Firebird

by Iris Gower

  Eynon shook his head. ‘I doubt it, I don’t think her father would give his consent.’

  ‘There’s hope for you, then, Eynon.’ Martin rolled the brandy around his teeth, savouring it. ‘Remember, there are as many kinds of love as there are of flowers in the field. When I was younger, I was stubborn, I would not settle for second best and so I ended up alone.’

  ‘Are you telling me to look around for “second best” if I don’t get the girl I love?’

  Martin smiled. ‘Put it this way, I was in love once but I was disappointed. Instead of trying again, I turned my face away from all thoughts of love and became a vicar.’

  ‘I don’t fancy the Church as an occupation.’ Eynon smiled. ‘I think I would bore any congregation to tears.’

  ‘Then you must channel your desires in some other direction.’ Martin smiled. ‘Or fall in love with someone else. Everyone is deserving of a little love and you seem to me to be a man of many qualities of which kindness and honesty are not the least.’

  Eynon felt the fear that had held him ever since his father fell sick melt a little. ‘I’m glad you came up here this evening,’ he said. ‘I don’t feel so alone now.’

  ‘You are never alone, my son. Your heavenly Father is always with you.’

  Eynon smiled. ‘You have become a cleric again.’

  ‘I never stop being a cleric, it is my one joy and comfort to know that my heavenly Father loves me even if no-one else does.’ He beamed his beatific smile and Eynon smiled too.

  ‘Have another drink, Martin,’ he said.

  ‘Aye,’ Martin said, ‘let us fill our glasses, we might as well make a night of it.’

  ‘That’s fine by me.’ Eynon rose to open a fresh decanter of brandy and for a moment stared into the depths of the amber liquid. Martin was right, it was time he began to make a new life for himself, find a new purpose.

  ‘I heard a little bit of gossip today,’ Martin said. ‘Llinos Savage returned home last night escorted by the Indian fellow.’

  Silently, Eynon digested the news: so Llinos was home and it had been Joe who had gone to fetch her. That was strange to say the least. Had Lloyd relented, had he welcomed Joe as a prospective son-in-law? Eynon doubted it.

  ‘There is talk that Llinos has found a suitable husband, a local man of standing and property.’ Martin smiled sheepishly. ‘One of the maids up at the pottery overheard some talk, it seems, and gossiped about it to all who would listen.’

  ‘I see.’ Eynon refilled the glasses and lifted his high. He was suddenly filled with hope. ‘Here’s to the future, Martin,’ he said softly.

  It was a bright morning, Llinos had slept well. Now she faced her father, standing beside Joe, listening to him ask for her hand in marriage. She was so happy, so in love. She stood meekly to one side, allowing the menfolk to have their say. Her father listened in silence and when he did speak, his words were like a knife cutting into her.

  ‘You are still a half-breed, Joe, nothing is ever going to change that.’

  Llinos hugged Joe’s arm to her side as though she could protect him from her father’s cruelty.

  ‘Father! How could you speak like that?’

  Lloyd looked at her sharply. ‘Face facts, girl, however much money he has, Joe is never going to be one of us. If you married him your children would be half-breeds, too. No, I won’t have it, I won’t give my permission, it is as simple as that.’

  ‘Then I shall go and live with Joe without your permission.’

  ‘I see, as wilful as ever, Llinos. And you, Joe, will you take her against my wishes?’ Lloyd stared up into the face of the man who had been his constant companion, the man who had saved his life, but he did not waver. The future of his only daughter was in the balance and he would not have her throw away her chance of happiness because of some girlish infatuation.

  ‘Joe, don’t listen to him!’ Llinos said. ‘We love each other, nothing can change that.’

  ‘Stop it, girl.’ Lloyd spoke harshly. ‘You speak like the child you are. Show some restraint, some dignity. I’m sure Joe has the good sense to see that you are too young for marriage.’

  Joe seemed suddenly remote. ‘Your father is right, you are still very young.’ He shook his head as she made to speak.

  ‘You are mine and I am yours, never forget it.’ He smiled. ‘I shall wait patiently for you until the time is right for us.’

  Llinos was afraid and angry. ‘I don’t know why my life should be ruled by men. Have I no say in any of it?’ She turned to her father.

  ‘You seem able to send Joe away but you will not have your way with me. I shall go back to Philip Morton-Edwards, I shall live in his house.’

  ‘Be quiet, child,’ Lloyd said sharply. ‘Mr Morton-Edwards is sick, he may be dying for all we know.’

  Llinos felt a chill begin to grow inside her.

  Lloyd nodded to her. ‘You may think the world stands still because you are not part of it, Llinos, but you are wrong,’ he said. ‘Your views are insignificant, don’t you understand that?’

  ‘Father, do you realize how bitter you sound? Do you really hate the world and everyone in it so much?’

  ‘Keep a civil tongue in your head, miss.’ Lloyd’s face flushed and he looked away from her. ‘What have I to be happy about? I am half a man, I cannot love a woman, I can never walk in the fresh air and feel the sand of Swansea Bay beneath my feet. Why shouldn’t I be bitter?’

  ‘You are alive, Captain.’ Joe spoke sternly. ‘Have you forgotten so soon how many of our comrades were left at Mont-St-Jean?’

  Lloyd looked down at his hands. ‘No, I have not forgotten.’ He spoke in a low voice. ‘But you are right, Joe, of course you are. I am ungrateful sometimes, bitter often, but isn’t it natural for a man to want to be whole?’

  ‘It is also natural for a man to sit beneath the sun, to feel the rain on his face, to breathe in the sweet air and to be thankful.’

  ‘You and your philosophies, Joe. You see how different you are from a white man? In spite of your father’s efforts, you are a native to the bone.’

  ‘Then perhaps I have the best of both worlds, Captain.’ Joe took Llinos’s hand and kissed her fingers. ‘I will go to settle my father’s affairs – I have bills to pay, promises to fulfil. But I’ll be back for you, my love, don’t doubt it.’

  She clung to him, her head buried against his shoulder. ‘I don’t want you to go.’

  Joe held her away from him. ‘It won’t be for long. While I’m away, think hard about your life, be a fulfilled woman by the time I come for you and I will be happy.’

  Llinos watched from the window as Joe walked away from Pottery Row and as he disappeared around the corner of the road, she felt as though he was taking part of her with him.

  As Joe left the house, he was fighting the anger and disappointment of finding Lloyd still set against him. He strode along Pottery Row and took the path down towards the river. He would need to buy a horse and tack as well as provisions for the journey. It would be better to find lodging for a night or two and once he was ready, he would begin the journey back to his home on the Marches.

  ‘Joe! I heard you were home.’ Eynon was just dismounting from his horse at the gates of Ty Mawr. ‘I’ve been for a gallop along the beach, it’s good to feel the sea breeze in your face when you want to blow away the cobwebs.’

  He gestured towards the house. ‘I’m staying here for the time being, my father is not well.’

  ‘I’m sorry to hear it, anything I can do?’

  ‘I don’t know. I’m hoping the fever will break soon,’ Eynon said.

  ‘I’ve got just the thing for fevers.’ Joe dipped into his baggage. ‘All you do is to distil . . .’

  ‘Hey, hold on! I’m no good at that stuff. Why don’t you come up to the house and mix the potion for me?’

  ‘All right. In return perhaps you can direct me to a good lodging house.’

  ‘You are looking for lodgings?’ Eynon asked. ‘So yo
u are not staying at the Savage Pottery, then?’

  ‘No, I’m not.’

  ‘Well, look, you can stay here with me, there are plenty of rooms, goodness knows. Anyway, I’m in need of company.’

  ‘How could I refuse such an offer?’ Joe swung his bag from his shoulder and rested it on the ground. Beneath his feet, shards of pottery crunched against the drive, glinting like diamonds in the sunlight.

  ‘Are you hungry, would you like a bite of something? I think the servants should have breakfast cooking by now.’

  Joe followed Eynon along the drive and into the hallway of the big house. ‘I’ll need to go into the kitchen,’ he said. ‘I’ll have to infuse some herbs in boiled water.’

  ‘Go ahead. Don’t mind the servants. Come and join me in the dining-room as soon as you are ready.’

  Joe made the potion silently, aware of the cook watching him with curious eyes. While the liquid cooled, he joined Eynon in the dining-room, realizing that he was hungry.

  Eynon put down his gleaming cutlery, ignoring the fine dish of kidneys and the fresh crusty bread.

  ‘I’m in love with Llinos and I want to marry her,’ he said. Joe looked at him for a long moment and decided that honesty was the only answer.

  ‘I know.’

  ‘Good. You are going away, Joe? Does that mean you will not be courting Llinos yourself?’

  Joe looked at him long and hard. ‘Lloyd has rejected me as a son-in-law,’ he said. ‘But Llinos and I are meant to be together, it will happen.’

  ‘Well, we’ll see,’ Eynon said. ‘I’m hoping she will grow tired of waiting and will accept me.’

  ‘I can’t stop you doing what you think best, Eynon.’ Joe smiled. ‘Our fates are drawn for us, do you believe that, Eynon?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Eynon said. Joe saw him look around at the high ceiling and opulent hangings. ‘Is this my fate then?’

  Joe was silent and after a moment Eynon spoke again. ‘I have always hated him, you know, my father.’ He swallowed the contents of his cup. ‘It’s mutual. He doesn’t want me near him, not even now when he’s sick. I wish he could have loved me.’

  Joe rose from the table. ‘I think the potion will be ready now. Shall I ask one of the maids to take it to your father?’

  ‘No.’ Eynon pushed away his plate. ‘I’ll do it.’ He left the room and Joe was alone with his thoughts.

  Later, when Joe was preparing to walk into town, Eynon protested that he must not bother to buy a horse, he could take one from the Tawe stables.

  ‘Good heavens, Joe, there are enough animals here to serve a regiment. Choose which one you like and you’ll find anything else you need in the tack room in the yard.’

  ‘That’s very generous of you, Eynon, but won’t your father protest?’

  ‘My father is in no position to protest. By the way, the medicine you concocted has brought about an improvement already. Should I give my father more of it?’

  ‘You can do, perhaps just before nightfall would be the best time. By morning we’ll know if it has worked or not.’

  In the evening, the two men sat together and talked. Eynon was drinking a great deal of brandy and his normally pale face became quite flushed.

  ‘She can’t marry you, Joe,’ he said suddenly. ‘It wouldn’t do, you see. You are a fine chap, a handsome chap, but she deserves the best. I mean, what can you offer her?’

  Joe smiled. ‘I don’t know, Eynon. Love, perhaps?’

  ‘Ah, well, love is all fine and good but what about material things, you might not think they count, Llinos might not believe they do either, not now but she will, later she will.’

  ‘Eynon, I’m not going to argue with you,’ Joe said. ‘If you will excuse me I’m going to turn in, I’m tired.’

  ‘All right, old boy. Sorry to be so hard on you but it won’t do, you see. Llinos must marry one of her own sort.’ As Joe left the room, he heard the clink of glass and knew that Eynon was pouring himself yet another brandy.

  Later, Joe lay in the elegant guest room, facing the fire, seeing the glow of the flames around the logs. He marvelled at the colours which sprang from the wood, he saw pictures in the flames, pictures of a girl with long black hair and eyes that melted the heart of him. Llinos.

  When he was with her he longed to undress her, to lie with her in the soft grasses of his homeland, to make her his own. And yet now, as he considered Eynon’s reproachful words and thought of Lloyd’s objections, he wondered if he was taking the wrong path. Joe sighed and shifted and turned his eyes away from the flames and when he slept, he dreamed of Llinos, dreamed he was touching, caressing her, dreamed they were one flesh. When he woke, the fire had died. Light was barely creeping into the bedroom.

  He splashed his face with water and ran his fingers through his hair. Then he picked up his bag and let himself out of the house. He looked back once at Pottery Row, at the house behind the wall, and sent Llinos his message of love.

  He moved out into the yard, heard the soft breathing of the horses in the stables and knew it was time to be on his way. The sun speared through the clouds and the breeze of morning touched his face and it was as though Llinos had answered him with a kiss.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  The pottery shed was filled with sunlight into which motes of dust fell like snow. Llinos watched as Mr Wright took one of the newly baked plates to the window and held it up to the light.

  ‘What do you think, Llinos?’

  She took the plate from him and examined it carefully, turning it around and then holding it at a level with her eye.

  ‘No misshaping in the heat, that’s one good thing. Some pitting on the glaze but not too much. I think we can call this one a success.’

  ‘Thank heavens you came back to us when you did.’ Mr Wright rubbed his hands against his apron. ‘I’ve missed your common sense and your good ideas.’

  ‘Thank you, Mr Wright.’ Llinos felt extraordinarily pleased at the compliment. ‘Mr Morton-Edwards is recovering slowly but he will need to take care of himself.’

  Mr Wright turned his eyes up to heaven. ‘Eynon does his best but he’s no substitute for his father.’ He smiled at Llinos. ‘I thank the good Lord for sending us a lady who is prepared to make decisions!’

  Llinos knew the old man was right, Eynon was not interested in experimenting with china. He was not interested in the business at all. He seemed to have withdrawn into a shell since his father’s illness. All Eynon seemed to want was to keep the pottery ticking over while he sat in the big house and brooded. It was not as if he could communicate with his father, the two were at loggerheads.

  She thought of her own father, how she had hated him for his attitude to Joe. It was because of her father that she and Joe were still apart. She had stayed in her father’s house, lived beneath his roof, but only on condition that she go back to work in the Tawe Potteries.

  Llinos wiped her hands on the cloth tucked in her belt. ‘I’d better be going,’ she said. ‘I’ve made Eynon promise to come with Binnie and me to Greenhill to see Maura. It’s time Binnie made up his mind to marry the girl and stopped acting like a child.’

  It did not escape her notice that Mr Wright was concealing a smile. To him she was just a young girl and a spinster to boot and yet Llinos knew she was much older than her years.

  Binnie now was different, he had remained a child for far too long. It was only lately that Binnie Dundee had begun to grow into a man. When Binnie had seen Maura return to claim her child and take her daughter to the home which she had provided for her, only then had he been forced to face the fact that as a father he was abdicating his responsibilities.

  Llinos left the sheds and brushed at her hair, feeling the grit from the china against her fingers. The soft breezes and the sunshine-dappled river made her think again of Joe; in truth, he was never far from her thoughts. She missed him, she dreamed about him, she ached to be with him. She took out his letter and read it again, even though the brief message w
as etched on her mind.

  ‘My dear Llinos, I am going to America. This is something I must do but I will come back to you, I promise.’

  It was signed in flowing script. Wah-he-joe-tass-e-neen.

  Llinos returned the letter to her pocket, it was all she had of him now. Joe had forsaken her. He had left the shores of Britain and gone to America to find his roots. In all probability, he would also find a wife from his own people and never return to Britain. Joe was lost to her.

  Would her father ever be sorry for his interference in her affairs? She doubted it. They scarcely spoke to each other these days.

  Eynon was sitting in the garden. He looked up at her and his expression lightened. ‘Llinos, come to spend some time with me?’

  ‘I’ve come to tell you to get ready for our little jaunt to Greenhill,’ she said. ‘I’ve seen Binnie and persuaded him to try to talk to Maura.’

  ‘I had forgotten.’ Eynon caught her hand. ‘And there I was thinking you wanted to be with me. You are a difficult woman at times!’

  ‘Eynon, my love, I wish I could help you to find what you really want in this life but I can’t, you know that.’

  He patted the seat and she sat beside him and he rested his head against hers. ‘Give it time, Llinos,’ Eynon said. He smiled. ‘I think your father would be pleased if you chose me, don’t you think so?’

  Llinos considered the matter. ‘I think my father would agree to me marrying anyone so long as it wasn’t Joe.’ She caught the look of hurt pride that crossed Eynon’s face. ‘But he would be over the moon if it was you, of course,’ she added hastily.

  ‘Well then, think about it. You have lost Joe, he’s gone away perhaps for ever, so why don’t you marry me and then one day everything I have will be yours, including the new porcelain recipes?’

  ‘It’s impossible,’ Llinos said, not even attempting to conceal her smile. ‘The only man I’ll marry is Joe.’

  He caught her hand and kissed her fingers. ‘Of course you’ll always love him but he’s not here and I am. Just don’t say anything now, promise you will think about it.’

  She chuckled. ‘I’ll think about it all right, think how mad you are, my dear, dear Eynon.’