Everlasting

by S. E. Lund

  "Well, she's wrong. Maureen cheated on you. If anyone deserves to feel bad, it's Maureen for cheating on her husband and never telling you that she was pregnant with your child. She had your baby for years and didn't tell you until she needed you to save your child's life. That's what people don't know about Maureen."

  "Did I tell you that I love you?" I said, my throat choked up from the passion in Kate's voice.

  "You did, but you can do it again as many times as you want."

  Then I kissed her and my heart swelled with love for her, my fierce defender. I would have liked to make love to her at that moment, but Sophie snuffled beside us on the bed and Kate turned over, slipping out of my arms so she could put Sophie's pacifier back in her mouth.

  "Tomorrow night I'm going to fuck your brains out, Mrs. Morgan, and make you orgasm at least two times," I whispered, slipping my arm around her waist, snuggling against her. "You can count on it."

  "Only two?" she replied, a saucy note in her voice.

  "Don't get too greedy," I said with a laugh. I squeezed her, and then closed my eyes, smiling, happy to be back where I belonged with my beautiful loving wife and cherub of a baby.

  I slept through the morning, barely opening my eyes when Kate and Sophie got up and left me alone in the warm bed, a pillow over my head to blot out the light. The house was so filled with sunlight from every angle that I needed a pillow to be able to fall back to sleep. I'd sleep through breakfast and have lunch with them, because I'd be able to spend the next couple of glorious days with the two of them non-stop.

  When I finally woke up for good, I smelled coffee brewing in the kitchen and heard the television, tuned to CNN and whatever passed for breaking news. It was just audible over the sound of water running in the laundry room. Kate had been busy. I rose from the bed and went to the bathroom to have a quick shower. I needed to feel the hot stream of water to wake me up completely. Five days of consecutive twelve-hour shifts had worn me out. I'd need a day or two of solid sleep to catch up.

  I dressed in a pair of shorts and light t-shirt and went to the kitchen to fix myself a cup of coffee. In the distance, I saw Kate and Sophie on the beach below our house. Kate was standing beside Sophie, her hands on her hips, watching the ocean. Sophie played in the sand with her toys, her little floppy brimmed hat on to shade her face from the sun.

  It was a peaceful domestic scene and made me feel it was all worth it. The long hours at the ER, the lack of sleep, even the hassles of trying to fit into a new environment and learn new procedures and rules. Not even Christy and her busy-body-in-my-business warning could ruin my mood when I saw what waited for me on the beach.

  I took my cup of coffee, slipped on my sunglasses and joined Kate and Sophie on the beach. When I reached her side, I pulled Kate into my arms and kissed her on the mouth.

  "How are you today, Mrs. Morgan?"

  She smiled and squeezed me. "Wonderful, as usual. How did you sleep?"

  "As well as can be expected. How's my little Sophie?"

  "She's good. We're so lucky to have such a good baby."

  "We are."

  I knelt and watched Sophie play. She had a shovel in her hand and was flapping it against the sand. She smiled up at me around her pacifier and that smile made me smile even larger. For the next fifteen minutes, we built a sand castle, or should I say, I built one and Sophie smacked it with her shovel.

  "Are you hungry?" Kate asked. "I was going to make us some lunch if you are. What do you feel like?"

  I sat back and glanced up at her. "Anything you want."

  "I have some leftover chicken curry and rice if you want me to heat it up."

  "Like I say, whatever you feel like. I'm used to cafeteria food so I'll eat anything if it's homemade."

  Kate left the two of us on the beach and went back to the house to fix lunch. For the next ten minutes or so, I stayed and played with Sophie, taking her down to the water and letting her stand in the surf, our feet wet while I walked her around, her little hands clasped tightly in mine.

  I gathered up the toys and then carried Sophie back up to the house, glad to be able to spend lunch with them instead of sleeping. The rest of the day was ours and I wanted to soak up the family life while I could.

  When lunch was ready, we sat down at the island and ate our food. Sophie sat in her chair and I spooned some food into her mouth between a spoonful of my own lunch into mine.

  "Are you going to your studio this afternoon?" I asked, remembering that Kate had a few things to get for her studio. "You might as well while Sophie has a nap."

  "Do you mind?" she replied, biting her lip like she felt guilty. "I'd love to finish getting a few things from the art supply store and I need a stool so I thought I might pop by. Then, we can spend the rest of the day together until we drop Sophie at my dad's for the night."

  "That was my thinking."

  Just then, my cell dinged, indicating a text message.

  BRENDA: Do you have a minute? Wanted to pass something by you.

  "Who is it?" Kate asked, leaning over my shoulder to check.

  "It's Brenda. She sent me an email saying that she's in town staying at Maureen's and probably wants to know if Liam can come for a visit."

  I connected the cell number beside Brenda's contact and waited for her to answer. She came on the line after the first ring.

  "Oh, Drake, thanks for calling. I'm in town for a couple of weeks and have something delicate to discuss with you, but I can't right at this moment."

  Her voice was soft like she was trying to hide her conversation with me.

  A surge of adrenaline went through me at the possibility that Liam was sick.

  "What's the matter? Is Liam okay?"

  "He's fine. I really can't talk now, because he's here for lunch, but if you could come by and meet me for a coffee so we could talk while he's in school, that would be great."

  "Sure, when would you like me to come by?"

  "If you're free this afternoon, that would be best. Liam gets out of school after three and I usually pick him up at that point."

  "What's this about, Brenda? I need to know something."

  "It's about Maureen and Chris. Just come by and I'll explain everything."

  I sighed. "Okay. I'll be there at two o'clock."

  "That should give us enough time before Liam gets out of school," Brenda replied. "Thanks, Drake. I appreciate this. I know it's cloak and dagger but I don't want to say anything in front of Liam."

  "You could text me the gist of it."

  "Okay, sure. See you later."

  I hung up and waited for her text. Within five minutes, my cell dinged and I read her text.

  BRENDA: Chris is unhappy back in California and wants to go back to Indonesia. Maureen wants to go with him. She doesn’t think Liam can come because of his medical needs. I offered to keep him with me for part of the year, but that means he'll be coming to Manhattan with me. As his father, I think you're the logical one for Liam to live with, even if only part time. Maureen's not happy about that, but I think she's really depressed and isn't thinking straight. We need to talk strategy.

  I showed the text to Kate and she gasped, her eyes wide.

  "Oh, my God, Drake. How could she leave Liam like that? How could she consider it?"

  I shook my head. "She must be depressed. People who are depressed sometimes can't think clearly. "She thinks she can't live without Chris."

  "How can Chris force this kind of decision? He doesn’t deserve to have Liam as a stepson."

  I shrugged and texted my reply.

  DRAKE: I understand. She wants to go with Chris but can't take Liam because he's still under close observation and his remission is being monitored. Maybe after we're sure his remission is more permanent, he can go and stay with her for a while. He should be able to fly there and stay for a short time, but if it interferes with his school it might be best to stay with me in California. I'm sure Kate and I would be happy to have Liam stay with us, either per
manently or part time. Up to you and Maureen and I to work it out. But I'd hate to see him bounced around between Manhattan and San Francisco.

  BRENDA: Thanks for being so sensitive about this. I'm at my wit's end with Maureen. I only want what's best for all of us but my life is in Manhattan. I'd be happy to have him stay with me but if you're here, and Liam is in school and loving it, I think he should be here. One place or the other. Since you're his father, it's best he stay with you.

  DRAKE: See you in thirty minutes.

  I put my cell away and looked at Kate.

  "Would you be okay if Liam came and stayed with us?"

  Kate leaned closer to me and ran her fingers through my hair. "Drake, he's your son. Of course, he can come and stay with us. Whatever you want."

  We kissed and I was so glad that I had such an understanding wife.

  "I'm sorry if this means you can't go to your studio."

  "No, that's no problem. This is important. I can go to my studio any day."

  I kissed her. "You're so wonderful. I better get ready and leave so I can be there in time."

  I kissed Sophie and Kate once more.

  "Maybe Sophie will grow up with a big brother after all," she said hopefully.

  "It would be great for them both but I have a feeling it's going to be a long hard battle with Maureen. She doesn't like the idea of me having anything to do with raising Liam other than parental visits now and then. But if Brenda takes Liam back to Manhattan with her, it'll be even harder for me to see him. I can afford to fly there whenever I want, but still. It's a huge inconvenience considering I'm living here now."

  "I know. I'm sorry this is happening."

  I kissed her and after changing into something more appropriate, I gathered my wallet and keys before leaving the house, wondering as I drove along the highway to Maureen's place farther south on the coast how things would work out.

  Having Liam live with me had been something in the back of my mind since I found out he was my son.

  I arrived at Maureen's place in the southern sector of San Francisco and knocked on the door once I arrived. Brenda greeted me and I entered the cool dark interior of her bungalow.

  "Come in," she said and gave me a quick hug. "We have about an hour before Liam comes back from school. Can I get you a cup of coffee or a drink of something? Lemonade?"

  "Lemonade sounds good. I just had coffee."

  She mixed me a tall glass.

  "You have to understand I'm really mad at Maureen over this," Brenda said and I could hear the emotion in her voice. "I just don't understand how she could even imagine going with Chris and leaving Liam behind. It's horrible of her."

  "She must be very unhappy to consider it. I know she loves Liam."

  Brenda shook her head and slipped on a pair of dark sunglasses. Then, the two of us went to the deck and sat on a pair of lawn chairs under an awning. Across from us, the view of the harbor was fantastic.

  "She's selfish, plain and simple. Chris is selfish if he insists on leaving. Why can't he be happy here? He must know this is forcing Maureen to choose between him and Liam."

  "He's not Liam's biological father. I would think there's a sore spot in him because of that."

  "He raised Liam all those years, thinking Liam was his."

  I shrugged. "People are different. I never knew Liam was mine, but I'd take him tomorrow and make sure he had the very best family life I could give him."

  "I know," Brenda said and reached over to take my hand and squeeze it. "I'm so glad you feel that way. I'd be willing to keep Liam here, but you are his father and he deserves to be with you. Since we're both here, we can both see him while Maureen is away. Maybe she'll come to her senses and move back, realizing that Liam is more important than Chris."

  I shook my head. "I can't imagine being forced to choose between Kate and Sophie. I couldn't do it."

  "I had to when Maureen's father left us. I made sure to stay in the same neighborhood so that Maureen could grow up with her friends and stay at her school. It was only when she went off to college that I finally was able to come back to California to live, at least part of the year. I feel like Maureen should be able to make the sacrifice and stay here. She could always fly to Kuala Lumpur for a week or two at a time and leave Liam with me, but she's afraid that the distance will break them up."

  "They say absence makes the heart grow fonder."

  "I told her that but she replied 'out of sight, out of mind'. She thinks it would be inevitable that Chris would find someone else."

  "He might. Liam will always be her son. Look, I know how hard it is to lose a mother. I survived, but I wouldn't want to force a child through it."

  "She mentioned you and said that you were able to be a success even though your mother left. She said that a lot of children spend long periods of time with their grandparents and besides, she said she'd fly home frequently on holidays to be with Liam."

  "It's not enough," I said, frowning, angry at Maureen for doing this to Liam. "Holidays are never enough."

  We sat in silence for a while and I sipped my lemonade, wondering how upset Liam would be when he learned she was leaving. I remembered crying for days when my mother left and my father was no help. He kept trying to reassure me that she'd come back for visits, but she never did. She sent me cards for the first year or two but even they stopped when she got a new life and moved on.

  It hurt.

  Who knew how much losing my mother shaped me into the man I currently was? I was wound up so tight growing up, trying to keep my emotions in check, fearing that if I didn't, people wouldn't like me. My father loved me, but he only showed it by doing physical things with me, like working on a car or bike or taking me on trips where we didn't talk about things that really mattered.

  I didn't want Liam to grow up with a father like that. I wanted him to know I loved him because I showed it and told him so.

  I did love Liam, even though I barely knew him. I felt an incredible wave of emotion as I sat there with Brenda and thought about Maureen leaving him to go to Indonesia. My eyes brimmed and I had to bite my inner cheek to stop it, the pain washing away some of my emotions.

  "I'll do whatever Liam needs," I said, my voice choked up. "If he wants to come and stay with us, I'll be happy to have him and so will Kate. I know Sophie would love to have a big brother. You can see him as much as you want."

  "I want you to know that Maureen will fight you having custody."

  "What?" I said and turned to face Brenda. "If she's going away, she has to let me have him. He needs a parent. It's great he has you, but he needs a father and a mother. Kate and I will give him that. How could she fight it?"

  "The trial," Brenda said and sighed. "She thinks it would be bad for Liam to be living with you while the trial is going on. She doesn't want him to know his father is involved in anything sordid."

  "I'm not. Kate was attacked by a psychopath who imagined a relationship between us."

  "I know that and you know that, but Maureen has this thing about you, Drake. I just wanted you to know that if you want custody, you'll have to sue for it."

  "I will," I said, my anger rising, making my heart pound. "I'll sue for custody and I have some of the best lawyers money can buy."

  "I know," she said. "I'm sure you do. The courts can be tricky when it comes to custody, especially if parents have been involved in anything..." she hesitated. "Questionable, sexually. Just be prepared."

  "I will."

  Then I left, my heart heavy at the thought that Maureen would leave Liam for so long. If I had anything to do with it, he'd come to live with me.

  I was his father.

  Chapter 5

  KATE

  Drake left Sophie and me and took his car down the coast to Maureen's. Instead of spending the afternoon with him before I went to the studio as I had planned, it would just be Sophie and me, alone as usual.

  I felt bad for Drake and Brenda, having to work together to try and figure out how
to deal with Maureen's depression and desire to leave the country with Chris, but if Drake could get shared custody, maybe this would give him the chance to really be a father to Liam. He saved Liam's life and now, maybe he'd be able to get to know him as a son. My heart squeezed to think of how sad Liam would be to see his mother leave. How could he feel anything but rejected and abandoned? Maureen had to be completely depressed to be willing to leave Liam behind and go with Chris. I couldn’t understand it.

  But then I remembered – that's exactly what happened to Drake.

  Drake's mother left him when he was only ten years old. She'd never recovered from the loss of Drake's older brother, Liam. Was history repeating itself?

  I promised myself that I would be a real mother to Liam, if he came to live with us. Drake grew up without a mother. He had a succession of nannies and housekeepers who looked after him well enough but of course, they likely didn’t love him the way a mother does.

  I wouldn't let Liam grow up without a mother, if it came to that. I felt tears fill my eyes at the thought that Maureen could even consider leaving Liam, and hugged Sophie tightly while she sat in my lap and drank her afternoon bottle before her nap.

  What a cruel world it was that little children grew up without mothers...

  Sure, maybe some were better off without their mother if she was abusive, but still...

  I spent the afternoon hugging Sophie, unable to imagine leaving her. She fell asleep in my arms with her bottle and I let her sleep with me on the sofa instead of moving her to her crib, just because I felt a need to have her with me. When Elaine called, I whispered into my phone, hoping to let Sophie sleep longer.

  "Hi, can I text you? Sophie's asleep with me."

  "Sure, I'll send you a text."

  "Thanks, bye."

  I ended the call and read Elaine's text, holding the cell with one hand while the other held Sophie beside me on the sofa.

  ELAINE: Just calling to check on you two coming for supper before leaving Sophie with us.

  KATE: We're so thankful you agreed. We haven't been alone since our stay at the Ritz-Carleton. Drake's out right now but we'll come by later.