Sixty Days
Page 10
“If they didn’t believe in you, they wouldn’t have paid all that money for the art classes you’ve taken. They wouldn’t encourage you to take you’re paintings to the gallery, and they certainly wouldn’t be moving, as they say, cielo y tierra, to keep all of this from your dad. Hell, from the whole family until you are ready to tell them. So, don’t you ever say that no one believes in you, because someone always will. And you can bet your cute ass that I will always be that someone.”
I smile because there is nothing to say. He’s always pulling things like this. Always making me believe in myself, fight for what I want, to let out my feelings and to not hide who I truly am. He’s my own personal cheerleader. And, it’s because of this power he has over me, that I decide to finally tell him what’s been happening lately. “It’s been happening again. My eyes have been obsessively leaking night after night.”
He chuckles at my choice of words. “I figured as much,” he plainly says.
“If you did then why the hell didn’t you confront me about it?” I once again snap at him, removing his hand from my shoulder this time.
“Well aren’t you in a pissy mood?” he says imitating my tone of voice. “I didn’t say shit because you, my heaven, are hard headed and would never admit it, even when I know the symptoms like the back of my palm. No more avoiding it, I won’t take any of that bullshit from you. It’s bad enough that I can’t be there to hold you and kiss your tears away.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what is up with me. My emotions are all over the place, I feel like a mad woman,” I tell him as I lay my head on his shoulder.
“Maybe your period is about to start and it’s bringing on the mood swings,” he says, a huge shit eating grin on his face. Something I find not funny at all.
“Shut up, shut up, shut up! I don’t care how long we’ve been together, I hate that you figure out when my period is about to start. Especially, when you do it before me. Although, I do love when you spoil me with lots of chocolate and Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.” I say, grinning back at him.
“Well…that’s what I’m here for, to spoil you. Maybe that way I can convince you to stay with me for the long haul.”
“Baby, I wouldn’t have it any other way. You’re it for me.” I give him a quick kiss on the mouth.
“Good because you’re it for me, too. Now, stop pussy footing around the main problem here and start telling me, what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” he asks, playfully poking my temple before he kisses it.
“Everyone is moving on while I seem to be stuck. I’m just— I don’t know what I am. Maybe I’m afraid, I don’t know, Mickey. I just…don’t know anymore.”
“Oh, baby, everyone is afraid of the ‘what if’s’ in life. But, if we don’t take the necessary risks then we would keep wondering, well, ‘what if?’. The key is diving head first and never having to wonder because you know you did it. I’m not saying everything you do will be successful at first, failure is part of life, but you learn from those mistakes and failures and you keep fighting. If you quit every time you fail then maybe it wasn’t what you really wanted after all, maybe your heart wasn’t really in it. But, you never really know until you try. I know I did and the outcome was magnificent, I don’t regret one minute of my effort.”
“Really?” I ask with a soft voice.
“Really. You are magnificent, Lai. Don’t you ever doubt it,” he says looking me straight in the eye.
“Wait…what?” I ask furrowing my brows.
“Yes, Lai. You. You were the one thing I was terrified about. The idea that I would never get you, that you would never return my feelings was the one thing that had me doubting myself. But, I didn’t stop fighting for you because, deep inside, I knew you were the one for me. I couldn’t give up on the first try because doing so would’ve meant giving up on the best damned thing that has ever happen in my life.
“You are my present, my future, my everything, Laylah Torres. Fighting my fears and going after what I wanted became my biggest blessing.” He gives me a chaste kiss, leaving me speechless once more. “So, is painting something you really love, something you want to make a career out of?” he finally asks.
“Yes,” I confidently tell him.
“Then fight for it. Remember, if you fall, I will always be there to catch you. I’ll always be here, right by your side.”
I give him a big fat kiss on the lips. If someone walks in on us, fuck them. “Where did all of this come from, baby?” I tease him.
“Your boyfriend is a smart cookie, Laylah. It’ll do you good to remember that,” he teases back, using my own words against me.
“God, I love you so much,” I say hugging him.
“I love you, my heaven.”
“Maybe we should be getting back, don’t you think?” I finally ask.
“You go ahead. I’m not quite ready to confront your dad. I may not be responsible for my actions if I go inside right now.”
“Mickey…” I start saying as I get up.
“Lai…don’t. I know he’s your dad, but that doesn’t give him the right to speak to you that way. He should be encouraging you, not breaking you down. Next time he pulls a shitty stunt like this, I’m giving him a piece of my mind and I won’t regret a damn thing about it.”
“You really are my knight in shining armor.” I smile down at him.
“Don’t you ever forget it, baby,” he says, returning my smile.
“See ya in the reins of hell, otherwise known as the family room.” As I head toward the door, I’m rewarded with his amazing heart breaking laughter.
I have once again lost all sense of time. With Mickey hours always seem like minutes. Mickey is a fighter, he doesn’t give up and he sure as hell doesn’t let me give up either. He’s always encouraging me, believing in me, and I have no clue how I could’ve been so stupid to doubt him in the first place.
Because love is always being there for that special someone. Love is always accepting the good with the bad. Love is unconditional and knows no boundaries.
I finally make it to the family room where everyone is in full chatter. I quietly look for a place to sit, but I have no such luck. That’s when I spot Mama. She is sitting in what she has claimed to be her chair and she’s looking straight at me with her angelic smile, patting the arm rest of her recliner. I make my move to her.
“Hey, there you are,” my mom says as I take a seat on the proffered arm rest. “We’ve been wondering where you’ve been.”
“Yeah, where have you been? And how dare you leave me alone with all these crazy old people!” Ari teasingly says.
I weakly smile and say, “I was just outside.”
“Doing what exactly? Mickey went out there like an hour ago and I haven’t seen him since. What were you up to, Laylah?” This coming from my overbearing brother who has apparently made it home from his date.
“Leave her alone, Kevin. So what if they were out there alone? Mickey knows better, he would never do anything to her,” Mario says.
“Seriously?” Kev replies giving him his death glare.
“He’s right,” dad says surprising the shit out of all of us. The entire room is in complete and utter silence. Something that rarely happens when the Gonzalez family gets together. “Miguel won’t try anything with your sister. For the love of God, he looks at her as if she were his own sister.” Sheesh, thanks, dad! “Plus, I believe our dear Miguel has a girlfriend now. Isn’t that right, Laylah?”
“Yep, I believe it is, Dad,” I say coolly. “And, to answer your question, oh-so sweet brother of mine that in no way is a pain in my a—” I stop and rethink my words because of the look Mama is giving me. I clear my throat and continue, “I mean, behind. I was actually on the phone.” I wing it, how bad could it go?
“Oh! Were you talking to that boyfriend of yours, sweetie?” And there goes my dad, proving how bad could it go.
“You have a boyfriend?!?!” Practically everyone in the room shouts, su
rprise filling their voices. Of course, Mickey decides to walk back inside right at that moment.
“You have a boyfriend, niña?” Carla asks in her heavy accent. Just as Mickey was about to say something, he shuts his mouth.
“Why is it so hard for you all to believe that I have a boyfriend?” I ask to no one in particular.
“Why didn’t you tell me about this before, sweetheart?” Mom asks at the same time that Kev asks, “Who is this douchebag and where can I find him so I can kick his ass?” Chino chimes in with, “Awww, Laylah, you are breaking my heart.”
“Dream on, Vega!” Kev yells back at him, hitting him in the back of his head.
And, so the headache begins. As almost everyone starts talking at the same time, asking me questions I can’t really answer.
“Well…this is a new turn of events. You, with a boyfriend, can’t say I’m not surprised. Although, it must not be serious since you’ve been keeping him a secret. Is he so ugly that you’re ashamed of him? Or, maybe, he’s ashamed of you,” Mary remarks. Sweet, sweet Mary who I seriously want to strangle.
“Mary!” both Ari and Angel reprimand her, with a tsk coming from Mama.
“It’s not like that at all,” I snap at her. “He’s just—” I stop, dreamily sighing as I think of a way to express what I feel for Mickey without giving too much away.
“Dios mio, you’re in love!” Both Carla and mom exclaim at the same time.
“Yeah…yeah, I am,” I admit. No need to hide what is true even though I can’t admit who the man I love is. “He’s amazing. He treats me like I’m his angel. He’s so considerate, funny, supportive…yeah, I’m in love.” I look at Mickey and find that he’s looking right at me with those dreamy eyes of his that express how much he loves me back.
I look away as soon as I notice mom eying me suspiciously. “And I’m not ashamed of him, nor is he ashamed of me. We just like to keep things private and close to our hearts,” I add, glaring at Mary. She glares back.
“I still don’t like this, but he seems to make you happy, sis,” Kev adds, breaking my staring contest with Mary.
“You do look happy, Lai. After hearing what you just said, I’m sure that your boyfriend, wherever he is, is feeling the same way about you. Maybe even more,” Mickey says, winking at me.
“He sure is…” both Mama and Lola say at the same time.
“Hey! Where have you been, Mickey? What is that you’ve got with ya?” Kev asks.
“While you all were talking, I remembered I forgot something that I wanted to give to mom and Mama, so I went to my house to get it.” They both eye him with curiosity. “It’s um—” he stops to clear his throat. “It’s that painting you’ve both wanted,” he states, revealing one of my paintings. It’s one of his favorites. He fought Mama and Lola tooth and nail for this painting. The fact that he is giving it to them proves that he’s sticking it to the man and making a point. I couldn’t love this man any more than I already do.
“Awww…thank you, mijo! But, we can’t accept this. It’s your favorite and we both know that you deserve it,” Lola says.
“Oh, thank God!” Mickey says, full of relief. “I really do love this one.”
“That’s a really nice painting.” My dad admires and I can’t help but feel proud. Maybe I can do this.
“Yeah…” Angel says, also admiring my painting.
“I can’t help but notice that both yours and Mama’s house are filled with these wonderful paintings, Miguel. Are they from the same artist?” my dad asks him.
“They sure are, sir,” Mickey declares, a proud grin lighting up his face.
“I think they are really wonderful, we should get some for our home. Laylah, what do you think?” my mom asks.
“Dianita, no le deberias de estar preguntando a la niña. That’s a biased opinion that you would be receiving from her part,” Mama says with a mischievous grin. That tells me she’s catching up to Mickey’s objective by bringing the painting to them.
“Why is it that I shouldn’t ask her, Mama? I know my daughter, and when it comes to art, she’s good at this sort of stuff,” my mom says, confusion written all over her face.
I clear my throat and say, “It’s because they are mine, Mom. I painted them.”
“You did??!” Once again, practically everyone in the room exclaims at the same time. I’m definitely on a roll tonight.
“Yeah, they are all mine. There’s also a collection showing in a gallery down by the city. I’ve been doing pretty well with all of them there,” I confess.
“How is that possible if you’ve been living in California?” Kev asks. By the expression shadowing my parent’s face I can see that they are wondering the same thing.
“Well, the thing is, I dropped out of business school, moved here, and have been taking classes at an art school nearby,” I reluctantly admit.
“And exactly how long has this been going on?” my dad asks.
“Almost a year and a half, now.”
“I don’t believe this!” he exclaims at the same time mom asks “How could you keep this from us?”
“Because you guys don’t listen!” I snap at them, standing up from my seat. “I’m old enough to make my own decisions and I want this, this is what I love to do. I don’t want a business, nor do I want to be stuck inside a stuffy office signing papers and doing shi— stuff like that. It’s just not my thing,” I say, exasperated.
“You should have come to us with that, honey,” my mom says, coming to where I am and giving me a side hug.
“The hell she should of have!” my dad exclaims. “I will not stand for this, Laylah. You are either going back to studying something that could actually land you a real job or I am cutting you out,” he finally exclaims. Ironically, those are the same words he once told my brother.
“Carlos!” both mom and Mama say, the first one in surprise and the last one reprimanding him.
“No! My mind is made up, just as hers seems to be. The decision is yours to make, Laylah,” he says, giving me an ultimatum.
“I’ve been doing this for almost a year without your money, Dad. I think we both already know what my decision is,” I tell him, standing up taller, showing him confidence.
He takes a deep breath and says, “Very well, if that’s your decision. I have never been less proud of you than I am in this moment.” He walks out of the house. My mom gives me a quick hug and kiss before following him, leaving the entire room quiet and full of shock.
“Excuse me,” I say as I head upstairs for the comfort of my pretend bedroom before I break down in front all of them.
I hear Mama calling after me and Mickey whispering my name as I pass by him. I don’t stop to listen to what they have to say. I know they are concerned, but I just need to leave that god-awful room. As soon as I reach the top of the stairs, I run to the room where I finally break down and cry.
Chapter Eight
W
hat my dad said completely shattered me. His expectations and wants have always been clear, I’ve just never understood why he won’t accept the choices we make for ourselves. He’s always had this plan for us and the same threats if we don’t follow those plans to a tee. I may have disappointed him, but he has lost my respect. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look at my dad the same way again. And, that fact adds more pain to the wound he has left inside my heart.
I’m almost heaving with the loss of tears and I find myself in that state of in between awake and asleep when I hear the door open. My body and all five senses tell me it’s Mickey.
“Hey, baby, are you awake?” he whispers into the poorly lit room. As soon as he sees me, he rushes forward, lays in the bed next to me and holds me. “Shhh…baby. Don’t cry. It breaks me seeing you like this,” he says, kissing me all over my face and rocking me, soothing me.
“Why would he do that? Why can’t he accept the person that I am?” I ask sobbing.
“God only knows, my heaven. I wish I knew the answer to that.
I’ve been trying to understand your dad for years and I still don’t get him,” he answers back, stroking my hair, drying what little tears come out of me.
I rest my head in that perfect spot between his neck and his shoulder that seems to have been made just for me.
“I’m sorry,” he softly says as he kisses the top of my head.
“For what?” I ask moving my head so I can look at his face.
“If I wouldn’t have pulled that little stunt none of this would’ve happened.” I can hear the sorrow in his voice.
“It would have happened eventually, regardless. There was no way of stopping this, he will never change his mind about any of this,” I say, stating the painful fact about my father.
“God, baby, this is all so fucked up. He made you cry, he turned that gorgeous smile of yours into a frown. Want me to punch him for it? Because I will do it, if you say so, I’ll do it. Without hesitation.”
“That sounds good,” I softly state returning to my perfect spot. “If only we could solve all of our problem with our fists, but we can’t. Violence only creates more problems.”
“You know what? Forget about him. Better yet, show him you can succeed with or without him. Prove that he was wrong. Prove that there is no reason for him to be disappointed. Prove that you’re the better man…err, woman.”
“Nicely pointed out,” I tease, already starting to feel better.
“Shut up,” he says chuckling.
“I’m afraid,” I say so softly I can barely hear my own voice.
“Of what, my heaven?” he asks, serious once more.
“I’m afraid that when he finds out about us he would do anything within his power to break us apart. I’m afraid of losing you,” I confess.
“Not possible. You’re stuck with me, Laylah Torres. All that’s left is to change that last name of yours. In my opinion, Laylah Vega sounds so much better. You’re mine forever. Never forget that, baby.”