If I Loved You (Hollywood Hearts 1)

by Jean C. Joachim

He laughed, reaching for the condom he had left lying on the bed.

  “No rush but, hell, I need you now!” He was almost panting.

  Meg opened her legs wider. He entered her slowly, emitting a sigh. She groaned as they were joined. Once he was inside her, she dug her fingers into his shoulders. He began to thrust slowly, so slowly it drove her mad. She moved her hips up and down.

  “Faster?”

  “God…” she closed her eyes, “yes…”

  “Been waiting too long to hurry this,” he muttered.

  She opened her eyes to see him staring right back at her. His eyes were so dark with desire they were almost black. She read his hunger, his need for her. Resting her head in the crook of his neck, his chest hair tickled her breasts as he moved in and out of her. Her body was on fire.

  Passion burned in her belly, spreading out to her limbs. She raised her knee, allowing him to plunge in deeper. He filled her completely. Her orgasm grew slowly, the pressure mounting with each thrust. She closed her mouth over his shoulder as her control melted under his heat. When she arched her head back with a long moan, he kissed her neck, running his tongue up and down its narrow column.

  With a stifled scream, she reached fulfillment a second time. Her muscles clenched tight before releasing warmth to all parts of her body. Meg had never experienced anything so intense with any other man. She opened her eyes. Chaz continued to pump into her. She rested her hands on his rump, her fingers riding up and down with the movement of his hips.

  Suddenly he picked up speed, thrusting into her hard and fast. Chaz groaned loudly as his release took him. After a few hard thrusts, he stopped. They lay breathing heavily, their sweat gathered, making a soft sucking noise between their stomachs. His fingers laced with hers. He held her hands captive above her head on the bed. His lips sought hers for a slow, gentle kiss.

  “I’ve never…” but her words were drowned out by another kiss.

  Reluctantly, he released her hands before pushing up on his elbows.

  The silence between them was easy as tender touches and kisses replaced words. Meg pushed the hair back from his forehead and then kissed him there. He kissed the tip of her nose.

  Chaz pulled out and went into the bathroom. Megan covered herself with a sheet to her waist. A few minutes later he returned, walking straight and tall. She noticed his gaze settle on her breasts as he slipped into the bed. Meg cuddled up, resting her cheek on his chest, listening to the steady, quick rhythm of his heart. His fingers combed through her hair.

  “You’re lovely,” he whispered, “in every way.” Meg grinned up at him, and he kissed her hair.

  “Tomorrow’s Saturday. No work. Stay?” She looked up at him.

  “What am I, a dog? Stay...I suppose you want me to beg and come too?”

  She burst out laughing.

  “No, you already did both of those!” They both got completely hysterical. Meg laughed her way to the edge of the bed and almost fell out, but Chaz grabbed her hand and hauled her back in.

  “I’m hungry.” Megan sat up, putting her hands on his shoulders.

  “What do you have?”

  “How does ice cream and hot fudge sauce sound?”

  “Let’s go!” Chaz bounded out of bed and grabbed his boxers.

  Meg wiggled into her jersey dress and took his hand, leading him into the kitchen. “Hmm,” she hummed while opening the refrigerator door, “mint chip, chocolate chip, vanilla, or cookie dough?”

  “You have all those in there?” Chaz peeked in.

  “Mark loves ice cream.”

  “I’ll take mint chip.”

  “Coming up. I’ll take chocolate chip.” Meg handed the two ice cream containers to Chaz.

  Next, she opened the cabinet and rooted around.

  “Bowls?” He asked her.

  She pointed to another cabinet. Reaching far into a bottom cabinet she found what she wanted.

  “Yes!” Pulling out a jar of fudge sauce, she exclaimed, “To the microwave!”

  They filled small bowls with ice cream and then drizzled the melted fudge sauce on top. Each dug into their confection, devouring it until they were halfway finished. “Switch!” Meg started spooning her ice cream into Chaz’s mouth. They finished the ice cream by feeding each other. Licking drips from each other’s chins soon became licking hot fudge sauce from other body parts.

  Chaz smeared a glob of warm fudge sauce on her nipple before attacking it with his mouth.

  Her moans got him started. She reached down to find him hard. “Ice cream as an aphrodisiac.” Meg giggled.

  “You’re the aphrodisiac.” Chaz buried his face in her chest before hauling her over his shoulder, “Enough. Time for love, woman!” He carried a giggling Meg back to the bedroom.

  Chaz tossed her down on the bed only to pounce on top of her a second later. Looming over her, he kissed her hard, demanding a passionate response. Meg didn’t disappoint him, kissing him back with equal passion while wrapping her legs around his waist. He plunged into her, filling her completely. He thrust into her hard and fast while she moved her hips in rhythm with his. Sweat gathered between them. Groans filled the air as their bodies tangled in heated passion. They climaxed quickly and together.

  Exhausted, Meg switched out the light. Chaz lay on his back, his arms folded over his head. She nestled her head into his shoulder. He immediately slid his arm around her back before folding his other arm around her, cradling her against him. A happy sound escaped her throat as she snuggled closer.

  “Gotta make sure you don’t disappear during the night,” he whispered, drawing her hair back to plant a kiss on her forehead.

  Unable to form words, Meg closed her eyes and sleep quickly followed.

  * * * *

  The warm June sun stabbed them in the eyes at six o’clock the next morning. Chaz grumbled and rolled over, burying his face in the pillow. Meg got up to close the curtains. She crawled back into bed, cuddling up to his warm body. After he pulled her close, his hands began to wander.

  In response, she ran her hand down his back and over his rump. When he rolled over to face her, Chaz revealed he was fully ready to make love.

  “What they say is true…morning wood?” Megan wrapped her fingers around his erection.

  “Am I your first?” He cupped her cheek, his voice soft and inquiring.

  “No way!”

  “Then this shouldn’t be news.”

  “I didn’t stay over at Alan’s. Kind of a quickie then goodnight. Nothing like I had last night with you…twice.” She focused her gaze on his face. “Pleased with your little self, aren’t you?”

  His smile reached from ear to ear.

  “I aim to satisfy my woman.” Chaz ran his hand down her hair.

  “Oh? And now I’m your woman?” Her tone was teasing but she wanted to know where she stood with him.

  A sheepish look swept across his face. She laughed as he reached for her, enveloping her in his strong arms. He started to nibble on her neck. The flames lying dormant from the night before leapt up as if only smoldering inside her. Everywhere he touched her he created excitement. His hands, his tongue, and his lips brought hot desire to her veins. She ran her hands up and down his chest, each finger pressing into his muscles as she ground her hips against him. His hand under her knee pulled her leg up next to his side so he could easily slip two fingers inside her.

  “Oh my God,” she exclaimed and closed her eyes.

  He pumped his fingers into her, listening to her moan with every thrust.

  “Please…oh God, Dunc…” Fire threatened to consume her as desire built to a crescendo.

  He removed his fingers to reach around for her behind. Cupping it, he squeezed, drawing her right up against his rock-hard erection. He covered himself. She was so wet, he slipped into her easily. Megan was almost panting. Chaz closed his eyes and groaned, burying his face in her neck.

  “You are so…so…amazing,” he whispered.

  The lovers rocked toge
ther, connected body and soul. Meg shut off her mind, letting her senses take over. Her heart opened and permitted him to sweep in and stake his claim. The words “I love you” bubbled up in her throat, but she refused to give them voice. Instead, they dissolved and disappeared. Heat shot up her body like a newly launched missile. She tried to let go but years of tight control were hard to overcome. She tensed.

  “Let it happen, little chick,” Chaz murmured to her and finally his insistent, steady thrusting broke down her defenses. Her body moved in his rhythm. Sweat broke out on his forehead, dripping onto her neck. Raising himself up on his elbows, he lowered his mouth to her breast and sucked. The zing raced right from her peak to her core, destroying any vestige of control she had. The orgasm rose up in her like a tidal wave, washing over her body, speeding currents of electric satisfaction to every nerve ending. She shut her eyes and cried out in joy.

  Feeling his stare, she opened her eyes again to find his black with passion as he pumped into her hard and fast. Then his eyes shut. Color spread up from his chest to his neck as he groaned, uttering her name. His hair clumped a bit on his forehead bathed in sweat. He opened his eyes slowly and Megan could swear she saw the look of love in them. However, it vanished as quickly as it appeared, replaced by an afterglow.

  Chaz continued to move inside her for a few more moments, prolonging her gratification as well as his own. “Don’t want to stop…don’t ever want to stop,” he muttered.

  Megan raised her palm to his cheek and stroked his growing stubble. It’s sexy as hell…he’s sexy as… His lips interrupted her thoughts as they brushed lightly and sweetly against her own. “That’s one helluva way to wake up,” she said, a smile pulling up the corners of her mouth.

  “At your service. I can arrange to wake you up like this every morning.”

  As soon as the words were out of his mouth, a chill settled over her heart. He moved back away from her. Something in her chest tightened. Every morning? I’d love to have him here every morning. Never happen. Surprised at her own reaction, Meg’s expression became shuttered.

  She grabbed her robe from a chair near the bed and slipped it on. “Coffee,” she said, padding toward the kitchen. Chaz disappeared into the bathroom as she left the room. When she got to the counter in the kitchen, Meg leaned against it for a moment. Stop it. Stop it. Don’t think about it. He’s a movie star. You’re going to get your heart broken. Back off. Just have fun. But I don’t do recreational sex.

  She went on automatic pilot, setting up the coffee and pulling out fresh fruit and yogurt for their breakfast. By the time the coffee started to drip into the pot, Chaz appeared, wearing his boxers and pulling his t-shirt over his head.

  “Good morning.”

  She returned his greeting then bustled around the kitchen, avoiding his gaze, setting the table, and putting out the food.

  “Hey,” he said, grabbing her from behind by her arms. “Slow down. I don’t bite.”

  She tried to avoid his stare but couldn’t.

  “What’s wrong?” His brown eyes became pools of concern as his eyebrows arched.

  “Nothing. Nothing.”

  “I just had the best…uh…morning of my life, and I thought you did, too. Now you won’t look at me? What happened?”

  He cornered her between the kitchen table and the refrigerator. Lifting her chin with his fingers, he forced her to look at him.

  “Megan…it’s me, Dunc. What’s up?”

  She looked into his eyes and softened. Her hands grabbed onto his waist as she stepped nearer to him. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. Tears began to form as a tiny tremor of fear whizzed through her chest. She rested her cheek on his chest unable to hold back a few tears. Wiping them away with her hand, she hoped to keep her emotions away from his scrutiny, but Chaz held her out at arm’s length. No escaping now. She hung her head, still trying to hide.

  “If those were tears of joy, well, I’d understand but…” a lopsided grin spread across his face.

  She shook her head. “It was great. You were fantastic…best ever.”

  “Then why Niagara Falls?” He rested his hand on her hair.

  “I don’t want a commitment.” Don’t leave me.

  Chaz snapped his head back as if he had been slapped. His face shuttered.

  “Who said anything about a commitment?” He dropped his hands from her arms.

  Great! Nice work, idiot! “I didn’t mean that…I meant…I don’t want to…to get attached to you. You’re a movie star, meeting fabulous women all the time. You’re gone most of the year. I don’t want to fall in love with you just to get my heart stomped on.”

  “Who said anything about love?” Chaz stepped back.

  Megan held his gaze. She spied a quick flicker of pain flash and disappear.

  “Nobody…and that’s good, right?” Meg brushed a tear off her cheek.

  “A bit of unbridled lust between friends.” He lounged against the refrigerator.

  She grabbed the table behind her as his words hit her like a gale force wind.

  “Do you mean that?” The sting of tears returned to the back of her eyes. She took a deep breath to steady herself.

  “Do you?” His arms crossed over his chest.

  “Why do I always feel like I’m playing chess when I’m talking to you?” She cocked her head slightly.

  “Maybe because we are. Isn’t that the way it is between men and women? A chess game. He moves a pawn, she sacrifices a bishop, in the end its checkmate…for life. Isn’t that what the woman wants?”

  “Not with the wrong man.”

  “And how do you determine who the right man is?”

  “If I knew that, I’d be married right now…making my mother proud.”

  Chaz burst out laughing. The loud noise startled Meg. “I didn’t mean that to be funny.”

  “But it was. One of the things I love about you is that you are unintentionally, or maybe intentionally, funny.” His body slumped as laughter continued to ricochet through his chest.

  “One of the things you love about me?” Her eyes widened. Her hands fell to her hips, resting there confidently.

  “I didn’t mean it like that. Geez, can’t I say anything around you without getting into trouble?” He perched the coffee pot over an empty mug, “Coffee?”

  “Yes, please. I don’t know what I said.”

  Chaz turned his attention to filling mugs with coffee, ignoring her question. “Starting over…Good Morning.” He leaned over to peck her on the cheek.

  “Morning.” Meg picked up her mug and took a sip.

  Silence hung heavy in the kitchen while they drank. Meg stared out the window, afraid to look at Chaz, especially since he was staring at her. His stare reminded her of a fleece blanket, covering each part of her with soft warmth. Don’t get used to it…no matter how good it feels.

  Chapter Eight

  When she ventured to look in his direction, her gaze fell on his hands. Her body tingled as she remembered the gentle, arousing touch of his fingers on her flesh. A sudden longing to feel his hands on her body made her raise her eyes to his. Is this what Mark and Penny feel? Is this why they can’t keep their hands off each other?

  As if reading her mind, Chaz slid his chair closer. He lost his fingers in her hair.

  “Let’s not talk about tomorrow or forever. This is where I want to be now, with you. Can we leave it at that?” His fingertips tickled her neck causing a shiver to run down her spine.

  Stop being a planner—enjoy the moment.

  “This is where I want to be, too.”

  She tugged gently on his neck and raised her lips to his.

  * * * *

  After a long shower made much longer by making love to Megan underneath the warm spray, Chaz made plans to meet her for more rehearsal and dinner. On the walk back to Quinn’s apartment, every inch of him glowed with energy. He wanted to skip. He wanted to run. But he was Chaz Duncan, and he didn’t want to call attention to himself.<
br />
  Quinn sat at the kitchen table scratching his stubbly face and yawning.

  “Late night?” Chaz asked as he poured himself a mug of coffee and joined his friend.

  “Yeah. You too?”

  Chaz grinned.

  “So now can I call her your girlfriend?” Quinn stretched his arms above his head.

  Chaz widened his grin but didn’t answer. “Who was your lucky chick last night?”

  “Deandre. Remember her?” Quinn pushed to his feet.

  “Dee? Sure. Thought you two were only friends.”

  “Friends can tie one on, can’t they?”

  “Hell yeah.” Chaz chuckled. “When are you two gonna…”

  Quinn put up his hand.

  “Never gonna happen. We’d kill each other within a week.”

  “Best friends in high school but not friends-with-benefits now?” Chaz raised his eyebrows as he opened the refrigerator.

  “Nope. That’s crap, ya know. Friends with benefits. Either you end up getting married or you wreck the friendship. Going back to your girlfriend’s tonight?”

  “She’ not my…”

  “Give it up, Dunc!” Quinn interrupted, raising his voice.

  Chaz took a bowl of salsa out of the fridge then searched the cabinets for chips. “Okay, so maybe she is. She also plays piano. I’m going to rehearse there tonight.”

  “Rehearse…yeah, right. Rehearse for what…a porn flick?” Quinn cracked up at his own joke.

  “For Broadway.”

  “No shit?” Quinn stopped laughing and sat up.

  “Yeah.”

  “You got an audition for Rainy Sundays?”

  “And I’m rusty as hell. Meg’s got some great show music. I’m practicing at her place.”

  “Practicing? I thought you already knew how to…” Chaz grabbed his friend in a headlock, cutting off further comment. Quinn laughed as Chaz dragged him to the floor.

  “I’m not rusty at that…though you probably are. How long’s it been, Quinn? Six months?”

  “Not as long as it was for you when we played upstate in This Side of Heaven.”

  “Thanks for bringing that up. What about Cleveland when you passed out on that chick with double D’s? Someone had to make her dreams come true!” Chaz smirked.