet, the guys, everyone… because we all know that today Kent is going to be served with his official divorce papers, and he is going to blow his top. He’s one of those controlling fuckers who will go off the rails. Now that he can’t call Lucy, he has taken to harassing Violet and myself via text message. Every time someone or something pisses him off, it’s us that he comes after. It’s made me sick to my stomach. The stress is killing my nerves to the point where I’ve been throwing up almost on a daily basis. Which also sucks balls.

  I know that we are starting to make it to the end of the drama with Kent, though. Once everything is finished with court in a couple weeks, I hope we never have to see or hear his dumbass name ever again. But, we’ve all decided to go out to dinner tonight to celebrate. The guys, Lucy and the girls, Violet and a partridge in a pear tree. The girls have been begging for us to bring them to The Pirate House since they found out it existed. I could have killed Liam for telling them, too.

  On the other hand, I am excited because that pecan fried chicken was amazing, and I would literally give my left tit right now to have some. It really is a win-win. It’s just amazing to me to be able to have a real family dinner. It fills my heart to have everyone coming together so closely, just proving that no matter what happens in life, at the end of the day family is family. I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt not having my parents here with us though. They would be so happy to see all of us together as one big family. I really wish that it could have happened before it was too late for them to be a part of.

  There are days that I have a hard time with my relationship though. I feel like I really could use the wise words of my mother for the situations we find ourselves having to deal with sometimes. I get that not everyone in the world is going to be accepting of how we choose to live, but I never thought I would have to deal with hateful words of strangers. Savannah is such a melting pot of people and the residents who live here are pretty chill for the most part. It’s the tourist’s that come through and act like assholes. The drunk frat boys calling Hunter and Liam faggots for showing any kind of affection in public towards each other. It hurt my heart to even have to tackle that situation.

  Why would someone feel like it is okay to speak to a stranger in that way? I want to protect them both from these type of things, but there are times I’m not with them and they are out enjoying each other’s company. That is another thin
g I’ve had a bit of a hard time with. I always want to be involved, even though I get one-on-one time with the both of them whenever I want. It is a hint of jealousy which there really is no room for. I feel like a bratty child when the green-eyed monster comes over me.

  I know I won’t always feel this way, so I’ve been working on my own unreasonable emotions to make sure that I’m not the problem with our relationship. These men have brought out the most communication I’ve ever had in a relationship, though. Having the option to talk about my feelings always, without being told I am unreasonable or made to feel like I am trying to cause a problem, is freeing. I love them. I love these two men more than anything in the world. I would genuinely do anything for either of them, and it’s something new for me. I never knew what true love felt like until Liam and Hunter entered my life. It’s unconditional and perfect. I feel like we are all on the same page.

  My phone begins to ring with the caller ID alerting me the attorney is calling.

  “Hello?”

  “Miss Rockwell?” the stern man’s voice on the other end takes me off guard. Normally, it is the secretary that calls.

  “Yes,” I reply.

  “This is Michael Mitchell, I just wanted to give you an update on the Sheriff serving Mr. Taylor.”

  “Is there something wrong?” I ask instinctively. I always feel like phone calls from lawyers don’t typically end well.

  “He was a little irate. He did place a phone call to my office threatening me personally. I’ve notified the local police just as protocol, but I wanted to call you and give you a heads up regarding that. I don’t think he is a man that is stupid enough to act on it, so I don’t think you have much to worry about personally.” What the fuck does that even mean? Here, I’m gonna call you and get you all worked up but HEY! Things are going to be just fine. Don’t worry about it.