Butterfly

by Rebecca Sherwin

  “Unconscious groping isn’t my thing,” he says with a smile.

  “Whatever.” I look up at him, wondering why he’s dressed and looks so damn casual in his jeans and fitted t-shirt, while I’m naked and cold. Captive and captor. This is the way. “I wouldn’t know, would I, kidnapping stranger?”

  “One day you’ll see that I saved you.”

  “I can’t wait for that day to come.”

  “Come on.” Grabbing the top of my arm, he forces me to sit up, and crouches by my feet. “Dinner is going cold.”

  “More rabbit food?”

  He laughs, shaking his head. “Put these on.”

  He’s holding a pair of white lace knickers in front of my feet, and I’ve never seen them before.

  “Whose are they?”

  “Yours.”

  “Who wore them before me?”

  He doesn’t answer me, but he jerks his head to the side to tell me to look at the bedside table. There are three tags on the side, telling me that whatever he’s going to dress me in is brand new and hasn’t been worn before. Marginally satisfied, I lift one foot, and then the other, and allow him to pull them up my legs as I stand.

  “While I’d really like to just leave you naked, I suspect you’ll be more comfortable dressed.”

  “What is that a reward for?”

  “Call it a precaution. With your pretty little cunt naked at the dinner table, I could be swayed into eating you, instead of the dinner I cooked us.”

  “Nice. Such a gentleman, Coop.”

  He stills, but says nothing; instead he turns and grabs a strapless cotton dress, taking a second longer to compose himself before turning back to me and getting me dressed. After easing a pair of slippers onto my feet, he leads me back downstairs and through to the kitchen.

  “Why don’t you have a dining room?” I ask when we sit down at the table in the corner by the doors to the garden.

  “I don’t entertain often enough to need one.”

  “You’re alone? You don’t have any friends or family?”

  “You eat chicken, don’t you?”

  I nod and Cooper places a plate of chicken and vegetables in front of me.

  “So, should I start worrying about a carb crash?”

  “Sorry?”

  “No bread? No potatoes or rice or pasta?”

  “Oh…I didn’t think.” He bows his head, but shakes it and looks at me again. “No, no carbs. Only on Fridays and Sundays.”

  “I’ll need them when I get my period.” His eyes widen at me in terror. He hadn’t thought about that, either. He really has never done this before. “I suffer excruciating pain and, unfortunately for your rules, ciabatta bread is the only thing I’ve found to help.”

  “But bread bloats you.”

  “Yeah, because shedding blood for four days doesn’t.”

  “I’ll make an exception. Only because you’ll be useless in pain. Although…”

  “Just make the exception, Coop.”

  He growls, staring down at his plate of food, but pulls his phone out of his pocket and types something on the keypad. I hadn’t noticed his phone before. Maybe I can get hold of it.

  “When’s your period?” I tell him and he nods a thanks. “I’ve ordered ciabatta bread.”

  “Thank you,” I say with sincerity. I didn’t expect him to make the exception. “Thank you.”

  “Now…” Putting his phone away, he reaches behind him and pulls a gun from his waistband and places it on the table between us. “I’ll let you feed yourself, but one sudden move and I’ll end you.”

  “I understand.” I nod and he stands from the table to untie my wrists. Finally. “Did I earn that or are you just too hungry to waste time feeding me yourself?”

  “I’d feed you before I ever feed myself,” he says, making me gasp. What the fuck? “I don’t want you to have to be bound all the time.”

  He frowns, signalling confusion with his own actions, and grunts to end the conversation before picking up his cutlery and cutting into his chicken.

  I roll my wrists as the blood surges back into my fingers and my brain reminds me how to use my hands again. Picking up my knife and fork, I eat what Cooper cooked for me. Perfectly cooked chicken, al dente vegetables and some sort of gravy I pour on my plate when he silently pushes the jug towards me.

  “Can I read while I’m here?” I ask, earning nothing but a grunt of acknowledgment from him. “I mean, I’m just wondering what we’re going to spend our days doing.”

  “You’ll work for me,” he says, without looking up from his food. “You’ll work with me and for me, and you’ll earn downtime like any other employee.”

  “Do you have others? Employees?”

  “Yes.”

  “What do they do?”

  “Build shit.”

  “Build? I thought you were in technology.”

  “Your questions are irritating.”

  A sharp stab of rejection hits me and I close my mouth, looking down at my plate, my appetite gone. Cooper doesn’t notice, filling himself up on the dinner he cooked, and when he’s finished, he sits back and wipes his mouth with his napkin, finally looking at me.

  “You don’t like it?”

  I have no words. The crazy man doesn’t want to have a conversation; he judged me for not trying to understand him, but when I do, he shuts me out. I have no interest in talking to him now; I’m not just going to give in and follow his commands like a lovesick puppy. I miss my home. I miss my bed. I miss my boring life that didn’t fill me with confusion like being here with Cooper does.

  “What’s your favourite movie?” he asks.

  “Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy.”

  “That’s more than one movie.” He narrows his eyes at me.

  “Was it the trilogy part that got you?”

  “Why not a chick flick? Some ugly cry movie?”

  “Because that kind of love isn’t real,” I whisper. “Love, in real life, is mundane, comfortable, and nowhere near as powerful as Hollywood portrays.”

  Cooper tilts his head, regarding me like I’m an alien. Then he smiles, not only showing me he agrees with me, but hinting that I hit the nail on the head with his belief of the mighty L-word.

  “Cynic,” he snipes.

  “Kidnapper,” I snap in return.

  “Well, that escalated quickly.” Standing from the table, he tucks his gun back in his waistband and holds his hand out for me. “Come on.”

  “You’re not going to clean the plates?”

  “No. I have people to do it.”

  “You do?” A spark of hope hits me in the stomach and my eyes widen.

  “Yes, but you’ll never see them. Don’t get your hopes up. You want to be here.”

  No. No, I don’t. But I do want to stay for a while, and figure him out. Maybe I can look at it like a holiday and convince myself I opted to spend some time with this madman so that I appreciate the life I have when I return to it.

  Cooper leads me to a living room, complete with a corner suite and a TV that spans the width of the huge room. It’s like a personal cinema, with a coffee and drink machine in the corner, and a fridge lined with beer bottles and packets of chocolate.

  “I don’t want to have to go to the kitchen when I’m watching a movie.”

  “And the chocolate,” I say, pointing to the fridge. “I thought you didn’t eat anything that wasn’t protein and veg.”

  “I…” He looks down at the thick carpet before dragging me round to the sofa and throwing me onto it. “I bought them for you. I didn’t expect you to ask for ciabatta bread.”

  Shit. Well, if that doesn’t render me speechless and make me wonder if he’s not crazy after all. He may have taken me, but he isn’t punishing me. He’s treating me, almost like a princess with a little rejection thrown in to keep things exciting. No, I don’t want excitement. I want to go home to…comfortable.

  “Thank you,” I say for the umpteenth time today.

&n
bsp; I don’t think I should be thanking him. I don’t think I should want to thank him. But when he sits down on the sofa, pulling me into him as he reaches for the remote and turns the TV on, I relax and allow him to hold me. I shouldn’t, I know I shouldn’t, but…I can’t not.

  “So, Batman?” he says. “Some weird fantasy of yours?”

  “Oh yeah,” I laugh, taking a subtle inhale to smell his unique scent. “Something about a masked man of the night, you know?”

  Cooper laughs and tightens his hold on me. “And you complained about being kidnapped.”

  I still. “Batman is fiction, Coop. No one wants to be stolen for real.”

  “But you’re mine. Why wouldn’t I take you?”

  “I should have had the choice.”

  “Now you do. You can follow my rules and have a good life, or you can rebel and see how long you last. The choice is yours.”

  I sigh, realising I’m not going to be able to convince him that drowning me and bringing me back here against my will was wrong. He believes that he had the right to do it and there will be no changing it. Cooper puts Batman on and settles back into the sofa to watch it. He’s totally relaxed, completely calm, and it rubs off on me, lulling me into a sense of belief that, just for one night, this is okay. His arm strokes the top of mine, up into my hair where he supports the back of my head and plays with the strands. I shiver, gripping his t-shirt as I lay my head on his chest and fall asleep.

  When I wake up, it’s dark. The movie has ended and the TV has turned itself off. I shift against the body beneath me, noticing Cooper and I are spread out on the sofa, my back to his front with his arm over my stomach. He’s sleeping, the deep breathing and soft snore telling me he’s in deep slumber and as relaxed as he was when we first sat down. Now’s my time. Turning my head, I see the dim light from the lamp in the hallway and it calls to me. I gently slip out from Cooper’s hold, knowing his injection of fear into my veins with the promise of a bullet, has led to his relaxation. He thinks I understand. He thinks I won’t run. He’s wrong. When I’m standing, I look down at him, as he rolls onto his back with a groan. He doesn’t stir, doesn’t suspect I’ve moved, but I know it won’t be long. I don’t trust his crazy won’t surge up and catch me planning to make my escape. I creep past the sofa and out of the door into the hallway. It’s impossibly long, and I have no idea where the exit is. Glancing left and then right, I make my choice, turning back and running towards the kitchen, where I’m sure I saw bright light opposite earlier. I find the front door, two glass panels streaming moonlight in to promise me freedom. I turn the handle, smiling when I realise it isn’t locked. Why would he lock it? With my fear keeping me in place, and his gun offering to punish me if I dared try to run free, Cooper hadn’t thought about keeping me locked in. I pause the second the door opens and the cool night air seeps in to whip around my dress. Cooper has issues. I don’t think he’s a psychopath with no reason for his actions, but I don’t have time to worry about it. He said it himself, I have the choice. Only both lead to my demise and I can’t risk dying without letting my family know I’m sorry, and I love them. I want to figure him out, find out what happened to him to make him so paranoid, but I can’t trust that my need to figure him out will be enough to save me in the end. I pull the door all the way open and step out, my feet smarting as harsh stones stab through the thin soles of my slippers. I don’t have time to worry about it. I run, having to kick off the slippers to stop me from falling. The pain barely registers, although the warm wetness beneath me as I take each step tells me I won’t get far. My lungs heave, still damaged from the drowning, and a cough surges up out of my mouth to make me wince. I can see gates at the end of the drive and I push harder, imagining it’s the last length of a race. I know I’m not far; I know I can make it to the end if I refuse to give up.

  “Erin!”

  Cooper’s sleepy anger slams into me and I trip, picking up the pace into an erratic gallop. I’m closer to the gates, lit only by solar lamps along the path to guide me, and I push harder. I suck in a deep breath and groan in pain as I exhale. I reach the gate, slamming my entire body into the harsh metal. I’m scrambling to climb the fence when two hands grab my waist and yank me to the ground. I hit it with a thud, my back bouncing back off as Cooper forces my legs apart with his body.

  “Why are you running?” he asks, gripping my throat to pin me beneath him.

  “My family need to know I’m okay!” I choke. “I don’t want them to worry.”

  “You’re not known for your selflessness, sweetheart.”

  A burning tear falls from my eye as he squeezes my windpipe. He’s right. I hate that he’s right and I hate that he knows it.

  “I’m not weak,” I spit, gasping for a breath he denies me. “You won’t break me.”

  His hard cock digs into my stomach as he opens his legs and forces mine to open wide.

  “I’m really fucking regretting these knickers.”

  “You promised!” I claw at his back and he throws his head back to growl. “You fucking promised not to touch me.”

  “I did no such thing,” he laughs. “You made me realise something, Erin, with your bullshit about using sex as a reward. For you, sex is a punishment. Forcing you to embrace your desires is the way to keep you in line. So, my little ex-slut, remember that.”

  I fight and thrash as he pulls another length of rope from his pocket and forces my hands together. When I’m bound again, he shoves my hands behind my head and pulls the gun out, pressing it to my forehead. His words ring in my ears. He knows about the Erin who used to live inside me. He wasn’t wrong when he said he knows I’ve sinned. I have. God, I have, and now he’s going to use it to ruin me.

  “Take it like a good girl,” he breathes, dipping lower to kiss my neck. I turn my head away from him and he bites to stop me squirming. “We both know you want it.”

  “No.” I cry when he pulls my knickers to the side and slams into me in one punishing thrust. I’m dry and struggle to accept him, but the second he finds my clit, desire pools inside me and allows him to slide right in. “Griffin. Griffin!”

  “Keep screaming, baby. You try and forget it’s me who owns you.”

  I lay still, staring up at the stars in the sky as Cooper rapes me. I thought there was hope for him, but I was wrong. I thought there was a human hidden in the depths of the beast who took me, but it’s another mistake I can now claim ownership of.

  “Please,” I sob, as my body climbs without permission. “Please, stop.”

  He’s right, this is punishment. Punishment because it feels so good and despite my pleas for him to let me go, I don’t want him to. Cooper was wrong about one thing. I’m not an ex-slut. I’m still very much a whore and it’s confirmed when I come with a scream, slamming my head back into the stones as Cooper’s cum jets into me and he releases a strangled groan.

  When I wake up, I know I’m back in Cooper’s house. I can smell his closeness, with the lingering scent of sex. I’m bound again, this time against something hard, and I’m upright. I open my eyes and see Cooper below me, staring up at where he has me tied.

  “Where am I?” I croak, trying to turn my head. I can’t. A rope around my neck stops me moving.

  “In my tower,” he says.

  He’s wearing all black, his dark hair brushing the collar of his black shirt, his powerful legs encased in black trousers. I’m stunned, afraid but fascinated with him.

  “What are you going to do?”

  “Let’s have a little chat.” With his hands behind his back, he paces the oak floor in front of me. “Why did you run?”

  “I told you, I just wanted to let my family know I’m alive.”

  “But they’re supposed to believe you’re not. This is as much a punishment for Griffin as it is for you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He doesn’t realise how lucky he is to have you, does he?” I stop struggling against the rope and stare at him. “He doesn’t realise that h
e’s got a strong, fierce woman, because he’s too preoccupied with shoving you into a box you don’t fit in.”

  “Stop it.”

  “Because I’m right?”

  “You know you’re right. Now you’re just trying to hurt me.”

  “Perhaps.” He turns away and crosses the room, reaching the floor to ceiling curtains opposite me and pulling them open. The moon streams into the room in a thick, glittering stream that illuminates Cooper, shadowing his powerful form and highlighting just how dark he is.

  “Do you know what the funniest part is?” he asks, gesturing to the vast empty countryside beyond the window. We’re up high, tens of feet above the ground and looking down over the rolling hills of his land.

  “Enlighten me.”

  “You’re as low as you can get, as good as existing in the fucking sewers, and yet, you won’t allow me to lift you up where you belong. Instead you choose to tower above the world when no one knows you’re drowning. You’ve been forgotten, Erin. Just like that, the people you love have moved on, because they see you as nothing but a burden.”

  “You’re wrong!” A tear trickles from my eye and I watch it fall to the floor in slow-motion. “Why are you doing this?”

  “You ask me that a lot.” He turns and walks towards me, his turbulent grey eyes burning into my fractured soul. “Did you know, that a butterfly dies if you touch its wings? Right now, you’re my caterpillar, striving to be something more. I’m going to fill you up with deviance, little caterpillar, make you crave the next hit. And then, when you emerge from your cocoon a beautiful butterfly, I’m going to grab you by your tiny little wings and crush you beneath my palm.”

  A squeak leaves me at the sincerity in his voice. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, me trying to run has done this.

  And I have no doubt he’s going to accomplish his goal.

  Cooper Jennings will break me, and I have no choice but to wait to be crushed.