Fade (Chaos)

by Claire Farrell

  “I don’t get it.”

  “She means more or less time could pass while you’re here, at least by your understanding. You won’t know exactly how much until you return. There’s just no way of knowing how much time the Fade will eat.” Grim handed me a cup of water.

  I stared at the drink, feeling chilled all of a sudden. “It could be a long time then?”

  “It’s unlikely to be too dramatic,” Bekind said. “We’re not going to dawdle here. We’ll get back as soon as we can, I promise.”

  “Good.” I took a sip of water and felt a little refreshed.

  I obediently chewed on a hunk of freshly roasted rabbit, and Realtín amused herself by fetching fresh berries from a nearby bush. Soon, I felt like myself again.

  “Take a nap,” Bekind said. “When Dubh is ready, we’ll move on.”

  We rested on some velvety grass. We didn’t need a blanket in the sudden heat. Grim and Bekind were murmuring together when I dozed off. I didn’t dream at all.

  Later, Grim gently shook me awake. “We let you sleep as long as we dared. But it’s time to move on now.”

  I nodded sleepily and sat up to drink from a cup of water he handed me. Peeing behind trees in strange forests made me feel a little scruffy, but we were far from faery courts. I felt a little less like hell when I climbed on Dubh’s back again.

  We rode through the late afternoon. Dubh’s frantic gallop was gone, but he still kept a fast pace. The journey was boring because the featureless meadows stretched on forever. Every now and then, one would be a dramatic colour, but it was gaudy after the more natural-looking lush forest I had grown used to.

  I sensed the change when we reached the Darkside. The air thickened, leaving a moist coating on my skin. That pulsing of magic grew erratic and made my heart race.

  “Is it really called the Darkside?” I asked, shivering a little.

  “It’s the nickname for this area. It’s a way of putting people off coming here, I suppose,” Grim replied.

  The sharp wind stung my skin, and the sun was smaller and darker than the one I was used to seeing. I wondered if it was a different sun or merely an illusion. The velvety grass had changed into a dry, arid wasteland, and the heat became intense.

  “We should ride at night,” I said. “It would be cooler then, right?”

  “You never know with the Darkside,” Grim said. “Nothing is as it seems in the fae realm, but the Darkside is the most chaotic place there is. Nothing can be trusted here.”

  “Have you been here before?”

  “Not me. As a race, we don’t venture out here much. Even the queens kept their council in the neutral territories. The rumours that come from here would make your hair stand on end. The quicker we travel through here, the better. There’s something unsettling about this place.”

  I pointed at two large hills in the distance. On either side of them ran a wide river, but our path wouldn’t get close to the water. “I take it that’s the Hollows.”

  “The Hollow Hills, yes. They call it the Hollows because they say you can’t walk between the hills with your soul intact. If you return, you return empty. Hollow. The truth may be something else. We’ll have to be wary when we get there.” He glanced around. “We need to be wary even now.”

  We rode on through a desert-like place until the sky became so black that we couldn’t see in front of us. I almost fell off Dubh when I dozed off unexpectedly. He came to a stop and whinnied loudly. Bekind, who I hadn’t seen for ages, suddenly appeared out of nowhere in her human form. I could barely see her. The only light came from Realtín, and even her glow had diminished the farther we moved into the Darkside.

  “We’ll rest behind those rocks,” Bekind said, pointing at some enormous boulders. “They should shelter us a little from the wind.”

  We made camp. I was so tired that I wasn’t much help. Even in my exhaustion, I kept glancing up at the boulders, terrified they would fall on top of us.

  While Grim made some food, Realtín hummed on my shoulder and twisted my hair into knots.

  “Do I have dreadlocks yet?” I asked, flicking her when she pulled too hard.

  “You’ll have to shave yourself bald when we get back,” she said smartly. “There’s no saving this mop.”

  Later, as we ate together around a small fire, Bekind nodded at me. “You’re doing well. I didn’t expect you to last this long. I know you’re used to comfort.”

  “It’s not so bad.” I kept thinking I saw movement in the dark. It made me nervous, but if Bekind was complimenting me, I didn’t exactly want to share my childish fears. I had good reason for them, but she already knew about that.

  “Still,” she continued, “you haven’t complained, even though I know you’re in pain.”

  I held up my bundle. “The Miacha did well by me. They’re pretty amazing.”

  “And you’re feeling better now? When you were ill, I did suspect the Miacha of harming you.”

  “I’m fine,” I said firmly. “It was a mixture of everything hitting me at once. I just won’t miss a meal again.”

  She nodded. “You need your energy. We all do.” She glanced at our remaining meagre supplies. “It’s a pity we don’t have more.”

  “We can scavenge something along the way,” Grim said. “Worst comes to worst, surely you can hunt us a small animal or two.”

  Bekind smiled hesitantly at him. She was so beautiful when she smiled, but she spent most of her time as a human scowling. As a cat, she seemed far more contented.

  “Are we going to make it to the Fade?” I asked.

  Bekind put on a determined expression. “We have to. We can’t go back without—”

  A scrambling sound to the left interrupted her. Dubh whinnied, stamping his feet. He ran toward the sound, his ears pricked and his eyes glowing even more than usual. I jumped to my feet and stared after him, straining to see in the dark. I heard a scream and a yelping sound, then Dubh galloped toward us, his eyes wide. Blood stained his front hooves and legs.

  The ground collapsed. I screamed as I sank into a hole that opened up beneath my feet. Dubh gripped my cloak and tried to help, but a tiny hand grabbed my ankle. I kicked it away.

  “What is it?” I shouted as multiple holes appeared in the sand around us. I grabbed a knife from a hidden pocket in my riding suit and held it tight, thinking of the Pooka I had accidentally killed.

  “Tunnellers!” Grim shouted. “They bury themselves underground. Careful, they’re nasty. Don’t let them take you underneath!”

  “You can’t defend yourself, Cara!” Realtín went on fire. Streams of red and gold flew in all directions, giving us light enough to see for metres away. “You have to attack and mean it this time! You have to kill!”

  She was spinning in a tizzy, but the glow gave us eyes again. But I wasn’t sure I wanted to see what I was seeing. Ugly little creatures shot up from the holes in the ground, smaller than Grim, but far more ferocious looking, their teeth snapping. More sand collapsed around them, suffocating some of them. Still, they kept coming. Some ran on four legs, others on two feet, but they were all misshapen things, naked and hairless and covered in scars and mud-coloured paint. There were so many surrounding us that I didn’t know how we would survive. Realtín was right. I had to kill to stay alive.

  Following Grim’s lead, I grabbed a second knife from my boot. Armed with both hands, I jabbed and kicked as three little creatures jumped me. Dubh neighed and trampled more flooding from the holes. Bekind slashed at them with her cat claws.

  Grim jumped over a charge of them, stabbing them in their backs. He was gone after more before those fell, circling in an effort to protect Realtín and me.

  One flew at my face. I impaled him on my dagger. I flung the body away in disgust, almost losing the knife in the process. I didn’t have time to think, but after the first death of the vermin, the rest were easier. They came harder and faster, one by one, a never-ending stream.

  They grabbed my ankles and pull
ed, trying to topple me over, but I was ready for them. I stamped and stabbed and kicked. Realtín ripped away one that had clung to my back. But there were too many. A group of them managed to knock me down, and more swarmed over me. I couldn’t get back up, so I knelt there and swung my daggers.

  I heard the clash of swords behind me and wondered what was going on, but I was too busy frantically stabbing the nasty, biting creatures pulling at me with their grimy clawed fingers. They made sucking sounds that turned my stomach. With a grunt, I stabbed the closest one through the forehead.

  The wave of attacks eased all of a sudden. I knew by the sounds of swords and shouting that we were being helped. I stayed in place, knives in hand, and stabbed one whenever I could. I jabbed a tunneller to my right, and with my other hand, I ripped away a creature clinging to my hair and pinned him to the ground, where I ended his life with a quick thrust to the chest.

  And then it was over. I looked around, shocked and appalled to see myself surrounded by dead bodies. Grim was close by, panting hard, his face covered in scratches.

  Two legs appeared in front of me, and a pale hand was offered.

  Looking up into violet eyes, I took Drake’s hand and rose to my feet.

  Chapter Six

  We stood there, staring at each other, my hand still in his. My insides whirled as I looked into his eyes. I was finally looking at Drake, just Drake, and I was on my way to get to Brendan. None of it made sense. A tingle spread up my arm, and my breath hitched.

  “Hi,” he said wryly.

  “Hi.”

  His grip tightened. “Are you okay?”

  “You can’t make me go back.”

  The corners of his mouth rose into a bemused smile. “I realised that when I went looking for you after the ceremony only to find you had disappeared.”

  “You looked for me?”

  He dropped my hand and made an exasperated sound. “Of course I did. Do you have any idea how dangerous this is?”

  “Yes. And I’m not going to change my mind.”

  He folded his arms and scowled. “Obviously. That’s why we have to come with you.”

  “We?” I glanced around, finally remembering we weren’t alone. “Oh, my God!”

  I ran to the group who had joined us. I felt as though we had been separated for ages. I hugged Anya tight.

  She looked me over with tears in her eyes. “Realtín, what on earth have you done with her hair?”

  “Kept it tidy!” Realtín snapped.

  I moved on to Líle.

  She thumped my shoulder in greeting. “Why do you have to insist on making me look bad at my job?” she teased. Then she pulled me close for a hug. “It was cruel to leave us behind,” she whispered.

  “I’m sorry. I couldn’t wait in case he sent me away.”

  Arlen separated us. “Don’t suffocate your charge.”

  I stared up at the imposing warrior faery. “You, too?”

  He nodded. “If you had waited, we could have ridden together. I am responsible for Brendan’s safety, after all.”

  “So you don’t think this is stupid?”

  “Oh, it’s inherently stupid.” He gave me a rare smile. “I just wanted to take part.”

  Next was Dymphna. The daoine sídhe had changed dramatically, losing that down-trodden look she had carried. Her strength was back. She even looked taller.

  “I don’t understand,” I said. “What are you doing here? Where’s your daughter? Is she okay?”

  “Eithne is safe. She’s with the other daoine sídhe,” she said. “Thank you for your help with my situation. I went to the daoine sídhe and told them of Sadler’s threats. They were mightily offended by his audacity. He has apparently forgotten that we are a noble race.” She smiled. “And they were so outraged that they almost forgot they banished me. Drake came, too, and told them of the situation. They are willing to take charge and keep the peace until… a king returns. My daughter is under their protection, and I was given this quest as a chance to prove myself to them again.” She bowed her head. “I owe him besides that, I think.”

  I glanced over my shoulder at Drake. “So you’re king now?”

  “Of course he’s king,” Sorcha scoffed.

  Startled, I looked around and found her rebuilding the fire, a sneer on her face. Grim, Realtín, and Bekind were huddled nearby. Realtín was scarlet red, not a good sign.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” I realised I was still holding a dagger in one hand.

  “Maybe you should tell her, Drake,” Sorcha said with a mocking laugh.

  I looked at him. His face was a mask again.

  “Or I will,” she added.

  He frowned at me. “We need to talk.” He hurried over and took my hands to pull me away from the others.

  “I don’t—”

  “Trust me,” he murmured.

  Arlen handed him a torch, and he led me into the darkness, far away from the others, who began to sort out a new campsite. The tunnelled holes had ruined half of our original camp, and we needed more space for all of the extra horses and people. They had arrived on only four mounts, so some had ridden together. I stumbled in the sand, but Drake didn’t stop until we were out of earshot of the others.

  “So talk,” I said.

  “Things are complicated.” He reached for me but dropped his hand before touching me. “They needed me to step in at the ceremony. Everyone was expecting my face. They didn’t notice anything else.”

  “So you’re going to give the throne back to Brendan when we find him then.”

  “No.” He hesitated. “I need this power.”

  “You can’t steal the throne.”

  “They gave it to me.”

  “Are you kidding me? Don’t you see what you’ve done? How dangerous it is for you and everyone else?”

  “I’m not done yet—”

  I shoved him. “I don’t even know you!”

  He grabbed my wrists and pulled me closer, his wings unfolding beneath his cloak. “You do. Better than anyone. You know the important… Cara, this is serious. If there is no king in name, the faery realm and the human one would both fall to pieces. They need control. And Sadler would have stepped in if I hadn’t.”

  “So this isn’t all about him and Deorad?” I knew he wanted to pay his father back, but would he stop there?

  “Deorad’s probably dead,” he said dismissively.

  “Probably?”

  “Until I see a body, I won’t truly believe that the man who fathered me is dead. Sadler refused to let anyone see him, and that makes me suspicious.”

  “So what now? Why is Sorcha here? How does this explain… anything?”

  He looked at me pityingly. “It doesn’t. I went straight to you after the ceremony, once I was sure I was safe. I thought Grim and Realtín would have taken you back to your friend, Zoe. When you weren’t there, I waited, but it soon became clear that you had never gone there. I went to your family home.”

  “Did you?” I bit my lower lip. “Were they… was everyone okay?”

  “It’s all calm,” he said softly. “But you had vanished, and I realised you had never left the fae realm. At first, I thought Sadler had taken you, and I…” He shook his head. “Líle reminded me that the Fade is the first place you would go after being told you couldn’t. I wanted to go after you right away, but I had to organise the court first. Dymphna helped me with the daoine sídhe, and they pretty much forced her to come with me. Líle and Anya wouldn’t hear of being left behind, and Arlen has been… difficult since things changed. So we grouped up and tried to track you, but we couldn’t seem to find a trace. Every now and then, we would find remains of a camp, but we never knew whose.”

  He looked pained, almost pleading. “You have to understand… you were a human all alone in the faery realm but for a cat, a sprite, and a brownie. You were heading to the Fade with nothing but death in your path. Then Sorcha found us and proposed a deal. I had no choice.”

  “What
deal?”

  “It doesn’t matter now. The point is that she said she could find you, and she did. How, I don’t know.”

  “And she wants to free Brendan?”

  Again, that hesitation. “We’re all here to take Brendan’s soul from the Fade and put it back where it belongs.”

  “But the demi-goddesses—”

  He held up his hand. “Those women won’t interfere with this—I don’t think. In fact, I’m pretty sure this is what they wanted to happen. Why, I don’t know. I can’t see what’s in it for them, apart from their own amusement.”

  “So you want to come with us then. You think you can tag along.”

  He blinked. “We just saved your lives.”

  “We were doing okay,” I hedged.

  He gripped my shoulder and held up the torch to see me clearly. “Cara, we’re coming with you.” His hand slipped up to cup my cheek. “It’s far more dangerous deeper into the Darkside, and the Fade is just… ridiculous.”

  I brushed away his touch. “Oh, have you been to the Fade?”

  “No, but… stop being so cold.”

  “You mean the way you’ve been? I almost died. And you didn’t even say goodbye to me. You kept the fact that Sadler was your grandfather from everyone, even though you knew exactly who he was. I can’t trust you.”

  “I know,” he said quickly. “But I knew the hedge-witch would interfere. I knew you weren’t dying.”

  “No, you didn’t,” I said softly. “You were supposed to be the good soul, but it was Brendan who held me as I lay dying. He was there when I learned the truth about my family, when I needed somebody.”

  “He’s the one who—”

  “Fine,” I said. “You can come if Bekind, Grim, and Realtín agree, but if Sorcha tries to kill me again—”

  “She won’t,” he said firmly. “I promise you that you’re safe from her. That was part of our deal.”

  “Let’s hope at least one of you can keep a promise then.”

  I turned and walked back to camp. That wasn’t how I had expected our next meeting to go. Not so very long ago, we had spent the night together, but we were strangers again. I needed to hug that body and comfort that soul, but there was a wall between us, and he had built it brick by brick.