Split the Aces

by Jove Belle

  Rae couldn’t conceive of taking a risk like that, or making such a profound promise. But when she was with Cori she wasn’t so certain. Anything seemed possible. “How did you know you could keep that promise?”

  Marco shrugged. “I just knew.”

  Rae stared down at her empty plate. Was it possible to know about forever after only four days? Maybe for someone like Marco. She would need longer than that to make any kind of real commitment. Hell, maybe she’d never be able to make such a serious promise. There was only one way to find out, and Cori was the first woman who’d made her consider the possibility.

  Right now Cori was out there watching a little white ball circle the roulette wheel, while Rae was sitting here feeling sorry for herself. If she wanted something good to happen, she couldn’t keep waiting for it to come to her. She needed to be the one to take a chance.

  “I’ve got to go.” She stood. “Thanks, Marco. For everything.”

  Rae didn’t stop to think about what she would say, what she should say, as she walked up to Cori. She was afraid that any kind of hesitation would stop her cold. All the same, when those smoldering dark eyes lifted to her, she wished she’d taken a moment to prepare herself.

  “Hi.” She almost stammered.

  Cori ignored the greeting and turned her attention back to the roulette table without a word. She sat a stack of chips on black seventeen.

  Rae’s vocal cords ground to a halt. She wasn’t used to being given the cold shoulder. Women responded to her and sought her out. Cori’s obvious disdain set her adrift in new territory and Rae didn’t enjoy feeling lost.

  Falling back on time-tested technique, she stepped in and placed her hand lightly on Cori’s back. She moved her mouth next to Cori’s ear and paused. She could feel Cori’s body responding. Her breathing increased ever so slightly and a light tremor worked its way up her spine. Cori may not want to talk to her, but her body still craved Rae’s touch.

  Encouraged by the unconscious response, she said, “I’ve got another fifteen minutes on my lunch.” Cori’s body stiffened. Unsure if that was a good or bad sign, Rae continued, keeping her voice low and intimate. “Care to join me?”

  Cori scooped up her chips and wheeled around, outrage and steam rising off her. “No, Rae. I don’t want to join you.” Her words flew out with tight, clipped precision, gaining momentum as she spoke. “I don’t want to be yet another woman to follow you willingly to a supply closet…a supply closet, because you’re too busy to fit in more than a few minutes on your lunch break. I don’t want to be another name on your list of conquests, but it’s too late for that I suppose.”

  She pushed past Rae, her eyes glistening, the fire fading from her words.

  Rae chased after her, stopping her just before she reached the elevator. “What do you want, Cori? Tell me.”

  “Nothing.” Cori shook her head for emphasis. “You can’t give me what I want.”

  Rae wanted to argue, to be the kind of person Marco was, someone able to promise forever after four days and mean it. But she couldn’t. It wasn’t something she was capable of. Cori was right. She couldn’t give her what she wanted. Hell, she didn’t even know what Cori wanted. She might never know. Cori would leave in a few days and the way things were going, Rae would never hear from her again. She couldn’t let that happen.

  Searching for a way to buy more time, she said, “We need to slow down. Please, Cori. Let’s back up.”

  She could see the clock on the wall over Cori’s head. Lunch would be over in just a few moments but she didn’t care if she was late or not. Fixing things with Cori was more important.

  “There’s nothing to slow down, Rae. You made that abundantly clear last night.” Cori stabbed her thumb at the elevator buttons.

  “I’m sorry. I was an asshole.” Rae pushed a hand through her hair. “You’ve got me so damned wound up and confused I don’t know which way is up. All I know for sure is that the thought of never seeing you again is making me sick.”

  “Why?” Cori’s voice was ice-cold to match the look in her eyes. “You have a rotating pool of women lining up for a chance to spend thirty minutes with you. And there are some things I’m not willing to share. The sooner I go back to Seattle, the better. For both of us.”

  It was a perfectly logical argument and Rae couldn’t dispute it. But she also couldn’t agree. The very thought made her chest ache. “I don’t know how to explain. I can’t get it all sorted out in my head. I just know how I feel.”

  Rae couldn’t believe the words coming out of her mouth. She was confessing to a need she couldn’t define and couldn’t shake. Normally she kept her emotions in a tidy container somewhere in the back of her mind. She was aware of them, but she certainly didn’t allow them free rein. Her life was controlled, logical, and on track. Work and school took priority. She was driven and focused on her career. She had never let anyone distract her from that. Until now.

  Now she was skipping classes, intentionally returning late to her shift, and had ignored a stream of women all day long. All for Cori. Why wasn’t that enough? Why did Cori want her to lock up her libido and hand over the key? They’d only known each other for a few days. Cori had no right to expect that kind of sacrifice. Rae didn’t owe fidelity to someone she’d just met, and she didn’t owe Cori an apology for that. But here she was, ready to beg her forgiveness.

  “Cori, listen, about Vicky—”

  “Puleeze.” Cori cut her off mid-sentence. “I don’t want to know her name.”

  She wasn’t going to make this easy. Rae tried again. “I’m sorry.”

  “What, Rae? What are you sorry for?”

  Rae didn’t respond. The answer seemed self-evident.

  “Are you sorry I saw you? Sorry that you did it? Sorry that I cared? Sorry that you used her? Sorry that you used me? Sorry that you won’t be fucking me again?” Cori advanced on Rae, her eyes dark and thundering. “Tell me, Rae, what exactly are you sorry for?”

  That was a good question. Was she sorry about having sex with Vicky? She didn’t know. She’d had sex with lots of women. Was she suddenly supposed to be sorry about her entire sexual history? Mostly she was sorry that she’d somehow hurt Cori. She couldn’t stand that anything she did upset her. Still, she didn’t think that was the answer Cori was looking for.

  She held out her hands, palms up in supplication. “I’m sorry for everything.” And she was. If she could take back that interlude with Vicky, she would, and not just because Cori was angry with her.

  Cori sagged against the wall. “I know I’m being irrational and unreasonable.” She spoke more to herself than to Rae. “I’m acting like a damn crazy woman, but I can’t help it. The sight of that woman on her knees in front of you.” She raised her eyes to meet Rae’s. “Knowing that it was her mouth, not mine.” Her voice faded and she looked away. “It was so infuriating. And…sexy. I couldn’t stop watching. I had to stay and watch you come, but I wanted it to be me. Not her. I can’t explain it.”

  Wow. Rae’s head spun as Cori shared the experience from her point of view. She had no idea how much the encounter had affected her, or that there was more to her reaction than just jealousy and anger.

  “I wanted it to be you,” Rae confessed in a whisper. “It wasn’t working at all until I pictured you. That’s when everything exploded. And I opened my eyes and there you were. I thought for sure I was imagining you. Until you ran.”

  They stood in silence for several minutes. The conversation was too much for Rae to absorb. All she knew was that she’d said enough to prove she was losing her mind. Yet Cori was still with her, if only for a few more minutes. She didn’t want to screw that up.

  “What now?” she finally dared to ask.

  Cori shook her head. “I have no idea.”

  Rae gathered Cori’s hand in hers and brought it to her lips. After gently kissing the fingertips, she held it to her chest. “Spend the day with me tomorrow.”

  She had thought about asking i
f Cori would join her after work, but she didn’t want to push her luck. She wanted Cori to know that she was searching for more than just her next orgasm. And she needed Cori to see her as more than just a sexual partner.

  Cori smiled. “Really?”

  “Yeah.” Rae mentally ran through her plan for the day. She had obligations, but nothing Cori couldn’t share, if she was willing. “It’s Sunday. No school, no work. But I promised my mom I’d help her with some stuff around her house. You could join us.”

  The casual offer was tinged with uncertainty. She couldn’t hide the way Cori affected her. Somehow in just a few days she had derailed Rae’s intentions, shaking them up and handing them back in a complete jumble.

  “Please,” she added more seriously. “I’d like it a lot.”

  Rae’s offer definitely wasn’t what Cori had expected. Even during their afternoon at Hoover Dam, she constantly seemed to be working toward her next seduction. She would act shy and uncertain, but beneath it all, Cori sensed she was marking the time until she could get her into bed again. After the quarrel they’d just had, how would it be to spend the day with her and her mom?

  Cori let the idea stay with her for a few moments. They’d finally admitted to feelings that weren’t easy to understand. She didn’t know what to make of Rae’s sudden candor, or even whether she could trust what she was hearing. Rae had said she couldn’t reach an orgasm the other night until she’d imagined Cori’s mouth on her. That knowledge excited Cori but also confused her, a reaction she needed a lot more time to process.

  Tomorrow seemed far away, especially considering she was leaving Las Vegas the day after, on Monday. She wanted to invite Rae up to her room now but didn’t think she could handle intimate contact hot on the heels of their shared emotions. She needed to get to know Rae outside of the bedroom. And she needed to find out if Rae could see her as more than a sexual conquest. That Rae had extended the invitation spoke volumes, far more than her forced apology and subsequent revelations.

  Cori watched the minutes pass on the wall clock and kept waiting for Rae to announce that she had to go, but still, she stayed. It was time to release her before she lost her job.

  “What time should I expect you in the morning?”

  “Is that a yes? You’ll spend the day with me?” Rae looked like she was ready to hop up and down with excitement.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Cori paused, trying to understand why she had agreed. She couldn’t pull her thoughts together enough to analyze her reasons. Finally she conceded, “But yes, I’ll spend the day with you.”

  “You won’t regret it.” Rae gave her a hug that was disappointingly brief and impersonal. “I promise.”

  Cori watched her run back to the pit. She moved easily, as if the tension had drained from her body. Cori was glad she’d had that effect, but her contentment worried her. A relationship with Rae would be logistically difficult unless she joined the band and moved to Vegas. And even if she did, there was no guarantee of anything lasting. The risk of gambling on a woman like Rae was obvious. People didn’t change. Rae hadn’t pretended to be anything she wasn’t. And even if she really did have some feelings for Cori, how long would they last? Cori was only signing up for heartache if she allowed Rae in.

  Releasing the breath she was holding, she made herself relax. Everything was going to be okay. She would enjoy tomorrow, and then she knew what she had to do. Saying a final good-bye wouldn’t be easy, but Rae was who she was and Cori was too realistic to pretend she could turn her into something else. Even if Rae wasn’t sure what she really wanted, Cori had no doubt. They weren’t on the same page, and they never would be.

  Chapter Nine

  The light pink paper crinkled in Rae’s hand and she smoothed the edges with her fingers. She felt silly carrying the bouquet of tulips and lilies up to Cori’s room, but she always took fresh cut flowers on her Sunday visits. Her mom’s one great regret about living in the desert was that gardens didn’t flourish with the same burst of color, spring or not, as in the rest of the country. So Rae tried to take her a seasonal bouquet on a regular basis. Granted, that didn’t mean she had to do the same for Cori, but she wanted to avoid awkwardness. Cori would notice the flowers on the backseat and wonder if they were for her. She might feel put out that Rae had only purchased lovely blooms for her mother. That was what she told herself until the door opened and Cori’s eyes lit up.

  “They’re beautiful.” She buried her face in the red and yellow blossoms and inhaled.

  Rae felt the blood rushing to her face and hoped her tan would hide the blush. She’d never bought flowers for a woman, other than her mom. She didn’t know what to expect, but Cori’s reaction was perfect. She dragged Rae through the door by her lips. Not the greeting she’d expected after their heated argument the night before, but she wasn’t about to complain.

  “I’m glad you like them.” The sentiment was a gross understatement, but her brain couldn’t come up with anything else.

  Cori looked around the room. “I don’t have anything to put them in.”

  “Oh.” Rae cursed the oversight. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

  In fact, she knew exactly what she’d been thinking. She wanted Cori to like her again. Simple. Practicalities, like a vase, had escaped her. She searched the room and offered the plastic ice bucket as a possibility. “How about this?”

  Cori held the bouquet in front of her like a baton, or possibly a trophy, as she walked into the bathroom. She ran some water into the container and arranged the blooms carefully. Her fingers lingered on a waxy red tulip petal. “No one’s ever given me flowers. It’s quite…lovely. A real…”

  “Surprise?” Rae suggested with faint cynicism.

  “What I meant was that I didn’t expect anything so…romantic.”

  Rae hesitated. Flowers were romantic, and given what they usually meant, the offering seemed unexpected to her as well. She smiled and shrugged, sure her blush was obvious now. “I don’t know what to say.”

  Cori kissed her lightly on the lips. “Don’t say anything. This is perfect as is.”

  They stood, lost in each other, until the sound of the door being opened startled them into motion. Julie, looking worse for the party she’d attended the night before, stood in the entrance, her gaze moving from Cori to Rae, to the vase of flowers, then back to Cori.

  “I’m interrupting.”

  “No, we were just leaving.” Cori kissed her on the cheek and led Rae from the room.

  “Be good,” Julie called after them. Then laughed.

  *

  The drive to Rae’s mom’s passed quickly with Cori sitting quietly, apparently lost in thought. She didn’t comment on the bundle sitting in the backseat. If it bothered her that Rae had bought flowers for her mother as well, she didn’t mention it.

  “Anything I should know about your mom before we get there?” she asked as they entered an older neighborhood in North Las Vegas. The houses here were built wind-tough to protect against unpredictable desert storms.

  Plenty, Rae thought. For instance, her mom had no idea Cori was joining them. Rae hadn’t thought to tell her. “Well, she’s lived in Vegas her whole life. She has an unbelievable collection of Dean Martin records, and she thinks I can do no wrong.”

  “You must be the youngest kid.” Cori’s face was serene and her tone innocent.

  “Why, do I seem spoiled?” Rae parked in the driveway and remarked uneasily, “This is it.”

  The laughter in Cori’s eyes relaxed her a little bit, but she couldn’t help the knot of tension in her stomach. She was nervous. She’d never brought a girlfriend home to meet her mom. Girlfriend. The word brought Rae up short. When exactly had she applied that term to Cori? Furthermore, what would Cori think if she knew? Giving her new emotions room to breathe was proving more confusing than she would have thought. Life was simpler when she knew, with the certainty of unemotional detachment, what the outcome of her actions would be.
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  Cori placed her hand on Rae’s arm, stopping her from exiting the car. “Rae, I don’t know why you’re doing this, but thank you. It means a lot to me that you would bring me here.”

  “Yeah?” Rae raised one eyebrow, too nervous to pull off cool. “I’m glad.”

  She didn’t add that she would’ve spent the day doing just about anything, including fire-walking or eating actual mud pies, to enjoy Cori’s company for just a little longer. Hell, she might have even attended the Republican National Convention if Cori asked her to.

  With her mom’s bouquet under one arm, and holding Cori’s hand, Rae waited at the door. Normally she would use her key, but with Cori along, that didn’t seem like the right thing to do. She tried for a casual smile as she heard her mom unlocking the door. If Norma Sutherland was surprised that Rae wasn’t alone, she didn’t let it show. She swept them both inside, dropped a kiss on Rae’s cheek, and introduced herself to Cori without skipping a beat.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Sutherland.”

  “No, sweetie, call me Norma.” She led them into the kitchen and took a vase from the pantry. “Mrs. Sutherland was an old dragon of a woman who terrorized my life.” She winked. “God rest her soul.”

  “Mom never liked her mother-in-law,” Rae explained, avoiding her own feelings about her grandmother.

  “Ex mother-in-law, I’ll thank you to remember.”

  Pearl Sutherland had been a difficult woman during her lifetime, demanding, harsh, and more than a little unforgiving. But Rae had chased after her love. Her grandmother was the only thing left in Vegas of the absentee father Rae barely remembered. Eventually, their relationship had grown to one of mutual tolerance, if not outright familial love. Her grandmother had taught her a lot about discipline, dedication, and hard work, and it had pleased her when Rae took to the lessons with a fervor sorely lacking in her only son.

  Rae’s relationship with her had been a complicated dance of mutual antagonism and protective admiration. At once proud and condemning of her, Pearl was seemingly incapable of saying “good job” without following the compliment with advice on how to do better next time. Rae didn’t know how to explain the emotional soup surrounding her memories of her grandmother. Cori already looked shell-shocked without hearing the details. Norma had that effect on people.