Time Will Tell

by M. Ullrich

  When Eva exited the bathroom, she noticed the room across the hallway was a bedroom. She peeked her head into the doorway and knew she had found Casey’s room. A framed picture of her parents sat on the bookcase, and a poster of one of her favorite art prints hung over the bed. Eva walked over to Casey’s vanity and took a closer look at some of the pictures stuck to the mirror. The photo strip they had taken together at the fair was right at the top mirror. Eva reached out and touched it as if it was an antique. At the bottom of the mirror, sitting on the edge of the vanity table, was the origami flower Eva had folded for Casey so many years ago. The petals were worn, the colors faded, but its shape remained. Eva picked it up and moved each petal in search of the penciled-on confession she had written.

  Eva’s heart ached when she looked in the mirror and saw the eyes of a pink hippo staring back at her. Casey had held on to everything from their time together. Being in Casey’s room felt like a time capsule. While Eva ran from her past, Casey surrounded herself with it. Saying good-bye was going to be impossible.

  * * *

  Casey pushed open the door to her apartment and let out a low groan as she dropped her bulky book bag on the floor the moment she stepped inside. “Every class I’m taking requires a textbook, a book for additional reading, and a reference book. I wish you were going to school to be a chiropractor because I’d be your first patient.” Casey stretched, sighing in satisfaction as her spine popped several times. “And probably your only patient because you’d have a terrible bedside manner.” Casey laughed at her own joke, but when Lizzy didn’t respond, Casey looked at her with concern. “Are you okay? You’re never quiet for this long.”

  Lizzy stood with her arms over her chest and a smug smile. She checked her nails casually before saying, “You have a visitor.”

  “Who?”

  “Let’s just say it’s someone who will probably spend the night, which means I’ll be staying with Peter tonight. If you need anything, call me.” Lizzy picked up her purse and left the apartment.

  Casey was still a little confused. The only overnight visitor she’d have was… “Eva?” she said quietly to herself. She rushed to her bedroom and gasped to find Eva seated at her vanity, origami lotus in her hands. “Hi.”

  Eva stood. “Hi. I’m sorry I just let myself in like this,” she said, holding up the flower. “Lizzy is really intimidating, so I hid in here after I went to the bathroom.”

  Casey covered her face. She could only imagine what Lizzy had said. “It’s fine. May I?” She pointed to the paper lotus in Eva’s hands and took it from her. She placed it back on the vanity where Eva had grabbed it from, at the same precise angle. “I get nervous when anyone touches it. Paper is so delicate sometimes, you know?” Eva just stared at her. She added in a whisper, “I’m afraid the pencil will rub off.”

  Eva smiled. “You saw my hidden message?”

  “I saw it the night you gave me the flower. I couldn’t believe you had finally figured out how to make one. I inspected every fold to see how you did it, and there it was.”

  “You never said anything.”

  “Life was complicated enough back then, Eva. I was convinced that talking about our feelings then would just make things harder. So I put together this grand plan in my head, to wait until I was independent enough to sweep you away and keep you safe. Worked out great, didn’t it?” Casey said snidely and looked at the lotus again. “I should’ve just told you. I should’ve made you a flower that said I love you too. I should’ve done a lot of things differently.”

  “That’s kind of why I’m here.”

  Casey studied the way Eva shuffled nervously from foot to foot. She already felt her heart surrender to forgiveness or inevitable pain. With Eva, no in between existed. Casey sat on her bed and motioned for Eva to join her. She grabbed Eva’s hand and asked, “What is it?”

  “I have a chance to fix things, and I’m going for it.”

  Casey was confused, and she knew it was written all over her face.

  “Like you said, a lot of things should’ve been done differently and I want to make things right—for you, me…for us.”

  Casey’s head was still lost, but her heart told her something big was happening. Eva’s words were more significant than they seemed. She looked into Eva’s eyes and felt it in her trembling fingers. Casey’s last heartstring snapped. “You’re leaving again, aren’t you?”

  Eva nodded and then dropped her head. “How do you always know what I’m thinking or what I’m about to say?”

  “I told you, we have an inexplicable connection. Despite everything we’ve been through, I believe we’re meant to be together.” Casey was struck by how the dim lighting in the room danced in Eva’s gathering tears. Her long lashes sparkled, and Casey saw the end in those highlights. “But I guess that’s not true, is it?”

  Eva gripped Casey’s hand tighter. “Not in this version of the story.”

  Casey was mad. She was mad at life, at the tears she didn’t want to cry, and at her heart for believing they could’ve had a happy ending. “At least you came to tell me you were leaving this time.”

  “I promised you I wouldn’t disappear again.”

  “But you’re still leaving. You’re still just going and leaving me behind. Knowing it’s coming doesn’t make it any better.”

  “I’m sorry, Casey.”

  “Do you plan on keeping in touch this time?” Casey said, wiping a tear from her chin.

  Eva hesitated before answering. “I can’t.”

  Casey laughed. “Of course you can’t. This is just great.” She pressed her fingertips into her temples.

  “This isn’t easy for me either,” Eva said.

  Casey rolled her eyes.

  “I got your letter, and I needed to see you to say good-bye and to tell you that I love you too. I’ll only ever love you. If I’m able to fix things, I believe you and I will find a way to one another again.” Eva took Casey’s hand and placed it against her chest. “You are the only one.”

  “How do you plan to fix things?”

  “I’d prefer to keep that to myself,” Eva said, her lips curling slightly at the corner.

  Casey bit the inside of her cheek. She felt foolish for believing such a damaged beauty could belong to her.

  “I should get going.”

  Casey shook off her stupor. “Wait,” she said, tugging at Eva’s hand to keep her from standing. “You’re not staying a little longer?” She looked pleadingly into Eva’s dark eyes. “Please stay the night.” Eva’s face reflected the war going on in her head. To be honest, Casey knew prolonging their good-bye only meant prolonging the pain, but there was no better balm for an aching heart than moments of tender love. “Please, give me one more good memory.”

  “I never was able to say no to you,” Eva said, reaching out to trace Casey’s cheek with her fingertips. Casey shut her eyes at the tender touch. Her fingertips continued down Casey’s face, tickling her sensitive lips and following a path down her throat. Eva’s index finger came to rest in the notch of Casey’s collarbone. “If someone else comes to love you, I hope they know how special you are. I hope they realize the beauty in your heart is always visible in your eyes, and that you manage to grow more gorgeous with every passing day.”

  Casey focused on Eva’s touch and the way her voice became raspy when she whispered. She sighed when Eva kissed the side of her neck. “Why couldn’t this be easy?”

  “Nothing worthwhile is ever easy.”

  Casey shook her head. “That’s not fair.”

  “We didn’t make the rules,” Eva said, sitting back away from Casey. “And we certainly can’t control anything.”

  Casey’s emotions were quickly slipping from her grasp. She wanted to say so much, do so much with Eva, but time wasn’t on her side. “I don’t know what you’re planning to do, and maybe it’s best that I don’t, but I need you to know—it’s always been you.” Casey wrapped her hand around the back of Eva’s neck and pulled
her in so their lips could meet. The taste of Eva’s mouth was bittersweet.

  “Where’s Lizzy?” Eva mumbled against Casey’s lips.

  “Gone for the night. She knew we’d want to be alone.”

  “We don’t have to—I don’t want you to think I just came here for this.” Eva motioned between them and the bed.

  Casey smiled and bit her bottom lip. She brought Eva’s hand to her chest, hoping she could feel the way her heart was beating rapidly. “I want you to touch every inch of me,” she said quietly. She wanted her entire body to be claimed by Eva. Casey’s breath caught at the new intensity she saw in Eva’s eyes. “I want to feel you inside me forever.”

  Casey gasped when Eva snaked her hands beneath the hem of Casey’s light sweater. She dug her nails into Casey’s flesh and pulled her forward. They sat hip to hip and crashed their mouths together for unrelenting, hungry kisses. Casey was overwhelmed with pain and pleasure as Eva bit into her bottom lip. Their passion was still so new, so unexplored, but Casey knew this feeling was something else entirely. She felt the need to give as good as she got, and to brand Eva with her touch. Casey wanted more than to make love to Eva, she wanted to crawl beneath her skin.

  She kicked off her shoes and removed her sweater. Eva grabbed her hands and stilled her. “What?” Casey said, gasping for breath. “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t want to rush this.”

  “You don’t have to go,” Casey said, standing to remove her pants. She unbuttoned her jeans and lowered the zipper slowly. “I don’t have a choice in you saying good-bye.” She pushed her jeans over her hips and let them fall to the floor. “But I will be in control of everything else tonight.” She watched Eva’s throat flex with a hard swallow.

  Casey felt flush with desire. Her skin was heated and sensitive to the air around her. She was desperate for the distraction. The physical stimuli drew her mind away from heartache and what-ifs. When Casey walked up to her, Eva spread her legs for her to step between and gripped her hips. Casey pushed her hands away. “Lie back and put your hands above your head.” Eva did as she was told, but her eyes never left Casey.

  She looked Eva over, noting the way her hard nipples were visible beneath her sweatshirt. Eva’s denim-clad thighs felt firm against Casey’s hands. She ran her fingernails along the inseam of Eva’s tight jeans and watched with rapt attention as Eva fought to hold still.

  Casey tilted her head. “Take off your shirt and bra, then lie back down.” Casey smirked when Eva obeyed enthusiastically. Eva’s breasts fell lazily to her sides when she lay flat. Casey wanted to feel them in her palms and the softness of their skin against her tongue. She knew how sweet Eva’s skin tasted. But she refrained. Casey kept her attention on Eva’s abdomen and the inches between her navel and the button of her jeans. Casey flicked the closure open, lowered the zipper, and tugged Eva’s pants off roughly. Casey knelt on the floor between Eva’s parted legs and Eva moaned.

  Casey found Eva’s white cotton panties sexier than any lingerie she might have modeled before. They brought to mind innocence and purity, like the mornings after high school sleepovers, when Casey would nuzzle Eva’s neck sleepily and fight to ignore the wetness between her thighs. She was so young, but certain of what her body and heart had wanted. Casey spread Eva’s legs farther apart and nuzzled the crotch of her panties, pleased at the scent of Eva’s arousal.

  “Casey, please.” Eva’s voice crackled to life.

  “Shh…” Casey bit at Eva’s fleshy mound, eliciting a sharp gasp. “I’m memorizing you,” she said, removing the cotton underwear. “I’m locking away this moment, your skin, and your every fold in my mind.” She ran her tongue up Eva’s slit to her clit. “And your taste.” Casey sucked Eva into her mouth, savoring the flavor and wishing it’d remain on her palate until the end of time.

  Casey worked Eva’s clit slowly, firmly with the flat surface of her tongue. She felt the tension building in Eva’s thighs as she fought to control Casey’s ministrations. But Casey wasn’t about to allow that. She wrapped her arms around Eva’s thighs and held her in place while she dove into her pussy with the tip of her tongue.

  “Shit!” Eva’s voice bounced off the walls. A strangled whine came from deep in her throat, and Casey wanted to see what other noises she could drag out of Eva.

  “Does that feel good?” Casey said before kissing Eva’s glistening lips. Eva’s only answer was a full-body shiver. Casey released one of Eva’s legs to bring her fingers up to Eva’s entrance.

  “Wait,” Eva said, grabbing Casey’s hand and placing it on her abdomen. “I want more of you.” She looked down into Casey’s eyes. “I want all of you tonight.”

  Casey kissed the inside of Eva’s thighs before standing. She turned off every light except the small lamp on her vanity. She didn’t want to shroud this moment in darkness. She joined Eva in bed and interlocked their legs. She was going to miss how Eva’s skin was always delightfully warm compared to her own. She bit Eva’s strong jaw before placing a sweet kiss on her lips. One sweet kiss turned into another, and before long, they grew ravenous for each other.

  No matter how badly Casey wanted to control her own desire and the pace of their evening together, she grew powerless.

  She pushed Eva onto her back and shifted to lie atop her. Casey kissed both of Eva’s closed eyelids before nipping at her lower lip. She used her hips to spread Eva’s legs apart and whimpered when she felt Eva’s desire coat her lower abdomen. Not one other earthly feeling could compare with that. Their height difference made it difficult for Casey to keep their mouths connected as she strained to rub her own center against Eva’s.

  “Come here,” Eva said as she brought their lips together and easily flipped Casey onto her back. Casey might have wished to be a little bigger so she could dominate physically when need be, but feeling tossed around by Eva was an incredible turn-on.

  Casey let out a throaty groan before demanding, “Inside.”

  Eva shot her a salacious smile and started to toy with her nipples as she descended her body with her left hand. Eva was moving too slowly for her liking.

  “Now,” she said firmly.

  Eva kissed her fiercely as she entered her with two fingers. Her mouth fell open as she let out a long and low moan. Eva traced the inside of Casey’s upper lip with the tip of her tongue.

  She had never known such ecstasy.

  Casey kept her hips moving in time with Eva’s fingers, and she dug her fingernails into Eva’s lower back. As she scratched Eva’s flesh, she imagined the red trails she’d leave behind and smiled. Casey grabbed Eva’s ass just as hard, hoping at least one mark would be permanent. Eva pulled her mouth away and whimpered.

  Eva pressed her forehead to the pillow beside Casey’s head. She twisted her wrist and curled her fingers, dragging a long moan of pleasure from Casey. “I need you,” she whispered in Casey’s ear.

  Casey traced around Eva’s hips and ran her fingertips through the short hairs at the apex of Eva’s thighs. She pressed her middle finger into Eva, gliding easily across her most sensitive skin. They were perfectly connected, creating a completed circuit of pleasure. Casey fought back welling tears, wanting the pleasure of the moment to eclipse the sadness in her heart. Eva and Casey’s pleasure crested together, and they collapsed as a tangle of limbs. Eva started to remove her fingers, but Casey stopped her and wrapped her arm around Eva’s neck to pull her closer.

  “Don’t,” Casey said weakly. She continued to fight to catch her breath. “I’m not ready to lose you, not yet.”

  Eva remained in her, atop her, and surrounding her until Casey reluctantly gave in to exhaustion.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Casey wasn’t surprised when her fingertips skimmed cold bedsheets the morning after. Casey knew Eva wasn’t going to be there. She wasn’t going to get another lazy morning, and she’d never again be on the receiving end of a sleepy smile from Eva. Casey’s heart felt light in spite of these realities, because she got
the good-bye that escaped her years ago. She lay still in bed with her eyes closed and took stock of her body—where she was sore and how heavy her limbs felt. Her therapist called this mindfulness, while Casey called it wrangling in her mind.

  Casey stretched and took a deep breath. She already knew she wasn’t going to class today and had no desire to move from her bed. She didn’t bother to look at the clock before rolling over and wrapping the covers tight around her. She’d remain in her and Eva’s final resting place for a little longer. Her eyes opened when she heard the front door to the apartment slam shut.

  “I hope you lovebirds aren’t banging in the kitchen, because I’m starving,” Lizzy said, yelling too loudly for Casey’s liking. “I need food and a shower and then probably more food.” Casey remained silent. “Unless you’re fucking in the shower.”

  Casey finally got up from bed with a huff and threw on her bathrobe. She opened her bedroom door and peeked out to find Lizzy in her face. “Lizzy! What are you doing?” Casey said while tugging at the sash of her robe to keep from giving her friend a free show.

  “Checking to see if you’re still alive.”

  “I just woke up, can’t you be quiet for just a little longer?”

  “You do realize it’s almost noon, right?” Lizzy said with a devious smirk.

  “No way.” Casey rushed back into the room and looked at the small clock hanging on the wall. “Holy shit.”

  Lizzy followed Casey and plopped herself on the foot of Casey’s bed. “Told you,” she said, looking around. “Where’s Eva?”

  Casey sat beside Lizzy and rubbed her eyes before answering. “She left.”

  “Huh. I expected her to be here all day.” Lizzy looked over her shoulder and at the disheveled sheets on Casey’s bed. “Right there, actually. Did you two work things out or what? She seemed very nervous and sad. I felt for her, but then I remembered how she treated you and wanted her to suffer for a little longer.”