Up for Everything (Up for Grabs #3)

by Heather Young-Nichols

  “Sorry.” I shook my head. “Lost in thought.”

  “I hope it was a good one.”

  Nope.

  I could only focus on the million ways I could fuck this whole thing up. Hurt Miriam which was the last fucking thing I wanted to do. Maybe Kendra was right. Maybe this try at a relationship wasn’t me.

  Then Miriam snuck under my arm to lay her head on my shoulder. Her coconut scent hit my nostrils, her silky as hell hair fell on my chest then she looked up at me with those fucking brown eyes and I was reminded that I may already be gone.

  The choice wasn’t mine anymore. I made a silent promise that I wouldn’t do anything that could result in causing this girl pain. And when we were finally together, once I got rid of my friends, I’d make sure she experienced more pleasure than she’d ever had.

  It wasn’t about me. It was about her. And that was totally fucking different.

  In the morning, I switched the button on my alarm off as soon as it started buzzing. I didn’t want to wake Miriam. Although, I’m not sure how much I actually slept. If I didn’t chill out soon, I’d stress myself into impotence or some shit. After my morning routine, a quick shower and shave, I considered not waking my girl up. She looked peaceful and content while asleep but I also couldn’t leave without saying goodbye.

  “Hey,” she said when I sat down beside her.

  “I was trying to decide whether to wake you up or not.”

  “Wake me.” She gave me a tired smile. “But I heard the shower so I’ve been up a few minutes.”

  “Sorry.”

  “It’s fine.”

  I watched her for a full minute. She didn’t seem to mind. Miriam first thing in the morning was a thing of beauty. She didn’t have on any makeup, her bare face was even better than when she wore makeup which she didn’t do a lot. Everything was soft and fresh.

  Damn she was stunning.

  “Ok, I have to go,” I said finally. “Have fun today and don’t take any of Kendra’s shit.”

  “I will and I won’t.” Her small grin said she definitely wouldn’t.

  Miriam protested quietly when I leaned down for a kiss. It wasn’t like I was going to ravish her mouth or anything but for her, the fact that she hadn’t brushed her teeth yet was apparently an issue. For me it wasn’t. She still tasted like Miriam. I pulled myself away from her before I couldn’t.

  “You like this one don’t ya?” Adam asked quietly when I tried to sneak past him and Kendra curled together like a big pretzel on my couch. When I didn’t answer he sighed.

  Guys didn’t talk about this shit. Or at least they didn’t with me. I’d listened to Cain cry like a fucking girl when he broke up with Flannery. OK, he cried a little but mostly did the guy equivalent by drinking himself into a stupor. Then spent many days tightening his jaw whenever their paths crossed or someone mentioned her. I thought the poor guy was going to need dental work before it was all done and over. The bitch of it was they shared a class that semester.

  “You know it’s ok to admit it. I love the hell out of this girl.” He nodded his head toward a still sleeping Kendra. “And I’m not afraid to admit it.”

  “That’s because you’re a pussy. Have fun shopping.”

  Adam laughed.

  I didn’t care if they knew I cared about Miriam, I just didn’t want it thrown in my face.

  I barely made it to lunch before the text messages started pouring in. Pictures from the vantage point behind the girls.

  Fucking Adam.

  There were the random messages from Cain saying I should be there to see what had just happened but then didn’t tell me what actually happened. It wasn’t on purpose. We’d done this dance a hundred times.

  For some reason it was hitting me in the chest.

  I wanted to be there and started to resent that they were out having fun while I was at work.

  The absolute worst came midafternoon.

  I almost didn’t check my phone. I didn’t want to see anymore.

  The first picture Cain sent was of Miriam. Only Miriam. Her head tilted toward someone, her smile filled her face. She was laughing. It might be the most beautiful I’d ever seen her. Immediately that picture became the one that would pop up if she called or sent a text.

  The second was a group selfie. The five of them, me missing.

  It seemed all I did anymore was miss things.

  Miriam.

  My friends.

  Being home.

  They were all in my fucking apartment when I got home. I pretended to be annoyed by it but Cain new I loved having them all around if not the reason they all came out. The timing was odd though since I already had plans to go home the next week. Whatever. I’m Sam, I go with the flow.

  The six of us went out to dinner that night with plans to see a movie. It was low key. I liked it. We ate at a bar and grill the guys and I went to whenever they were in town. The bar had great food and beer. It was the kind of place we would have hung out at in college. After a year in the real world, it still felt weird to refer to those days in the past.

  “Miriam, when do you leave on your next job?” Kendra asked. The way she said it, I got the feeling those two had mended fences and gotten to know each other a bit while I was working.

  I threw her a raised eyebrow to go along with my cocked head of curiosity.

  “Oh yeah, Sam, we’re old friends now,” Kendra said with a cocky grin. “Girls bond over shopping.”

  “Wednesday,” Miriam told her while shaking her head. “It’s a quick one. Just a few days.”

  “Then you should come to Michigan for the weekend.”

  “Can’t.” She already started shaking her head. “I have a local job when I get back.”

  I started to hate her job. The time apart sucked. Even if we didn’t spend every waking moment together when we were both in town at least there was the possibility. But I knew two things. One, a few days after I got back from Detroit, Miriam would be leaving again, this time for two weeks. She had several shoots and just as many planes to catch. And two, I needed to get her alone and naked before we both left.

  Saturday, we went to the beach. Flannery complained about winter being about to come to Michigan and she might not have the chance to suck in the warm weather again for a while. So we packed up and headed out after breakfast.

  Seeing Miriam in a bikini would never get old for several reasons. The girl had a banging body and she owned it. No, she wasn’t stick thin the way a regular model would be. She also wasn’t as tall. But I didn’t want to see protruding hip bones, as happened with a couple of women who walked by, or her ribs threatening to slice open that beautifully smooth skin. She looked like a woman to me with curves and breasts that jiggled when she ran. Yeah, she was getting to me too.

  Miriam stood in the water up to her waist, laughing and splashing with Flannery and Kendra when I realized just how fucking perfect my girl fit into our family. I was moving before making the decision to. Coming up behind her, the other two gave me this look. I didn’t want to understand what it meant but it was like they knew a secret I didn’t or something. This is one of the reasons I never wanted to date. Then they splashed me and swam away.

  “Your friends are pretty great. I knew Flannery was and assumed Cain was good because they got married but even Kendra’s great once you get to know her a little.” Miriam turned to face me.

  My hands found hers and held them tightly threaded together.

  “You mean once the bitch mask comes off.”

  “Eh.” She shrugged. “She just thought I drugged you or something.” That sounded like Kendra. “But then I told her I won you over by flipping you off in the hotel lobby. I earned brownie points.”

  I laughed because she hit the nail on the head.

  “I’m sure it did.”

  We stood there in the hip deep water, well barely to my hip but to the waist for my little chicken nugget there. Our hands stayed together and our eyes locked. While it’d been a long tim
e on the dating thing for me, I knew the look in her eyes and was supremely grateful for the colder water we were standing in.

  “Hey, guys, if I don’t eat soon things are going to get really ugly,” Adam called out breaking our moment.

  “Hungry?” I asked her quietly.

  “Yes but I have plans tonight so I should get moving.”

  My eyebrows rose in question.

  “The bachelorette party for my roommate Aria. I told you about that.”

  “No you didn’t.”

  “I thought I did.”

  She hadn’t. Not that it would have mattered. I wasn’t going to stop her from having friends and spending time with them. That would make me a supreme asshole.

  We slowly walked back to our towels to dry off and pack up. Of course the girls were bummed when Miriam said she couldn’t join us for the night. No way were they more disappointed than I was.

  Adam and Cain picked up pizza on the way home while I had the pleasure of driving the girls back. Being in a car full of female voices gave me bad memories of road trips with my sisters. Kind of like my own version of Nam, where a guy thinks he hears the choppers only with this it was fucking giggles. Nice that they were having a good time but my ear drums could use a damn break.

  Fifteen minutes of saying good-bye to Miriam wasn’t enough. I’m not sure if I was trying to make sure she didn’t forget she had a boyfriend while she watched ripped dudes grind in her face or I just enjoyed the feeling of her tongue. I assumed bachelorette parties were a lot like bachelor parties. And I fucking loved the feel of her tongue. So I guess it was both.

  “Whoa,” she said breathlessly. “That’s gonna stay with me for a while.”

  We were outside against her car.

  “That’s kind of the point.”

  Miriam bit the corner of her mouth and narrowed her eyes at me.

  “You know I don’t need a reminder, right?”

  I didn’t understand.

  “I don’t need you to remind me that I have a boyfriend. Trust me. I think about it. A lot.”

  “About me?”

  She nodded with a smile.

  Damn I wanted to haul her ass upstairs and keep her. That thought was followed by a weight on my chest. Man, this was getting annoying.

  “I am hard to forget.”

  “Yeah, you are. Listen.” She pulled me closer. “This was planned months ago. I’d flake out but we’ve lived together since I came to California.”

  “I don’t want you to flake on it. I also don’t want to think about some other guy’s junk in your face.”

  “Gross.” She groaned. “Why would I want a guy’s junk in my face?”

  The smirk I threw her said it all.

  “Present company excluded of course.”

  At that I had to let her go. As she pulled away, I felt panic forming in the pit of my stomach. Not because she had to leave because I knew she’d be back. The one time I’d been in love in my life didn’t come with this much anxiety. It’d been easy until it wasn’t. I didn’t think I was in love with Miriam yet but fuck…it could go down that path.

  Chapter Twelve

  I spent Saturday night hanging out with the group in my living room. Until Kendra got Flannery all riled up about going out. It’s their last night in LA, she said. She wanted to go out and have fun, she said. Then there was something added about going back to school or whatever. Adam and Cain gave in right away because that’s what they always did when it came to their women. I just wanted to stay home but there was no fucking way I could say that. I wouldn’t have before Miriam and I was determined to prove nothing had changed. Even to myself I had to admit everything had probably changed.

  Before Miriam, I’d go out and that was fine. Now, it just didn’t appeal to me. I’d rather be home with her or, since she couldn’t be there, texting would do. I don’t know the exact moment that changed but this was my reality now.

  Instead the five of us got dressed, packed into my car so I could take us to a club. There was one, not too far from my apartment that I used to go to pretty often. They’d like it.

  The place wasn’t too busy so no waiting in line yet. Either way, the guy at the door was the brother of a co-worker. We’d hung out so he would’ve let us in anyway. Bodies were jumping on the inside. Another couple of hours, and it’d be so full you wouldn’t be able to move. If there was a god we’d be out of there before then. Flannery and Kendra made a beeline for the dance floor while we moved along the perimeter until we found a table close enough to the action but not where it’d be heinously loud.

  “Where’s Miriam tonight?” Adam asked after we ordered beer.

  “Bachelorette party.”

  A smirk slid across his face. The face I itched to punch right about then.

  “Leave him alone,” Cain said with a sigh before Adam could get whatever was in his head out.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Adam said while feigning innocence. “I was just going to say it sucks that she’s not here.”

  “Sure you were.” I shook my head.

  Although I have to say, whatever look Cain gave him worked because afterword Miriam didn’t come up again.

  The girls danced their asses off, popping over to down a bottle of beer and then went back to it. Somewhere in there, my phone vibrated in my front pocket. I pulled it out to see Miriam’s number. Not sure whether it was quiet enough for me to even hear her, I took it anyway. No way I’d get outside before it went to voicemail.

  “Hey,” I answered with a smile. The background was just as loud on her end. I could hear her trying to say something over the noise but couldn’t make the words out. Then the call disconnected. I wanted to bolt. She was with friends but something could’ve been wrong. I decided to try a text first so that the volume on the other side couldn’t interfere.

  Sam: Everything ok?

  I waited for her to answer, staring at my phone as if I could will a reply to come quicker. I was so focused that when the damn thing buzzed I almost dropped it.

  Miriam: Yes. Sorry. Didn’t know you were out.

  Sam: Not a problem. The girls wanted to go out. Are you sure everything’s ok?

  Miriam: :D Night

  I took her last message to mean all was right with the world but man I’d had a couple of tense minutes. Guess I didn’t realize I worried about her. Who am I kidding? I’d worried about her since she left Hawaii without me.

  Finally the girls were ready to go home. Though I threatened Flannery and Kendra that if either of them puked in my car they were cleaning it up. I wasn’t doing that shit.

  I tried to text Miriam a couple of times, even called twice but got no reply.

  Instead of worrying about, she was probably just having a good time, I plugged my phone in and set it on the nightstand beside my bed in case she decided to call me back.

  She didn’t.

  No one rushed to get moving in the morning. They had plenty of time before their flight out. Finally, mercifully, we needed to head out to the airport. I loved having them around but right then I wanted them back home in Michigan because I wanted time with Miriam before she left, too. After they boarded, I checked my phone again to see if she’d replied to my text. She still hadn’t which made me nervous. I’d sent it mid-morning hoping not to wake her. Now that it was mid-afternoon, I teetered between concerned and pissed off.

  Instead of going home, I went directly to her house.

  I had to knock quite a few times before a tall red head answered the door. She looked like shit. Her eyes were barely open, her hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed in week and her skin was so pale I wondered if she would get sick on me then and there.

  “Is Miriam here?” I asked my eyes narrowing on the girl who looked like she was about to throw up on my shoes.

  “You the boyfriend?” she asked.

  I nodded but wasn’t sure she saw it until she responded.

  “She’s probably still in bed like the rest o
f us. Go ahead but try to be quiet about it.”

  I slid past her trying to make sure I didn’t make contact. No way in hell did I want whatever virus she had going on. Since I hadn’t met any of her roommates, I didn’t know this one’s name. While I was thankful she let me in, it kind of pissed me off. She didn’t know me from fuck, and she let me roam around the house.

  When I got to Miriam’s door, I knocked quietly but didn’t get a response so I cracked the door and whispered her name as I entered.

  The room was dark with just enough light shining around the edges of her curtain so I could make out the furniture. And the lump in the middle of her bed.

  “Miriam,” I said softly, running my hand over the back of her head. “Miriam.” The second time I said her name, I did it a little louder and got her to stir.

  “What time is it?” she asked, her voice hoarse enough for me to know what happened. She was hung over.

  “Like four o’clock.” I sat gently onto the edge of her bed.

  “Seriously?” She groaned.

  “Yeah, I hadn’t heard from you today so I came over to check on you. Your roommate let me in.”

  “Which one?”

  I shrugged as she looked at me with one eye open, one closed.

  “Crazy red hair. Looks like she might be dying.”

  “Aria.”

  Hopping off the bed, I went over to her fridge and pulled out a bottle of water.

  Miriam sat up slowly to take a couple of sips.

  “How’s the stomach?”

  “Fine.” She tried to smile. “I’m not hitting any all you can eat buffets today but it’s not bad. My head on the other hand…” That was my cue to get her some aspirin or something. I found it on the vanity across the room. I popped the top then handed her two. “Thanks,” she said after swallowing it. “Lots of shots last night.” She said like she was confessing something. “Lots of shots.” She fell back onto the bed and pulled the blanket up to her chin.

  “I assumed.” I couldn’t keep the smile from my face. “Why don’t you come to my place where I can take care of you?”

  “That’s really sweet, Sam, but I think I’d rather be gross in my own bed.”