by Megan Kelly
TARA SPED ACROSS the emergency room, out of breath, her heart thundering. It had taken her forty minutes to drive into Kansas and locate the hospital then find parking. All the while, terror built in her chest. She wouldn’t be calm again until she saw the extent of the injury. The sharp smell of antiseptic sawed through her lungs as she rushed to the desk.
“I’m Tara Montgomery,” she told the desk nurse. “You have my son, Jimmy, or maybe James, Montgomery here. I heard he hurt his arm.”
“Yes, ma’am.” The woman pawed through a pile of clipboards. “I have his forms right here. I think he’s waiting for Doctor Vargas at the moment.”
“I need to see him. Now.”
“Yes, ma’am. You’ll need to sign this form to have him treated. We obtained a preliminary guardian’s signature so he could be evaluated. Do you have your insurance information on you? I’ll need to make a copy of your card.”
“Can’t that wait?”
The woman’s forehead crinkled as she peered at the paper. “Now this is strange. Payment has already been authorized. I wonder if someone signed the wrong form.” She turned to the computer and clicked keys.
Tara held on to her temper by the skin of her teeth. Everyone had a job to do; this woman wasn’t to blame for Tara’s dread. That honor lay with Dylan. She dug out her wallet and her insurance card and thrust them at the nurse.
“Thank you, ma’am. I’ll also need a form of identification with a picture until I get this straightened out. A driver’s license will do, or an employee ID, or a—”
“Look,” Tara said. “I understand you have procedures to follow. I’ll be glad to fill out those forms and whatever needs to be done to get my son treated. But I need to see Jimmy first. I need to see him now.”
“I understand you’re upset, ma’am.”
“No, I don’t think you do understand. I’ll take the clipboard with me and fill out your forms. Just tell me where Jimmy is.”
A woman appeared at Tara’s side. She wore magenta scrubs and an air of authority. “What’s the problem here, Martha?”
“This woman,” she indicated Tara, “refuses to fill out the proper forms to get her son treated. I’ve tried to explain the process, but…”
The woman’s shrug was the last straw for Tara. Tears of frustration and anxiety and anger filled her eyes. Tara turned to the newcomer. “I am not refusing treatment for my son. I just want to see him. I need to talk to whoever is treating him to find out what’s wrong and what he or she plans to do before I okay any procedures.”
“You haven’t seen your son since he arrived?”
Tara shook her head. “I was at work. I only just got here.”
The woman took her arm. “Come back with me. I didn’t realize.”
With a glare at the desk nurse, the older woman turned Tara toward double swinging doors. Her solicitous insistence worried Tara about the extent of Jimmy’s injuries.
“I have four children,” the woman said. “I’m Clara, by the way. On behalf of St. Cecilia’s, let me apologize for your wait and assure you your son is in good hands.”
The tightness in Tara’s chest eased a little. “Thank you.”
Beyond the doors, the examination rooms were quieter and busier. People cried, both children and adults, and not all of them patients. Tara swallowed her panic.
“He’s just in here.” Clara indicated a wall of curtains to their right. She pulled back an edge and poked her head in. “You have a visitor.”
With a flourish like a magician’s assistant, Clara slid open the curtain and revealed the room within.
“Jimmy.” Tara hurried toward him, taking in his pale face, red eyes and white sling.
“Mommy!” He burst into tears and tried to lift his arms to hug her, jerking back in pain and crying harder.
“Tara.” Dylan rose from the chair beside the exam table where he’d been holding Jimmy’s uninjured hand. Lily rushed forward and hugged her legs, burying her wet face against her thigh.
“He was climbing on a railing,” Dylan said. “It happened in an instant.”
“Don’t try to lift your arm, honey.” She bent and embraced Jimmy carefully, kissing his cheek, inhaling his sweaty scent. She closed her eyes for a brief prayer of thanks. “Are you all right?”
Jimmy shook his head no, and Tara laughed. “That was a silly question, wasn’t it?”
Just seeing him brought her relief. It erased the image of him she couldn’t help but conjure up, bloody and mangled and calling her name. She brushed a hand over Lily’s hair, realizing the girl was sobbing. “It’s okay, Lily. Jimmy’s going to be okay.”
“I was watching him out the window,” Dylan said. “One minute, he was talking to Al—”
She narrowed her eyes at him, waiting for him to continue. “Go on. I’m listening.”
“He was talking to someone and the next second, he was falling off the far side of the railing. Just about four feet,” Dylan rushed on, as though that were reassuring. “But he landed badly.”
“Who was beside him? You said he was talking to someone?”
Dylan grimaced. “Albert Summerfield.”
Tara gasped. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“We were at some country club. They wanted to take Jimmy to lunch, but I wouldn’t let them take him off by themselves. So Lily and I went along.”
She stared at him for a moment, unable to deal with this revelation on top of everything else. “Don’t talk to me.”
She turned to Jimmy.
“Tara,” Dylan said, “you’ve got to listen. I didn’t let them take him away by himself, which is what they wanted. He was fine just a minute before. Moments, seconds before.”
“Just stop talking.” She hugged Jimmy and he nestled into the hollow of her collarbone.
“It happened really fast,” Dylan went on. “You know how these things happen. You’re around kids all the time. They do something simple and get hurt before you can blink.”
She straightened and glared at him. “He didn’t get hurt until you were watching him. He wouldn’t have done ‘something simple’ today and wound up in the hospital if you’d been more careful with him. I’m not even going to ask what Albert Summerfield was doing within fifty feet of my son.”
“Tara, you know I’d never do anything to hurt Jimmy or let anyone else hurt him. I was watching him.”
“Watching him fall over a railing, apparently.” She turned away and smoothed down Jimmy’s hair, trailing her hand down his cheek.
“Albert went to Admissions on his way out to arrange payment for this before they left.”
“They? He and Marnie?” She gritted her teeth. “Don’t talk to me, Dylan. I really can’t deal with any more from you right now.”
“I understand. The priority here is Jimmy. We’ll discuss this later, all right?”
She wished someone else would appear who could answer her questions. Talking to Dylan—being in the same room with Dylan—made her want to do him bodily damage. “How bad is his arm? Has a doctor seen him?”
“We’re waiting for X-rays, then some doctor—Vegas, I think—is going to review them and let us know what needs to be done.”
She kissed Jimmy’s head and patted Lily again. “What do you mean, you’re waiting for X-rays? For the results or to have them taken in the first place?”
“Radiology is backed up. Someone told me ten minutes, but that was about fifteen minutes ago.”
She shot him an impatient look. “So you’ve just been sitting here, hoping they remember to treat Jimmy eventually?”
His nostrils flared. “I can’t exactly leave him and Lily to go chasing down the hall looking for someone who can help.”
“Well, I can.” She’d find Clara and see if she could hurry the process. She eased Lily onto a chair and turned at the curtain. “Try to keep Jimmy from falling off the table, will you?”
A TRANSVERSE INCOMPLETE fracture of the right ulna. In simple words, Jimmy would be in a s
eries of casts for a while but should be fine thereafter.
Tara watched him sleeping, his baseball mitt night-light shadowing his face. Lily had silently cried herself to sleep, which Tara had only realized when she’d checked on her minutes before. Salty trails marked her cheeks and matted her hair. Guilt pinched her. She hated to think she’d overlooked Lily’s needs.
They’d stopped for ice cream on the way home, the four of them tucked in her car, as Dylan had no vehicle. Part of her wanted to let him walk home.
Fortunately, he’d stopped trying to talk to her. She didn’t care if he felt guilty. He should feel guilty. It was only luck that Jimmy had put out his arm to break his fall. He could have banged his head against the ground.
She looked up at a sound at the door. Dylan stood, back-lit by the dimmed hallway light.
“Lily’s still asleep,” he said quietly. “How’s Jim doing?”
“Jimmy is fine.” No thanks to you. She rose and forced herself closer to Dylan. She still wasn’t sure she wouldn’t pummel him. She wanted to snap his arm bone.
He didn’t move from the doorway. “Can I talk to you?”
“Not in here. I don’t want to wake the kids.”
“Fine. In the front room? Wherever works for you.”
She nodded and he backed away, letting her lead. In the middle of the room, she pivoted, arms crossed protectively, holding her emotions in. She felt like she’d shatter into a million shards of sharp glass if she didn’t maintain control.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m more sorry than you know that Jimmy got hurt while I was with him.”
“But you weren’t with him. You were watching him through a window, from another room.” Her voice shook with fury and she reined herself in. “It’s not even as if you were taking care of Lily and couldn’t be with him. You weren’t really watching either one of them that closely.”
“I was. Tara, I had my eye on them the whole time.”
“While you had drinks with Albert and Marnie?”
“Iced tea.”
She waved a hand. “Whatever.”
“Well, it’s not like I was drunk or on my way to it.”
“It’s not like you were with the children, either.”
“I’m sorry. I thought they were safe. I made a mistake.”
Tara inhaled sharply and turned her back to him.
“I know it’s not enough to say I’m sorry. There aren’t words that will fix this or explain how bad I feel about Jimmy.”
She shook her head. He had that right.
“I love him, Tara. It kills me to wonder if I could have done something to prevent this.”
She heard the pain in his voice and believed him. Maybe he did deserve forgiveness. Maybe the same thing would have happened if he’d been standing two feet from Jimmy and Lily. Maybe it would have happened if she’d been there.
But he’d betrayed her trust.
“I told you I didn’t want the Summerfields around Jimmy. I said it here, when my parents came by. I said it before the wedding. I said it at Lily’s party.”
She spun to face him, burning with cold blue fire. “Then you disregarded my wishes. You thought you knew better. You thought it was no big deal. But it is a big deal, Dylan. To me.”
“I’m sorry. They said they might drop the case.”
She raised an eyebrow, skeptical. “Did they? Did they actually say that? Or did Albert hint around at it?”
Dylan’s face went pale.
“I know how they work, with their manipulations and half promises. Just because you don’t like Jamison doesn’t mean all the problems between him and his parents were his fault.”
“They weren’t ever told about Jimmy. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was helping.”
The fire had burned through her. She felt dead inside, filled with lifeless ash. She studied him. “You know? I believe you.”
His shoulders fell in obvious relief.
“But it doesn’t matter. You betrayed my trust.”
“Does it count for nothing that I was trying to help?”
“I’d like you to leave.”
“What? Leave?” The Adam’s apple moved in his throat as he swallowed hard. “You mean, leave the room? Because I can give you more time. Time to forgive me.”
“No, I mean I wish you didn’t live here anymore. I just can’t figure out how to make that happen without hurting Lily.” Tara shrugged. “She’s not ready to adjust to something new, even life without you.”
His eyes nearly bulged from his head. “What are you talking about?”
“Ideally, you’d go live at that condo you won’t sell and won’t sublet, and Lily would stay with me. Like extended babysitting.” She frowned. “But for some reason, you’re growing on her and I can’t separate you.”
“That’s my child you’re talking about. What makes you think I’d let her stay with you?”
“Isn’t that the whole purpose of our marriage? To get Lily settled? And I’m the one who can do that, right?”
“I’m not going anywhere without her.”
“I know. More’s the pity.”
Dylan turned on his heel and stalked out the front door.
Tara watched him go, detached from any feeling.
DYLAN SLAMMED his open hand into the wall at his condo. Damn her. She’d become the ice queen, cold and unreachable. He couldn’t blame her for being angry. Hell, he was mad at himself, even though he knew he couldn’t have prevented Jimmy’s fall if he’d been right there beside him.
But he hadn’t been. Albert Summerfield had gone out to tell the kids it was time to eat. Albert had been standing two feet from Jimmy when the boy had backed up against the wall, scrambled onto the railing, then fallen.
Dylan looked around his condo, stunned by Tara’s attack. He hadn’t planned to sell it, but he hadn’t gotten around to subletting it, either. He and Joe had come here the night he’d found out Lily thought he was the bogeyman. He’d come here during the day sometimes, on his way home from work, just to sit by himself and listen to the peace.
He sure had quiet now, although peace proved elusive. This place was only four walls and some furniture. Tara’s duplex was home.
And if he ever wanted to return there, he’d better do some hard thinking about his priorities.
The “someday” when he was going to settle down and be a dad and husband had arrived.
DYLAN DID SOME FAST MOVING in the next few days. Tara barely talked to him, but he kept his tongue still and his head low. If she didn’t notice him, he could finish all the things he had to do before approaching her.
The first major miracle he needed happened without his intervention. Albert and Marnie Summerfield showed up on Tara’s doorstep.
“We brought something for Jimmy,” Albert said.
Tara swallowed her trepidation and let them in.
“Hi, Grandpa Summerfield,” Jimmy said from his spot by the coffee table. He tried to arrange his knights and soldiers left-handed around a cylindrical oatmeal container he imagined as a castle. “Hi, Marnie.”
Tara jerked in surprise. Jimmy greeted them as if he’d known them forever or he saw them every day. As if Albert hadn’t been partially responsible for Jimmy’s fall.
As if he liked him.
What was going on here?
“Hello, Jimmy,” Albert said. “That’s a fine cast you have.”
“Is that a sleeve or a bandage?” Marnie asked.
Jimmy grinned, his still-wobbly tooth hanging lopsided. He raised his right arm with its dark blue cast. “They come in colors now. I got to pick what I wanted. I almost got yellow instead.”
“Colors?” Marnie shook her head in amazement, probably not feigned. “What will they think of next?”
Jimmy tilted his head to one side. “I don’t know.”
“I’m going to talk to your mother for a minute,” Albert said. “If we could go someplace?”
Filled with misgiving, she led him
to the kitchen where she could still hear Jimmy’s voice. “What is it?”
“First, I want to say I’m sorry for my part in Jimmy’s fall.” Albert swallowed. “He was playing fine, both him and Lily. The patio at that end is made for kids. It’s covered from the sun, and has some toys. Beads on wire tables, magnet games. Calm toys.”
“I didn’t realize it was a play area.” Why hadn’t Dylan explained? Because of the guilt he felt?
“It’s almost an extension of the dining room, except for the window between us. I didn’t know he could climb so fast.”
“I understand.” Words wouldn’t change anything, but she could see how remorseful he felt.
“He wasn’t scared. He just wanted to play longer,” Albert said. “We’ve talked about it, Marnie and I, and we’re dropping the custody case.”
A kick to the solar plexus couldn’t have dazed Tara more. She stared, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“We realized we can’t keep up with a child of Jimmy’s age and energy.”
“Thank you.” Tara couldn’t feel her face. She hoped her words were intelligible.
“If it’s not too much to ask, would you consider some partial holiday visits with the two of you? And we could hire a nanny to help us if you’d allow him to come to our home.”
“I think we can arrange something.”
Tara saw them to the door, unable to believe her luck. After setting up Finding Nemo for the children, she ran to her room and cried tears of relief. Mixed in were tears of sorrow over how she’d treated Dylan.
THAT NIGHT, Dylan answered his phone, his heart racing to see Tara’s number on his display.
“Sure, I understand,” he told her.
He turned to the kids. “Mom/Miss Tara is going to be about an hour late. She’s going to talk to her parents and wants us to eat without her.”
He considered whether it was time to teach the children to set the table.
Jimmy fisted his eyes with his good hand, while Lily’s tears slipped silently down her face.
“Hey, now.” He squatted down and gathered them in a hug. “She’s coming back soon. What’s with the grumpy faces? Dinner’s in the oven, and then I’ve got a surprise for afterward.”
