Finding Libbie

by Deanna Lynn Sletten

  “Is this your future bride?” he asked, nodding to Libbie.

  “Yep,” Jack said. “Libbie, this is Clem. He owns this resort.”

  “Nice to meet you,” Libbie said.

  “Well, ain’t you a pretty thing. It’s nice to meet you, too, young lady,” Clem said. “You two go ahead and look. Let me know what the missus says.”

  Clem walked away toward the other side of the lodge, and Libbie looked up at Jack, confused.

  “What’s going on?” she asked.

  Jack took her hand and led her across the yard. “This morning after I helped my dad unload cabinets down the road from here, I drove this way to Carol’s to check on you. On the way, I saw a sign, so I stopped in to check it out. Here we are.” Jack stopped in front of a cottage with the number three on it. The cottage was larger than the other two they’d passed and it had white wood siding and sky-blue trim.

  “I still don’t understand,” Libbie said.

  “Let’s go inside and I’ll explain.”

  They stepped up on the covered wooden porch, and Jack unlocked the door. He opened it and let Libbie walk in first. They stepped into a large, rectangular room that held a nice-sized kitchen on the right and a large living room on the left. In the corner of the living room was a barrel-style woodstove. The furniture in the living room was worn but clean, and the kitchen had a wooden table painted white with four chairs. Light blue, navy, and white were the colors of the furniture and curtains, and the walls were whitewashed.

  “There’s two bedrooms down the hall and a bathroom,” Jack said. “What do you think?”

  Libbie turned to Jack. “It’s adorable. But you still haven’t told me what this is about.”

  “I was thinking, if you want to, that we could live here.”

  Libbie stared at Jack, surprise clearly written on her face. “At a resort?”

  “Yeah. Clem doesn’t want to run this as a resort anymore, so he’s renting the cottages long-term. We’d still have access to the lake and can use the boats and canoes. And the cottage is furnished, so we wouldn’t have to worry about buying furniture. What do you think?” Jack held his breath. He could afford the cottage on his income, and they could save for a place of their own. It seemed like the perfect place for them.

  Libbie walked down the hall and looked at the two bedrooms and the small bathroom. “Well, everything looks clean and nice,” she said tentatively.

  Jack let out his breath. “You don’t like it,” he said, disappointed.

  “No, I didn’t say that. You just caught me off guard.” She looked around again. “It is cute and cozy. And we have more room here than any of the apartments we looked at. And living on the lake would be nice . . .” She turned to Jack, and a smile slowly appeared on her face. “I love it! Oh, Jack, it’s such a great idea.”

  Jack was so happy he grabbed her around the waist, lifted her off her feet, and swung her around in a circle. Libbie laughed, and when he set her down, he kissed her. “We finally have a place of our own,” he said, wrapping her in his arms. “It’s affordable, too. And we can save money to buy a house someday.” Jack looked down at Libbie. “Seven more days. Only seven days and we can finally be together. I can’t wait Libbie. I love you so much. We’re going to be so happy.”

  “We are,” Libbie said, her eyes shining brightly. They kissed again, and Jack reluctantly pulled away.

  “Let’s go tell Clem we’re taking the cottage,” Jack said. Libbie nodded and they walked hand in hand over to the lodge.

  Libbie’s bridal shower was lovely, and she received many wonderful gifts from her friends and relatives. To her surprise, Libbie’s parents had given her a complete set of the china she’d picked out. It was beautiful, and extremely expensive, and Libbie smiled to herself when she thought of her and Jack using that fancy china in the little cottage by the lake.

  When Libbie’s mother found out that they were going to live in a cottage at a resort, she had a fit, but once again Randall calmed her down. “Jack is a hardworking boy. I’m sure he will buy our Libbie a house in no time. Until then, think of how much fun they’ll have living by the lake. And she’ll only be a short distance from home.”

  Abigail had to admit having Libbie living so close would be nice, so she didn’t say anything more about it. She also never asked to go see it, either. Gwen dropped by for just a minute to inspect the cottage and only wrinkled her nose at it. But Libbie didn’t mind. She stopped by the cottage every day to bring her things there and put them away. She replaced the resort’s worn dishes and silverware with her new ones and also made the bed with new sheets she’d been given at the shower.

  Bev stopped by and told them how much she loved the little cottage. “It’s enchanting,” she said, glancing around. “It’s the perfect little honeymoon cottage.” She’d made them a lovely wedding ring quilt and Libbie adored it. Their little home was becoming their own, and Libbie couldn’t wait to move in permanently.

  Libbie was happy. After the terrible episode the previous week, she decided to take her pills only if she absolutely couldn’t sleep. It had scared her how she’d blacked out that night, not remembering a thing about it, and she feared she could become dependent on the pills. Besides, once she and Jack were together, she knew she would be happy. Jack was all she needed.

  On their wedding day, Libbie watched Jack’s eyes light up as she walked down the aisle on her father’s arm. Jack looked handsome in his black tux, and the entire wedding party looked lovely. There wasn’t a dry eye in the church when the two vowed to love, honor, and cherish each other for the rest of their lives. And when Jack lifted Libbie’s veil and gazed down into her eyes, she knew he’d meant every promise. I’ll always be safe with Jack.

  For the town of Jamison, Libbie and Jack’s wedding was the celebration of the decade. There had never been a more beautiful wedding, nor a more stunning bride than Libbie. And the reception at the country club was talked about for years to come. The decorations, the flowers, the incredible meal, and even the wedding cake were all extravagant and memorable. But it was the bride and groom that stood out more than any of the trimmings. The love in their eyes for each other was real, and everyone saw it. When Libbie and Jack danced their first dance as husband and wife, women could be seen brushing away tears from their eyes, and men cleared their throats in an attempt not to show their emotions. It was evident to everyone who attended—no couple had ever been more in love than Libbie and Jack.

  That night, long after the last bit of champagne had been drunk and guests had gone home, Jack held Libbie in his arms, tucked away in their bed in the little lake cottage. They’d made love slowly and sweetly, and afterward they held each other tightly and cuddled under the sheets.

  “We’re married,” Jack whispered in Libbie’s ear as his body curled around hers. “Even after everything today, I still can’t believe it.”

  “We’re married,” Libbie said softly. Then she giggled. “You’re stuck with me now, Jack Prentice.”

  “It’s a pleasure to be stuck with you, Libbie Prentice,” Jack said, kissing her cheek. And they made sweet, passionate love once again before falling asleep in each other’s arms.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Libbie and Jack lived in a state of pure bliss. They couldn’t afford to go on a honeymoon, and Jack had to work, but they spent every spare minute together taking walks in the woods, canoeing on the lake, or curled up together in their cottage, making love. They both felt relaxed, content, and carefree.

  The first few weeks Libbie stayed busy putting away their many gifts from the wedding, writing thank-you notes, and organizing the little cottage to make it feel like home. She cooked dinner for Jack every night and baked cookies and cakes like his mother did. There was a laundry room at the main lodge, and she washed clothes twice a week. In that time, she’d met Clem’s wife, Edith, and the two women got along well despite their age difference.

  Larry and Carol came over one Sunday evening in late June, a
nd they all sat at the small kitchen table and played card games and ate snacks that Libbie had made.

  “You’re becoming a regular little Suzy Homemaker,” Larry said, winking at Libbie. “And your brownies taste as good as Jack’s mother’s.”

  “Thanks, I think,” Libbie said, laughing and grabbing another Coke from the small fridge for herself. Larry had brought along a bottle of gin, but Libbie didn’t drink any of it. She noticed Jack only had one drink, while Larry and Carol had a few and were getting silly.

  “You sure you don’t want another drink?” Larry asked Jack, pouring himself one.

  “No, you go ahead,” Jack told him, looking up at Libbie. They smiled at each other. She was happy that he didn’t get drunk like Larry did. She adored Larry—he was always sweet to her and he loved to tease and have fun—but he wasn’t as responsible as Jack.

  “Well, you’d better have your fun now, Jack, ’cause after the draft lottery in July, you might have a one-way ticket to Nam,” Larry said, laughing.

  Libbie’s eyes darted up quickly, and she caught Carol hitting Larry’s arm and shushing him. “What are you talking about?” she demanded.

  Larry opened his mouth to speak, but Carol punched him again and he quickly closed it.

  Libbie turned to Jack. “What’s he talking about? What draft lottery? I thought that was months from now.”

  “Oh, wow, Jack. I’m so sorry,” Larry said. “I thought Libbie knew. It’s been on the news and in the paper.”

  Libbie stood up, angry now. “What is he talking about?” she yelled.

  Jack placed his hand on her arm. “Please don’t get upset, sweetie. Sit down and I’ll tell you.”

  Libbie sat, watching him intently.

  “The draft lottery for men born in 1951 is being held on July first,” Jack said, holding her hand.

  Chills ran down Libbie’s spine and tears filled her eyes. “You mean I could lose you as soon as July?”

  “No, no, no,” Jack said, jumping up and wrapping his arms around Libbie from behind, touching his cheek to hers. “Even if my birth date draws a low number, even if I get drafted, it won’t be for at least another six months. We have plenty of time together. And I may not be drafted at all.”

  Libbie felt the shaking start from deep within until her entire body began to quiver. Jack must have felt her shaking, too, because he held her tighter, as if to stop it. She jumped out of her chair with such force, it pushed Jack back, and she turned and faced him. “Why didn’t you warn me about this? Why were you hiding it from me?” she yelled, angry tears streaming down her face.

  “I’m sorry, Libbie,” Jack said, coming to her with open arms. But Libbie stepped back and wrapped her arms around herself. “Libbie, please don’t be angry. Please. I didn’t want to upset you. That’s why I didn’t say anything. You were so troubled after the last draft that I didn’t want you to worry like that again. I may not even be chosen. We just have to wait and see.”

  Carol came over to Libbie and wrapped her arm around her. “Let’s not worry about it tonight, okay, Libbie? We can go back to playing cards and having fun. And you made so many wonderful treats. Come on, let’s sit down.”

  Libbie stood there, holding herself tightly as she looked into the faces around her. How could they all be so calm? The thought of losing Jack terrified her. She loved him so much; it would kill her if he had to go off to war. How could they all not know that?

  Breaking away from Carol, she ran down the hall and into their bedroom, slamming the door. She heard their muffled voices but didn’t care what they were saying. Her heart was pounding fiercely and her mind was racing. A cold sweat covered her body. Bile rose up in her throat and threatened to choke her. She hugged herself tightly and rocked back and forth, trying to soothe herself, but it didn’t help. She had to calm down, and she knew she couldn’t do it on her own.

  Walking slowly to the dresser on shaky legs, she opened her lingerie drawer and dug around until she found the pill bottle hiding in the very back. She grasped it tightly and stared at it, thinking how she hadn’t needed to take these since their wedding day. Libbie opened the bottle and took out one pill. Then, quickly, before she could think about it, she popped it into her mouth and swallowed. It would calm her down. It would make the pain go away. She only needed it this one time, she told herself, to get through tonight. Then she hid the bottle back in her drawer and lay down on the bed.

  “Dammit, Larry! Why did you have to bring up the lottery?” Jack glared at his friend. Larry just looked back at him with glassy eyes, and Jack realized he’d had more than just alcohol. He’d probably smoked pot before coming over.

  “Yeah. Way to go, idiot,” Carol said, crossing her arms.

  “I’m sorry, man,” Larry said, ignoring Carol. “I really am. I figured she already knew. Besides, she’d have found out in a few days.”

  Jack sighed heavily. These past three weeks with Libbie had been incredible. They’d lived in a bubble of happiness, oblivious to the world around them. Now reality was crashing in much sooner than he would have liked. “I have to go check on Libbie.”

  “We’ll get out of your way,” Carol said, smacking Larry on the shoulder as she walked past him. “Come on, big mouth. I’ll drive you home.”

  She gave Jack a hug, and Larry apologized once more before they both went out the door. Jack packed the food in containers and put them away. He set the dishes in the sink and ran water over them. Then he headed into the bedroom to check on Libbie.

  When he opened the door, he was surprised to see her lying peacefully on the bed, half-asleep. He’d never seen her calm down so quickly before. He had thought she’d be upset about this for days. He walked over and lay down beside her, brushing her hair away from her face.

  “Libbie? Are you okay?”

  She turned her head and opened her eyes. Jack frowned. Her eyes looked glassy, just as they had on the night of the gazebo incident. “Libbie?”

  “I’m fine,” she said sleepily, then shut her eyes again.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want you to worry.”

  Libbie sighed. “I know.” She stood and walked to the closet to undress and slip on her nightgown. Jack watched her and noticed that her movements were unsteady.

  Maybe she’s just really tired, he rationalized. He pulled the blankets down and slid into bed, and soon after Libbie did, too, and turned out the light.

  Jack curled up next to Libbie, holding her close. Just as he thought she’d fallen asleep, she startled him by speaking.

  “July first is only three days away.”

  “I know,” he said quietly.

  “I can’t live without you, Jack. I just can’t.”

  Jack pulled her closer and kissed her bare shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere, Libbie. And even if I do, I will come back to you. You have to believe that.”

  “You can’t promise me that. You know you can’t,” she whispered.

  “Oh, Libbie.” Jack sighed, dropping his head on his pillow. “I’m just as scared as you are. Don’t you know that?”

  She turned and looked at him. “I’m sorry. I was so afraid that I never thought about how you felt.”

  Jack ran his hand tenderly across her cheek and through her hair. “We’ll get through this, hon. You’ll see. You’re stronger than you think.”

  Libbie laid her head on his chest and curled up next to him. “I’m so tired, Jack. So, so tired.”

  He kissed the top of her head. “Go to sleep, sweetie. Tomorrow things will look better.”

  Libbie spent the next four days in a blur. When Jack was at work, she cleaned the cottage until it was spotless, then she cleaned some more. She washed all the curtains and linens in the house and even cleaned the windows inside and out. She scrubbed and polished until she was so exhausted that she fell into bed each night, hoping for sleep. But even then, sleep eluded her. She’d gone back to taking Valium in the morning and before bed. She needed their calming effect all d
ay and again at night to fall asleep. But even with the pills, she still felt strung out at times, so she kept herself busy.

  Carol had come over to check on Libbie that Monday and told her how happy she was that she was feeling better. They’d sat on the front porch in new wooden rockers that Libbie had bought for cost from her father’s furniture store. Carol told Libbie she’d broken it off with Larry.

  “You did? Why? I hope it wasn’t because he told me about the lottery,” Libbie said, shocked.

  Carol shook her head. “No, not because of that. There were a lot of other things. He’s a nice guy and can be really sweet, but he has so much growing up to do. He drinks way too much and is hardly ever serious. We don’t love each other as much as we should. In fact, I don’t think we’ve ever loved each other.”

  “I’m sorry, Carol,” Libbie said. “You two have been together as long as Jack and I have. I guess I thought you did love each other.”

  Carol shrugged. “I told myself I loved him, but then I realized that it wasn’t true. He and I aren’t anything like you and Jack. You remember that night you freaked out and stayed over at my house? Well, I saw how much Jack truly loved you. He took care of you, and his only concern was that you were okay. I think that was the night I realized I wanted someone to love me as much as Jack loves you. I’m not sure I’ll ever find a guy like that, but I know Larry isn’t that guy. So, I’ll keep looking.”

  Libbie had been amazed by what Carol had said. She’d thought about it often. She already knew she was lucky to have Jack, but the fact that Carol saw how strong the love was between them surprised her. That was why she couldn’t lose Jack. She would never find anyone she’d love as much as Jack or who’d love her as much as he did.

  July 1 came and went, and the draft lottery numbers were printed in the July 2 newspapers. Jack was getting ready to leave for work that morning when the paper arrived at the main building of the resort. Libbie saw it, too, and without a word, they walked over to the other building, picked up the paper, and Jack unrolled it. He looked at Libbie, and she bit her lip and nodded. Taking a breath, he opened it to the page that had the number chart and looked for his birthday.