Ruthie's Desire - The Esquire Girls Series - Ruthie's Story (Books 1, 2, 3 & 4) - Box Set

by Cassie-Ann L. Miller

He smiles softly. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to.” He turns to leave.

  “Who is this?” I ask raising the photo of the little girl to get his attention. “It’s not one of your sisters, is it?”

  In the dimly-lit living room, I see a look of affection move onto his face, but by the time his eyes rise to mine, that look has been replaced by apprehension. “It’s Tilly,” he says simply as he walks into the foyer.

  “Tilly?” I ask glancing down at the picture again.

  “Yes.” He’s slipping into his jacket now.

  “Who’s Tilly?” I ask insistently.

  Michael exhales audibly. “Come get your jacket, Ruth,” he says as he opens the front door. “I’m ready to leave.”

  I want to protest. To demand an answer about the pretty blond child. But before I can say a word, I hear Michael toss over his shoulder, “I’ll meet you in the car.”

  Then, I hear the elevator chime its arrival and I know that, at least for now, the conversation is over.

  Chapter 15

  “You seem a little down, Hails. What’s going on?”

  She looks up at me from a few steps down where she’s biting into the hummus and veggie wrap that she made at home this morning. This stairwell is our designated lunch spot on the days when we have lunch at the office, a place where we interns can get a little privacy and let our hair down while we eat. “I’m fine,” she says quietly, forcing a smile. But I know her and it’s not like her to be this quiet all throughout lunch.

  “You sure?” Nadia asks nudging Hailey lightly with her elbow.

  Hailey sighs and bites her lip as if contemplating whether she can trust us with her thoughts. “I just feel like I’m not losing any weight. I’ve been trying so hard. I’ve gone completely vegan. I work out all the time. I barely use any sweeteners – I just don’t get it.”

  “Honey – you are so skinny these days,” I say leaping to sit next to her. It’s not quite true but Hailey is beautiful just the way she is, with her bright blue eyes and rosy cheeks and wavy blond hair. Plus, she’s the nicest person I know.

  “Don’t lie to me, Ruthie. You’re pretty much a stick figure. It’s insulting to hear you lie to me.”

  “Girl – you need to date a black guy. Where I’m from, guys love a little extra junk in the trunk,” Nadia says snaking her neck and wiggling her finger in the air.

  Hailey gives a tiny smile even as her eyes are misting with tears. “I feel so pathetic. Why do I have to be such a fatty? Why can’t I just lose weight? It sounds so simple.”

  I give her a big hug and kiss the side of her face. “You have no idea how beautiful you are, Hails. No idea.”

  Chapter 16

  “There’s something I need to talk to you about.” Michael is standing at my door holding a bottle of red wine and a brown paper bag with something in it that smells divine.

  He’s the last person I expected to see at my door tonight. I’ve been avoiding him since dinner at his parents’ apartment on Sunday night. I’ve had this uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach ever since he refused to answer my simple question; who the hell is Tilly? If that little girl is his child, I need to know now, before I invest myself any further into this relationship.

  Maybe that’s what he wants to talk about. Maybe that’s why he’s here. I make room for him to enter and he steps over the threshold into my apartment.

  I follow him down the hall into my bedroom. Although Hailey isn’t here, I close the door as he sets the wine and bag down on my dresser. I don’t know what Michael is about to tell me but having the door closed makes me feel a sense of privacy and intimacy.

  He sits on the edge of my bed and I sink down next to him. He looks me in my eyes and brushes a stray tendril of hair from my face. “How have you been?” he asks in a soft voice. “It feels like forever since I’ve seen you.”

  I shrug my shoulders lightly. “I’m fine.” I don’t want to make small talk. I want to know what’s brought him here to my apartment at 8:30 on a Wednesday night. “What do you need to tell me?”

  He takes my hand and pulls it to his lips, kissing it tenderly before cradling it in his lap. He’s making me nervous now.

  “Michael – what is it? Is it about Tilly?”

  A perplexed look comes over his face. “Tilly?”

  “Are you here to tell me that Tilly is your daughter?” My bottom lip quivers lightly as I sit in anxious anticipation of his response.

  And then, he laughs. He throws his damn head back and laughs. “No – Tilly isn’t my daughter.”

  “Who is she, then?” I ask. I need him to solve the mystery for me. I need that missing piece of the puzzle of his life.

  He searches my face for a long moment as if trying to decide whether he can trust me. He exhales audibly. “Tilly is my niece.”

  I try to make sense of this information. “Your niece?...Your niece.” And just like an ocean wave, understanding washes over me. “Tilly…Mathilda. Her name is Mathilda.”

  He nods letting me know that I’ve correctly read between the lines. Matt is a father. He has beautiful little daughter. I exhale, relieved.

  “I love her dearly. She’s an angel. But the relationship between her mother and Matt is…difficult. The circumstances surrounding her birth – All that to say, I need you to keep this between us. I shouldn’t have discussed this with you. Please, don’t repeat it to anyone.”

  I assure him with an earnest nod. “I won’t tell anyone.” The Moretti family secret – an innocent little girl – is safe with me.

  But now that the mystery around Tilly has been solved, it’s time to deal with the real reason that Michael is here.

  He leans over and kisses me softly on the mouth. “I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you while I’ve been here in New York, Ruth –“ Uh-oh. I don’t like where this is going. “You’ve made my time here incredible. You’ve made me forget that my stay here was only temporary.”

  “Are you leaving?” The words rush past my lips before I can manage to temper them. They’re wrought with emotion. He can’t be leaving. He can’t.

  He nods at me. “My father is well enough to take back the reins of the firm. And financially, things are improving. The senior partners met last week and decided that they all feel comfortable enough with the way things are at present. And now, I have to go back to California. Back to my entertainment law practice –“

  I press my fingers to his lips. He’s leaving. The details don’t really matter. All I know is that the man I’ve begun to fall for is leaving. “When?” That’s all I can manage to say without breaking down into tears.

  He pulls my head to his shoulder and kisses the bridge of my nose. “At the end of the week.”

  “Well, I don’t want to waste one second not making love to you,” I confess breathily as I run my tongue along the patch of flesh behind his ear.

  He shudders under my tongue and his hand slips beneath my sweatshirt to cup my breast. “Let’s not waste a second.”

  Chapter 17

  “So, are you gonna date long-distance?” Hailey asks dunking a pita chip into the complimentary garlicky tofu dip sitting in the middle of the small wooden table.

  “We haven’t worked those details out yet,” I say thumbing the rim of my teacup as I stare off into the distance.

  “Well, that’s a pretty important detail. Don’t ya think?”

  Michael’s been gone for three days and we’ve been in contact each day since. Still, it’s not like we hammered out an agreement about how we’ll conduct our relationship now that he’s gone. I guess we’re just going with the flow, which isn’t very a lawyerly thing to do.

  I should have approached the subject with him before he left, but honestly, I think I’m just scared. I don’t want to hear him tell me that our relationship isn’t serious or, worse yet, that he wants to end it.

  I’ve started to need him.

  “Ruthie – don’t ya think?” Hailey repeats herself breaking me away from my thoughts.


  I heave a sigh. “I guess. I don’t know. Let’s talk about something else.” I’m starting to feel weary and it’s not because of the half hour I just spent on the elliptical machine.

  “Okay,” Hailey says looking slightly offended. She returns her attention to the snack in front of her.

  A deafening silence falls over us as we continue to nibble on our finger food. I get lost in my thoughts, wondering what’s in store for me and Michael, wondering where our relationship will take us. I want something permanent with him. I know it’s crazy since I barely know him but the way I feel about him is overwhelming. He’s all I think about. He’s all I want.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see Hailey waving frantically in the direction of the door. I follow her stare and see Madison standing near the entrance of this Tribeca vegan restaurant. She looks effortlessly chic as usual with her hair pulled back into a neat chignon and a Burberry scarf to compliment her classic knee-length trench coat.

  Really?

  I lean in to Hailey. “You invited Madison? Why didn’t you tell me?” I still feel extremely awkward and uncomfortable around Michael’s sister.

  Hailey offers me a plastic smile. ”Actually, you invited yourself here. Madison and I made plans to try out this restaurant weeks ago.”

  Wow – touché.

  I did just invite myself here today. When Hailey told me that she was hitting the gym before heading to a vegan restaurant for lunch, I had just thrown on my sneakers and gym gear without question. Inviting myself to hang out with my roommate has never been a problem before, but now that she’s becoming friends with Michael’s sister, I guess I should stop being so presumptuous. I guess I just needed to get out of the house today.

  “Hi Hailey,” Madison says cheerfully as she approaches our table.

  “Maddie – I’m so glad you’re here,” Hailey chirps as she pulls out the chair next to her to make space for Madison.

  “Ruth – I didn’t know you were coming. It’s really nice to hang out with you again.” Madison offers me a bright smile that seems genuine.

  “Hi Madison,” I say softly. Uncomfortably.

  She reaches across the table and taps my hand excitedly. “My brother can’t stop talking about you. He’s going crazy out in L.A. without you.”

  My eyebrows shoot up. “Really?” Yes – I know that Michael likes me, but hearing it from Madison’s lips offers me some sort of soothing validation.

  She laughs. “Yes, really. I’ve never seen him like this. It’s a good sign.”

  Hailey offers a low whistle. “Team Ruthie!”

  I feel myself blushing. “I really like him, too.” I say in a voice that’s barely audible.

  “I’m so happy about this,” Madison announces clapping her hands together.

  I look over at her and she’s nothing like the cold, distant ice queen that I always thought she was. She’s warm and sociable and she’s rooting for her brother and me. “I really appreciate you saying that.”

  She smiles. “The Moretti kids stick together. That’s one thing that Michael taught us. That’s the most important thing he taught us. He’s always been such an awesome brother. So now, I’m just happy that he’s happy.”

  It’s so crazy. I was completely apprehensive about hanging out with Madison but now, she’s shown me an unexpected side of her and given me invaluable insight into the way Michael feels about me.

  “I thought you’d be pissed that Michael is seeing me,” I confess with a small laugh.

  Her lips twitch just a touch. “I’ve gotta admit that I was surprised that night when he showed up at your apartment –”

  Hailey howls with laughter. “Puh-leeze, Madison. You were shocked. Dumbfounded.”

  Madison rolls her eyes. “Fine – I was very surprised. Are you happy, Hailey?” Hailey nods suppressing a giggle. “But ultimately, I’m just happy that my brother’s happy.”

  I smile broadly. “I’m happy that he’s happy, too.”

  Chapter 18

  “Hello?” My smartphone started ringing the instant I settled into my bed with a bowl of chocolate fudge ice cream and notes from my Taxation Law class.

  “Ruthie, I need to talk to you.” Sergei’s voice is rough and demanding on the other end of the line.

  “Stop calling me!” I snarl into the receiver.

  “This is serious, Ruth. Don’t make me –” I quickly disconnect the call before he can complete his threat. I’m living a new life now. I’m a new person. Sergei has no control over me. At least that’s what I tell myself to reinforce myself against the shivers racing through my body.

  Instantly, my phone rings again. It’s the same number Sergei just called from. I hit the “End” button without hesitation. I take a few deep breaths to center myself and calm my anxiety.

  And my phone has the nerve to ring again. Only this time, Michael’s name pops up on my screen. I push a sigh of relief just as I answer the phone. “Hi.”

  “I really wanna see you.”

  His soft confession flows over me like a warm blanket on this chilly early November night.

  “I wanna see you, too. I miss you,” I hear myself saying.

  He exhales hard. “I don’t know when I’ll be able to make it back out to New York. I have so much work piled up over here.”

  “Maybe I can come see you…over the Christmas holiday…if you don’t have any plans.” The words come out of my mouth tentatively.

  He chuckles softly. “I want you so bad. I don’t know if I can wait till Christmas.”

  I shuffle under my sheets as I try to work out a solution. “How about Thanksgiving? Can you come to New York then?”

  “No. I don’t plan on it. I should be in Vancouver that weekend dealing with some copyright issues with a film director client of mine.” He groans in frustration.

  “Sounds like all work, no play for you. Don’t tell me that you plan on working on your birthday next Saturday.”

  I hear him snicker softly. “Guilty as charged.”

  “Oh come on, Michael – you have to have a little fun. Go out for a drink with your friends…Meet a few girls.” I’m only half-joking. The other part of me is testing the waters, trying to find out if he’s still seeing other people.

  “Don’t play games, Ruth. You know that I don’t want to go anywhere or hang out with anyone unless you’re there. Don’t act like you don’t know that.”

  I feel my whole body heat up. “I don’t want to be presumptuous. You’re a young, gorgeous, rich guy living in Los Angeles. You have options.”

  “Ruth, there are no other options. I’m crazy about you. You’re all I want.”

  I feel butterflies fill up my tummy. “You live on the other side of the country.”

  “You’re all I want.” He’s serious about this. There’s no mistaking the tone of his voice.

  “So, you’re not seeing any other women?”

  “No. And you will not see any other men. You’re mine, Ruth. It’s as simple as that.”

  Chapter 19

  “Wow. This place is awesome,” I say grinning excitedly at Madison who is in the corner slipping into her jacket as the last of her tiny students leaves the dance studio hand in hand with her mother.

  “I know, right? I’m in love with this place,” she says pausing briefly to glance around the small space. “Sometimes I wish I could teach these little girls ballet everyday. Not just on Saturdays.”

  I laugh. “You love your father’s law firm way too much to give it up.”

  “You’re actually right,” she says as she flicks off the lights and the studio falls into darkness. I take that as my cue to step into the hallway. I watch in silence as she sets the alarms and locks the door.

  Madison dropped by my cubicle yesterday to ask me if I wanted to meet her for coffee this afternoon. I’m glad that she reached out to me. I feel so strongly for Michael and I’d really like to have some of his family in my corner.

  “There’s a coffee shop right next door,�
�� she says as she leads me down the stairs and pushes the main door open onto the bustling Manhattan street. “They sell amazing cranberry scones.”

  “Sounds good,” I say.

  Once we get to the café, Madison orders a latte with extra foam and I get a glass of milk. We each get a scone and settle into a cozy table in the corner.

  “It was really nice meeting the rest of your family at dinner the other night,” I say as Madison adds sugar to her drink.