by K. S. Adkins
“Inside you,” he says, taking himself in hand. I want to take his boxers off but if he wants them on, so they stay on. This time. “I’ll try not to---”
“You won’t hurt me,” I remind him. “Fuck me, Loyal. It’s what we both want.”
Seeming to make a decision, he slides inside of me on a groan of pure bliss. I don’t think he was even aware he made the sound but it was beautiful to hear. Wasting no time, he finds a rhythm that was both aggressive and slow. Using my legs to keep the pace going, I feel his sweat drip on to my skin. My moans fill the room but not his. This was Loyal reverting to what he was used to.
“Let go,” I whisper. “I want to hear you, actually I need to hear you.”
Closing his eyes tight, he does nothing for a heartbeat or two and I wait for him to make a decision. When he doesn’t, I lean up and bite down on his nipple hard. That did the trick because for the next few minutes he was all about letting go. So much that his moans drowned the sound of mine and the most amazing words fell from his mouth, all of them dirty.
“Feel good?” he asks me.
“Feels great,” I reply.
“Going to kiss you,” he says, leaning in and so it goes a little while longer. He kisses me deep, fucks me deeper and I can feel him harden even more signaling he’s close.
“Need to come,” he says.
“Come baby,” I encourage him.
“You first,” he says pulling out. “Always you first.”
“Oka---“I try to say but when he settles between my legs and his tongue swipes across my clit, my back bows, cutting off all words. “Do it again,” I beg him and he does. Jesus, that felt good. Too good, I was so close my body was tingling.
“Suck on it?” he asks but I wasn’t sure if he meant me or him so I just nod trying to sit up. When his lips secure themselves to my clit I got it. He meant me. I let him know it too when I started screaming through my orgasm. He never removed his lips, he only sucked harder as I rode it out with his mouth taking the reward.
“Oh my god,” I groan. “That was….”
“Good?”
“Fucking amazing,” I tell him, pulling him back up to me with my feet. “You need to come now Loyal and I want to hear it. Can you do that for me?”
“Do anything for you,” he says, finding his way back in and picking up where he’d left off. Once he’s fully seated, he grips me hard again. I try moving my hands but he still wasn’t having it. I was starting to get frustrated but locked it down. This was about him, I had to relax and let him do this his way.
“How do I feel?”
“Tight,” he moans. “Wet,” he moans again and then leans forward biting my neck. “Mine.”
“Yours,” I whisper feeling another orgasm coming on.
“No one else,” he says, pounding me. “Kill him,” he growls pounding me harder. “Love you,” he says, all but yelling and that’s what sent me over. As I scream out my own joy, he absolutely roars with his release and it was so violent for him he collapsed on top of me. When he rolls over freeing me, I run my hands all over him and he does the same for me. Minutes later he asks me, “Did I hurt you? Say anything I shouldn’t have?”
That’s when it hits me and pretty much breaks my heart. “No, you were perfect,” I whisper. “Absolutely perfect.” I hurt because he didn’t realize what he’d said, though to me it was what I’d been waiting my whole life for. Keeping the tears in, I remind myself that tonight was a breakthrough. He may not be aware he’d said it, but I was.
I just didn’t know if he meant it.
‘For me, it seems to help me take the pressure off if I don't pay attention to what other people are telling me.’
~Missy Franklin
Sex with Rion was fucking perfect. She let me have control and never bitched about how I used it. I have dozens of ways I want to fuck her right now but haven’t acted on them yet. But I tell myself I will, eventually. For now, I’m still afraid I’ll hurt her. This morning I asked her if she had any resources to find someone. Just like that, she offered to call in a favor to her friend Lina to find my brother. As much as I can’t stand the guy, I still worry about him. He owed her ten large and that’s steep for anybody, but since he could never hold down a damn job it might as well be a million because he won’t have it.
He hung her out to dry and I’m pissed about that. She sold her fucking car to get this business out of the red and she shouldn’t have had to do that either. He owes and one way or another, he’s going to pay up. Problem was, outside of talking on the phone I haven’t seen him in almost twenty years. If he walked up to me, there’s a good chance I wouldn’t recognize him.
While she’s across the hall working, I’m taking even more of my therapist’s advice and getting closure. Making a phone call from the apartment because I don’t want her having my cell number, I block the number and keep it brief when I get her voicemail.
“Changed my accounts. Get a second fucking job. You’re done living off me and check the mail. You got shit coming soon, I expect it signed.”
Hanging up, I felt good that I put that plan into motion. After I found a website that allowed you to file without an attorney, I printed it off, filled it out and put it in the mail. She can have the damn house and everything in it. I just want it over with so I can start fresh. With what I’m making off collections I should be able to buy another truck soon. Not like I have to considering Rion likes to walk or take cabs leaving me with her car but, I can’t live off her. It isn’t right and I won’t do to her what someone else did to me.
Knocking once and heading in, I see her giving something her full attention and was slightly pissed it wasn’t on me like it usually was when I came in. “How many collections do I have today?” I ask her eager to get moving. “I’m two collections away from kicking Rio’s ass.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“You listening to me at all?”
“Oh here,” she says giving me a stack. “Watch out for Lenny he’s a bit slippery and usually drunk. He doesn’t like people coming to his place. His wife doesn’t know he bets. You have to wait for him to leave. Check his file for his hangouts and pick one.”
At that moment I didn’t care about Lenny, I cared about what had her so focused she couldn’t look at me. “What’s got your attention?”
Sliding over a file I open it and then when I was finished I punched a hole in the wall. “When did you find this?”
“About two minutes before you walked in,” she says quietly. “I don’t understand what they want from me. I don’t even know who these people are!”
“They know who you are,” I remind her. “These photos are recent and I was with you when they were taken only I ain’t in them with you. This is serious, Rion. Can you think of anyone who would want to harm you?”
“What? I mean no, I don’t know! I place bets Loyal, I mean, it’s maybe not the most legit thing a girl can do, but it’s not like we rack up enemies. I was only home on weekends for the last couple of years because of work. Prior to my dad getting sick, I stayed in Ann Arbor. A few months ago, I sent a list to Lina about cops who owed but hell, it’s not like they knew I did it.”
“You still got that list?”
“Yeah but half are dead or quit their damn jobs. Plus the ones still active had their debt paid and I hired the other two. But that list wasn’t about debts it was about snuffing out bad cops.”
“Until I get answers, you stay in the building.”
“Oh hell no!” she growls. “First we get a killer security system and then we hunt the fuckers ourselves.”
“Who are we hunting Rion? We have letters and photos, that’s it. You’re staying here until I figure this out.”
“Don’t tell me what to do, Loyal.”
“I’m not telling you anything, I’m asking with authority.”
“Did you just tell a joke? I think you did,” she giggles kissing me on the mouth. “Good morning, I’m sorry I forgot to say it when you
walked in.”
“I’ll let it go this time,” I tell her, kissing her back “I need to run an errand,” I remind her. “Stay put until I get back.” Assuring me she’s working all day because there were big games going on, she locks the door behind me. Why I still use errand instead of therapist I don’t know but she understands what I mean and that’s all that mattered. After my appointment though, I had a collection at Lenny’s then, I was meeting Rio at Senior’s place and we were going to take this shit to the next level.
The day Senior came to my apartment and tossed a packet on my coffee table was one I’d never forget, I was eighteen. “Next month you leave for school,” he said, giving no room for argument “You’ve got an apartment and an allowance. My girl is too damn smart to spend her life making books.”
“I like making books, Senior,” I reminded him “I’m good at it.”
“You’re great at it,” he corrected “But this place won’t be here forever. I need to know you’re safe---taken care of. Do this for your old man, Junior. These books aren’t going anywhere.”
As always, I did what he asked me to do because I wanted him to be proud. Despite my heart not being in it I became an attorney. Not the best one, but not horrible either. I worked for a firm just off campus making shit money. Rio knew I took bets at work and school and he supported it. Lord knows I wasn’t making a living in law. Senior knew my future wasn’t in law it was just outside of it taking bets yet he pushed for an education anyway.
This place was my life, my passion. It was Senior’s life and passion too. Getting back to work, I logged the day’s bets in and went over to my apartment to shower because tonight, whether Loyal liked it or not, we were going out. Locking up, I locate my apartment keys on the ring and turn to my door when I’m rocked upside the head. Dropping the keys in an effort to protect myself I’m hit again, this time it’s a blow to the kidneys.
“Tell your boyfriend Lenny ain’t paying shit. He fucks with me again, I kill you. Your old man was a cool head, you though… you sent that crazy fucker to my house. Now I gotta listen to the wife ride my ass. Senior knew better than that, guessing now you do too.”
Just like that, Lenny leaves and I crawl to my keys letting myself into my apartment. When I finally get the door open, I don’t make it any further. Curling up in a ball on the floor seemed like the wisest plan. Lying down didn’t help the pain at all and I wanted to vomit because of it. My head was crushing me in pain and it hurt to breathe. Sometime later, Loyal walked in and saw me there and let’s just say he didn’t like what he saw.
Gently he picks me up, takes me to the bedroom, closes the curtains bathing me in darkness. When he turns me over to cover me up, I yelp out in pain and he walks out punches a wall, and comes back in. “Your head?” he asks, quietly pressing a cloth to it “Gotta get you checked out, Rion, these headaches ain’t normal.”
Taking a deep breath I tell him what happened. “It was Lenny. He came here blown out, hit me in the head to get my attention then gave me a kidney shot on his way out.”
With a mighty roar he leaves the room and I cover my ears while he destroys all the walls in my apartment. Minutes later he comes back, lifts me up, careful of my side, and takes me to the emergency room. His behavior there had security notified, twice.
‘The night of my first kill was the best sleep of my life. Crashing out knowing there’s one less psychopath in the world because of me was all I needed. Until I met her.’
~Loyal
Killing Lenny would come later. Right now I was bringing her home with two scripts. One for pain and one for inflammation. Doc said she didn’t have a concussion but that her head would feel like she did for a day or two. The hit she took in the kidneys caused no damage outside of a nasty bruise. The damage I was going to cause would leave Lenny wishing I’d killed him.
Putting her to bed after giving her the meds, I knew she’d be out for a while. Rio would be meeting me here in a half hour to talk about her safety. Pacing the floors remembering her writhing in pain, I had so much rage stored I was starting to sweat. I could feel it taking me over but I fought it. She needed me level. This was entirely my fault and I’d kick my own ass for it if I could.
When Rio walks in, he wastes no time getting in my face. “She told you not to knock on Lenny’s door, right? That you gotta wait him out.” That’s when her instructions registered and I drop my head further in shame. “Fuck, she did, didn’t she? But you didn’t listen and went anyway! This is your fault dickhead!”
“Keep your god damn voice down!”
“The fuck I will. You were supposed to be on her 24/7. Why the fuck am I even here? Did you invite me over to kick your ass?”
“Another letter showed up,” I tell him. “Then while I was running an errand, Lenny showed. I didn’t listen, I fucked up. But it’s time to take her out of the game before serious shit goes down.”
“Take her out of the--- you’re crazy, man. She’s got us, you can’t take her out. This is all she knows. We find the asshole sending her shit and we take him out. When she gives you an order next time, try listening. She knows her shit. That’s how this works. This ain’t about Lenny, we’ll handle him. What you’re asking me to be a part of is betraying my only family. That woman is all I got. If you ain’t up to the job, I’ll take over but, I will not fuck her over.”
Leaving me no choice, I sit him down and explain what I did for a living prior to coming here in detail. I explain even further what could and likely would happen to her if she were to be taken. A few times he look like he was going to lose it when I explain what I saw in the field, but he needs to know I take her safety seriously. The fact was, this is a real threat and whoever id behind this isn’t going to ransom her for political gain. The police couldn’t help, no one could. Right now I am the only resource she has and even then I’m at a disadvantage because the threat is a ghost. Rion won’t listen to me on this, thinking I’m just being paranoid, but she would listen to Rio.
I am counting on it.
Once common sense kicks in, he gets on board, though reluctantly. Promising to at least talk to her about it, he tells me that he won’t strong arm her. Both of us are counting on her ability to see reason. Rio makes it clear this could blow up in our faces, but I can’t think like that. Leaving her in his care while she slept, I step out to teach Lenny a lesson and am back within the hour.
When Lenny can walk again, he’ll think twice before approaching her with anything but kindness.
‘I need my career. That's what validates me.’ ~Anita Baker
For two days the guys have been treating me like a queen and as much as I appreciate it, I’m not dying but I do have work to do. Threatening to fire them both if they persisted in babying me, they finally give in an allow me, (cue in sarcasm), to go into the office.
Not only is VIP treatment out of character for Rio, quite frankly his over the top care was freaking me out. The Rio I know was more of a ‘suck it up, you big pussy’ type of guy. This Rio was ‘put your feet up, honey and let us take care of it’. Then there’s Loyal. He’s restless and so overprotective every noise or siren has him covering me. I know he feels guilty about Lenny, but being pissed about it is useless. There is a lesson in this and it is a simple one. Listen.
I am confident from this point on he would. Although, about an hour ago, Lenny not only came in and paid up, he paid with interest, flowers and an apology. Laughing to myself about it even now, it was the look on Lenny’s face that told me Loyal had everything to do with it. I’ve known Lenny for a while, he’s a vet and very cagey. Senior usually dealt with him personally because Lenny ran hot and cold but. After today I’m guessing he’ll think twice before acting out.
Last night I tried being intimate with Loyal, but he shot me down hard. Worried I could injure myself further, although I don’t see how, he shoved a pill in my mouth and ordered me to bed. Once that pill kicked in, I had no choice but to sleep and today I feel more like myself again. Last nig
ht though, I could hear those two chatting, but I was too out of it to be nosey. They formed a friendship and I was glad of it. My two favorite guys like each other. A girl couldn’t ask for more than that.
Well, she could, but I wasn’t going to. I knew I needed to be patient with Loyal and since he committed himself to therapy, I could see the results but the Lenny thing was still a wedge between us. We could work on his guilt together, it’s not like he planned on forgiving himself anytime soon so I decided to give him a chance to work on it before I said my piece.
Tallying up today’s collections and adding them to the system, I almost cry when I see we are three grand away from breaking even. A lot of the debts owed were losses because the person moved or simply fell off the grid. I didn’t have the resources to allow for travel yet so selling the car bridged that gap.
That, combined with the money those two pulled in, had me wondering if Senior can see this and, if he can, is he proud of us?
When I hear the knock, I look up waiting for his entrance. Loyal likes me to notice him, so when he knocks, I stop what I’m doing to make sure that happens. “Taking the Taurus to the shop for an oil change and tire rotation. Be back in a couple hours.”
“Wait,” I tell him, reaching for my bag. “Use my credit card.”
“I got it,” he says bluntly. “Rio’s coming up now.”
“What’s the rush?” I ask him as he tries to bow out. “Could you at least say goodbye properly?”
“Properly?”
“Yeah you know, your tongue my mouth. Properly.”
“Forgive me,” he says grinning, then comes around my desk, tilts my head back and gives me my goodbye.
“I miss you,” I whisper against his mouth when he pulls away.
“I’m right here,” he says quietly.
“You are but you aren’t,” I tell him “Is something wrong?”
“No,” he says schooling his features, but I know he’s full of shit. “See you in two hours.”
