Undersold

by B. B. Hamel

  He let out a deep breath and sipped his drink. I could tell this was difficult for him, and he glanced around the room before answering. He was clearly tortured over something, and I had no idea what.

  “I’m a private person, Amy. Extremely private. I hate being in the public eye, but when you own a company like mine, you’re going to run into that sort of thing. I try my hardest to have a regular life, but for the most part it isn’t possible.” He paused and shifted his weight. “This is embarrassing, but the dating profile thing, it’s mostly to flirt with strangers. It makes me feel normal.”

  I could understand that. I had read about his quirk, but hearing him talk about it, and seeing how physically uncomfortable it was making him, had an interesting effect on me. Instead of being angry or turned off, I wanted to run my fingers through his hair and kiss his mouth as hard as I could. This was clearly a man who was not used to having to explain himself, let alone admit to something as deeply personal as making a fake dating profile to feel normal. His vulnerability, mixed with his secrecy, was compelling.

  “So then, what? You were going to ditch out on me?”

  “No, absolutely not.” He looked me dead in the eyes and leaned closer. My breath caught in my chest for a moment. The light seemed to bend toward him.

  “Is that what you do? Ditch the girls you flirt with?” I asked, my head swimming with images of his body.

  “No. This is the first time it got that far, and I was going to tell you the truth when we met. I am sorry I lied to you. I never meant to mislead you.” He was inches away from me, and I could feel his heat. I was completely sucked into is gaze, and I felt like I would do anything he said.

  “What am I supposed to call you, anyway?” I asked, breathing in his smell.

  “Call me Shane. In the office, call me Mr. Green. I promise, this won’t affect our working relationship. I don’t wish to make you ... uncomfortable.”

  He made me uncomfortable, all right. So uncomfortable, I was imagining taking him into what is probably a disgusting dive bar bathroom, unbuckling his belt, and sucking him off in the stall. I didn’t normally act or think like this, but something about this man made me need him.

  “Thank you for saying that,” I said quietly. It made him lean a bit closer and I savored the intimacy. “I don’t want our professional relationship to suffer.”

  He smiled that half grin of his and moved away to sip his drink. I drank mine too, if only to cover how much I wanted him to come closer again.

  “So, where do we go from here?” I asked.

  “You start work next week, and I’ll be overseeing your project for the first two months.”

  “Is that your way of keeping me close?” I said jokingly.

  He smiled. “I do that for all our new acquisitions.” There was a hint of something more in his tone, but I wasn’t sure what it meant.

  “Oh, is that what I am? An acquisition?”

  “Don’t undersell yourself, Amy.” His expression turned intense again as his eyes raked along my body. I felt myself wanting him to hold me in his gaze for as long as possible. I wanted to be the object of his attention, or maybe just his object. “You’re much more than that. We don’t always hire the developer of everything we buy.”

  That gave me pause. I didn’t know his business practices, and because Adstringo wasn’t public, I had to rely on second hand sources. There were rumors, of course, but rumors didn’t always mean much.

  “So why hire me, then?” I asked, confused.

  “You have to ask?”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  “You created and developed a complex application in your spare time that not only has a revenue function, but also a positive social benefit. It’s impressive. I wanted to poach you before someone else did.”

  I didn’t know what to say. It’s true that my app was a little complicated. Connecting low-income students with online tutors willing to help them for decreased rates has a lot of moving pieces, but I never looked at it as anything more than a worthwhile puzzle.

  “Well, thank you. I appreciate you saying that,” I said, and blushed.

  “Of course. I hope we can get through this oddness, Amy. We’ll be working very closely together in the coming months.”

  I didn’t want to get past this at all, but I couldn’t exactly say that out loud. I felt more confident around him, but not that confident. “I think that sounds good, Mr. Green.”

  His eyes lit up when I said this name. “Shane outside of the office. Mr. Green inside.” His tone was a command, and it excited me.

  “Sorry, Mr. Green. I want to keep things professional.” I wanted him to look disappointed, but his face remained impassive. He held me in his gaze for a moment longer, and I felt myself wanting to say his name again. Before I had the chance, he knocked back the last of his drink and stood up. He took a few bills from his wallet and dropped them on the table, then looked at me. I couldn’t read his expression, but my body tensed under his gaze.

  “Thanks for meeting with me, Amy. I’ll see you in the office.” He moved to go. I looked back at my drink and felt disappointed. I wasn’t sure what I expected. Maybe a declaration of love, maybe just an invitation to dinner. Instead, I got mixed messages, and more confusion.

  Before he moved away, Shane paused next to me. I could tell he was struggling with something. I shifted in my seat to get closer to him. He looked directly at me, his eyes smoldering.

  “I am not an indecisive man,” he started out, and then stopped to glance at the bartender. He took a deep breath. “I take what I want in all parts of my life. Now, I feel compelled to say that I meant everything I texted you.”

  Before I could respond, he walked out the door, and was gone. I took a deep drink from my glass of wine and felt dizzy.

  8.

  I opened the door to my apartment and dropped my keys on the kitchen counter. As soon as I was inside, my phone started ringing. I pulled it out of my bag and checked the ID: Darcy. I swiped right and held it up to my ear.

  “Hey Darc!” I said. I hadn’t heard from her in a few days, and I was happy she called. I couldn’t wait to share my news, even if that news was confused a bit.

  “Hey there kiddo.” She called me kiddo sometimes, which was weird, but we rolled with it. It was a joke from college, something to do with how I wanted someone to be my sugar daddy. And how she was going to be the only daddy I’d get. We were going through a phase at the time.

  “How’s it going?” I asked.

  “It’s going good! Guess where I am?”

  I had no clue. “Home in the city? Oh, no, you’re in a submarine and you’re running out of air. Did you call to say goodbye?”

  “Close! I’m in Philadelphia.”

  “You’re here? In my city? Since when?” I had no clue she was coming down. I wished she had told me earlier. I would have picked her up from the train, or at least let her crash at my place.

  “Since this morning. And I’m in your coffee shop right now, actually. Come down!”

  “You’re at Swirl, right now?”

  “Yes, and you better come. No excuses.”

  It had been a long day. I was exhausted even though it was barely four in the afternoon. But I couldn’t say no to her, not when she was so infrequently in town. Despite the turmoil I was feeling over my new job and over sending dirty messages to my boss, I had to make an appearance.

  “I’ll be there soon.”

  “Great. Look cute!” She hung up. I smiled and put my phone back in my bag. I didn’t know what Darcy had in store for me, but I figured I might as well change before I left.

  I locked my bike outside of the café on the usual post and adjusted my clothes. Flats, high-waisted black shorts, black tights, and a cute dark blue button down top with little keys all over it. Darcy told me to look good, and I tried my best to live up to her expectations.

  The café looked dark, which was odd. It should have been open, but the sign wasn’t lit up, and I could barely
see in the windows. I pulled open the big front door and stepped inside.

  “SURPRISE!”

  A huge group of people yelled at once. I nearly jumped out of my skin. My heart was hammering in my chest as I felt my adrenaline pumping.

  The lights came up and people were all over the place. I was in shock.

  Darcy came running over to me and wrapped me in a huge hug. A few other people from our college days were there, Jim and a few of my coworkers were there, and off to the side, sitting in his wheelchair with his nurse behind him, was my Dad.

  “Darc! What is this?” I said, pulling back.

  “It’s a congrats surprise party for your big sale. Last minute thing, but it’s a decent turnout.”

  “How did you do this?” I couldn’t believe she got my Dad to come down.

  “It was mostly Jim’s idea. I invited everyone, but he let us have the place for free.” Jim was looking at us with a huge smile. Most of the room had gone back to chatting, and the café’s music came back up. I was never a huge fan of parties, but this was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. I felt like I was near tears, and had to take a deep breath to steady myself.

  “You’re amazing, Darc. Thank you so much,” I managed.

  “Oh don’t cry, you big baby. You deserve it,” she said, laughing.

  I thanked her again, and then made a beeline to my Dad. He looked thin, thinner than he did last week. His nurse, Jasmine, stood behind his chair, all smiles. He was hooked up to his oxygen machine, but was wearing his nicest suit. I bent down to hug him as hard as I could without hurting him. He felt so thin in my arms, and I couldn’t help but remember the Dad from when I was young, all tall and broad shoulders and gruff stubble.

  “I’m proud of you, Amy,” he said in my ear.

  “Thanks Dad. I’m so glad you came down.”

  I pulled back and he was grinning. “Yeah, me too. Tough gettin’ around these days. Philly’s kindof a craphole anymore, too.”

  “Yeah Dad, not like in your day. Really going to seed.”

  “Gone to seed, you mean. Anyway, city’s always been a hole. It’s just a new kind of hole.”

  Typical of my Dad. He was always grouchy, even before the lung cancer. He spent most of his time working when we were young, but he did his best to make time for us. He was a good Dad, despite all the problems in his life. Despite all the problems we had caused him. But he still loved us, and always made sure we knew it.

  “Congratulations on your app, Amy,” Jasmine said.

  “Thanks Jasmine. And thanks for bringing this lazy guy,” I said.

  “Hey, I tried to walk here, but she was stubborn.”

  We laughed, and he looked uncomfortable being center of attention.

  “Yo Amy, congrats millionaire,” came a voice behind me. I turned around and saw John, my oldest brother.

  “John!” I said, and wrapped him in a hug. We had gotten much closer in the last few years. Our middle brother, Derek, was going through some issues, and was currently somewhere out near Reading. We didn’t really know what Derek was up to most of the time, but it was probably drug related, whatever it was. Meanwhile, John was a pretty successful accountant, and tried his best to take care of the family. Mostly Derek, these days, but he was a huge help when I was a student in New York with barely enough money to feed myself, and he pays a big chunk of Dad’s medical bills.

  “So, what are you doing with your first mil?”

  “Well, I’m not a millionaire. But I’m paying off my student loans.”

  “Smart girl,” he said.

  The night went smoothly. Dad left early because he was tired, but it was amazing he even made the trip down at all. Jim let my friends bring beer and wine, and things got fuzzy, as they usually did. Toward the end of the night, I found myself at a table with Jim, Darcy, and John, the rest of the partying having cleared out.

  “So how’d you do it, anyway?” Darcy asked me.

  “What do you mean?”

  “How’d you, like, make an app? And sell it?”

  I shrugged. “I worked hard, mostly. Some luck. It was lucky that the app was found by Adstringo and bought out. But mostly I didn’t do anything other than make the app.”

  “That’s not luck, Amy,” Jim said. “You’re the most talented person here. We all know it.” He was pretty drunk, and was leaning on the tabletop.

  “Thanks Jim. I try, I guess.” He was looking at me intently, in a way I didn’t recognized.

  “You guess? You’re amazing, Amy. You’re awesome. Sold an app, working for your dream company. Living the life. I think you’re amazing,” he said. He kept staring at me, and an awkward lull fell over the table.

  “Alright, I think it’s time to call it,” John said, breaking the silence, and patted Jim on the back. Darcy laughed.

  “What, I’m just sayin’,” Jim protested, but he let John stand him up.

  “I’ll get him home. You two clean up.” John led Jim outside and into the cool fall night. Darcy laughed again.

  “He has a huge crush on you, you know,” she said.

  “No he doesn’t, we’re just friends. And he’s my boss. Or was my boss.”

  It still hadn’t sunk in that I was no longer a minimum wage barista at a Swirl Café. I would never have to fill another coffee for a rude customer. I would never have to clean a spill or deal with impatient people. It was liberating.

  “Boss has nothing to do with it, that guy wants your sweet, sweet bod. Speaking of which, any hot men in your life right now?” Darcy was perpetually nosy when it came to my love life, even when that love life didn’t exist.

  I wanted to tell her about my texts with Shane, about figuring out who he was during the meeting earlier today, and about his weird admission at the end of our conversation at the bar, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I would leave out the bits about the sexy pictures and any details about the dirty messages, of course, but I wanted to describe his body, the way he looked at me, and the way it made me feel. But a large part of me knew that it wouldn’t be something he’d want. If he was as private as he said, and I thought he really meant it, then I shouldn’t tell anyone about what happened between us. Instead, I just shook my head. It was hard not to tell her, but I reassured myself with the thought that I’d fill her in when I could.

  “Nope, nothing special really.”

  “Seems like a shame to waste your youth working.” Darcy finished her drink, ever the party girl. She was smart and beautiful, but driven in different ways.

  “Not all of us an live the glamorous New York lifestyle, Darc.”

  “That’s so true, kiddo.” She laughed, and I felt like we were back in school.

  I smiled. “Let’s clean up.”

  Darc and I were like sisters in college. We were lucky enough to live together in the dorms our Freshman year, and we never looked back after that. In fact, the year I moved to Philadelphia was my first year living without her, and in a lot of ways my life felt emptier because of it. She always brought lightness and joy to everything she did, and it was something I desperately missed. Frankly, she knew how to party and to have a good time, but she wasn’t irresponsible. I had a tendency to overwork myself, to push myself to achieve my goals, and Darcy was good at evening me out. I was always more comfortable with my laptop alone in my room than I was with big parties.

  Just like she helped me loosen up, I think I helped keep her a little grounded, although she wouldn’t admit to that. I was jealous of her in a lot of ways, her long blonde hair, her thin waist, her green eyes. Boys died to be with Darcy, and I was always in her shadow, but I didn’t resent her for it. The pale brunette doesn’t always draw crowds, in my experience. It wasn’t her fault she won the genetic lottery and I was stuck looking as average as they come. I made up for all my faults in other ways, like an insane work ethic, or at least I tried.

  The two of us stood and started straightening the place up. I thought about my phone and how quiet it had been all ni
ght, and of Shane out there somewhere in his comfortable home, maybe flirting with a new girl through the dating app. I felt a pang of jealousy, though I had no right to be jealous. He didn’t seem to want to have anything to do with me beyond a professional relationship, but I still couldn’t help but think about what we said to each other, and about that last comment before he left the bar.

  I still had his pictured saved, and I hoped he kept mine. I knew I should want him to delete it, but it still made me feel good to imagine him looking at it, maybe slipping his hand down his underwear, over his sculpted abs, to grasp his thick cock. I shook my head to get the image out of my mind.

  I wondered what he’d be like when I was in the office full time. I was terrified things would be awkward. Worse, I was afraid he’d fire me. If he was as private as he said, then getting rid of me made sense.

  Before I could fall too deep into my anxious daydreams, Darcy proposed shots, and I couldn’t say no to her. We drank to my success, but secretly I drank to a future where Shane Green would send me a text.

  9.

  A week later, I was settling into the office. I had already made my first friend named Linda, and that helped ease my transition a lot. She sat next to me, and her bubbly personality and no-nonsense work attitude made her the kind of person I wanted to be around. She was in turn silly and serious, always making jokes but working long hours. I turned away from my screen as Linda’s head popped around our partition’s wall.

  “Did you hear about Mr. Green?” she asked me.

  I still hadn’t run into him. We were supposed to be working closely on the app, but I hadn’t even caught a glimpse of him in the week I had been working.

  It wasn’t like I was hanging around the lobby in hopes that he’d walk by, because I wasn’t. Maybe I walked a little slower through the common areas, lingered a little bit longer than I needed to in the kitchen, and took my time when strolling through the halls near his office. But who could blame me?

  I hadn’t heard from him or seen him since our meeting in the bar, and I knew I couldn’t be the one to initiate anything. If he was really as set on a professional relationship as he said he was, then texting him out of nowhere could jeopardize my position in his company.