All Things Lost

by Josh Aterovis

  “Perfect,” Adam breathed, confirming my opinion. “I've got the perfect finishing touch in my room. Come here.”

  I followed him into his and Steve's bedroom. The room was always immaculate. The bed was carefully made and nothing was out of place. It was furnished and decorated in antiques, all from Steve's house. Adam's old stuff had gone into storage when Steve moved in because, well, Steve had better taste. Adam opened a small wooden chest on his dresser and pulled out a braided silver chain. He slipped it around my neck, fastening it from behind me.

  “This is beautiful, Adam,” I said in amazement.

  “It was Seth's too. He seldom wore it, said it was too fussy. I would like you to have it.”

  “Adam, I…”

  “Killian, please. It took me two years to get to this point, where I could start to really let go of him. You can't even begin to know how much you've meant to me, you've been my son. Not that you replaced Seth, I don't mean that, but you've been a comfort to me. I couldn't love you more if I was your biological father. I want you to have this.”

  I reached up and touched it. “Thank you.” I whispered.

  “Now don't go getting all blubbery. Your date will be here any minute.”

  My date! I'd almost forgotten about Micah. I raced back to my room to get my shoes on. I had just got them tied when the doorbell sounded.

  “I'll get it,” Kane called from downstairs.

  “No! I will.” I yelled, but I was too late. I was only at the top of the stairs when Kane swung open the door. There was Micah looking cuter than ever in jeans and a ribbed charcoal-gray form-fitting shirt. He definitely had what it took to carry it off.

  “Hey, I remember you now,” Micah said to Kane with a grin, showing off his dimples. “So you're Killian's little brother.”

  “Yeah,” Kane said glancing over his shoulder at me, “So you guys are like going out now?”

  Micah's eyes followed his look up the stairs. His smile actually seemed to brighten even more when he found me if that was possible.

  “Well, this is actually our first date,” Micah answered Kane, his eyes never leaving me, “I guess we'll have to see how this goes before we see about going out, huh?”

  Kane looked up at me with a salacious smirk. “Just don't expect him to put out.”

  “Kane!” I screeched and flew down the stairs. He took off like a light cackling all the way.

  “Don't mind him,” I mumbled, blushing furiously.

  “It's cool. Typical little brother, trust me I know. Are you ready?”

  “I want you to meet Adam first,” I said just as he started down the steps.

  “Adam, this is Micah. Micah this is…my dad, Adam.”

  Adam blinked in surprise at my introduction but recovered quickly and extended his hand for Micah to shake. They made small talk for a few minutes then Micah turned towards me.

  “We really have to get going,” he said apologetically, “We have reservations.”

  “We do? Where at?” I asked, pleased and terribly curious.

  “You'll have to curb that detective's curiosity,” he said with a teasing grin. “It's a surprise.”

  “Well don't let me hold you up,” Adam said with a grin of his own, “You kids get going. And I won't wait up.”

  “Thanks. See you later Adam.” I gave him a hug and then followed Micah out to his car. It was a silver late model Saturn. He shocked me by actually opening my door for me. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Adam give me a thumbs-up from the door. I climbed in and he carefully shut it behind me. He came around and got in from his side.

  “So,” he said as he started the car, “feel free to tell me if this is none of my business, but why do you call your dad Adam?”

  “Oh, he's not my real dad. Or I guess I should say he's not my biological father. He's more of a real dad than my father. He took me in when my dad beat the crap out of me and kicked me out because I was gay. His son was a friend of mine.”

  “Was?”

  I took a deep breath. “Do you remember the murders a couple years ago, the first was a gay boy named Seth Connelly?”

  “How could you miss it? Front page news when that all exploded. What a mess.”

  “Seth was Adam's son.”

  “Wait, so you knew this Seth?”

  “I was the one who found him dead and almost got killed in the process.”

  “No way! You're the guy that was on TV, the hero that killed the killer and saved that other kid?”

  “It wasn't quite like that,” I sighed.

  “So how was it? Can you tell me about it?”

  “Sure, I guess so. I'm over most of it I think. Therapy works wonders.” He laughed and I launched into the whole story from the beginning. I was so caught up in my narrative that I didn't even notice where we were going until we pulled up into the parking lot of one of the nicest restaurants in town.

  “We're eating here?” I gasped.

  “Well, we're not just here for the view,” he said with a smile. He was out his door and opening mine before I could respond.

  They had a table reserved for us and we were seated quickly. Dinner was incredible. The first thing Micah did was outlaw any discussion of Caleb's case at dinner, which suited me just fine since I wanted to avoid thinking about Caleb and by extension Asher, as much as possible. We talked about our families-Micah had two younger siblings, a brother and a sister and his parents were very supportive of him-our jobs (in general) and as the evening wore on, our hopes and dreams. I found I was more and more attracted to the young man sitting across from me, not just physically, but on an emotional and spiritual level as well. I genuinely liked who he was as a person.

  He paid for dinner and then led me down to the beach to watch the sun set. We walked along the sand, just above the water line, still talking and getting to know each other. As we walked, our hands brushed a few times and then, almost without me even realizing it, his hand slipped into mine. The sun sank below the horizon with a spectacular display of color: pink, orange, yellow and lavender, but since we're on the East Coast it was behind us and not over the ocean. Still, it was beautiful. Micah suggested we sit and watch the stars come out so we settled onto one of the stone jetties, Micah sitting behind me with his arms wrapped loosely around my waist. I leaned back against his chest enjoying the closeness of his body and the scent of his cologne.

  It was a beautiful night for stargazing. The sky was clear and each star stood out brightly. We spent a while pointing out constellations and then suddenly Micah jumped up and reached his hand down to me.

  “Time for phase two,” he said with a grin.

  “Phase two?” I asked.

  “Well, I guess it's really phase three. Phase one was dinner, two was the walk on the beach, and now it's time for three.”

  “And what is phase three?”

  “You'll see.”

  “Come on! Haven't I been surprised enough for one night?”

  “Ok, ok,” he laughed, “Do you like to dance?”

  “Dance?”

  “Yeah, you know, moving your body rhythmically to the beat of music?”

  “I've never really been dancing.”

  “Well, you're about to go now.”

  I started to protest but decided to just go along. It had been a great evening so far and I didn't want to spoil it now by being a dork. We drove to an inconspicuous looking two-story square building on the outskirts of town. A small unassuming sign over the door declared that we had arrived at the Inferno.

  Micah jumped out of the car as soon as it stopped rolling, I was a little slower. I was very nervous, having never danced in my entire life, not counting slow dances with Asher. I had never attended school dances, Asher and I had chosen not to make an issue of being the only gay couple at school and neither of us wanted to go with anyone else.

  I hung back so Micah grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door.

  “Hey Carmen,” Micah said to the very large, very square wom
an sitting by the door. Her hair was an enormous helmet of frosty blonde and she was wearing enough make-up to keep Revlon in business for the next year or so. Her tight sequined dress strained at the seams and the largest pair of high heeled shoes I had ever seen graced the skis she called feet. Miniature mirror balls hung from each ear. She looked like her usual expression was probably somewhere between someone eating a lemon and constipation but her face creased into a broad smile when she saw Micah.

  “Micah,” she boomed. Her voice was surprisingly deep.

  “You look smashing tonight, darling,” he said.

  “And you look good enough to eat, as usual. So introduce me. Who's your little friend here, emphasis on the little?” She looked me over in a manner that made me feel a little like a steak.

  “His name is Killian and keep your paws off. He's my date tonight.”

  Her eyebrows arched. “You robbing the cradle these days, luv?”

  “He not that young, Carmen. He's legal but I will encourage you not to ask for ID, huh? Do a favor for Micah?”

  “Hmph, and when have you ever done a favor for me?”

  “Hey, nobody knows what you do for a day job, right?”

  “You always gotta bring that up, don't you? Smacks of blackmail if you ask me. Get in before I change my mind. And make sure you both behave.”

  “You know me, Carmen, I always behave.”

  “Ha!”

  Micah grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me through the door that Carmen opened for us. We went from complete quiet outside to complete chaos inside. Smoke billowed, multi-colored lights flashed, a strobe pulsated, voices yelled, glasses clinked, raucous laughter rang out, and above it all, music blasted. It was techno music with its heavy, throbbing beat that made it almost impossible to stand still. I managed. Here and there throughout the room there were pillars that ended just about at eye-level. They each had what I at first thought were flames leaping out of them, but I soon realized was just pieces of gauzy material blowing upwards with orange, yellow and red lights under them. It was a cool effect. As my eyes adjusted I realized just about all the dancers were male, several with their shirts off, sweat glistening on their skin. I was in my first gay club.

  Micah, still holding me by the wrist, drug me around the perimeter of the dance floor where it was slightly less crowded, to a metal staircase that led up to a broad catwalk that went all around the walls and looked down on the dance floor. Small, high tables had been set up at intervals with high stools around them. Most of the tables were full. There were guys dancing, guys making out and guys just leaning on the railing watching the spectacle below. I was in awe. Micah snagged us a table that was just being vacated by couple of guys wearing bright make-up, body glitter and not much else.

  “Wait here,” Micah yelled over the din. I sat down on one of the stools and continued to look around in wonderment. I was startled when a shirtless, smooth Latino guy slid onto the stool across from me.

  “This ain't no nursery school, sweetie,” he said in a slight Hispanic accent. He was very attractive, something that was only complimented by his sexy smile. “How'd you get in here?”

  “I'm with a friend.”

  “Oooh, so you gots connections. They're good to have. You're a real cutie-pie, you'd better be careful. Some of these guys eat boys like you for breakfast, literally. If you wanna dance look for me, I'm the best dancer in this place.”

  “Like I said, I'm with someone, but thanks.”

  He shrugged; a graceful movement that caused all sorts of muscles to slide around under his bronzed skin. “Don't mean you can't dance with me. Just ask for Miguel. Everybody knows Miguel.”

  “Yeah, and most of them have slept with him at least once,” Micah said as he reappeared next to the table. “I believe that's my seat.”

  Miguel looked at him with a curled lip. “Ah, is it my fault everybody wants me? I do what I can to spread a little happiness. If I knew you only liked little boys I wouldn't have wasted my time with you.” He turned back to me with a smoldering look in his dark eyes, “When you get tired of this one, and trust me, you will, come find me. I'll show you a good time, like you never seen before.” With that, he hopped down off the stool and sashayed his way down the catwalk, looking for all the world like a runway model.

  “Friend of yours?” I asked as Micah took the newly vacated spot across from me.

  “I wouldn't go that far,” Micah said as he slid a glass across the table to me. I eyed it suspiciously and he laughed. “I'm not trying to get you drunk. There's no alcohol in it. Besides, you're underage. It's just a Pepsi.”

  I grinned, feeling rather foolish and took a sip. “So what's the story with you and Miguel?”

  “There really isn't a story and that's the problem. He went after me and I said no. The end. He doesn't often get no for an answer. Was he trying to pick you up?”

  “I dunno, maybe. I don't have a lot of experience with getting picked up. He told me to be careful because these guys eat boys like me for breakfast.”

  Micah made a face. “At least he was telling the truth there.” He took a drink from his glass.

  “What are you drinking?”

  “I'm of age,” he said simply. “You want to dance?”

  I looked out over the dance floor and blushed. “I don't think I can do that.”

  He laughed. “Just have fun, move to the music, feel it. It doesn't matter what you look like, no one will be watching you.”

  “You will.”

  “I don't count.”

  “I think you do.”

  “Well I want to dance, so come on.”

  “There's always Miguel.”

  He swatted at me playfully and jumped down. He went to the rail and looked down. I glanced at his glass which was still three-quarters full. I decided that if I was going to dance out there I needed the fortification. I grabbed the glass and threw it back. I gasped as it burned its way down my throat to my stomach, leaving a warm trail behind it. After the initial shock I decided it wasn't that bad really, in fact it was kind of nice. I joined Micah at the rail.

  “Ok, I think I'm ready now,” I told him.

  “Great, let me get my drink,” he turned towards the table and saw the empty glass. He looked form the glass to me then burst into laughter at my sheepish expression.

  “Are you that nervous?” he asked. I nodded. He slid his hand into mine again and pulled me gently towards the stairs. “I promise I'll be gentle,” he said with a meaningful look into my eyes. I allowed him to lead me onto the dance floor. At first, I just stood there awkwardly as Micah began to dance around me. His hands trailed across my body and finally settled around my hips. He started moving me around, swiveling my hips and forcing me to move. I giggled and let him guide me.

  “Come on, loosen up, have fun,” he said into my ear. His breath tickled and I giggled again. I don't know if it was the closeness of his body, the atmosphere or the alcohol (it hadn't been that much but I'd never drank hard liquor before), but whatever it was I felt my inhibitions slowly melting away. I began to dance, stiffly at first and then slowly I became more and more comfortable with it. I tried to imitate Micah's movements and those of the guys around me and I must have done ok because Micah seemed to be having a good time. As the night progressed, my dancing ability seemed to progress as well. I had several more guys ask me to dance and Miguel made another appearance. Micah became more and more physical as we went until we were practically grinding on the dance floor. Not that others weren't doing that and more. Finally he pulled me in close and whispered into my ear, “Are you ready to leave?”

  I was having fun but I was also completely exhausted. I nodded and we started threading our way towards the door. As we stepped outside and I breathed in the comparatively cool fresh air I realized just how hot and stuffy it was inside.

  “Wow, it really is an inferno in there,” I gasped.

  Micah laughed.

  “I see you survived and even made it back out wit
h the same one you went in with,” Carmen commented, a puff of cigarette smoke punctuating every word.

  “Very funny, Carmen. You know, you should be on stage instead of at the door.”

  “At my age? Honey, I'm just happy to not have varicose veins. You two kids have fun now, and don't do anything I wouldn't do.”

  “That leaves us a lot of room.”

  “You know it.”

  As we walked to the car, I asked Micah about Carmen.

  “What did you mean earlier when you said no one knew what her day job is?”

  Micah laughed again, “It's all a big mystery around the Inferno. Everyone knows that Carmen isn't her real name, but nobody knows who she is. In fact, Carmen isn't even really a woman.” I felt my eyes fly open wide and Micah chuckled at my expression. “Yeah, if you knew what Carmen did during the day you'd be even more surprised.”

  “Tell me!”

  “Nope, sorry. I made her a promise.”

  “How'd you find out?”

  “By accident. Well, actually, just by being observant. I thought I recognized her. I did some digging and it turned out I was right.” He unlocked the car and opened my door for me again. I could really get used to this.

  “Now my curiosity is killing me,” I whined once we were both buckled in and on the road.

  “Sorry, I forgot you're as nosy as I am. Tell you what, promise to go out with me again sometime and I'll tell you on our second date.”

  “You are good at blackmail, aren't you? It's a deal.”

  Micah grinned. “Great!”

  “For the record, I would have gone out with you again without the extortion.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, I've had a really great night.”

  He looked over at me and smiled. “Good. I'm glad. I have too. I don't want it to end.”

  “Me either.”

  “You want to see my place before I take you home?”

  “I'd love to. Where do you live?”

  “Well, it's a little out of the way, but it's not a big deal. Do you have to be home at any certain time?”

  I made a face. “I'm 18, Micah. I don't have a curfew.”